God, I felt so fucking stupid. I ran over something as small as a freaking kiss?? I was asleep, but I was awaken from a dream that was based off the events from before. I shoved my face roughly into a pillow. I growled at myself. I was so mad at myself. So, so mad. How could I be such an idiot?! I kept thinking about the question, even going to the message on my phone. Why did you kiss back? Why did I? Why so instantly..?

I silently cursed myself as I pulled my knees into my hoodie. It had started raining while I was waiting for the bus, so my hair was kinda wet from it still. I looked out the rain spattered window and sighed. I slid my hood on and rested my head on my covered knees. I picked up my phone and opened Wilbur's contact. My thumb hovered over the keyboard. I hesitantly began typing. Eventually I had it typed out and began contemplating sending it.

I quickly tapped the send button and turned off the phone, tossing it to the side -practically throwing it across the room-. I fell back on the couch and groaned. I rested my arm on my forehead and closed my eyes.

"(Y/n).. you alright?" Phil spoke, sitting beside me.

I shot up, opening my eyes, "Jesus Christ, Phil! You scared me..!" I rubbed my eyes softly and adjusted my sitting position.

"Sorry, Kid." He smiled softly. "You alright? What even happened, you never said."

"I didn't..? Oh." I looked to my phone, which was halfway across the room on the floor.

"Something happened with Wilbur... I don't really wanna talk about it." I looked down.

Phil sighed and rubbed my back comfortingly, "It's okay, mate. You don't have to tell me, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm right here." He smiled softly and pat my head before standing back up and leaving to his room.

Not long after he left, my phone went off.

Shit.

I slid off of the couch and picked up my phone, sitting down on the floor. I turned on my phone and unlocked it. He had responded to the text I left.

>  Because I was scared to love you, Wilbur.

Wilbur
>  Please, come back. You don't have to give me another chance but just come back so I don't have to worry.

I paused. Did he care? Could I trust it wasn't just an act? Maybe... Maybe. I sighed. I hated how much I wanted to kiss him again. And let alone just be held by him. Just once again. I finally came to a conclusion. I would go back, but I would get some advice from Phil first. After all, he is married.

>  I'll come back, not tomorrow though.

I stood up silently. I set my phone on the coffee table as I passed it and sat on the couch. I curled up in the blanket Phil had brought me and laid down, closing my tired, heavy eyes. I tried to sleep. But seconds seemed like hours... And minutes... They felt like days. I couldn't stand this. Eventually my racing mind calmed and I ended up getting some sleep.

☁︎   ☁︎          ☁︎☁︎    ☁︎☼︎  ☁︎   ☁︎
☁︎☁︎   ᯾Time skip᯾>~~✈︎   ☁︎
☁︎    ☁︎☁︎   ☁︎     ☁︎ ☁︎     ☁︎    ☁︎

I woke up at around 9:30 the next morning. Which had honestly surprised me. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep that much. I sat up silently and rubbed my eyes. I looked around and it took me a second to remember where I was. And what had happened the night prior. I groaned and walked to the kitchen, expecting to see Phil, but instead was greeted by a small note on the counter.

"(Y/N),                                                           
Good morning! I suspect if you are reading this I am not quite back yet. I went out to do a few things. I should be back around 11-12. Stay safe, get something to eat, and please drink some water.

With love,
          Phil"

I smiled softly. He was always so kind when it came to caring for others. I ended up just eating a toasted bagel with butter on it. That's all I could eat really. I went back to the living room and debated on taking a shower before Phil got back. That was until I realized I forgot to bring a change of clothes.

"Damn it." I hissed.

I then noticed a pair of clothes with another note on the table. How did I just walk past this earlier?? I strode over to the clothing and picked up the note.

"I noticed you didn't bring a           change of clothes so I grabbed a      pair of shorts and a Shirt for you.

~Phil"

I smiled. He was definitely the father figure in my life right now. Believe it or not I had actually met him before I met Wilbur. We had streamed together quite a few times as well. And he was always there when my family was being a piece of shit towards me. You know, it's pretty sad when people you meet on the internet are more loving and accepting than your own family.

I picked up the shirt and shorts and headed towards the bathroom. I turned the water on and undressed before stepping in. The warm water hit my back and I let out a soft sigh. Water was always therapeutic for me. I always loved a good bath or shower, especially after a rough day.

After I finished washing myself I got out and got dressed. Phil had lended me one of his shirts and a pair of sports-shorts that could tighten around the waist. The shirt was big on me, the cause being the height difference between me and Phil, and the shorts only needed to be tightened a little.

I dried my hair the best I could with the towel and went back to the living room. Once I sat down I decided to look through Twitter. A lot of (Y/n)Bur showed up, which was frustrating as hell. I turned my phone to Wattpad and decided to just read until Phil got home.

Somehow... I ended up looking through the (Y/n)Bur fanfics. I ended up choosing one and reading it as well. Which may have been a mistake I wasn't sure. I began reading, unsure of what was further into it.

    ：ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
     ﾟ。Later that evening
      　ﾟ･｡･

Wilbur had (y/n) pinned against the wall, deep in a kiss. Wilbur broke away first, making (y/n)...

"(Y/n)?" Phil asked concerned, "you alright mate, your face is red?"

"P-phil!" I jumped and smiled awkwardly, "yeah I'm fine... When did you get back?."

"Just now. Oh uh, you're alright with that outfit right? I wasn't sure if-"

"Yeah, it's cool. I like it, it's comfy." I gave a genuine smile after swiftly closing Wattpad.

"Okay, want some lunch?" Phil took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack before looking back at me.

"No, I'm not hungry. But I actually need to talk to you... Well more or less just me needing your help." I looked down, focusing on my, now figitting, hands.

"Of course mate! What is it?" Phil smiled and sat beside me, gently rubbing my back comfortingly, knowing I needed it at the moment.

I looked at him, "How do I know if I'm in love..?"

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☁︎☁︎   ᯾1,256 words᯾>~~✈︎   ☁︎
☁︎    ☁︎☁︎   ☁︎     ☁︎ ☁︎     ☁︎    ☁︎

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