Song of the chapter: FRIENDS by Anne-Marie and Marshmello

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"Can you pass the milk?"

It's the next morning and I feel like I am once again a twelve year old sitting at my grandmother's dining table as I sit and have breakfast with Lexi. Except, now I'm a grown woman sitting with my pregnant sister in my own apartment. How time flies.

I pass Lexi the milk as I ponder over just how much has changed, and yet how little has changed too. Over a decade has passed and yet I'm still here looking after Lexi while she just goes about life on her own accord. I'm still here with my thoughts in a whirlwind as I think about everything possible all in one moment. At twelve I was caught in between divorced parents, a mother who had basically abandoned me and who I would have to travel across the world to even to get a hug from, a sister who needed me more than ever since she knew even less of our mother.

I kind of skipped being a normal kid. I forced myself into this position where I had to mature quicker than others. Maybe I could've ignored it all and left the mature stuff to the adults, but how could I? How could I when my father was sitting there alone at night with his head collapsed in his hands from exhaustion, trying to at least get back from work in time so that he could tuck us in but knowing he needed to work extra for the money. How could I not take on more when I saw my grandmother distraught by having to choose between being there for her granddaughters when her own daughter had failed them and being with her daughter in her true home. Everyone else was taking on more then they should have to in an ideal world so why shouldn't I too?

So it betrays my nature now to be so occupied by such a trivial thing as attraction and something so typical of my age, but also something that could in some way hurt Lexi or maybe even me. Nothing would ever happen with Theo. That's what she said and she knows me better than most people in this world so she would likely know best. I should just trust her opinion, even if I don't have all of the information. Right?

I am broken out of my reverie by the sound of my phone vibrating on the table surface. I look to the screen to see Theo's name appearing in a notification, quickly grabbing the phone so that Lexi doesn't see.

Theo: So was everything okay at home?

I now realise that I probably should've messaged him to let him know that everything was okay, but I wasn't sure if he'd care and also just needed to give myself some time away from everything, even if it was just to sleep. Regardless, I'm warmed by his concern so I quickly reply to his message.

Ella: Everything was fine. Thanks for checking though. I just forgot that I had made plans with Lexi and she'd been waiting at my place for me.

Before I forget, I make an additional, yet incredibly significant, point.

Ella: By the way, YOU GAVE ME A FREAKING HICKEY!? I haven't had a hickey since I was nineteen.

Those three little dots make their appearance on my screen as I imagine his smug little smirk growing by the second behind the screen. This is so not helping me.

Theo: Oops. Guess I got a little carried away. Gonna blame it on the wine and the excitement.

Theo: Happy for you to come past so I can show you my restraint.

"What are you smiling about?" Lexi asks suddenly. I look up to find her looking between my phone and my face, having clearly picked up on what is stealing my attention away.

I bite down on my lip as if that is going to suppress the involuntary grin Theo is threatening to stretch across my face. Once again I am made to feel like a little girl again that has just been caught by her parents.

"Oh nothing. Just something funny that Jess sent me." I tell her, hoping that at the mention of Jess the conversation might not progress much further. They're not on bad terms like they were before but they certainly aren't at a point where Lexi would want to meddle further into mine and Jess' friendship.

Thankfully, it works and Lexi returns her attention to her cereal, leaving me to once again act as though I am a smitten school girl. However, once I tell myself that I need to be more discrete so that Lexi doesn't pick up on anything I am soon reminded once again what Lexi had said last night; instantly wiping the grin off of my face. There has to be a reason that Lexi said that she thought nothing would ever happen between me and Theo, and I should trust that reasoning. That would be the simple thing to do.

I know I need to resolve whatever the hell is going on right now between Theo and I, and I need to do it soon. I had described this thing between us as a tap being turned on that was unable to be turned off now. But if I don't turn it off soon, no matter how hard it is to do, then the water will begin to spill over and run across the floor until it is revealed in places it shouldn't be.

Knowing what I have to do, I message Theo back.

Ella: Are you free for me to pop past later?

Upon sending the message, I immediately realise how that it might be perceived and send a follow up message. 

Ella: And hold your horses. It's not for what you think.

He responds mere seconds later.

Theo: You're no fun.

Theo: When were you thinking of coming past?

I check the time and think over my plans for the day, such as going out for lunch with Lexi and playing catch up with errands after a day spent with Theo, before I respond.

Ella: Within the next hour or so?

Theo: I'll be home.

Ella: Okay. See you soon.

Putting down my phone and collecting the last scoop of cereal with my spoon, I say to Lexi, "So, I just need to run a few errands and then we can go ahead and have our lunch. Sound good?"

"Oh okay." she responds, still eating her own cereal.

I swiftly change out of my pyjamas and do my hair and makeup simply before I make my way out the door and am on my way to Theo's. When I reach his apartment, the door is quickly opened with Theo having expected my presence for once. Without giving him a chance to even greet me properly I push past him in the door way and walk straight in to the apartment, pacing through the room.

"Hello to you too then."

I turn back around to look at him from where I now stand near his kitchen, having needed to distance myself from him.

"Right, hi." I say, hands in the back of my jeans as I try to refrain myself from anxiously fiddling with them. "We need to talk." I announce, cutting right to the chase.

"Okay." he skeptically responds as he reaches the kitchen too, amusement visible in his squinted eyes as he observes my frantic nature. He's standing there with his hands resting in the pockets of those damn grey track pants, just like he was wearing last night, with the tight fit of his black long sleeve shirt expanding across his broad shoulders. Needed to distract myself, I return my attention to the discussion I need to have with him.

"As great as last night was-"

"It was pretty great, wasn't it?" he cuts in, smirk growing as he eases closer to me.

"It can't happen again." I continue.

"And why is that?" he questions, having halted his movements as he looks to me with confusion.

"Well, you dated my sister for one thing." I point out rather obviously.

"You mean the same sister who is pregnant with another guy's child? The one that I ended things with weeks ago." he remarks, eyebrows raised with bafflement.

"It still crosses a line. It still happened." I remind him with the repeated shaking of my head.

"Screw the line." he declares slowly, once again beginning his mission to minimise the space between us.

I'm not sure what to say next as my eyes remain fixated on his body moving closer and closer to mine. Screw the line cannot be a reasonable way to justify anything else happening; to justify me abandoning my morals and beliefs. Yet, I can't think of what to say next before Theo thinks up something of his own.

"You know what I think. I think if you really wanted to stop anything more from happening between us you could've done it over the phone. You could have just sent another message and not have had to see me. Ignored my messages. Deleted my number. Blocked me. But you didn't. You chose to come here and see me. You chose to be in the same apartment that all those things happened in last night because you want more." he says, eyes fixated on mine.

"You're wrong." I tell him, though the quiver in my voice as I say this betrays me.

"Am I? Because I think you want to know what would have happened next if we hadn't been interrupted, if my hands had stayed put and we had continued on the path we were going down." he suggests, moving his head closer to mine as his hand moves the hair cascading down the sides of my face to behind my shoulder.

"If you want me to stop, just say the word. Just tell me to stop and you'll be done with me." He whispers into my ear before his lips mark the skin below my ear, the cool touch of his tongue sending shivers down my spine. Soon he has returned to the same spot which landed me in cold water last night, tracing over the mark he made just above my collarbone with his tongue.
I let him continue with his tirade against my hormones for a few more seconds, my head involuntarily tipping backwards and consequently exposing more of my skin to be victim to Theo's lips, before I make a feeble attempt to do the rational thing and halt what is happening.

"Theo, we're just friends. Nothing else can happen." I tell him, not finding it in me to say the word stop because it would be a betrayal to every fibre of me which is currently exhilarated by his touch. My mouth is saying one thing though while my body says another with no attempt to move away from Theo's touch being made.

"Okay. Just friends," he agrees as his hands roam over my hips and his lips glide across my jawline like a butterfly softly touching my skin. "You don't do this with all your friends?" he teases.

"But Lexi.... And me..." I barely utter.

He pulls away now to look at my face as he confidently assures me, "No one has to know. This can just be our little secret."

His face is frozen now before me as he awaits my response, for me to take the initiative this time.

I know that I'm not being logical right now but my body is screaming out to me to screw rationality.

He's given me every opportunity but I can't find it in myself to say it. I can't tell him to stop because I just don't want him to. It's that simple. Instead, my hands latch onto his as they grip my hips, locking him into place as his lips join with mine. He eases us backwards until my back hits the edge of the kitchen bench and he is lifting me up onto the surface of it.

Our mouths collide, with Theo gently pulling my head down by my neck so that our heads are level with one another. That is, until both his lips and hands tear away from their respective places so that instead they both begin travelling down my body. My mind can't help but go back to my observation of how my whole body could fit across his island bench as Theo's efforts have me slowly easing myself backwards so that I lay across the island bench.

"Now, where did we leave things?" he teases, looking up from the rim of my jeans. 

Soon my hands are gripping onto the edges of the stone bench top, the cold of the stone working wonders to tame the fire that is rushing over my skin from each movement of Theo's tongue. My spine tingles with each stroke of his tongue, no amount of biting down on my lips able to restrain the moans that spill out of my lips nor does it halt me from inevitably uttering his name as I crumble to pieces.

A line had officially been crossed.

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So, how are you guys feeling after that chapter? If I could figure out how to add gifs in here you'd definitely have a suggestive eyebrow wiggle gif featured.

Sorry for the delay with the update. Unfortunately things haven't been the best with me but I'm gonna try my best to write when I can because I'd love to get the rest of this story out there for everyone to read.

By the way, let me know how you guys think I should format any messages. Do you like the way I've formatted their texts thus far? Or, do you think I should switch it up? Open to suggestions.

Vote/comment/share

The Fiction Dreamer 

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