"My mum was also diagnosed with cancer but she had fortunately discovered it quite early since she knew that it ran in the family, so she was going through the treatment. My grandmother wanted to be by her side and I wanted to be by my grandmother's side. So I moved to Australia and stayed by my mum's side, not wanting to waste a chance to spend time with her in case things didn't go so well. A year passed and my mum fortunately made it through the treatment and into remission. I was in my senior year by that point so I didn't want to move back here but my grandma had to return to look after Lexi. So I stayed there for a few more years and then when I realised just how left out I felt amongst my mum and her new family I came back here."

"Do you still keep in touch with her?" he asks.

"Not really. She sends a few messages throughout the year on special occasions. I reply and that's about it. I just don't really feel like putting in the effort for someone who barely puts effort in for their own daughter," I answer, letting myself lay back onto the surface of the timber as I take a long breath in.

"Sometimes I convince myself I don't need her, that I'm fine without her in my life, and then something little will happen that reminds me of her. It'll be Mother's Day and I'll see people celebrating and I'll wonder where I should do something about it. I used to have this little bracelet that she bought me one day from a market or something. It has these little charms on it, Cinderella's glass slipper, a rose and such. It was this plastic little thing but god I loved it. Even after she left, I'd wear it all the time. That was until I got to my teenage years and I of course didn't think it was as cool anymore so I took it off one day. But then when I went to find it and put it back on I couldn't find it anywhere. I was absolutely heartbroken and I think at that point I realised just how much I was holding onto that bracelet as a way of holding onto her. After that, I decided to let go of any of those thoughts so they could be lost just like that bracelet." 

A take a deep breath in, not realising how much I needed it after rambling on for far too long. I don't even know why I felt the need to tell Theo all of that. As I do, I feel a touch of air brushing against my skin and the movement of the timber as Theo moves to lay back in the same position as myself, turning on his side once he does so though so that he is still looking at me.

"Sounds a bit selfish when I think about it now. I have a mother who is alive and well, there at any moment if I wanted to see or talk to her, but I'm ignoring her," I say, realising this as I compare Theo's and my own story.

"It's not selfish. You put in the effort and you gave her a chance even after she hurt you. She couldn't do the same. Just because she's there doesn't mean that she's worth your time is she's just going to keep hurting you deep down, intentionally or not. It's her fault for not appreciating the amazing woman her daughter has grown into and who was waiting right in front of her," he tells me.

"Thank you," I respond in a hushed tone, almost speechless from his kind words and the way he seemed to understand my perspective so easily.

"I'm just speaking the truth."

Somehow, as heartwarming words are shared and the blood rushes to my cheeks, I've found Theo to be closer to me somehow. Whether it was intentional or not I could not tell but he seemed to be edging closer to me from the way he was leaning.

I remain speechless, staring back at this man who was saying things to me that few others had said and was making me feel like the only person in the world at this moment. This was only enhanced by his intense gaze, the stormy shade of his blue-grey eyes locked onto mine.

Before I can lose myself further in Theo I turn my gaze back to the sky, taking a large gulp to swallow the saliva which has pooled in my mouth.

"Do you miss England?" I ask him.

He takes a moment to respond, clearing his throat first.

"I do," he answers, "It was my home for so long and all my memories of growing up are there. But so are the bad memories so I don't know if I could ever bring myself to go back to live there. It's kinda like with your bracelet, there's a lot connected to it all. "

I nod my head, understanding his point of view. I had grown attached to the small New York town I had grown up in but I couldn't bear to walk through it, being reminded each day of the way my family had been ripped apart so quickly. If I had stayed there I would have been stuck, so I had to leave.

"Would you ever go back to Australia?" Theo asks me.

"Maybe," I say, "Definitely not for my mother. I truly did enjoy living there. It was a more relaxed way of life. I felt that it had become a home to me. I made connections and it wasn't tainted by the memories of the past. I made new memories there. I graduated, got my license, had my first love, started university. I was happy. So yes, I would go back if it wasn't for the fact that I didn't want to be away from my family."

"I've noticed that about you since we met. You're always putting everyone else before yourself," he points out, making me move my head back to look at him in response.

"Not that much."

He gives me a look, as if to say 'really?', raising his eyebrows at me.

"Okay, I might do it a bit but it's what I'm used to. I'm the big sister. The responsible one. I've been doing it for so long now, what else am I supposed to do?" I tell him.

"Do what you want to do, what your heart is telling you to do. Just forget everyone else and let it all go."

"But—"

"Let go."

Goosebumps rise on my arms instantaneously as he almost whispers those two words, a shiver fighting to run down my spine from the way he utters this in a deep tone. I'm on my side and he is on his, looming over me the slightest as he leans back on his elbow and plants his intense gaze on me.

I think I can hear this rumbling or beating sound growing by the second and I almost think that it's my heartbeat, growing louder as it begins to race. However, I soon realise it to be the sound of the crowds below us shouting as they count down the seconds to midnight; time with Theo going past faster than I could keep track of. The voices create a strange symphony from so high up as they combine with the sounds of the city, enveloping us as we get lost in the vibrations they create.

As each second goes by I feel us being pulled closer to another, like a rope has been tightly wound around me and I was being pulled to him.

"Five"... a centimetre closer .... "four" .... another centimetre .... "three" even closer .... "two"... only a fingers length away .... "one."

I can feel my heart racing in my head now, down my veins, my arms, in my stomach; it's shaking me through my core as the effect of Theo settles in.

Times seems to slow down in that last second before the new year arrives, Theo's eyes moving from where they had been locked on my eyes down to my lips, his right arm being lifted so that it is cupping my cheek.

The crowds below shout "Happy New Year" as the skyline of New York City erupts with fireworks, lights exploding against the black sky. As each new pop of colour celebrates the new year the last bits of space between Theo and I are increasingly disappearing.

I swallow the saliva which has once again gathered in my mouth as I attempt to regain my breath, the waiting game killing me at this rate.

He looks up into my eyes, one last time before I know what is going to happen, as if to check one final time if I was okay with this. I stare back, not wanting to break our gaze and step back from this. There was no going back from this so I was jumping into the deep end completely now.

His thumb rubs my cheek and I know it's going to happen now. I can feel his breath as it hits my face, his breathing having picked up too. I close my eyes and wait as the last bits of space between us are lost.

"Ella!"

My eyes flash open.

I'm met with a look of shock, confusion, anger? I'm not sure what exact emotion is rushing through Theo in this moment but I know that it certainly wasn't what we had both expected we'd be experiencing right now.

"Ella, are you there?" the voice calls out again, somewhere close by.

He seems to recognise the voice first, dropping his hand from my face with irritation and muttering something under his breath.

I am next to realise whose voice it is, quickly turning away and distancing myself from Theo as I realise what I'm doing.

"Ella, there you are!" Damon exclaims, turning around the corner to find us and envelope me in an embrace. I look over his shoulder, watching as Theo looks away from the sight of us with a look of dissatisfaction on his face. "I'm so sorry that I'm late but we ran into some trouble on the way home. Anyways, happy new year!"

"Happy new year," I say back to him, my voice still rather raspy after having my mouth gaping open in shock for quite some time and losing my breath for a moment.

"Now that I'm back, I can take it from here Theo," he says, turning to look at Theo who is just sitting there waiting. His words make Theo furrow his eyebrows instantaneously with frustration, irritated by the way he is being dismissed.

Damon is standing up straight now, his hand outstretched to me and waiting. I look between the two men in front of me, unsure of this situation I had trapped myself in.

Theo seems to solve my situation for myself though, ending his glaring at Damon to look in the other direction out at the city and ignore us.

I lift myself up, whispering good night to Theo as I take Damon's hand to walk away from a situation that had quickly escalated. He attempts to pull me along with him immediately put I pull him to a halt when I hear Theo say something from behind us.

"Happy new year Ella," he says to me, only just managing to look me in the eye with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Happy new year Theo."

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Internally screaming.

Was so excited to write this chapter just as I hope you are reading it. Been waiting a long time for it. Sorry for being a bit of a tease hehe.

This was reaaaally long and I was gonna break it into two chapters but then I didn't want to split it. Let me know what you think though. Can't wait to explore what happens next.

**Please note I've added in a tiny bit where they speak about their mothers and Ella's bracelet which wasn't there before which might prove relevant later**

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TheFictionDreamer

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