Was I dead? Or was I alive? 

Where am I? 

The questions kept coming.

I could feel pain from various parts of my body. Why is that? I heard voices...they were near, but somehow far away from me...

Why couldn't I open my eyes?!? My head...Ow...Wha-What happened to me??? 

Someone!!! Please help me?!? Am I going crazy?!? 

I remember darkness caging me in in my head...rolling down a hill...silence...then pain erupted everywhere in my body... 

I ask myself again. Where am I?

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(The Italics is her speaking but in her mind because to them she is unconscious, but she really isn't she's just having a hard time getting to open her eyes and her mind.)

I heard shuffling around me and the slapping of clothes against clothes. If that makes sense!

Then I heard voices.

"Shadowfax, you do realize what we got in our hands right now do you?And who this girl is to you?" someone said in anger.

"Yes...unfortunately I do and stop slamming it back in my face of who it is! And what did you expect me to do lay her there to die!! I can't...who knows how much she heard." Shadow said in a restrained voice.

"Fuck now what are we gonna do! She practically broke every bone in her body in that fall, but we can't rush her to the hospital because they'll be suspicious!! And we have enough trouble as it is with the cops!" said another voice. This one seemed familiar. I think it's Ash. I'm in soo much trouble...

" Wel,l right now, nothing until she wakes up. If she is anyway, since she received a big blow on her head and she broke her wrist. And whatever else she damaged!" I think that was Aiden because it still held that innocence to it. 

I spaced out from their conversation after that. They were just a blur of words right now. I had to focus on getting back. I concentrated on making my eyes open first. At first it was useless, but then I felt a sense of energy go across my eyelids making it feel like I just received an electric shock. Then the next thing I know my eyelids were fluttering against my cheeks, focusing on getting them opened. It took moment to do that, when I did it took another moment to get used to the light in the middle of the room. I squinted around me, trying to find out where I was. Curious, but with fear.

Then I heard gasps around me, but I didn't know from who, my vision wasn't responding so well...

"Shadowfax, she's waking up! What now?" said Aiden.

"Well, first we have to see if she's alright since she's not gonna like the pain she'll receive when she's fully awake since she seems kinda sleepy and confused. Then I'll figure out the rest." Shadow said. My vision was cleared enough to see them surround me in a circle, but they looked like blurry, black figures.

"I think you should talk to her since you know her and we'll keep TJ away from her." Ash added helpfully. Since I knew Shadow was the tallest one of the group I could see he nodded in agreement. His nod was sharp, restrained, and worried.

I watched as the others started leaving, half patting Shadow in the back, and the others I didn't know their names, giving him hard looks. I took a deep breath as they left and fully opened my eyes.

There was total silence then I heard the shuffling of footsteps coming toward me. I craned my neck to me side. A gasp left my lips when I found Shadow's face inches away from me, my heart started accelerated at his closeness. Instantly, Shadow drew away from me at my response. I felt annoyance at that. I wanted him near me. 

I looked at Shadow's face and then a flash of memories flashed through my mind: I was at a party with my friends...then me walking through the woods looking for him...their conversation...running in fear...being caught...rolling down the hill nonstop...silence... then pain erupted everywhere.

I sat upright in fear and he stepped away for a bit in surprise.

He raised his hands in front of him, wanting me to know that he won't cause me harm in anyway...not yet anyway. I relaxed for a bit and then risked a glance at what was I was sitting on. It was a small bed and a blanket was added there for me. I tried standing up, but that caused me pain so I layed there sitted.

"You shouldn't move it will only cause you pain." Shadow hesitated. His hands layed at his sides, clenched into fists, not in anger, but in frustration. 

"Arielle, do you remember what happened in the forest a few hours ago?" I looked at him uneasily and then nodded. Sadly and painfully I did.

"Okay then. Arielle you can speak to me I won't hurt you since your already in pain as it is and you can trust me, you know." This wasn't the Shadowfax. The Shadowfax I knew was cocky and very thoughtful, this one was concerned and hesitant. Why? 

Now I spoke up. "How can I know that you won't hurt me since I just found out a lot of things about you, Shadow." The last part just slipped.

Shadow smirked. "That is a good point, but I don't want to hurt you, Arielle, it will be inconvenient. Also, you have to tell me how did you find me and how much you heard in our conversation to know how to handle this." I swallowed hard. I knew I had no choice.

"Well, I saw you hiding in the shadows of the trees because of your eyes and I knew it was stupid to follow you especially in the dark when anything can happen, but I did and now I wish I hadn't. I only heard about that car chase with the cops and about your friend Sebastian. That's all. Honest." I bit my lip guiltily and looked up at him.

Shadow was deep in thought I could tell by the way his eyebrows were set. He finally spoke for awhile.

"Well, first of all it was stupid for you to follow me, but it's half my fault too because I checked up on you at the party and made you curious at my being there. Secondly, even if you didn't hear all of our conversation that doesn't help you that much. Sadly." Shadow's word caused a shiver to go through me.

"But you know you have to tell me because you can't leave me with questions about your friend Sebastian murdering people and the cops supposedly chasing after you, you know?" That's not how the rules played here and he knew that. 

 Shadow sighed. "Yes I know I have to tell you, but not everything because even if I tell you it's still my business not yours. Also, do you really want to know because I can also let you go, but now that you have questions about this I'm afraid you'll tell the cops and you'll tell them the wrong story since I haven't tell you my side of the story. So do you?" Shadow was leaning over me, his eyes smoldering.

I averted my eyes and thought about it for a second. Did I? He was kind enough to give me options, but I wanted to know because I cared about him in a way I didn't understand, even though I had no right to know this. So that was my choice. I wonder if that was the reason he put a brick wall on communicating with everyone on school, except me, he was willing to interact with me, of all the students in school I was chosen.

I looked up at him and said," Yes, I want to know and I won't tell anyone because your right this isn't any of my business, but I want to know because I care of what your going through. Also, I'm not a snitch if that helps." I stared at him with questionable eyes. He met my gaze with desperation and decision. He trusted me and he wanted to know why, but he found something in me that wouldn't spill out his secret. I learned that by just looking into those deep eyes of his. That color blue was just mesmerizing.

Shadow sat next to me on the little bed. A sign of surrender. Before I would let him begin I had to ask some questions I was dying to ask him.

"Can I ask you some questions first though?" Shadow looked at me with curiosity with his eyebrows raised, but nodded.

"First where am I? What happened to my friends because they will freak out if they found out I wan't at the party anymore! How long have I've been here? How come I can't feel much of the pain I had when I landed on that broken tree trunk? And shouldn't I be at a hospital? Lastly, what happened to TJ?" I said all of this without breathing in other words I said it in a rush without breathing.

Shadow smirked and clicked his tongue against his cheek. "Repeat that again because that was a handful of a list you got there!" I smacked his thigh, which made him laugh and earned me his 'I'm just kidding look' . 

Shadow pondered over my questions by raising an eyebrow, then said,"You're actually in a small cabin. Well, to be more exact my cabin; its in the woods near of where I actually live with my mother. My mom let me keep it." He shrugged.

"Aiden took care of your friends, so no worries, and well, hopefully you saw the gentle kindess in him. He told them that you told him that you had to go home to take care of your sister since her friend's sleepover was cancelled or something like that. He also added for them not to leave because of you, that you wanted them to enjoy it. Aiden is persuasive when he wants to be so. You've been here for more than an hour actually, but somehow it feels like hours. We gave you painkillers to ease of some of the pain, but they're gonna wear off soon so we'll take you to the hospital very soon. Don't worry about TJ; he's pretty tough and he's in better shape than you. He calmed down because I knew you, but he's still pissed. But whatever ignore him, he's not really into the whole of me telling you. Is that all?"  I went over of what he said and his answers seemed agreeable to me so I nodded yes.

Shadow cracked his knuckles and then he sitted himself in a better position which brought him closer to me. I moved a little from my stiff position in the bed. 

Shadow took a deep breath and then looked over me.

"Okay, then where should I begin... Hmm...well let's begin at the beginning shall we. Sebastian was my best friend since I was a pretty little guy. Since his mom was a close family friend with my mom, that's how we met. By them. At the age of 12 years-old, I started dressing up like this because I like it not because of any another reason and at that age too, I started to fight back in gang fights because of what I was. I met Aiden, and Ash two years later, Ash introduced me to TJ and some other guys. Anyway, at 14, I was fighting and gambling became it came naturally to me and my other friends. I didn't know that Sebastian was jealous of me for everything I was getting like how I was respected at school, girls were coming here and there, I won fights, and more. He had a sister...--" He abruptly stopped there and looked at me like he just realized I was there. There was so much pain in his eyes that was unbearable and a lot of regret. I slipped my hand into him and squeezed it gently. I was encouraging him. 

Shadow swallowed and then narrowed his eyes with determination. "Sebastian had a sister I used to date. She was a normal, typical girl that had an interesting sense of humor. We dated for almost two years actually. One night we were going to go watch a street race in a not very much used street with all the guys. I was in a car with Sebastian and...she came along the ride. I had to bend over because I dropped my cell because I was waiting for an important call. While I did that, I didn't see that this very deep ditch was dug in the ground beside the street. I accidentally steered the car over there and we ended almost getting buried there. Somehow the car went flying and it ended up in it's side in the ditch. Chaos and pain erupted everywhere after that. I heard her scream through all of it and then she stopped. Sebastian was unconscious because he hit head in the window and broke his leg. I was alright I just had some not-so serious injuries, but I barely cared how I was. I just wanted to see how she was since she wasn't moving around or anything. I headed toward her because she wasn't actually next to me in the front seat like I thought she was and I was actually almost thrown away in the car since I wasn't wearing a seat belt. When I reached her--" Shadow chocked on a sob after that and then quickly regained himself.

"She was already dead when I reached her, she looked horrible, all scratched up and burned. Somehow, I could see half her skull from the hole in her head and she was bleeding to death. I couldn't so anything for her now I could only get her brother out of there to save his life, but with her of course before the car exploded in pieces. So that's what I did I gently grabbed Sebastian under the arms and quickly took him away from the car. I laid him a good feet away from the car and then I ran toward her. I didn't have much time, but it took awhile to get her untangled and to be extra careful with her even if she was...unfortunately dead. After I got her away, I could hear sirens in the air with the rush of tires heading our way then I saw them, the cops and the ambulance, but before they could reach us the car exploded in fire and ash came down on us. They reached us after the fire calmed down when the fire fighters cooled it down with water. They took us away since they thought I was gonna have a concussion from one of my injuries so I couldn't answer the questions the cops were throwing at me."

"The whole week was depressing after that especially when Sebastian's family had to prepare a funeral for her. It wasn't the same after a few months passed, there was just tension between me and Sebastian that I couldn't fix. He turned his back at me because he thinks I killed his sister and...maybe I did. I think that's one of the reasons he's after me because I knew how much she meant to him. Or maybe there's more to it. That was two years ago and now... he's throwing everything he's got at me by giving me away to the cops like putting robbed cocaine in my car and other things you shouldn't know about. But it's not working, but somehow one of these days I won't get lucky. Like when he shot to death two of my close friends." Shadow shook his head sadly at that. It hurted me how much this guy was hurting him because not everything was Shadow's fault but then again I don't know everything. I wasn't with them when all of that happened. 

"Anyway, it's been pretty tough years, but none are giving up because I'm getting older and I'm looking at everything I'm doing in a thoughtful way even though some of them had to be quick and kind of reckless. Like they say, 'Desperate times call for desperate measures' it seems to fit. Even if they're regretting. I'm gonna stop here since I don't want you get all pitying and sad about me 'cause I'm alright. Come on, I've been doing this for like six years now  and I have found my ways through it." Shadow smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. 

For the first time since he told me half his story I spoke,"What happens when you get trapped in this, now what would you do? 'Cause it seems to me like Sebastian won't stop until your behind bars or worse...dead. Now what? You can't let him ruin your life in like 10 more years!" Tears started creating in my eyes, making my vision blurry. I swallowed a lump in my throat. 

Shadow had a fierce expression in his face that made me think over of what I said. I was just telling him his future if he let this go to far. I didn't want this for him, you could just tell how I was getting attached to this human being. 

Shadow suddenly leaned over me and spoke with such emotion in my ear,"I know that. There are always portals to use for escape, but I'm growing stronger and I have friends that have always had my back. They're not my followers, they're my true friends because they wouldn't have protected me all these years just because of one person, who has a lot of venom in him to spread out. If the cops chased me down they would go with me, they have told me themselves, they would leave everything behind them because of me. But they can't do that forever they have choices too and one of them is for them to let me handle this because it's mostly my deal even if Ash has venom toward Sebastian and had to deal with this too more than the others. So you see there is no need for you to be wasting your energy in me it will only get you hurt. Don't get yourself attached to me." He looked up at me with a expression I couldn't explain because it wasn't  an emotion I was aware of at all. It was just dark and determined. Like life or death...

Shadow... I'm already attached to you...it's probably too late. I didn't say this out loud or he will yell at me for this and regret this connection between us.

I asked a question I wanted to so much to use.

"What was her name? Um, Sebastian's sister?" I whispered softly. Shadow looked away then looked down at his clenched fists that slowly started to unclench. 

He whispered it so softly that I barely caught it.

"Nora" He spoke with a finality to it.

Then something so shocking happened after that. I felt a searing pain in my side then in my head. That when I started screaming. Bad timing in such a touchy scene we were having.

Shadow looked at with shock etched in his face. After a second of watching me bend over my waist with my hand in my side he understood.

Shadow yelled for the others while he gently and cautiously picked me up in his arms and tucked my head under his chin. I gasped out when I received another blow of pain in my head this time. I was also shocked at how easily he didn't flinch when our bodies touched. A flash of warm went through my cheeks. Then I heard the door slam open and the others came running in. I barely heard what they were saying it was just a rush of words connecting in my ears.

"What's happening?!?" 

"Dude, it's so obvious what's going on the painkillers are fading; she's feeling everything now!" I totally knew that was Ash.

"Damn you, TJ! We gotta get her to a hospital!" A new voice.

"The chick was expecting that when she was eavesdropping on us so shut it!" I cringed. TJ.

"All of you shut up and get in the damn car before it gets more serious that it is! Dammit!" Shadow...

"Wait-- Aiden can you hold her while I wrap this blanket around her and carry her to the car?" 

I felt hesitation after that.

"Yeah, sure."

I could feel the difference when I was handed down to Aiden. And oh, yeahh, I was still whimpering in pain.

Then I felt the softness of a blanket gently wrapped around me. Then we were out the door.

I was placed in the back seat with Shadow and Aiden beside me with my head layed on Shadow's lap. Ash was driving while TJ was fuming. Shadow snapped for him to cut it out. I guess we arrived at the hospital quickly since I smelled the odor of medicine and mint in the air. All of this went in a blur that I was able to catch some of this. I don't know what happened when Shadow rushed me with the nurse beside him to a room. I just blacked out after that. It was lights out for me...

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Yeah! Oh wait let me write normal...There! So yeah this took me quite a lot of days and a lot of mind to put in since Shadow's secret is revealed well half of it anyway. I hope you guys like it like I did writing it. Even if some parts were depressing. This is an EARLY MERRY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU GUYS since I won't be able to write for almost the whole week because of the holidays and the new year's rounding around the corner. So comment, vote, and be a