A/n: dramas about to hit. I've been going through it lmao but I do hope you enjoy.

With Alex staying with us, most of my time was spent with her and Leo. Leo and Alex sat down and talk about Alex's pronouns and Leo took it very well. He was such a gentleman about it. He'd known Alex for the same amount of time as he'd known me so, of course, sometimes he'd slip up but he always corrected himself. He was trying and that's what mattered. He would get it eventually.

Leo and I had been a thing for about a week now. We haven't really mentioned anything about calling it official though. I mean everyone knew we were something. He just wasn't exactly my boyfriend and I wasn't exactly his girlfriend. He was mine and I was his though. If that makes any sense.

We still hadn't kissed. I think we were both fairly nervous. We would have split moments where we'd seem as though we were about to and than something would always interrupt. My parents also knew about Leo and I. So did his parents. They called us a couple.

I wanted so badly to be able to call him my boyfriend. I knew he liked me but the thing is I didn't just like him. I loved him. Does he love me back?

He told me the night in the bathroom that he confessed everything taht he had feelings. Were those feelings love? Leo had never said the words "I love you" before in his life. I don't even think he'd said them to Sarah and they were together for a good many months. He was this way because of his parents. He was stuck wondering 24/7 what live really was. And I was hoping I could show him.

"What do you want, y/n?" Alex broke me out of my thoughts from the back seat of Leos car. We were pulled into a drive through getting something to eat before heading to a drive in.
"Nothing, actually." I look back at Alex and than Leo.

We got the food from the window, paid, and left for the drive in. This was Leos idea. Alex offered to sit outside of the car on a chair and watch so we could kind of have some privacy. Not that we really needed it.

We were seated in the back seat, both of us looking forward through the front window as Alex sat outside of the car, mesmerized by the screen. Alex still hadn't told her boyfriend about her gender. She was nervous because her boyfriend was strictly gay. She'd been avoiding him instead of consulting him. I'd tried to tell her I'd talk to him with her but she brushed it off and changed the topic every time.

I was lost in my thoughts when I felt Leo place an arm around me. I looked at him and smiled a bit. He began to stare into my eyes and I couldn't help but lean in. But I was met by his hand on my mouth.

I pulled back and furrowed my brows at him.
"There's something I need to talk to you about." He looked down at his hands which he'd placed on his lap.
"What's up?" I bit at my lip anxiously.
"Sarah and I talked last night." His eyes met mine.
I didn't say a word. I just stared at him.
"She wants to work things out. She said she's changed." He studied my face nervously.

"Are you serious right now?" I scoffed and blinked trying to keep tears back, "Leo, what the fuck?"
"Well, we're not even together, y/n. You haven't told me how you've felt in like a month. I've been left here wondering what we are." He tried to defend himself.
"And you think I haven't? Leo, all I've wanted is to call you my boyfriend. That's all I've wanted." I looked away from him as tears fell down my cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I could feel him staring at me.
"Was my affection not enough to tell you that I fucking love you?" I blurted out, "I can't do this with you right now Leo. I'm going home." I got out of the car with so many things running through my mind.

Alex immediately looked at me and saw the tears.
"What happened?" She stood up and hugged me.
"We need to go." I cried onto her shoulder.
"I'll call your mom, okay? We'll talk about it when we get back." She pulled back from me and pulled out her phone.
~~~
I threw myself onto my bed and looked at my ceiling.
"What happened?" Alex sat next to me.
"Leos getting back together with Sarah?" I looked at her with tears in my eyes again.

"Really? After this past week? I thought you two were like a thing." She seemed just as confused as I was.
"I thought so too." I shrugged as tears streamed down my cheeks and my gaze went back to the ceiling.
~~~
⚠️TW: alcohol⚠️
I fell into an episode after that night. Alex had taken me out for a drink the night after and that's when it really started. It felt so good having the alcohol in my system. Like I could forget about everything for just even a moment. Like nothing really mattered.

Every day for the next week I'd drank almost all day. I didn't go to school. I didn't leave unless it was to get more alcohol.
"You have a problem." Alex sat down on my bedroom floor next to me. I was leaned against my bed with yet another drink in my hand.

"I don't have a problem." I gave her the dirty looks.
"Yes, you do." She removed the drink from my hand and set it on my night stand.

Leos POV:
Im so stupid. Is exactly what had crossed my mind everyday I'd walk into math class and see her seat empty. I don't know why I did what I did. I truly don't. I have this issue with saying no to people. I did love y/n. I did. And I loved what we had going on. I just wanted to know if she was okay. I hadn't heard from her parents either. They must have been so fucking pissed at me. I understand why.

I tried to call her and text her a few times but I never got an answer. I didn't just want to show up to her house uninvited but I really had no choice anymore. Part of me felt like I should have just left her alone but I could bare not knowing if she was alright or not.

Readers POV:
"I know you love him. And I know how long you've waited for what you two had. But you can't dwell on shit like this, y/n. Life's too short for this bullshit. You're a god damn mess." Alex took my hand gently.
"He's not just some boy though, Alex. He's Leo." I felt tears forming again. I hadn't talked about what happened since the night it all took place. I wanted to just forget about it. But how could I?

Alex and I both jumped when we heard a knock at the window.
"Fuck. That's probably him." I started to panic.
"Okay, calm down. I'll just go tell him you can't talk right now." She stood up and I grabbed her hand.
"No, I can do this." I stood up stumbling a bit.

"I know this is a bad idea but I also know you're stubborn as shit, so I'll be downstairs. Please come down if you need anything. Literally anything." She sighed and walked out of my room.
I slowly approached my window and moved the curtains to see Leo. God he was so handsome.

I wanted to hate him. I just couldn't. I opened the window for him.
"Jesus, y/n, you're a mess." Leo scanned my face as he climbed into my window.
"I am not. Im great, actually. Im perfect." I crossed my arms. Everything was wobbly.
"Are you drunk?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Nope. Sober as can be." I smiled a big, fake ass smile at him.
I felt him hand go to my cheek and I quickly moved it, "I might have a trace amount of alcohol in my system but I will not fall into your game again, Leo." I snapped.

"Im sorry." He frowned, looking at me with those gorgeous blue eyes of his.
"Sorry isn't gonna cut it this time." I ran a hand through my hair, "do you realize how bad you've hurt me? Do you realize how fucking awful it feels to think you've got the one thing you've waited for for so long and than get it taken away by some evil bitch in seconds?" I felt tears forming in my eyes, "get out." I looked at him as tears fell.

"Please let me explain." He seemed upset and my heart ached for him.
"I'm serious Leo. I cannot do this right now." I covered my face with my hands.
"Then when can you?" He started to raise his voice, "because I'm not going to sit around forever wondering if you're okay twenty four seven or wondering if the only girl I've ever truly had any sort of feeling towards still even gives a shit."

"Then don't." I replied blankly taking my hands from my face.
"I know I fucked up, I do. And I'm so fucking sorry. I wanted to be with you. I just didn't know if that's what you wanted too. And I still want to be with you, y/n. If you would just allow me to talk this through with you." He stared directly at my eyes.

"I need you to leave, Leo." I shook my head at him. "I will come back to this soon. Just please go."
He didn't say anything else before we went back out the way he came. Almost as instantly as I knew he was gone I collapsed onto my bed and everything just poured out.

A/n: ik this chapters kinda crazy but I was so bored when I wrote it