꒰ TO NEW BEGINNINGS ꒱

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 VERY late into the night and Estella couldn't stop thinking. She had decided what her future and relationship with Miguel Ángel would be and didn't know if karma would eventually catch up to her for it. She gazed outside admiring the dark starry sky of Guadalajara and realized that she loved being in Guadalajara much more than Tijuana. Tijuana was beautiful as well but there's nothing that felt better than being in the city you recognized as home.

"Why are you still awake this late?" Miguel Ángel stepped into the large bedroom his hair being in the natural state. Estella shut the balcony doors shut and sighed her peace abruptly being disrupted. Of course, she liked talking to Miguel but now it all felt wrong.

"I guess I can ask you the same thing. No?" Estella turned around to meet his eyes and crossed her arms. He nodded his head and looked away something she enjoyed seeing since it informed her that he was a bit intimidated by her.

"You're right. But I asked you the question first." He laughed walking closer to her, and Estella couldn't help but smirk and nod her head.

"Yes, that's correct. To answer your question I couldn't sleep. How could I?" Estella faked a chuckle and sat down on the neat bed. "I'm getting used to the cartel but at the end of the day, I'm still just the same vulnerable rich girl from Guadalajara who had her 10 minutes of rebellion. And the others they think I'm a joke particularly the Tijuana brothers and I don't know it bothers me but I understand why.

"Look if you want me to tell them to respect you-"

"No Miguel. Respect needs to be earned and I don't want them to be forced to do it. It will only make things more strained." Estella opposed his offer. She didn't want them to be threatened to trust and respect her it didn't seem right. Miguel Ángel agreed she was correct and sat down next to her the room suddenly becoming silent.

"I'm sorry that I can't tell you everything about what's going on. All I will say is that it's a hard situation and Estella I know you're smart so you probably already know what's happening." Miguel Ángel explained breaking the silence. Estella looked down at her feet and slowly nodded her head. She knew what was going on and what Rafa had done with Kiki but didn't want to speak about it. It was worrying and she wished to relax her anxiety even just for a few moments.

"I know and I understand. It worries me about my sister that's it but other than that I completely understand. But one question are we in more danger because of the situation with the DEA agent?" Estella looked up at him once again. He sighed and understood that she needed the truth.

"I don't know. Rafa fucked up and we don't know what to do with the agent yet. But like I said earlier you will be protected, you don't have to worry." Miguel Ángel shrugged telling her nothing but the truth. He knew the situation was difficult but hoped she would come to understand.

"I don't doubt your promise on my safety I don't Miguel but I'm sick of staying inside these different houses. I'm tired of it, and I need to just breathe for once." Estella closed her eyes running her fingers through her somewhat messy hair. She hated staying at multiple homes and wanted nothing more but to be able to live her life once again. She understood that the cartel was not always going to be lavish shops and parties but wanted a break and could see Miguel desired one as well.

"I understand...and that's why I've decided to allow you to visit your family. I'm sorry for keeping you away from them for this long but it was important and it seems like Sofia and your best friend aren't some snitches or threats." Miguel Ángel lightly smiled seeing Estella's face perk up and begin to glow hearing what he said.

"¿En serio?" Estella laughed leaning in closer to Miguel Ángel who muttered a slight "sí". She already has seen Ana and Sofia a couple of times but now would be free to be able to see them when she wanted to. However, she recalled that Ana wasn't that pleased with her and presumably wouldn't want to be around her after her life had been put at risk by Ramón twice.

"There's an exception, though. For your protection, you need someone to always be with you. I can't risk those gringos agents or police to arrest you or worse." Miguel Ángel mumbled glimpsing away at the balcony window. Estella's smiled dropped seeing his mood changed and hesitantly placed her hand on his hand.

"I made a decision." She whispered loud enough for him to hear. He looked down at her hand and turned to face her.

"What do you mean?" He asked not wanting to assume what this "decision" she was referring to.

"About our relationship. I think it's been overwhelming to think about especially after the situation with the DEA agent and trust me I'm still worried about all of this. But I made my decision and it's final." Estella let out a sigh pulling her hand away from his. For a moment Miguel Ángel was worried he was going to be let down by what she would say next.

"Okay, what is it then? What's your decision?" He stared at her with curiosity, and Estella couldn't help but feel blushed. He was very handsome and even now he still seemed to make her feel nervous.

"I...want to be with you. It's crazy to even say those words out loud, but it's true. I know it's dangerous and perhaps stupid, but I know what I'm getting myself into." Estella looked away feeling humiliated for saying something this foolish. What if he had changed his mind and maybe didn't want to seek anymore with her ever since the Kiki situation? Certainly, the last thing on his mind would be her.

"Aye Estella look at me." He chuckled noticing how anxious she was by confessing her feelings for him he then gently tilted her chin to look at him. "Why are you nervous? I'm the one who asked you."

"Because you're very unpredictable at times and I don't know if our relationship status is anything meaningful to you now with everything happening." Estella responded lifting her eyebrows. The last thing she needed was a complete embarrassment from getting rejected by him.

"No, it's important too. You're important to me, Estella." He smirked and leaned in to kiss her. At first, she stopped but then proceeded to kiss him back. As the kissing progressed Estella interrupted needing to ask one more question before going on.

"Promise everything will be okay?" She panted holding his face. He seemed to be stunned but nodded his head.

"Everything will be okay." He confirmed but even then they both knew that was a huge lie.

⋆┄┄┄┄┄┄┄✧┄┄┄┄ ⋆

Morning finally came and Estella felt like everything was going somewhat in accord. Although not perfect with the things going on in the cartel she felt eager to officially be in a relationship with Miguel Ángel. She hurried to shower and get dressed to see that Miguel was reading the newspaper and seemed to be stressed which was nothing new. Estella knew he had every reason to be worried especially at this moment.

"How are you?" Estella inquired sitting next to him. She saw how he was dressed in mostly all black and that he was a little nervous which she knew was all because of the problem with Rafa and the American agent.

"Fine." He replied smoking a cigarette. Estella looked at him and down at the ashtray next to him discovering a pile of used cigarettes had been put in there. She knew that when anybody over smoked it was usually due to stress and knew he was overthinking about the Kiki situation.

"Where are you going today?" Estella didn't want to be too nosey but was very curious. He glanced at her once again smoke coming from his cigarette.

"I'm going to discuss with Rafa and Neto about everything related to the American agent." Miguel Ángel thoroughly answered. Estella nodded her head and accepted the cigarette from Miguel.

"What are you doing to do with Rafa?" She questioned putting up an eyebrow. He looked away and tapped his foot indicating to Estella that he too didn't know the answer to that question yet. Rafa fucked up there was no lie about that and she knew well enough that there would be serious consequences for his actions even if Miguel didn't say it now.

"I don't know. I'm going to advise him to flee to a different country because once this news breaks the gringos are going to be after him. Pinche Rafa." Miguel Ángel mumbled thinking about Rafa's ignorant actions. He was a hot-headed person and that wasn't good for this business.

"And what about us?" She whispered leaning in closer to him she wasn't sure how he would respond to this and felt a bit apprehensive asking "Will we be safe?" She added.

"Of course. There's nothing to worry about but if there is we will be protected and I will tell you. All hell might break loose, but I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. Okay?" Miguel Ángel explained standing up. Estella stood up to face him and had this impression of being able to trust his word. If they were in a relationship now, it would mean she needed to trust him even though it could be tough especially in a situation like this. It was difficult to think about what was happening to the agent, and she tried her best to avoid it and also couldn't help but think about how this would impact the cartel in the future.

"I understand." She calmly responded. He nervously smiled and kissed her on the lips bringing her to smile as well.

"I have a question." Estella perked up at Miguel as they walked their arms linked. He gazed at her and shrugged waiting for her question.

"Yes?"

"Well since you agreed to let me see my family and friends now. I was thinking since you're so occupied with everything with Rafa and the...agent situation. I was wondering maybe I can visit them." Estella knew that her relationship with her family and particularly her friendship with Ana wasn't the best but wished to talk to her as well as Sofia which she still had many speculations about since the death of Jackson.

"With who? Your friend wasn't her name Ana?" Miguel glanced at her and heard her familiar chuckle.

"Yes, I just need to visit her to mend everything you know? Ramón and Benjamín haven't been the greatest to her or me for that matter. And I hate being in such a huge house by myself it would be much different if I was with you but I understand business is important." Estella sighed. It was going to be hard to adjust to his ways and knew he would have to be away at times. She had her doubts if he would remain faithful to her during these times apart but hoped he would change his bad habits from the past.

"I'm sorry for that eventually I will be able to spend more time with you. Right now it's complicated with the situation we're in. And you know I can tell the brothers to quit pulling that shit with you and your friend?" Miguel Ángel pulled her closer to him, Estella, shook her head and pursed her lips.

"As I said earlier I think they need to learn to trust and respect me on their own terms. I understand they are suspicious of me and my motives in this cartel and for that, I ask you not to do that. But I know your driver is out there waiting to take you to the hotel so your answer to my question is yes. Right?" Estella beamed letting go of Miguel Ángel who nodded his head approving to let her visit her friend.

"I told you earlier that you can so go ahead but remember the driver has to take you so you can be protected. You're a target to the gringos and other motherfuckers around here now." Miguel Ángel clarified letting go of her hand. She understood but still felt a bit on edge about this new reality. It was strange that she was going to be known as the lover of Miguel Ángel and knew that could easily risk her life and chances of being put into a jail cell much higher but wanted to take that risk to be with him.

"That's already clear. I'll see you later, no?" Estella giggled and kissed him once again.

"Yes. Hopefully, shit will go well with Rafa, and you know the situation..." Miguel Ángel didn't want to bring up Kiki because every time he did her face seemed to drop and he hated seeing that. Estella swallowed the gulp in her throat and saw him get inside the back of the car and drive away. It was impossible not to think about what was currently happening with Kiki but tried to ignore it as hard as she could. She found herself wondering what would happen to Rafa because of his outrageous actions or how the cartel would look like in the next few weeks. She knew the agent wasn't dead but had a feeling it wouldn't be long until he was and didn't know how to feel about that. She cared for Miguel and knew that a relationship with him came with things like this.

"Señora I will be going out." Estella politely smiled at the maid who nodded her head. She placed on her coat and went inside the back of the black car that had the driver in the front. She knew she would have to get used to this and found it kind of unusual having to have some type of bodyguard at all times but understood it was necessary for her safety.

"Where would you like to go?" The man asked looking at her through the rearview mirror. Estella pinched her eyebrows to think about where she would like to go. She didn't know if it would be too early to visit her parents since they were presumably not the happiest with her after the amount of backlash they had received from the public. It made her feel sad but knew that they needed time to forgive her for her despicable choices.

"I would like to go to my friend's house, please. It's very close I will guide you there." Estella told the driver who nodded his head and proceeded to pull out of the long driveway from Miguel's estate. She wanted to visit Ana assuming that Sofia would perhaps be there with her since the two had grown close after she had joined the cartel. She wished they would listen to her side of the story and possibly come to understand it and Estella hoped she would be able to receive more information on Jackson's death and how Sofia would react to her mentioning it.

Being driven through the streets of Guadalajara was remarkable for Estella and she adored every part of it. From the people, food, and buildings, and couldn't help but feel sentimental once the driver passed by her former college.

She had recalled the thrilling times she spent with Ana talking about their infuriating parents, criticizing Jackson's ways, and help each other with their studies. She missed it sometimes but then remembered how awful and alone she also had felt during these periods. The only thing she missed from college was Ana and wanted nothing more but forgiveness for getting her involved with something so dangerous like the Guadalajara cartel. It was never Estella's intention to get her family or friends involved and felt guilty for getting Ana practically killed by the Tijuana brothers who were impulsive at times.

"Her house is here. My friend and sister should be here. I will be inside only for about an hour at the most but I'll let you know if anything is wrong." Estella got out of the car thanking the driver. She stared up at the large house that stood in front of her and felt chills go down her spine. It was Ana's house and although it was a big house it wasn't nearly as big as Miguel's but this was one felt more personal.

Since she had known Ana for years, she knew that her parents who happened to be rich always were busy on business trips around America and South America and knew the house was usually left for Ana. Estella felt anxious walking up the several steps to Ana's door and debated if she should just run back to Miguel's house and wait for him to return to her but knew this could be her only chance to fix things between them. She finally got the courage and knocked on the door waiting for it to open. She stood there for a few moments looking back at the driver who happened to be engaged in some newspaper. Suddenly snapping back her focus was Ana who opened the door appearing shocked by her unexpected visit.

"Estella Conesa." Ana looked her up and down with a grimace on her face. Estella cringed hearing her best friend say her entire name and wondered why she was treating her like some stranger.

"You forgot my middle name." Estella chuckled but could see Ana wasn't entertained by this joke. If anything she looked like she wanted to slam the door shut in her face.

"What do you want? I told you at the club that we were fine but never said we could go back to normal. You're a criminal now who I happened to see on the news not to long ago with the biggest drug lord. It's obvious you're with him, and it's not okay. I can't be hiding your crimes and shouldn't be defending you. I've risked my life to defend you because you're my best friend but I can't do this anymore. The police have been on to me particularly that American agent." Ana explained her tears beginning to run down her eyes. She felt like she couldn't even recognize Estella anymore and that was hurtful. Estella felt guilt wash all over her and understood why Ana would be so angry.

"I'm so sorry Ana. I truly am, and you know I would never want you to jeopardize your life for me. You're my best friend and you deserve to stay out of this life so I completely understand if you want to cut me off but please give me a chance. I've known you for years and know you care about this friendship as much as I do. Please." Estella begged not wanting to give up their friendship or pick any side.

"Are you with him? Are you in a relationship with Félix?" Ana wiped her tears finally allowing Estella inside her house which made her feel that there was a possibility Ana would want to save their friendship.

"Yes, it was this morning to be precise when we confirmed it. But things happened before that and I guess things so far are going reasonably well. Even though it can be hard at times with everything with the cartel." Estella said walking around Ana's house like she normally did. She was confused about why Sofia hadn't come out to greet her but thought she was perhaps busy with something.

"I'm sure getting used to that life must be very difficult. But if he treats you right then, I suppose it must be good." Ana sat down across from Estella.

"Yes it is, but there's not a day that I don't think of my parents, you, and Sofia. On that note where is Sofia? I thought she was here." Estella asked looking around the vast living room area expecting to see her wild sister come running to hug her. Ana lifted her eyebrows in surprise and shook her head.

"Nope, she's been distant. No phone calls recently and I don't know why but you know your parents are probably taking her to church as we speak to try and change her rebellious ways." Ana laughed for the first time in their conversation and Estella forced a laugh. Something felt odd by this confirmation from Ana it only proved to Estella that Sofia was hiding something.

"You're thinking about Jackson right? I heard that he was shot in the chest, and there haven't