9:00am.

I most certainly should be continuing my deep sleep at this point in time. I should be peacefully sleeping, enjoying my day off and getting my necessary hours of sleep, especially when it is New Years Day. Add in the fact that I had a fair amount of drinks last night, not enough to get me drunk but enough to get me tipsy and give me the headache I have right now, and you have an incredibly disgruntled Ella frustrated by being awoken this early.

All these facts combine to reach the conclusion that this is a time when no one should dare to wake me up. But, of course, Jess just had to go ahead and do exactly that in the midst of my amazing bed rest.

I had been dreaming about lord knows what kind of fairytale when I heard the familiar tone of my ringtone coming from the earphones that were hanging loosely from my ears from how I had fallen asleep listening to music.

Listening to music as I tried to fall asleep had become a habit of mine for years whenever I was having trouble falling asleep because my thoughts just wouldn't shut off. I was a compulsive over thinker and the only solution was to drown out my thoughts with the words of songs.

However, this solution of mine had its downfalls, such as when someone would call me as I sleep. Jess knew this and yet she was still calling me when she knew I would sleeping. I had no idea why she was calling me considering the fact that I presumed she'd be home right now too.

I knew she would just continue to call me repeatedly until I answered and I was already awake now so I figure I might as well answer her call. Unfortunately, for my ears and headache, as soon as I answer the call Jess screams "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" into my ear, making me instantly regret my decision.

Jess might be oblivious to the fact that I almost kissed Theo last night and proceeded to get quite tipsy, leading to my migraine, but I still wanted to murder her at this moment for torturing my ears with her shouting. My ears are ringing and my head throbbing from that horrendous shout.

I'm sure who I should be more angry at, Jess or myself. Then I remember that I was the idiot that wanted to forget about certain events last night and hadn't thought about how later on I would also not be able to forget something else; my gruesome hangover.

Yep, I should definitely be more angry at myself.

I groan into my phone, giving away just enough information for her to know not to do anymore of it.

"Happy New Year to you too but why are you calling me at nine in the moaning, especially after New Years Eve?" I groan into the phone in a rather raspy tone.

I try to keep my voice as low as possible so as not to further increase the throbbing pain in my head. Jess doesn't seem to get the point.

"Oops, I didn't realise you'd still be sleeping. Sorry," she apologises as she attempts to secretly giggle at me from behind the safety of her phone, "I thought you'd be up and needed you to check for me if we have a few things. I'm at the shops. Anyways, no offence, but why do you sound so horrid? Big night with Damon? Or Theo? Or both?" she teases.

I'm not sure if I'm going to answer her question honestly. If I were to tell her that I spent most of my New Years Eve with Theo instead of Damon she would probably tease me and then somehow find out that we had nearly kissed. Then I would never hear the end of her teasing.

But then again, how could I keep anything a secret from Jess? I always told Jess absolutely everything. That's what happens when you can count your number of friends on your hand.

I'm also not exactly the best liar so there is a large chance of her finding out and that the damage may be worse if she doesn't find out straight away.

I decide that her finding out is probably inevitable and I should just go ahead and rip the bandaid off. I'll tell her that we spent some close time together last night but I'm still deliberating on the whole near-kiss situation. This is not exactly what I wanted to be doing right now of all times but what else was I to do?

"I kind of spent a chunk of last night with Theo." I revealed.

I prayed that she wouldn't blow this completely out of hand. I was completely aware of how she liked to over-exaggerate and become quite enthusiastic when it came to the topic of Theo.

But my prayers were quickly distinguished as pointless once I hear Jess gasp and shriek "No way Ella! You did not!"

Her exclamations make me have a sudden epiphany of how bad it sounded when I had said that I spent the night with Theo and how that could be easily misinterpreted.

"Oh my god no Jess! Not like that," I rush to explain, "We just hung out together because Damon was running a fair bit late," I elaborate as I now sit up straight, moving forward from my sort-of-leap up to take back what I had said.

"That still sounds a bit suspicious."

I'm starting to think that Jess is kinda like those fan girls who watch tv shows and movies and 'ship' a couple and go crazy over them. If there was ever one, Jess would be the leader of the Thella ship.

All she seems to think these days is that I've got something going on with Theo or that we have feelings for one another. I will admit that I have made my fair amount of errors and confusion when it has come to Theo, but it still doesn't mean she's right. She's set her eyes on something that will never happen. You would think that me going out with Damon and all would change her opinion but apparently it hasn't and won't for a while.

"There's nothing suspicious Jess. Nothing at all happened. Just a guy being sympathetic for the girl who was essentially being stood up on New Years Eve," I reassure her. I don't mention the close kiss at midnight or how I literally had to drink the thoughts away which ended up in failure as I couldn't take it off my mind.

"Are you sure Elle? I feel like you're not telling me the whole story," she says, the doubt evident in her tone.

"Well...," I begin, considering just spilling the truth to her. I knew eventually I would confide to her. She was my best friend and not only would it kill me to not have someone to talk to about it but I know how hurt she would be by me keeping the secret. But then I remember that I would get an equal amount of ranting from her if I were to tell her about the near kiss. "No Jess, I'm not keeping anything from you and nothing happened. It was just a simple innocent night." I lie.

Let's hope that my lying skills have improved and that I'm more believable over the phone because lord knows I've always been horrible at lying. From the nervous habits to the creeping blushes to the high pitched voice, me attempting to lie never worked but I desperately needed it to now.

I wait anxiously for her response until finally she relieves me from my anxiety with her response.

Finally she says, "Okay I believe you Ella."

I let out a quiet sigh of relief at her response and I can feel the tension release from my body. I somehow managed to pull off the lie and got her to believe me. I don't know how but I'm so grateful it happened. I needed the time to think things over by myself and relieve myself from the pressure building within me.

"See Ella, I can lie to you just like you did when you said nothing happened."

And just like that all that anxiety and tension rushes back. I've been caught in my lie and Jess is definitely not a fan of dishonesty no matter what the degree of deception, especially from her best friend of all people.

She has caught me in my deception and I have no idea how she is going to react to my lies.

"Jess, I-"

"No Ella, stop. Don't lie to me. I don't want any lies of secrecy from you of all people. I don't understand why you can't just tell me the truth. We're meant to be each other's best friends and I'm just trying to get you to fight for what you want. Honestly, I feel kind of hurt that you don't trust me enough to tell me what's really going on and what you're feeling," she confesses.

Seconds ago I thought I could hear the curiosity in her voice but now I can definitely confirm that all I hear is hurt and it hurts me to know I'm the cause of it.

"Fine Jess. I'm sorry. We nearly kissed last night," I reveal to her, giving in, "That's all that happened between Theo and I last night."

"You sure you're not keeping anything else a secret?" she rebuts.

This pushes me over the edge, my tolerance severely low right now.

"I don't understand what the big deal is. I can't talk to you about any of this because I don't even know what I think. I don't need your thoughts to confuse me because we clearly know what you think." I tell her.

I sit under my bed covers with my phone held closely to my ear waiting for any response to what I said. Instead she chooses to wait a while before she responds. It's like she knows that the longer she waits to respond the more I will worry in that time.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asks, definitely leaving me worried and with regret. I immediately want to take back what I said.

It's not what she said that has me worried. It was that quiet and calm tone she used, the one that disguised the anger boiling within her, that made me unsure of what was going to happen.

"I just mean that since I've met Theo and Damon all you've seemed to have done is bug me about Theo. I thought that was over once I broke up with Derek but you've just started it all over again. Why can't you understand that I don't want to be with Theo and feel the need to insist that I have feelings for him? I'm a grown woman and you most certainly aren't my mother. Go do these things for yourself if you feel so strongly about them?" I spill out.

In this moment, a majority of my hungover brain is saying that I might as well get everything that I've been keeping in out; all the little things I've kept bottled up inside of me. It wasn't like there was any way this conversation would end on a good note.

I don't know how we have even ended up here at his point. We've gone from her waking me up early to scream happy new year in my ear and are now arguing about Theo and confessing true feelings.

"That's how you really feel? Ella, I care about you. Can't you see that? I'm just looking out for you and pointing out the obvious truth. If I didn't you would honestly not get that oblivious head of yours out of your ass and realise what's really happening," she replies.

Those last words of hers hit me where it really hurts and I know that I can't hear any more of this. Rationally, I can understand that I've said some harsh words to her to but her responding with her own makes this all the more real.

I can recognise that if we continue at this rate we'll both only hurt each other more with our words. I decide not to respond with any more jabs.

"Thanks Jess. Nice to know what you really think." I scoff.

"Whatever Ella. Happy freaking new year."

"Yeah you too."

And then I hang up.

My initial response is to just scream and let out all my anger that had built up throughout the conversation.

I don't even care that it is nine in the morning and that I would either be waking up or worrying my neighbours.

I go to scream but it just won't come out. Instead I find myself with tears pouring down my face in streams and my head dropped down into my hands.

I stay like that for a while. Just crying. There's nothing else that I can do. That was the biggest fight me and Jess had ever had and it sincerely worried me. I worry that I could have just potentially ruined the best friendship I have ever had.

I don't know what I'm meant to do next or how to move on from this. Am I supposed to just stay here in this state, waiting for Jess to come back home? Nothing like this has ever happened before, thankfully, but now I'm just left clueless and down. I don't know if I will be able to repair this, let alone what to do if I could.

I was planning on continuing my present activity of crying through all the pain and hurt when I hear my phone buzzing from somewhere under all the blankets where I had thrown it.

I search through all the blankets hoping that it is Jess calling back so that we could reconcile, only for me to find Damon's name flashing across the all too bright screen.

I know that I should probably answer his call, it is the nice thing to do, so I quickly wipe the tears from under my eyes, clear my throat and answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Ella! Happy New Year again!" he exclaims into the phone, making me regret answering this call no matter how nice of a person he was, "Just wanted to check in on you. You didn't look like you were handling the alcohol the best when I dropped you off last night."

That was the thing about Damon. There was never a time that he wasn't nice.

"I'm okay. Thanks for checking," I basically whisper in response as I try to hold back the tears threatening to spill out.

"Are you okay?" he asks, "Something sounds wrong."

Apparently I didn't do a very good job of hiding the sorrow within my voice.

"Yeah I'm fine."

I lied.

****************************

Some more drama in the Bahamas for you guys because apparently I don't know how to press the pause button on it.

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