TWENTY-FOUR | 3/3/16

WE AVOID THE subject all together. We don't hear about it, we don't speak about it, we don't even think about it.

Except, I do. Except, Harrison does.

We're in denial.

Although Harrison told me that his ideal choice to mend things with his parents and brothers, we both know that it's been too late to do anything about it. Within this past month, we've somehow come to terms with it. Still, it pains me to see my boyfriend hurting every day because this is his family, no matter how much they've hurt him and set him aside. Thankfully, Harrison had his college work to busy his mind, and he had me to keep him strong when his mindset was weak.

However, tonight, we're both in Cherryhill for spring break. There is no distance between him and his family now, and it turns Harrison's mood sour.

"Harrison, you can talk to me," I say soothingly, sitting down beside him as he rubs his tired eyes, "It's been tough, I know, but please don't shut down on me."

"I know," he says, fiddling with the couch in my living room.

"And we've got to face anything that's thrown our way. People talk."

"I know."

"Maybe you should get some rest before we do any--"

"I know," he snaps, holding his head in his hands. He looks frustrated with everything, "Just stop coddling me. I'm not a fucking child, and you're not my mother nor my therapist--"

I don't know why anger flares through my body, especially knowing that I should be calm in these kind of situations. However, there was residing anger in my veins from everything else, causing me to act differently.

"Fine," I say in a clipped tone, standing up and gathering my things strewn across the coffee table, "I won't. Just do me a favor and call me when you've stopped acting like asshole to people who're only trying to help. I'm going to take a walk."

I feel him quickly grasp my wrist, and when I turn to look back, there's a pained expression on his face that makes all the fury freeze over, "Arden, don't leave, please. I'm sorry."

This is another new thing about Harrison. I've never heard him plead like that, and it makes me feel guilty for lashing out at him, "I-- I didn't mean to lash out. I just got angry."

"No," he shakes his head, his whole demeanor completely crestfallen, "I lashed out when I shouldn't have. You were just being there for me, and I was being a jerk."

"Kind of," I agree with a weary smile.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes again, running his fingers through his black hair, "Nothing in my life is stable. If you left, I'd have no one to pick up the pieces. I'd be a lost cause."

"Don't say that, Harrison," I urge, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, "You'd still have a life to live with people to meet and connect with. Nothing is ever too bad or too good."

"Yeah," he breathes, resting his forehead against my shoulder and pulling me closer to his warm body, "And it all comes back to the middle."

•••

I MAKE A split decision, something that I'm apparently really good at doing. What I do may go really well or really bad, but like Harrison said, it all comes back to middle. So, I decide to drive to the Gage household without Harrison knowing. I told him that I was going to run some errands -- a pathetic excuse to get away -- and that he should catch up on his sleep.

I vaguely remember how to get to his house, but after a few wrong turns, I finally manage to pull into the sinuous driveway of the mansion. I don't even know what I'm going to say once I see his parents. I don't even know if they're home or on some fancy business trip, oblivious to the damage they've done. I don't know if Lucas or Nathan are there either. Anything could possibly happen.

I ring the doorbell, anxiously waiting for someone to answer and feeling so tiny compared to the building.

Eventually, the door opens, revealing Nate Gage. He looks annoyed at the mere fact that he had to open the door, but his expression quickly turns impassive when he sees me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to all of you," I say, crossing my arms in a hopefully intimidating way. I don't break my gaze away from his cold glare, causing him to finally relent and let me inside.

"Are your parents home?"

He ignores the question, "What the hell do you want?"

"I need to talk to all of you," I repeat slowly, trying my best to keep all my anger in. I don't want to be rude, especially since it will mean that I've stooped down to their level, "Please."

Nate finally gives in and gathers the rest of his family. While he does that, I awkwardly sit in the living room, feeling like a blemish in the picture perfect room. I examine the room, noticing family portraits that looks too stiff and fake. Everything about their life is so plastic and shiny, and it puts an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.

When they come downstairs, there's a painful silence. I stand up to greet them, but Lucas doesn't meet my eyes and Mr. and Mrs. Gage disregard my attempt to start things off with a good note.

"Hi," I still say, "I'm Arden Banks, Harrison's girl--"

"I don't have time for this," Mrs. Gage complains, "What do you want? Money? Harrison to leave you alone?"

"I'm not here for any of that," I say in a tight voice, wondering how there could be people who are so ignorant of everything, "I need to set something straight, okay? I know you won't appreciate what I have to say, but can you all get your shit together?"

My word choice noticeably stuns them, cuing me to continue on, addressing the brothers, "Lucas and Nate, Harrison is your brother. What happened to the times you all used to be so close? Tell me what could have possibly driven you to betray your own brother. You shouldn't be fucking jealous of each other! You should be encouraging one another and helping them out in times of need."

"Listen--"

"No," I finally snap, "It's your turn to listen. Mr. and Mrs. Gage, I don't doubt that you're both successful people and want the best for your children. You don't want to see them arrested several times for doing stupid things, I get that. However, Harrison did this to get you to notice him as himself. Still, you never gave him, or possibly any of your children, any time of the day. What did you expect to happen?"

The words just stream out of my mouth, throwing reason after reason at them.

"Harrison is a great person, but you're to blinded to actually see that! The false accusations, high expectations that can't be fulfilled, records aren't the only things that make him up. He's got his own dreams and aspirations and ideas of everything and anything. I just wish you'd understand that you can't push him away for only being himself."

I finish off with a deep breath. I just made my final move, doing as much as I could, but it solely depends on their decision and their final move.

_______________________________

Lol, i bet none of what Arden said made sense.

But this chapter is loaded, yeah?

••• IMPORTANT •••
OKAY, SO if you don't know already, I'm planning to rewrite this book after I finish it. AND I PLAN ON MAKING MAJOR MAJOR MAJOOOOOR CHANGES. It'll literally be like an alternate universe -- there's that may changes. But, I think you'll still like it. AND I will still have the original version published, but idk if I will keep it public or private.

I HOPE YOU ALL READ THAT.

LOVE YOU!

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--thyselves