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𝙶𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐...

Nagi decided that calling his upcoming excitement towards you wasn't something worth to be called love. But what was love even? It's not like he had experienced it from his parents. He was basically living alone. Though even when he felt neglected, he was able to have a mostly friendship-like relationship with them. Still, there would definitely be someone better for you than him, he thought. He was most likely replaceable since he didn't know anything about love.

Probably I should leave her alone and let her be happy with that redhead...

A pain was spreading inside his chest and he remembered his conversation with Reo. So he really was falling in love with you, he figured. Or probably it was just interest because you were a skilled football player, touched his hair, complimented him, and were talking about him with your best friend.

»Mika here just thought that I have a crush on you, Nagi-kun. But I told him that that's not true.«, Nagi recalled your words and another pain occurred in his chest.

Urgh what a pain. Can't I just stop caring? It's such a nuisance. (Y/N) wouldn't fall for someone like me, would she? She doesn't seem like that. But how does someone seem when they're in love? I should ask Reo.

Nagi
Hey Reo, how do I know if
someone is in love with me?

Reo
It will be obvious. They talk to you
often, smile a lot, try to look good for
you and meet you.

Nagi
So are you in love with me Reo?

Reo
What? No! That's not what I meant!

Nagi
I don't understand.

Reo
Love is different for everyone, Nagi.

But eventually you'll find out.
I'm here to help you, just trust me.

Nagi
Does (Y/N) love me then?

Reo
Not quite yet. Seems like you two
took a liking to each other though.
Try to get to know her better and
you'll find out what she wants and
what you want.

Nagi
Will do! Thanks Reo!

Nagi just wanted to play Mobile Raid to distract himself from the thoughts that were repeating themselves over and over again in his head, when he got a message from Discord.

NemesiS
Hey Loser, wanna play tonight?

...NemesiS...

Choki56
Don't call me Loser! But yes!

NemesiS
Okay sugar daddy! ;)
Later!

...Sugar daddy again...that feels weird.

„I'm here to help you, just trust me", Nagi remembered Reo's message from a few minutes ago and decided to seek his friend's advice again.

Nagi
Reo what does it mean when
a girl calls me sugar daddy?

Reo
HUH?!

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You put your phone away and smiled satisfied. Playing with Choki56 was always fun, you were looking forward to the evening.

»Checkmate«, your Nana looked at Hyoma with the grin of an Angel on her lips and your friend couldn't react with anything other than a compliment: »You are a really admirable chess player, Miss Kawada.«

»Oh please, Hyoma, call me Ryoko. I told you a hundred times already. See it as my win for defeating you.«, she smiled at him.

»Alright, Ryoko. It's always a pleasure losing against you.«

Damn. If someone said this to me I'd be on my knees for real.

»(Y/N) it's your turn!«, Hyoma stood up and gestured you to sit down.

»Ah yes! It's me against the winner, right?«

»We have been playing this since middle school. Are you okay?«, he asked but a smirk was plastered on his lip. »Or could it be that your thoughts were simply somewhere else?«

You glared at him, a mischievous smile on your face. »This better be your last warning, Hyoma. One more word and my thoughts are elsewhere, thinking about the best way to torture you.«

»Try it!«, he grinned and you immediately wanted to accept the challenge, when your Nana started laughing. Dumbfounded the both of you looked at each other and then at her.
Eventually she wiped away her happy tears and stated: »You two argue like a married couple! What about we eat first? I will have to head home soon. Then you two can have time for yourselves!«

You blushed. »Nana! It's not like we're in love or something!«

»Y-yeah! What she said!«, Hyoma added.

»I know, I know. You're thinking about someone else, aren't you, (Y/N)?«

»Huh?«, you were taken aback by her sudden assumption.

»It's clear from the look on your face that you were just messaging someone you like.«

The heat in your face and ears increased and you felt the extreme urge to hide them. You just averted your gaze and folded your arms, replying: »I- I clearly wasn't!« As to underline your statement, you pursed your lips. Now Hyoma was the one to laugh. »Yeah yeah. Go on lying to yourself.«

You glared at him but met an understanding gaze which made your eyes soften. Your friend looked at you and placed his hand on your shoulder: »It's fine, (Y/N). I'm here if you wanna talk. It's the first time you like someone like this, right?«

You didn't reply until your Nana announced: »I'll go to the kitchen to prepare the Curry. You two go ahead.« You looked up to her and she winked at you. God, how you loved this woman.

Thank you, Nana.

When you and Hyoma were alone, you told him about how Nagi had caught your interest a while ago. You found him attractive, liked his aura, and now that you got closer to him you even took a liking to his personality. Somehow he seemed to be so similar yet so different than you. It was hard to read him at first, yet easy to understand him once he opened up. You just couldn't stop thinking about him and the way your heartbeat increased when he touched you made you overthink.

Then again, there was Choki56. Somehow he reminded you of Nagi, yet he was a little different in every little aspect. Sometimes more outspoken, sometimes more open, sometimes more mysterious...without trying to be. He surely was cute. Just like Nagi. Yet he was a good opponent which you truly respected. You always were looking forward to playing against him and felt the urge to learn more about him.

»Take it easy, (Y/N). How about you get to know him better? Find out whether Choki56 is a 16 year old or not - and don't do it the fuck alone! Take me with you or something. And about the guy from your class, you should try to get to know him better as well. Maybe meet up with him just the two of you to find out what you really want and feel.«

»Ah, actually we have a partner project from school together and will meet up next Friday.«

»That's great! It's your chance!«

»Thank you, Hyo-chan! Somehow all of this seems so logical now, I can't believe I needed advice or something like this.«, you sighed.

»Don't worry about it! Sometimes we don't see things clearly and that's when we need a friend for their stupidly intelligent advice. That's what you got me for!«

»Damn, I love you! In a friendship way, of course!«

He grinned: »Same the other way around!«

»...«

»...«

»Ah may I ask you something personal as well?«

»Go ahead!«, he nodded.

»When we met at the grocery store last weekend and you talked about your match, you seemed to be kind of worried. And today when you told me about it, you seemed to be wanting to change the topic fast. I don't want to make you uncomfortable with this, Hyo-chan, I just wanted to ask if everything's alright?«

The redhead sighed. »You sure know about my knee injury, don't you?«

»Yes«

»And how the doctor said that I will not be able to play ever again when I get injured a second time«

»Yes«

»I'm afraid. I'm afraid of getting hurt again, I'm afraid of losing everything.«

Hyo-Chan...

»I want to quit football but I can't. I just can't yet. But I can also not play the way I want to. Every minute on the field I suffer, yet I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. I used to love it so much. I still do but...«, he bit his lower lip.

»...but you hate it at the same time?«

»Yeah...!«

»You know, to me it feels like you're afraid of losing something you don't even have.«

»Huh?«

»Aren't you afraid of losing your dream? How will you achieve it if you're not determined enough to risk it all for it?«

»...«

»Sorry. That was pretty direct.«

»It's fine. Let's just not talk about it anymore. I'll think about your words.«

»Okay. I will be here to lend you and ear or a strong shoulder any time you need it. Don't ever forget what you love, Hyo-chan.«

He looked you straight in the eyes and a small smile crept upon his lips. »Thank you, (Y/N).«

»No need to thank me. You're my friend! Of course I'll help you! You just said the same, didn't you?«

The redhead laughed. »You're right!...Hey, do you want to make my hair before dinner is ready?«

»Always!«, your eyes started shining and excitedly you started braiding your friend's long red hair. You two did that often, it seemed like it was not only calming you but also calming him down. It was kind of a ritual in your friendship and something that made it even more intimate. »Your hair is beautiful«, you stated absentmindedly.

»You say that every time«, the redhead chuckled.

»Because it's true!«, you affirmed.

»Thank you!«

»I feel honoured to be allowed to touch it, no, to even braid it for you!«

»You should feel honoured. Only my sister does it from time to time.«

Just when you finished his hairstyle, your Nana shouted from the kitchen, announcing that the dinner was ready. The three of you enjoyed the food together and laughed a lot. The atmosphere was totally calm again and for the first time in weeks you had the feeling of a family dinner. Even though it was not how it was supposed to be or assumed by society, it was the best you could have ever imaged right now. Next time, you thought, Mika should be there as well. And maybe even some other people you enjoyed spending time with...

Family doesn't end in blood, I guess. I hope everyone who has parents that are barely home isn't alone at the end of the day.

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When Hyoma and your Nana had left it was already past 8 pm. You had talked a little longer than all of you had intended to, yet you didn't make a fuss about it. It was a beautiful time. One of these memories one would think about in their last moments of life.
You took a shower and prepared yourself for getting ready to defeat Choki56. Then a sudden thought occurred to you: I have yet to defeat him in the Arcade again! Guess I'll do that tomorrow!

Even though Choki and you wanted to play, you ended up chatting the whole time. You talked about nothing really, but everything at the same time. He made you laugh a lot - probably without even intending to - and you enjoyed teasing him because of his obviously affected reactions.

Somehow, you two felt just like you needed each other. Like you were the missing ingredient in each other's life potions. And whenever you tried to think about how it was before you met Choki56, the only thing you could think about was: ‚He really speed itched my life from surviving to living.'

But with speed itching there always was one major risk one had to take: When you're going really fast, one small mistake can ruin the race for you.

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𝙶𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐...