After allowing myself to be well distracted by Theo, I lay there with him a little longer and we let ourselves divulge in our little escape from reality. We both rest on our sides, face-to-face, his hand on my hip as he freely glides his thumb over the dips in my contours or  thighs that drives me insane each time I see them in a mirror. It seems so silly, being so insecure about this little area of skin when clearly it means little to him and yet I'm conditioned to think so. I envy how he can look at it without thinking that about how it's not perfect like all the others you see on social media, or how it will show through a fitted dress. 

To distract myself, I run my fingers run across the skin of his lower ribs, tracing the words which span across the area in a small cursive font. Yes, I had seen Theo shirtless on numerous occasions by now, but I've never been in this position where I was able to stop for a moment and truly take in the sight. We were always moving through things so chaotically so I've never had the chance.

I think back to when I had once snuck a glance of him at work getting dressed for his photoshoot. I had noticed the tattoo but only barely as it was a blur from where I had stood and with the curtain between us. 

Even then I had already begun denying my attraction to him and now, after having given into the physical attraction, it seems I have only just succumb to the attraction that would exist on so many other levels. To think how far we had come from that moment. That girl from months ago, who was completely naive to the whirlwind of things that could happen in such a short period of time could never have imagined that I'd be lying here in bed with him right now, let alone naked. 

I never really would have thought that Theo would be the type to have a tattoo. He seems so . . . polished? I don't know if that's the right word, because I don't believe a tattoo makes someone unpolished. I just suppose that sometimes Theo has the aura like he was an English gentleman from another time, maybe from the 1920s or so, that possesses a degree of class and timelessness. I guess tattoos just don't really fit with that timeline or vision. 

I guess that's the point of his chosen tattoo, it isn't very obvious. It's a part of him he keeps underneath the layers to himself, for himself.

"To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness." I read, reciting the words that must be so sacred that he has etched them into his skin for eternity.

"I know, it's cheesy." 

He looks down, abashed, and it is then I realise that perhaps he is not so immune to the worries of judgement or concerns of imperfection when it comes to his appearance either. 

"It's not. It's beautiful." I assure him, shaking my head firmly as I smile at the words and continue to run my fingers over them. "But, can I ask what made you get it?" I  tear my gaze away from the tattoo for a moment to take in his expression as he looks down at the words wistfully.  

"My mother. It's actually her hand writing," he explains. "This quote was like the law for her. She wrote it down for me, back when she was sick. I think I was asking her about why she wasn't more angry that she was being robbed of her life at such a young age— the details have gotten a little foggy with time— and she wrote it down for me on a piece of paper to carry around with me for when she wasn't able to be there for me to remind me of what matters in life. She told me that she hadn't done all the big things everyone else talks about in their list of life achievements— she hadn't travelled much or had some crazy successful career or even a big social circle— but she had everything she needed to be happy. It's actually a quote from Mary Queen of Scots. Mum was a proud Scot and I remember her always being obsessed with her story." he recalls with a timid smile peaking through as his eyes begin to glisten.

Even his description is enough for my mind to put together the image of Theo's mother that I had seen framed in his bedroom with the thought of her sitting at a table, scrawling down the words that curl across his skin. Or, the scene of his mother feebly laying there and slipping away from her innocent, young child just trying to pass on some wisdom about what would seem like an incredibly cruel world. I think about how I've felt about what is happening with my grandmother, and she is someone who has been blessed with many years of joy and watched both her own children and grandchildren grow up. I can only imagine what that little boy would have felt. 

"That's lovely, the way you can carry that story around with you on your skin."

Theo takes his hand off of my hip, moving it over to grasp mine where it still rests on his side and slowly intertwining our fingers. He lifts them up between  us, watching on almost with what seems to be disbelief in his eyes at the sight. I am the one to then watch on with wonder as he moves our hands to his face, gracefully placing his lips on the skin of my knuckles in a gesture so simple but gently affectionate that I can almost feel a warmth pulsate from out of my heart if that's possible. 

He takes the moment to collect himself and return to the present, with what is clearly a difficult topic for him. 

"I just wanted something to remind me of her, to have her with me all the time. No one really talks much about how easy it is to go about life and forget a person, no matter how hard you might try otherwise. I might forget the way she smelt, or how her hugs felt , but at least I remember her words and the way she made me feel each time I look at them," he explains, and I can almost see the memories running behind his eyes with each word. 

"Plus, I got it as soon as I turned eighteen and my Dad fucking hated it so that was a nice bonus." he adds, one side of his lips smugly raising with satisfaction at his boy-like stab at his father. 

"Of course it was." I chuckle, shaking my head as though with disapproval although I find the thought of a rebelling teenage Theo amusing. 

"Would you ever get a tattoo?"

"I don't know. Maybe?" I consider, thinking back to the Pinterest board with ideas that I have saved but which will likely never come to fruition knowing me. "It'd have to be something really meaningful. I'm way too much of an over-thinker to get anything casually."

"Really? I could definitely see you with a delightful butterfly right about here," he teases with a grin, letting go of my hand so that he can delicately run his fingers across the bottom of my back. "Or maybe some roses and thorns across here." His fingers roam just atop the skin of my pelvis, barely touching it but sending each little hair straight up so that a shiver runs down my spine. I might have to say this feeling is more captivating for my sensations than if he actually was touching my skin completely. 

"Oh, for sure." I joke along, my response coming out as barely more than a gasp which Theo laughs along to. 

"So, what are you really up to today? Any plans?" he asks, seemingly withdrawing his attack on my body after already convincing me to stay in bed longer.

"I thought I was meant to be your hostage in here all day?"

"As much as I would like that, from the sound of your stomach grumbling I don't imagine that can last too long." he says, just as said grumble chimes through the room yet again as though my body was listening on and agreeing with Theo's words. 

"I think I'll have to agree with that," I relent. "Jess is supposed to come over. She was in the city for that wedding and said she wanted to catch up. I'm guessing she wants to talk over everything about my grandmother . . . but I might have some other things to finally talk about with her." I sneak in, testing out Theo's reaction to the inconspicuous comment. 

"Oh yeah, what might that be?" he prods, taking the bait. 

"Oh, I don't know. Definitely not about this English smart-ass we both know."

"English smart-ass? Gee, who might that be? I've only heard about this incredibly charming fellow." he rebuts, scrunching up his eyebrows and rubbing his jaw with feigned confusion. 

"I don't know about that. I did hear he goes around dating sisters and all that, so I'm not too sure."

My mission seems to be successful and I've managed to get him back for at least one of the many times he has poked fun at me this morning. With those words, Theo launches forward and his agreement of peace seems to have been withdrawn. 

"Oh, you're going to pay for that!"

***********************

I've got to say that Theo's punishments aren't so punishing. I should make fun of him more often. 

After giving in to a bit more time in bed with Theo, I slide on my robe as I wait by the door for him to slide his underwear and pants back on, grabbing his socks and shoes in his hands as the remainder of his belongings awaits him in the living room where it was discarded last night.

Before we can open the door and pop our bubble to return to the real world, my hand resting on the door knob with hesitation as I wait for him to join, Theo stops and lifts a hand to my face. He pushes my hair behind my ear and his thumb delicately runs over my cheek, stirring up memories of all the parts of me that his fingers had skimmed over last night. He places his fingers underneath my chin, softly pushing my face up to him and placing his lips on mine. He takes his time, the feeling of warmth from the blood rushing to his lips evident as our lips meet. Our lips blend together in perfect unison as we hold onto the last grasp of simplicity, as though holding our breath in this action will prevent from moving forward in time. 

With reluctance, we break apart and with his forehead still against mine, I twist the hand that still rests on my doorknob and open the door. He moves backwards now, allowing me to make my out of the room first to scan the space for Jess. 

We barely step out the door before we are made for. 

"Good morning Theodore. Fancy seeing you here."

Damn tiny apartment. 

I follow the sound of Jess's voice to the kitchen where I find her leaning over the countertop as she gingerly sips from her coffee mug.

She is clearly assessing the situation, trying to determine what is going on between the two of us, lips hidden behind her mug as I look to her eyes for a hint of her reaction. She's squinting but I can't say whether it's with negative judgement or not. I don't think she's even made her mind up yet. 

I mean, obviously she could guess the things that could have literally happened between the two of us in my room, but the status of our relationship and the exact events that have occurred are a mystery for her at the moment. She definitely knows that Theo had never stayed over— I had only stayed over at his apartment the one time last week and that was a mind-blowing update for her. I could only imagine her reaction to last night's events.

"Morning Jess." I say at the same time that Theo murmurs a hushed "Morning". 

We slowly and cautiously make our way over to her, allowing the kitchen bench top to remain as the barrier between us as though it could possibly protect us from her inquisitiveness. As we do, I try to scan the room for Theo's belongings— notably his hoodie— as I'm sure he is as well although I come up with no results. 

Sure enough though, as we arrive in front of Jess I notice the shape of a familiarly coloured item resting on the bench top in front of her. 

"I believe this is yours." Jess says, holding out Theo's hoodie to him.

Even with that perfectly sculpted torso, Theo is still human and clearly insecure to some degree as he hides behind my figure. Abashed, he moves his arm out from behind me and accepts the item from her. "Thank you."

She nods in acknowledgement, returning to patiently sipping on her coffee as she scrutinises our appearance and behaviour. Meanwhile, I can hear Theo quickly slipping on his hoodie behind me, rightfully eager to cover up both due to the watchful eye of Jess and the frosty temperature of the apartment this morning. In my room, with the warmth trapped inside for hours and bundled under the bedsheets, it was barely felt. But out here in the more open space, even if not a very large space at all, it could be felt more so. 

"So, did you guys get up to much yesterday?" she prods.

"Oh, you know, helped my grandmother pack. Theo was kind enough to drive me after my car broke down," I say, looking back over my shoulder to check in on how he is doing, "Probably should do something about that today."

"Ah, right. Of course." she chimes, feigning innocence. What did she think I would say? Yeah, had a great day. Packed Nana up and then came back here and fucked.

I suddenly feel skin against my fingers which I have tangled behind my back, Theo linking one of his own with mine to remind me of his presence. I don't know whether it's an act of support or if maybe he's internally laughing at the situation as well, but I'm warmed by the gesture. 

There's a stare-off going on between Jess and the two of us, with her looking between the two of us waiting to see who would break first. But she underestimates how good we are at facing the awkward silence and I sure as hell don't want to explain everything that's happened with Theo to Jess in front of him.

"Well, I best be off." Theo suddenly announces, swiftly breaking the silence and relieving me of the worry that Jess would say something that would mortify me. 

"Right, of course. I'll walk you out." I turn to the direction of the door, throwing a deaf stare in Jess's direction over my shoulder as I wait for Theo to slip on his shoes, grab the last of his belongings and join me at the door. Jess innocently shrugs, as if to say "what did I do?". 

Finally, Theo joins me by the door. "Goodbye Jessica. Always a pleasure," he calls out, sounding particularly British as he does if I might say. "I'll leave you to your interrogating of Ella. Don't be too tough on her." he adds teasingly.

I hate that I can't see her reaction from where I am standing but from the sound of her snort before she shouts back goodbye I know that she is amused. It's not too often that anyone calls Jess out on her nosy qualities. 

Once we are out of the doorway and of earshot from Jess, we stop to exchange a few last words before we close the door to an eventful twenty-four hours. I lean against the wall as I wait for one of us to make the first attempt on how to do that. 

 "I'll talk to you later." he says, biting on his bottom lip as he continues to smile from the exchange inside my apartment and gently sways from side to side.  

"Sounds good." I nod, feeling vulnerable as the cards seem to be in his hands as he prepares to walk away. 

Finally, he takes my face in his both his hands, gently pushing me against the wall  as he places his lips on mine one last time before slowly pulling back and turning around to leave. I find myself watching as we walks down the hallway and am caught in the act as he turns to look over his shoulder at me. 

"Bye Ella." he chuckles biting down on his lower lip even deeper as he holds back a smirk. I gingerly wave to him before he turns around the corner to where the stairwell awaits. 

I walk back into the apartment with a million thoughts running through my mind and now impatiently counting down the minutes until we have the discussion he suggested— the one that is supposed to bring more clarity to our situationship. I close the door behind me, slumping back onto it as I take a deep breath. 

Barely seconds have passed since I cross the threshold before Jess's attack is launched.

"Now, what in the world have I missed?"