The day had gone by slow and boring, just as usual. Tweek and Craig were both able to get away with being late and the rest of the boys' classes went fine. Now the school day was done and the five of them were on their way to Craig's house.

"Stop laughing, I'm genuinely confused!" Clyde protested to his friends.

Token was nearly in tears from how hard he was laughing, but he tried to pull it together to keep from hurting Clyde's feelings. "I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"

"What the actual fuck is oatmeal? Like, it's this bland, squishy substance that you put honey and raisins on and it tastes like shit. What is it?"

"I can't tell if you're being serious, and I'm kinda concerned," Craig said. Clyde stared at him, dead in the eyes, with a look that definitely meant he was serious. "Clyde, that's like asking what applesauce is." Clyde gave him a blank stare.

Token and Craig burst out laughing, not able to reserve it any longer.

"You don't know what applesauce is?!" Tweek exclaimed.

Clyde put up his hands defensively. "Hey, we're talking about oatmeal and oatmeal only. We'll get on the topic of applesauce later."

"I c-can't with you, Clyde. You're so f-fuh-f-fucking dumb it's unbelievable," Jimmy sighed.

Token shot him a look. "Be nice, Jimmy. He isn't d- well, okay, he isn't that dumb. But still, just because he doesn't know something doesn't make him any more or less stupid, alright?"

"Clyde," Tweek began, trying hard as he could not to laugh. "Oatmeal... oatmeal is like... Hm, actually, what is oatmeal? Craig?"

Craig laughed even harder. "Oatmeal is literally just cooked, ground-up oats, dude. That's like, all it is. I like to add cinnamon when I make it, but other than that, that's literally all oatmeal is. Put 'em in a pot of water, put it on the stove, boil 'em till they're kinda mushy and all the water is gone and voila, you've got yourself some oatmeal."

"Thank you for the cooking lesson, Craig," Tweek giggled. "Now, Clyde, applesauce is apples mushed up into... well, into a sauce-like substance. That's all it is. Are you less confused now?"

Clyde nodded and folded his arms. "Yes, but I don't understand why you guys had to laugh so hard. It wasn't that funny."

"Y-y-yeah it was," Jimmy chuckled.

"Okay, that's enough you two," Token stepped in. "We're almost to Craig's. There's no use in arguing over something unimportant. Someone's gonna end up saying the wrong thing and hurting the other's feelings, so we need to stop now."

"'K mom," Jimmy said.

"Sorry, mom," Clyde said. 

Token chuckled and rolled his eyes at the two. He always got a kick out of the boys calling him "mom"; being the mom friend was fun.

The five walked up to Craig's house's front steps and into the house. They made a beeline for Craig's room, waving to his mom and sister on their way up the stairs. Clyde blew Stripe a kiss before sitting down on Craig's bed.

Craig gave him a look. "Quit flirting with my guinea pig," He said to Clyde.

"I wasn't flirting with him, I was greeting him!" Clyde protested.

Craig rolled his eyes. "God, Clyde, it was a joke. No need to get so defensive about it, you oversensitive baby."

Clyde visibly pouted at Craig's description of him. Craig caught sight of Clyde's dolefulness and flipped him the finger with a smirk.

"I'm hungry," Jimmy declared. "W-whatcha got to offer, Craig?"

Craig rolled his eyes yet again. "Dude, we literally just got here. I got nothin'. We could order takeout, but I'm not paying."

"Stop saying 'literally', Craig," Tweek said.

Token let out a deep sigh. "I'll order us some pizzas," he said. He turned on his phone and looked at Clyde. "Clyde, what's Domino's number?"

Clyde looked over to him. "303-377-5858," he answered without hesitation.

Craig started laughing. "Dude, you've got it memorized?"

"Yeah." Clyde blushed slightly and looked down at his own phone. "What are we gonna do, anyway? Just like, hang out and talk?"

Craig shrugged. "I dunno, man. I thought I'd've come up with something by now."

Clyde thought for a moment about what to do, then something came to him. "I know!" He announced, catching everyone's attention. "Let's do a dare game!"

"A dare game, ey?" Craig raised an eyebrow at Clyde. "Okay then."

"Great," Clyde said. "I'll go first: Craig, I dare you to kiss Stripe."

"Clyde, that's not-"

"On the lips."

"Oh..." Craig shifted his gaze over to Stripe #6, who was having a drink of water in his little cage. "Okay, fine, I'll do it." He stepped off the bed and made his way over to Stripe. He unlatched the cage and lifted Stripe up gently. He brought the animal up to his face, preparing to give him a small peck on the mouth. He puckered up and brought Stripe closer, closing his eyes gently for a better effect.

"Uh-oh, Stripe's s-s-stealing your man, Tweek," Jimmy said.

Craig looked over at them, his eyes popping open. "Huh? What d- ow!" He shouted and nearly dropped Stripe. "God damnit," He mumbled and stuck Stripe back in his cage, latching the door behind him. He brought a hand up to his mouth and turned around, muttering profanities under his breath.

"What happened?" Tweek asked, jumping slightly at the sound of Craig's shout.

"He fucking bit me!" Craig glared at Clyde. "'A dare game', God, What a great idea you had there, Clyde. Now my lip is bleeding." He walked to his dresser and grabbed a tissue from on top of it, then pressed it to his bloody mouth. Clyde was looking down at his feet in guilt.

"Ooh, he got you good, didn't he?" Tweek winced a bit. He was a tad sensitive to the sight of blood.

"Ugh, damn right." Craig scoffed and tossed the crimson-stained cloth into his bedside garbage can. He brought his finger up to his lip and touched where Stripe had bitten, the skin around the opening felt a little swelled. "I'll be right back, I'm going to wash this. Guinea pig mouths are fucking disgusting, I wouldn't want to get an infection." He then walked out of the room, leaving a worried Tweek, a guilty Clyde with unshed tears pooling in his eyes, a slightly concerned Token, and a hungry Jimmy not giving any fucks because he just wanted a goddamn pizza.

"-Ngh!- will he be okay?" Tweek asked to no one specific.

"Who c-cares," Jimmy spoke. "When's that d-d-damn pizza getting here?"

Token turned to Jimmy, ignoring Tweek's question. "Probably in like fifteen minutes or so. Then again, I ordered from Denver, so it may take a little while."

"D-Denver?! Why the h-h-hell did you order from D-Denver?"

"Because there isn't a Domino's in South Park, and the pizza shops we do have totally suck."

"G-good point."

At that moment Craig walked back into the room with a damp towel in hand, his lip no longer bleeding. He tossed the towel in the corner next to his bedroom door and took a seat next to Clyde on the bed, muttering something under his breath.

"Okay, Clyde's idea sucked," He said. "Does anyone else know what we should do?"

"We can sit in silence and wait for that g-goddamn pizza," Jimmy retorted.

Craig rolled his eyes. "Jimmy, shut up." He sighed and pulled out his phone, giving up on getting a good suggestion. The other four did the same, and that's how they stayed for the next half hour. So it turns out that they did go with Jimmy's idea after all.

After a good thirty minutes, there was a knock at the Tucker's front door, followed by Craig's mom shouting up the stairs.

"Boys, I believe that's for you!" She called.

Token sighed and set his phone down, then rose from his seat. "I'll be right back," He told the others and went downstairs, returning three minutes later with two large cheese pizzas in hand.

"F-fucking finally," Jimmy said.

Craig grinned at the pizza boxes, but stopped quickly and winced at the pain of stretching his bitten lip. "Sweet. Set them on my dresser."

Token did so and opened the box on top, scenting the room with the delicious smell of pizza. The dresser just so happened to be right next to where Clyde was seated on the bed. He stared at the box, he was starving, it was an open invitation. Self-control, Clyde, He thought, licking his lips. He eyed the pizza still though, not able to look away. Self-control...

Jimmy and Craig each grabbed themselves a slice, their actions followed politely by Token and Tweek. Clyde was the only one left without a slice, but the others were too caught up their food to notice. Lucky them, He thought as he stared at Jimmy and Tweek. They're so fucking fortunate, with their naturally skinny figures. God, what I wouldn't give to look like Tweek for a day.  He took a deep breath and looked back down at his phone, an attempt to distract himself from the heavenly aroma and sound of chewing. Part of him desperately wanted to enjoy a piece himself, but another part of him felt a strong sense of pride at how well he was doing controlling his appetite.

Token was around halfway done with his slice before he noticed Clyde hadn't gotten any yet. "Hey, Clyde, aren't ya gonna have any?" He asked, gesturing to the box.

Clyde looked between Token and the box, then back down at his phone. "I'm not hungry," He muttered.

Token stared at him with a surprised gaze. Clyde would never, never turn down pizza. Red flag number four. He thought about the other three he had noticed, putting them into further detail. Something in his brain clicked. Something was wrong, very wrong. Who is that brunet boy sitting with his phone and what did he do with Clyde? Nothing Clyde had said or done recently was anything like him at all (Other than the oatmeal confusion).  Okay, so Token realized one thing: Something's wrong with Clyde. But the biggest question still lingered: What is it?

Author's note:

EeeEEE A new chapter :0

This chapter honestly dragged and I apologize, I've had no inspiration or long to write recently, so I just wanted to get this damn chapter out there and be done with it. All in all, this was really shittily (Is that a word?) done and it's literally them talking about pizza for half the story and I hate it. Also the beginning sucks ass dude istg I'm basically brain dead at this point. no clue how to do creative plx send help

Thanks so much for reading! <3