The rain was pouring. My tears were flowing, too. It seemed like the weather reflected my mood. I was mad—angry—annoyed all at myself. Izumi left the house. And I knew...I knew something wasn't right. There was something she wasn't saying. Going to a convenience store in all black? Really? I'm not dumb. I can figure it out; she's going to do something in the underworld. Something that could shatter everything if no one was ready for it. 

And me? I'm doing nothing—because I'm not part of that world. I never have been, and I pray I never will be. But that doesn't stop the helplessness from swallowing me whole. So here I am, sitting alone, tears streaming down my face, feeling the weight of it all press against my chest. It's not my world, but the pain? The fear? That's mine, and it's suffocating. Just because of my fucking member leaving. Leaving to do something illegal.  I cry because I can't fix it, because I'm powerless, because sometimes, all you can do is break down and hope the pieces find a way to fit back together. 

Soon, my sobs quieted, and my breathing steadying. That's when I noticed them—boots. Male. Black combat boots paired with black leather pants. I didn't bother looking up. Whoever it was could just leave me alone. But, of course, they didn't. My hood got lifted, and I felt a flicker of irritation. So much for staying invisible.

I slowly raised my gaze, more out of defiance than curiosity. My puffy, red eyes must've screamed how little I wanted to deal with anyone right now. But then I saw it—sincerity. Genuine concern etched into his face. It was in his eyes speaking louder than any words. And as much as I wanted to shrug it off, to pretend I didn't care, that look had a way of slipping past my defenses.

"Jiji..." 

"Lee Know..." I whispered, barely raising my voice. He kneeled down to my eye level. "Whatcha doing out here? It's dangerous...you know that."

"Izu- Izumi....," I stuttered, crying.

"What about her?"

"She just... She just.... left." I sobbed, "She said she wouldn't... wouldn't go out tonight. But now... she's... gone." My uneven breathing resumed. Who knew that I would break down so easily. 

"Ji..." he sighed and took a seat next to me on the staircase. 

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"It's alright. C'mon. There's something I need to tell you, and it would be better if I told you...in a place where no one can hear us. But first...maybe you should clean yourself up."

"...Okay," I muttered, my voice barely audible. My feet dragged as I shuffled down the hall and into the dorm Kims and I shared. The familiar scent of lavender from her diffuser greeted me faintly, but it did little to lift the weight pressing on my chest.

I pushed open the door to my room, its quiet creak filling the stillness. Dropping my bag to the floor, I headed straight for the bathroom, flipping on the light. The glow illuminated the cool, white tiles and the small, cluttered counter.

I turned on the faucet, the water rushing out with a low hiss as I let it pool into my hands. Splashing it onto my face, the coolness startled me but brought a momentary relief. I reached for the soap, lathering it between my hands before gently massaging the frothy suds over my skin. The clean, eucalyptus scent was calming, washing away the lingering sting of tears.

With a soft towel, I patted my face dry, the fabric soaking up the dampness. I opened a small jar of moisturizer and smoothed a thin layer onto my skin. The cool cream felt grounding, a ritual that steadied my restless thoughts.

Exhaling, I moved back to my desk. The light from a streetlamp outside cast an orange glow over the cluttered surface. I pulled out a stack of sticky notes, their edges slightly frayed from use. Uncapping a pen, I scribbled down a quick note for Kims.

She needed to know where I was going—it wasn't much, but it was better than leaving without a word. As the pen scratched across the paper, it felt like a small act of reassurance, a lifeline tethering me to something steady in a world that felt anything but.

"Ji~!" he called.

"I'm coming! Gimme a sec!"

"GIMME GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNOIGHT!" he laughed.

"Oh, shut up, will you?" I laughed as I came, skipping a few steps. We headed towards his dorm with the glow from the streetlights illuminating the streets. The walk was quick, and once we headed into the Stray Kids' dorm room, it was chaos.

"Changbinnie! Where did you put the toothpaste?!" Felix yelled across the hallway. I should've known this would happen, but...here we are. 

"YOU FIGURE THAT OUT!" Changbin barked as he started twerking his butt...in the mirror's face. 

"GUYS SHUT UP!" Chan screamed, "Stop having fights with each other for no apparent reason! OMG THEY'RE BACK!"

"Who's back?" Jisung inquired. I mentally did a facepalm. He's so oblivious.

"Lee Know hyung, dummy!" Hyunjin yelled, "And Jiyoungie!"

"And I have come back from...something that shall not be disclosed!" he triumphantly exclaimed. Silence came from the whole group.

"ANYWAYS, where is Channie hyung?" Innie asked with such an innocent pout on his face.

"No clue... I haven't seen him," Jisung shrugged nonchalantly, twirling a pen between his fingers. Then, as if struck by lightning, his eyes widened. "FELIX, THE BROWNIES!"

"OH SHOOT! MY BROWNIE BROWNIES!" Felix shrieked, bolting to the oven like a man on a mission. He yanked it open, a blast of heat greeting him, and scrambled to rescue the tray. Miraculously, only a few had slightly charred edges. Honestly, I was impressed—Felix couldn't cook to save his life, yet somehow he'd managed not to burn the whole batch.

"FfFeEeLlLiIiXxX~" Hyunjin whined dramatically, flopping onto the couch like he'd just lost a loved one. "You burnt three! THREE~!"

"SHUT UP! This is such a disgrace!" Felix bellowed, throwing an arm over his forehead like a tragic Shakespearean hero.

"Not compared to the waffle incident..." Seungmin muttered under his breath, just loud enough to be heard.

Felix froze. "Oh no, no, no! We are NOT bringing that up!" he yelled, lunging at Seungmin, who had already armed himself with a hyper-realistic plastic knife.

Seungmin grinned like a villain in a drama. "I would be very careful if I were you..." he taunted, holding the knife with mock menace.

"SEUNGMIN! Lee Know hyung, help me!" Felix screeched as he darted around the kitchen island, narrowly avoiding Seungmin's "knife of doom."

Lee Know's voice floated from the other room, completely unbothered. "You'll be fine. Man up."

Meanwhile, I was doubled over, laughing so hard my ribs hurt. This was pure chaos, and I was living for it.

"HAJIMA! SHUT UP, YOU IDIOTS!" Changbin roared from the other side of the room. He hurled a couch pillow across the room with all the fury of a starving man. "I'M HUNGRY, AND I CAN'T FIND ANY FOOD!"

"Changbin, you dramatic fool, stop throwing pillows like they're going to magically lead you to the fridge!" I shouted through my laughter, but before I could say more, I saw him rummaging under the couch cushions. Why? I have no idea.

"YOOOOOOO!" I bellowed, standing to make my presence known. "JIYOUNG IN THE HOUSE, AND IF Y'ALL DON'T CUT THIS CRAP, I SWEAR I WILL START RAPPING ANGRILY, AND YOU KNOW YOU DON'T WANT THAT!"

The room fell silent in an instant. Everyone froze, staring at me like I was a bomb about to go off. They all knew the drill—when I got mad, I talked ridiculously fast, and it freaked them out because they couldn't understand a single word.

"Ji~ Pleeeeease no!" Jisung begged, pulling out his best puppy-dog eyes.

Felix, still clutching the tray of brownies, groaned. "Jiyoung, don't scare us like that! I already have enough stress trying to avoid death by plastic knife!"

Seungmin twirled the fake knife and smirked. "The plastic knife's always watching, Felix."

Changbin flopped onto the couch dramatically, his stomach growling like a monster. "Seriously, where's the food, Jiyoung? You can't yell at us on an empty stomach either!"

I sighed and shook my head, grabbing a brownie from Felix's tray and tossing it at Changbin. "Eat this, you baby. And stop acting like you're in a survival show!"

"I AM in a survival show," Changbin retorted with a full mouth, "called 'Surviving You Lot!'"

Cue the collective groans. This group was impossible. But, honestly? I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Ey, no Sungie! Don't pout! Noooo!" I exclaimed covering my eyes, "SOMEONE SAVE MY EYES!" 

"Um, nah..." Lee Know smirked. Suddenly, I felt someone's arms wrap around my waist, and I couldn't help but smile. I was familiar with these arms, so I could only predict who it was: Hyunjinie. 

"Ew, both of you get a room! Couples are *gross*," Seungmin sighed. 

"Hahahahahh," Everyone laughed, while some were on the floor laughing so hard, and Innie literally spat out the water that was in his mouth. It was chaos. But, really, where was Channie oppa?

"Hi guys, I'm back—what the heck..." Channie paused mid-step, taking in the aftermath of the chaos as he walked into the room.

"Where were you, Oppa? And of course, you walk in right after the storm," I laughed, trying to catch my breath from the earlier madness.

"Just my luck, huh?" he said with a weak smile, running a hand through his hair. "I was at the recording studio."

I tilted my head slightly, watching him closely. That smile of his didn't fool me. He was hiding something—I could always tell when someone wasn't being completely honest. But I decided not to press him on it, at least not now. Instead, I just nodded and let it go, accepting his explanation for being out so late.

"Jiyoungie and Hyunjin, c'mon. I got something to tell you both. NO JISUNG YOU CANNOT COME, OR FELIX NONE OF YOU NAUR!" Lee Know yelled, and pulled us both into his room by the wrist. What was this all about? I thought it was only for me? On the other hand, Hyunjin was freaking out. I could tell. He probably thought something along the lines that he was in trouble. 

"Uh...hyung? Am I in trouble?" Hyunjin nervously asked.

"Only if you choose to," he smirked. That did not make him feel any better. He shut the door, locked it and sat on the bed. This made the atmosphere...have a hint more of a hostile environment.

"So, I pulled you both to talk about your future,"

"Why?" we asked in unison.

"Because you both are mafias,"

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a/n: Guys is this cruel to leave y'all on a cliffhanger? Well...probably yeah cuz school starts AGAIN on Monday...LIKE I LUV MY bREAK DON'T MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!!!! Anyways, salut, and the reason why my posting this week was kinda inconsistent on when I posted was cuz I was in London, BUT I PROMISE NEXT WEEK IT WILL BE LESS INCONSISTENT! ALSO, I'm gonna try and change the cover cuz I realized it does not match my story whatsoever...eheh.... HAPPY NEW YEARRRR BYEEEE