it was time

time for Jay to take back control of himself and get out of that damn room

and leaving all the paranoidies, tears, punches against the wall, wounds on the body, blame, suicidal thoughts, depression and other things that Jay did not want to remember now

he was still uncertain whether or not he should go to the memorial of his "deceased" yang

he knew he would be completely enveloped in sadness and guilt

every day a thousand questions are asked

"why I was so stupid to let her go"

"why she did this to herself"

"why she couldn't just stay"

and many others questions that continued to grow in his head..

now he was standing in front of the bathroom mirror

and, hesitantly, analyzed his own tired face

that expression he had from when he was a sweet child... had disappeared along with Nya

his face was more thin.. much more than it was before

and this game of intercepting several discoveries of his body, lasted for a few seconds, until he took the courage to open the tap water

when he touched the water.. he immediately took his hand away. and shivers pervades his entire back. and tears highlighted the large bags down his eyes

he look his wet hand.. and remember her last touch

but the touch, in reality, made him find tranquility

so he put again his hand under the water, and with all the courage he washed his face.  and after that, he felt better, bringing his dripping face back in the mirror

but this time he had a little smile on his face..

and then moving his gaze towards the shower anxiously

he wasn't sure if was ready for this amount of memories

but he'll go in it anyway.

moderated the temperature that he thought was appropriate for him, and then he put himself under the water slowly

he used to have the water very hot, it always helped him to reflect and recover from whatever mood he was in.. but maybe, hot water wasn't help so much right now..

especially when he remembered that the shower was one of the most relaxing things between him and Nya, where they would spent their time to be alone and more intimate

he remembered her soft fingertips that glided with the water along his sculpted back. her head rested on his chest, letting her hair attached in his chest. while in the meantime, they laughed, even for a little gaze, or just a little smile

and this memory hurt him tremendously

he squeezed his eyes and let the tears mix with the water

instantly he laid his arms over his torso and hugged himself... but that only hurt himself more, scratching the skin of his shoulders

but it was not the first time he did it, he already had marks and deep scratches on his back

as much as he continued to do body harm to remove the pain.. the mental one.. he wasn't going to do anything to stop it. his clear skin was cut, scratched, burned and full of scars

which were initially given by accidents at the junkyard when he was little, or from their numerous missions

but then the marks on his skin became frequent after.. that cancelled event

seeing Nya dying in his arms.. had knocked him down heavily.. starting his self-harm

but this thing last for not long, since Nya had discovered him

Nya had made Jay promise that he would not do it again, and he promised, no longer finding the huge need in it. all was returned to normal, and she was with him again

but..

he couldn't longer maintain the promise much more..

he was destroyed. sometimes he neither know himself anymore

the water began to get cold, and this unlocked Jay from his thoughts and got him out of the shower

and now, he had to fulfill his mission

being able to get up and start to being himself. again.

he just had to get out of the bathroom, put on his elegant tuxedo with blue tie, that she admired it much on him, and take a nice healthy and fresh breath outside the monastery

he can do it

he couldn't give up on her now

and never he would do it

and he knows that the others would be pretty proud of him

and especially her.

outside...

the restant ninja were ready. standing out, down the shadow of the protruding red roof

they also wore the black tuxedo with the ties in their gi colors

all the citizens of ninjago were already for the stairs of the monastery

journalists included

with them also the parents and close friends of the ninja

the four boys were together with their Master Wu, while they greeted the citizens

"Are you ready ninja?" Wu asked, with his voice calm and gently

"I hope so" a voice responded from behind them

to their surprise they saw the blue ninja after so many months

"Jay! you're out of your room! I can't believe it..!" Cole said, squeezing his best friend in a hug

"y-yeah Cole, l-let me breath please!" Jay pleaded, striving not to be a dead body standing 

Cole listened and left him, thus Jay fixing his tie, while someone began to approach him

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Kai asked suddenly

"Sure" Jay said

kai made the gesture to follow him with his hand to Jay. he followed his command and they walked side by side until they moved far enough away from the others

there was a few seconds of looking

but then he hardly spoke

"I was so sure you would get out of your room.. I'm so glad you managed to strain yourself" he said smiling "even if for just a day"

"thanks Kai.. I really appreciate it" Jay said surprised

"especially today... I recognize that it hurts both of us" Kai said, he smiled for a moment, and then he looked down putting his fingers over the bridge of his nose and sighed, trying not to cry

"I know, I know.." Jay said, also him trying not to cry

"she would be so glad of you" Kai said, looking at him again and then put an arm over Jay's shoulder

Jay only smiled in that comment, but it touched him a lot

"let's go back now, okay? " Kai said, changing the subject

"kay" and then, they rejoined the others

and in the meantime, all the citizens were visibly at the entrance of the monastery

Wu look at Jay and Kai a little sadly "it's time"