After hours and hours of non-stop practice, Cole finally finished his romantic surprise for Jay. He couldn't be anymore proud of it. He hadn't eaten and he just hoped this would all pay off in the end. 

Cole really loved Jay and telling him about his crush wasn't enough. What he had planned would make Jay realise for sure. He didn't want to admit it but he was so nervous. There was always that risk of Jay hating it. There was always that risk of Jay running away before Cole even got the chance. The universe had to be on his side now more than ever.

This secret talent of his was his last and only opportunity to prove to Jay that they weren't just best friends. Cole could feel the connection between them; Zane even said it himself. This stupid crush was making Cole crazy in both good and bad ways.

Jay felt like home. Whenever he was around him, he felt so safe. Cole had never been panicked around him until now, but that was mostly because Jay knew. Usually, he'd be happy and relaxed. His heart would race every now and then but it was also content. Jay's smile always made him feel calm, like the entire world had stopped around them. No matter where they were, whether it was together or not, his heart was always with the loveable blue ninja. 

And that was why Cole couldn't wait any longer. Now that Jay was single again, he could finally shoot his shot with him. It was risky, yes oh so risky, but he was willing to risk everything just to be with him. He just wanted to be able to hold Jay in his arms and call him his own. Was that too much to ask for?

But whether they would end up together or not, it wouldn't stop Cole from being there for him. No matter what, he'd be there to protect his love. He would make sure that Jay wasn't in either physical or emotional pain and if he was, he wouldn't leave his side until he was better. That wasn't just what best friends do. He couldn't stand the thought of Jay being hurt. It pained him. If he experienced hardships, Cole felt it too, and that was true love. 

They were perfect for each other.

And with that, Cole finished setting up his romantic surprise for Jay, got dressed into a black tux just to add to the romantic feeling and stood in front of his bedroom mirror.

"You can do this Cole," He took a deep breath.

He opened the door to his bedroom, checked if anyone was around and wandered down the corridor to find Jay's room. His heart was pounding; it felt like it was going to rip out of his chest. This was his one and only chance to show Jay how much he loved him and if it went wrong, there was no way he could come back from it. 

As he reached the door, he stopped, took another deep breath and went to knock. Before he did, he spotted that the door was already slightly open. Maybe he wasn't in there?

Cole opened it a little more, but quietly, hoping no one would spot him. He frowned as he peered in through the little gap, spotting Jay sat on his bed. Except... he wasn't alone. Cole took a better look, spotting the other person that was sat opposite him. He glanced up a little, noticing it was Nya and...

Oh no.

There was no way.

Cole's heart dropped through his chest and onto the floor, tears building up in his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

They were... kissing? 

After how upset Jay had been yesterday about his breakup and that whole speech Cole had given him about how terrible of a girlfriend she was, he was now kissing her? What? How was that even possible? Jay felt awful the previous day and Cole had only barely managed to convince him that he deserved better than that selfish brat, and now he was making out with her like nothing ever happened.

Cole backed up, almost bumping into the wall behind him. His vision became blurry and his head became light.

What was happening?

He quickly sprinted down the corridor, tears falling with every step, and into his room, slamming the door closed and locking it. He slid down to the ground, his knees up to his chest, sobbing. After all that effort he had gone through... all that struggle... all those years of waiting... it had all been for nothing. 

All he could think of was how he had fallen for Jay and how his heart was now crushed. It hurt. It hurt so much. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. If he had felt so humiliated before, what was he feeling now? It was worse. He didn't know how to feel. 

"We thought we lost you, you... you... jerk!" Jay shouted, panic in his eyes.

Cole laughed, "You can't get rid of me that easily."

His voice played in his head. Everything they had been through... everything they had said to each other... it was all a waste. It was like Jay had taken his heart and ripped it into tiny paper pieces and scattered them everywhere. 

Jay knew how he felt about him. Jay knew it would hurt him but he still did it. 

But maybe it all made sense...

Maybe there was a reason for it...

All those years ago when Cole had gone behind his back with Nya, Jay had been so angry and upset. Was this payback? Was this how Jay felt? He'd always felt so guilty about what happened and Jay knew that but was this finally him getting his own back? 

He deserved it. He deserved the heart break. That was one of the worst days of Jay's lives and this was now easily one of the worst of Cole's. He'd betrayed his best friend's trust and now they were even, right?

"You know why you're the black ninja? 'Cause it's the colour of your heart!" Jay yelled.

It was true. He was heartless. He hurt Jay and proceeded to hurt him more by telling him a huge secret that would probably make him feel guilty. Cole hadn't thought anything of it back then but now that it was all so real... he couldn't believe it.

Was Cole really the selfish one here?

Was he really planning to make Jay fall for him after he had just broken up with the love of his life?

That was selfish. Jay would be at his most vulnerable point and Cole was just willing to use him. On what planet was that ever okay? Jay had every right to react like this. Maybe Nya was right for him in the first place and Cole was the one that was wrong for him.

Cole felt his heart break more with every cry. He wanted Jay so badly. He needed him. If he didn't have him, who else would he have? Jay was the love of his life. But he couldn't just hold onto something that was never going to happen forever, right? What would he do?

He needed to hide away.

He needed to stay away from Jay as best as he could.

He hated hurting Jay and he couldn't bare to do it anymore so the only logical thing to do would be to avoid him. His friendship with Jay was so, so important to him but he didn't want to risk hurting him again. Jay was the most amazing guy he'd ever met and he deserved the world, not pain. And as long as Cole stuck around, Jay's life would be a living hell. It hurt to think about what life could be like without Jay but he had no other option.

Those two knew more about each other than they did themselves. Cole knew all about Jay being adopted and what happened in the alternate timeline and Jay knew all about Cole's mom. They were inseparable. Nothing would tear them apart. Except Cole. He was the only one who could tear them apart and he already had.

Jay probably thought he was stupid. Every time Cole tried to get close to him, it just hurt. Jay always ended up pushing him away. And every time it happened, the more tears that would fall (and not from Jay...). Cole was heartless. He was cold. He didn't really care about Jay because if he did, he wouldn't be doing any of this. He would've thought about it first. 

He didn't blame Jay. Not even a little. All Cole wished for was that he was good enough for him. But he would never be.