Hi bubs!:))
I honestly have no idea what to put as the song this chapter because it's quite a *mix* of emotions rjeuevevebw so yeahhh😳✋ but once you get past the first line thingy I listened to the classical song "Experience" by Ludovico Einaudi, Daniel hope, while writing it.

Anyways, enjoy!!<33

The next few days were filled with new teachers, classes, and surprisingly, new friends.

I decided to take Muggle Studies this year, and although many Slytherins think weirdly of me because of it, I quite enjoy the class. Since rarely any Slytherins took the class, and none of my friends did, it was almost a break from all the negativity and judgement of my house.

On the first day of class, I sat by a brunette boy, who seemed intimidated by my presence. Although I always tried to be intimidating to people, I really didn't mean to be in front of him, I guess the green tie gave him another idea.

"Hello," I smiled warmly at him, trying to defuse the tension. "I'm Y/n," I say, moments after I realized he still seemed scared for his life.

"N-Neville Longbottom," he spoke timidly, finally facing towards me.

His lips twitched slightly, seeming to force a weak smile onto his face. I felt bad, honestly. I searched my brain for things to say to make him relax, then it came to me.

"It's nice to finally meet you Neville. I believe we have Herbology together, you seem to have a real talent with those plants." I say, hoping it didn't seem like I was stalking him.

I watch as his stiff body, relaxes, and a sweet grin appears on his face.

"Oh um.. thank you," he responds, as his cheeks grow a shade of pink.

"Of course." I grin at him, opening my book and flipping through some of the chapter names.

Soon after our discussion, our Professor came out and started speaking. We both listened intently, the uncomfortable tension now gone. Once our Professor was finished telling everyone the homework for the week, Neville and I started packing up our bags.

"You're quite nice for a Slytherin ya know?" He says, as he stuffs some books in his bag.

"Oh... well, thank you." I respond, almost a breath of relief leaving me. I liked that I didn't scare him anymore, even if the compliment was a little strange.

"I-I could help you sometime- with herbology.. if-if you wanted." He spoke innocently, his cheeks growing pink.

"Oh I'd love that!" I grinned at him, "I can do after classes tomorrow, in the library?"

"That'd work!" He exclaims, grinning back at me.

"Great! See you then," I say, picking up my bag, waving goodbye to him.

As I walk out of the classroom, I couldn't help but grin at the plans. It was nice having friends from other houses, especially friends who were smart.

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My last class of the day was Transfigurations with Minerva Mcgonagall. I've always been pretty good at Transfigurations as it has always fascinated me. Plus, Mcgonagall's teaching, in my opinion, is actually quite interesting. I know many students who bore over the class but I feel as if they would actually listen, they might enjoy it more.

I was packing up my bag to leave, when I saw my Professor walking up to me. I didn't think I was in trouble, and I sure hoped I wasn't.

"Hello Miss Y/l/n, I've come to ask about the musical." She says, smiling sweetly at me.

She almost looked confused as I froze. That word seemed to always make my heart drop.

Musical. The thing my mother left me for.

I couldn't blame her for not knowing about my mothers leave, but it would've been nice to not talk about the musical. Or any musicals, really.

"Oh?" I mutter, not sure if my voice was strong enough to speak louder.

"Yes," she spoke again, "I was wondering if you've thought about participating in it? I've heard your mother is very talented in that industry."

Great. We've found another word that makes not only my heart stop, but also my stomach drop. Mother. I had thought about that word a lot, but it was strange hearing someone else say it, especially when they're talking about mine. My mother.

I cleared my throat, trying to distract myself from my thoughts and fast heartbeat.

"I haven't really given it much thought." I muttered once again, knowing my voice was too weak to speak normally.

"Well I suggest you do, auditions take lots of preparation." She says, almost jokingly, although I can't find it funny at this moment.

"Y-yeah," I say quietly, nodding my head. I try my hardest to fake a smile, but I can tell by her expression that it looked anything but real.

"Are you alright, Y/n?" She asks softly, so only I could hear her.

I knew those words would break me, they always did. It was always "are you okay?" Or "are you alright?" That sparked my tears. I quickly spread my lips in only god knows how fake of a smile and nod quickly at her. I let out a quick "mhm" sound before walking out the door.

As I walk through the corridors, some full of students, some empty, I fight back the urge of tears as hard as I can. I didn't want to cry over just a few words that I was stupidly sensitive about.

I knew that if I kept thinking about it, that the stinging in my eyes would only grow, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't get the mix of emotions out of my thoughts. The anger, the sadness, the confusion, all of it running through my head, as I quickly walked through the hallways.

A thin pool of liquid covered my eyesight, partially making the stinging of my dry eyes go away. I took a deep breath in, exhaling shakily, as I blinked rapidly, trying to get the tears to go away.

As I realized the extent of how bad it would be if I actually started crying right now, right here, in this corridor full of students, the tears threatening to run down my face seemed to disappear. Luckily, by the thought of all these students seeing me cry, seeing me weak, made my thoughts turn and no longer think about the conversation that happened no longer than 3 minutes ago.

I was proud of myself quite honestly. It always seemed to be hard to fight back tears, especially when they've started developing in my eyes. I guess I knew the trick now, think about something else.

I sighed in relief, finally reaching the Slytherin common room. As I walked in, I spotted Pansy, and Blaise sitting in front of the fireplace, playing a game of wizards chess. I smiled slightly before approaching them.

"Hey guys," I spoke softly, sitting down by them.

"Oh hey!" Pansy responds, a grin on her face.

I loved seeing other people smile, especially at this time, and specifically because it was a person I always enjoyed seeing happy. I couldn't help but smile back at her, being more appreciative of her at this moment then she'd probably ever know.

"Good day at school?" She asks, waiting for Blaise to make his next move.

"Yeah- yeah... good day at school." I say, almost sounding confused although that is definitely not what intended for.

I wasn't sure yet if I was going to tell her what happened later, I wasn't sure if she'd understand. I didn't let myself think about that for too long as I enjoyed the sounds and sight of Blaise raging over Pansy's win, as my best friend and I laughed at his immaturity. I needed this.

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heyyyyy;)

ahh sorry for the lowkey emotional chapter lol. I kinda just wanted to show how sensitive Y/n is the whole mother thing and how it's still pretty ✨fresh✨ in her mind. If you ever feel like she's being too sensitive and emotional please lmk I can definitely turn it down a bit if it's too much!

Also do y'all even like my little a/n's at the end of the chapters or should I just shut up?😳

anywaysss, hope y'all enjoyed the chapter! see you in the next oneeee:))