THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY
fragile || five hargreeves x reader

CHAPTER TWO: PINCH ME, I MUST BE HIGH AS A KITE

Written By: peachyhxlland

°•.☆.•°

"Am I high or is that you, (Y/n)?" Klaus gasped as he pointed at you with a glass of liquor in his other hand. "As much as I want to stop drugs for seeing things unusual—"

"Yes, it's me, Klaus." You smiled at your brother.

Klaus placed his glass down and sat up from his seat and gave you a big hug. "You're so small that I can hug you like a pillow!"

He quickly let go of you and cupped your cheeks with his big thin hands. "Pinch me, I must be high as a kite."

You smirked and pinched him hard on his arm earning a loud yell from Klaus. Klaus stepped away as he rubbed his arm to soothe the pain. "Okay, yeah, I'm not high. Maybe just a little. After all these years, you're still 15?!"

You gave him a shrug as he took the glass from his hand and drank the liquor straight down. "I don't even remember why I look 15. But believe me, I'm 30 like you guys."

"Well, if you're 15 then you shouldn't be..." Klaus took back the glass you were holding and poured down more liquor into it, drinking and not leaving some for you. "...allowed drinking alcoholic drinks."

"Klaus, that doesn't make any sense. I just look like 15 but I really am 30." You sighed and just thought of a new topic. "How's Ben?"

Klaus shrugged. "You know, ghostly stuff. Being a nerd."

"Tell her it's great to see her again." Ben told Klaus as he nudged him. Klaus glanced at Ben and sighed. "Ben said it's nice to see you again."

You smiled in return. "It's nice to know you're here Ben. I wish I could see you."

"Tell her I miss her, Klaus."

Klaus sighed heavily. "Apparently, I'm the delivery of messages now. Ben said he misses you."

"I miss you too, Ben. Every day I wish you're here with us, hanging out, talking with you all day, and more."

Luther entered the room where you and Klaus are talking. "Family meeting."

You and Klaus exchange looks before shrugging and following Luther. You and Klaus entered the room and spotted Diego, Vanya, and Allison.

"Can we hurry this along?" Diego questioned, getting impatient. You sat down on the table while the others were on the chair. You waved your hand and took the glass from Klaus again with your powers and poured liquor, drinking it. "Oh yeah, almost forgot you have those powers." Klaus frowned.

"I thought we could have the memorial service at sundown. Out by Dad's favorite tree."

Allison widened her eyes, surprised at Luther's statement. "Dad had a favorite tree?"

"You know, under the oak tree. We used to sit out there all the time. None of you ever did that?" Luther asked, surprised that no one in his siblings knew their dad's favorite spot.

Klaus got himself another glass and poured down liquor while he gave you a small glare for taking his other glass. You noticed this and stuck your tongue out, taunting him. He walked away was he was done and walked towards his siblings with a cigarette in hand. "Will there be refreshments? Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner."

Luther looked at him in disbelief. "What? No. And put that out. Dad didn't allow smoking in here."

"Dad isn't here, Luther." You shrugged as you gulped down the rest of the alcohol on your glass. "He isn't here to scold us like little babies."

"Is that my skirt?" Allison interjected a question to Klaus, finally recognizing one of her clothes being worn by her adopted brother. "What? Oh, yeah, this." Klaus smiled. "I found it in your room. It's a little dated, I know, but it's very breathy on the bits."

"It doesn't matter. What's important is that there are things we still need to discuss, alright?"

"Like what?" Diego questioned.

"Like Dad. The way he died."

You turned to Diego who groaned and rolled his eyes at Luther. "Aaaand here we go."

As much as you love your family, you paid no more attention to the conversation. It was a stupid idea that someone tried to kill their father. It was clearly a heart attack. Just a natural cause of death. You knew Luther was just being paranoid or overthinking.

"Look, I know you don't like to do it, but I need you to talk to Dad." Luther told Klaus who just sat beside Vanya.

You turned to Klaus as you stretched your arm out and suddenly the bottle of liquor was in your grasp. 'Almost forgot how I love my powers.'

You heard Allison scoffed with Luther's request to Klaus while Klaus pointed himself in disbelief. "I can't just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, 'Dad, could you just... stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?'"

You snorted, causing your siblings to look at you while Klaus looked proud he made you snort. "Oh, I'm sorry." You slightly chuckled. "But he's got a point though. He can't just do that easily. He's high as fuck."

"Is she even allowed to be drinking and swearing?" Luther asked Allison who just shrugged at him.

"Maybe she's drunk." Klaus snickered.

You started drinking again and paid no attention to your siblings as they started talking again. Yeah, probably with this 15-year-old body of yours, you can get drunk easily. Or maybe it's probably it's been a while since you drank alcohol again.

Your attention was caught back to their conversation when you heard Diego saying that Luther was suspecting you and your other siblings of killing Reginald Hargreeves. It was such an accusation and how dare he thinks that one of them wants to kill their father who adopted them.

Sure, they all hated him but it never came to the point that they wanted to kill him.

Luther turned to you with his suspecting eyes. You managed to scoff but it was too loud that the rest stopped for a moment. "What is it?" Diego asked you.

"The big guy thinks I killed Dad." You told everyone causing them to turn to Luther. "Just because you saw me first here in this goddamn house doesn't mean I killed him. And even if I have the heart to kill him, I still wouldn't do it."

Vanya scoffed at Luther. "How could you even think of that?"

Luther sighed. "No, I don't think—"

"Yeah, you're right." You slammed your glass down, hopped down from the table you were sitting and faced him. "You don't think. You never do. You always jump into conclusions. Try using your brain next time, yeah?" And with that, you shoved him even if he didn't budged or moved.

You exited the room and softly heard your other siblings lecturing Luther. "Great job, Luther. Way to lead." You heard Diego hissed.

"That's not what I'm saying."

"You're crazy, man. You're crazy. And that's coming from me. Crazy." Klaus told him as he stood up.

"I've not finished."

"Okay, well sorry, I'm just gonna go murder Mom. Be right back. Be right back."

You love Luther, you really do, but sometimes you wonder if he even has a brain. His useless thoughts would get you and your siblings to trouble someday and you can already feel it.

°•○●○•°

You and your siblings just got back from the bank that was robbed that you and your siblings stopped. Five was easy to annoy and you were now annoying him how his voice cracked a bit when encountering a robber.

"That's one badass sTaPLeR!" You mimicked his voice, annoying him even more with a giggle. You have been repeating that line for the fifteenth time and you never got tired teasing him about it.

Heck, you even teased him while Reginald was giving a speech and gladly, Reginald didn't hear the both of you whispering.

Five huffed as he crossed his arms. "Shut up, Eight. We're 13 and going through puberty. Of course my voice would crack!"

"Well, your voice cracked at a very wrong time."

Your other siblings stared at the two of you as you continued teasing the poor Five. You were a quiet child when Reginald took you to the house when you were a little kid. You were around 2 when your real mother had no other choice but to give you to the old Hargreeves.

Your poor mother was getting very ill and there was no hope for her to live any longer. Even if it pains her, she had to give you to Reginald.

Why not give you to the other family members?

Well, unfortunately, you have no longer family members. You do have your grandfather but your mother knew your grandfather couldn't raise you all alone.

Reginald helped you talk but to your surprise, with no pressure nor with force learning how to speak. You were still a quiet kid when you grew up but you were energetic and talkative around the people you're really close with. Five was one of them.

But as you grew older, you sometimes forget things like small things. You didn't know why but you paid no mind. You thought of it as genetic in your family for being forgetful.

Five frowned at you and walked away, going to the kitchen to make himself some sandwich while you walked towards Ben. Ben was also the closest friend you have on the Academy. You weren't really close with Luther, Diego, and Allison but you managed to talk to them anyway. You were slowly getting comfortable around them.

"You should go to the bathroom, Ben." You told him. "Wash up and we can read books together after."

Ben's lips curved up into a smile and a small blush even with some blood covering his face. "That sounds good." Ben quickly got upstairs excitedly while you look around to see Five leaning on a doorframe, a second sandwich in his hand, and offering it to you. "Take it or I'll eat it."

"Why do I earn a sandwich that was made by you?" You asked suspiciously as you took the sandwich from his hand with your powers which included telekinesis.

"You're sometimes an asshole but you deserve it." Five gave you small shy smile which made your heart skipped a beat. "You did good back there except for teasing me all day."

You slightly laughed. "And I will never stop teasing you."

°•○●○•°

You sighed heavily as you stared at Klaus' cigarette box. "Must fight the temptation or I'll end up having cancer." You huffed.

"You'll give in soon." Klaus said as he sat down beside you. "Or probably not since you're like the strongest than the rest of us."

You looked up to see the picture of your father and then looked at Klaus who was hugging the jar where your father's ashes are placed. "I can't believe you're still hugging that even after you danced."

"You didn't even danced, (Y/n). The music was great. I think we're alone now!~" Klaus sang as he put the jar down on the table.

"Had no energy to do so. And almost had no air for laughing too hard when you dropped the jar and scattered dad's ashes."

You and Klaus started laughing until you both froze when lightning was heard outside the house. You and Klaus exchanged looks until the jar slipping off the table. You stretched your arm out and you managed to catch it with your powers before it hits the ground.

Klaus quickly took the jar on his hands and hugged it. "Oh! Daddy?" Knives starting flying around so you and Klaus had to get out to see what was happening outside.

You saw the others already outside and looking up on what looks like a portal. "What the fuck?" You whispered. You looked around and saw Klaus was nowhere to be seen. "And where the fuck is he?"

"Looks like some sort of temporal anomaly." Luther deducted. "Either that or a miniature black hole. One of the two."

"Pretty big difference there, Paul Bunyan." Diego told Luther, seeing that there was no way it was one of those things that Luther has said.

"And if it is a black hole, we would have been sucked in by now." You added earning a nod from Vanya.

"Out of the way!" You heard Klaus' screaming as he ran to the front and tried to spray what was left on the fire extinguisher. Klaus looked at the extinguisher briefly before tossing it on the blue portal-like thing.

"What is that gonna do?" Allison asked Klaus.

"I don't know! Do you have a better idea?" Klaus replied back as he threw his hands in the air, giving up. The portal crackles and you saw an old man briefly. "What on Earth...?" You softly whispered.

"Everybody get behind me." Luther ordered.

"Yeah, get behind us." Diego added, stepping in front too with Luther.

Vanya took your hand and kept you close behind her while Klaus was beside you. "I vote for running, c'mon!" Klaus took your arm and tried to ran back inside the house but you didn't budge and wanted to see who the old man is.

Everyone let their guard down when the old man was changing appearance. You stepped in front of Vanya to see clearly who it was. You were gonna stepped closer but Diego blocked you with his arm.

Then, a boy fell from the blue portal and landed his face on the ground. The electricity from the portal and the portal itself slowly faded away as you and the others approached the familiar boy on the ground.

The boy stood up, covered with dead leaves around him from the ground and was wearing an oversized suit. Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open.

"Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?" Klaus asked, surprised as everyone see their brother on a 16-year-old body.

Five furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and examined himself, seeing his small body and his oversized clothes. Five softly gasped and slumped his shoulder in disappointment. "Shit."

An awkward silence filled the area until Klaus pinched your cheeks causing you to yelp in pain. Everyone looked at you including Five who was surprised to see you. "It hurts!" You hissed at Klaus.

"I thought you were gonna say 'pinch me, I must be dreaming.' Ya know?"

-•-°-•-°-☆

This chapter was made on September 24.

A surprise update! Since it's still two days after my birthday, let's publish this for y'all. I honestly can't wait for Friday to publish a chapter right now so I decided... to publish the chapters Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, every 6 pm (Philippine Time). I hope it's fine with you guys!

(I published this chapter at 8 pm Wednesday and not 6 pm (Philippine Time as always) cos I was so busy with online class ;-;)