Emerald POV

I sighed for what felt like the millionth time today. It's Sunday morning and after an entire weekend of exhausting procrastination, I've finally decided to start my Advanced Music Theory project; which happened to be due tomorrow. The task was to compose, write and record a song about the topic of your choice; that you would perform in front of the entire class. Naturally, when I work I tend to arrange the composition first and let the words come to me, but today I'm just not feeling it.

The music was loud as the beat flowed through my ears. I slowly tapped my pen in rhythm with the beat as I starred at the scrambled words on my page.

It's not that I'm afraid
How many times can I see your face?
How many times will you walk away?
And I have to be honest with you baby
Tell me if I'm wrong, and this is crazy

I reread the lyrics over and over and although I could see the potential, I was frustrated because I been at this for about two hours and all I have is a couple of random thoughts. Frustrated with myself I decided that it was time for a break. I grabbed my phone and logged into my IG account. As soon as I logged in I noticed I had about 50 new follow request and about 30 DM's and 10 comment notifications. I ignored most of them because only one really mattered. It was an DM from Ruby.

@RubyRed: what's up with ur girl...do I need to fly back out there😡👊🏼

I honestly had no idea what she was talking about. I mean we weren't on the best of terms but it wasn't anything to serious, I thought as I replied.

@NewYorkEmmy: WTH are you talking about🙄

I immediately saw she was replying.

@RubyRed: Check ur girl page 👀👀

Not bothering with a reply I immediately typed in Ivy's user name. At that particular moment I experienced an out of body experience as several emotions courses through me at once. Shock, Denial, Anger, and most important and probably the strongest was Betrayal. The image on my screen was nothing but disappointing. I rolled my eyes as, I read and re-read the caption over and over.

@MissIvyIfYaNasty: Thankx to everyone for coming to support me! but a huge thanks to @AnthonyConnollyArtist for everything you've done for me. I couldn't have done it without you (literally since it was your show 🤣😂) The support means everything #My1stArtShowing #MamaIMadeIt

'Wow' was all I could say.  First of all, there's no way this picture can even begin to be interpreted as 'friendly'. Secondly, last time I checked I was the one who pushed and encouraged her to open up about her art. I was the one who spent weeks, months, convincing her that her art was good enough and deserved to be seen. Thirdly, why the hell did she not tell me about her art being featured. She knows me therefore she knows no matter what I would be there for her. She knows that even with me not caring for Anthony, I would have sucked up my pride and supported her. Hell, I love her. I would have been the loudest one there, directing everyone over to her piece. Hell, I would have been the highest bidder, but she didn't even give me the opportunity.

As I sat there and analyzed every inch of the picture more feelings hit me. Regret, was the strongest because if it wasn't for me she wouldn't know Anthony. If I hadn't planned that event, we wouldn't be here. I then felt remorse because I single handedly pushed the girl I loved into the arms of another man. Insecurity, hit the hardest. Even though I had no proof that anything happened, that picture caused a downward spiral of endless scenarios to run through my mind. 'Why wasn't I good enough,' 'How stupid was I to believe she loved me,' were all thoughts running rampage in my head. I guess I should have heeded all those warnings. 'She'll hurt you!' 'don't trust her!' 'she only cares about herself!' 'She only loves herself!' 'She will take and take and drop you when she gets everything she wants!' Is what they said and right now I guess they were right.

Revenge, is what caused me to rip the page from my notebook. I balled it up and chucked it into the trash can as I hopped up and headed to my laptop. I went to my MTProject file and completely deleted it. I immediately started to create a melody on my piano. Once I found the melody I was looking for I quickly wrote it down on a music sheet. I played it over and over, ripped paper, tons of scrapped and scratch out lines, I finally had something that could be classified as a first verse. I quickly hit record. I began to play the cords and laid down verse one:

This is a shout out to my ex
Heard she in love with some other boy
Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I'll admit
Forget that girl, I'm over it
I hope he gettin' better sex
Hope he ain't fakin' it like I did, babe
Took far too long to call it quits
Forget that girl, I'm over it

After that I began to scribble down a pre chorus:

Guess I should say thank you
For the hate yous and the tattoos
Oh baby, I'm cool by the way
Ain't sure I loved you anyway
Go 'head, babe, I'mma live my life, my life, yeah

And from there it all just started to flow. I finished up my recording, added a few minor tweaks and sent a copy of the file to my professor. After I finished my Aunt called me down for lunch. I spent the rest of my day locked in my room listening to my break up playlist because as far as I was concerned, Ivy and I were officially over and come tomorrow she would literally hear all about it. I grabbed my phone snapped a pic and posted it.

Liked by: RubyRed, DJSmoove, tee_tee and 33,500 others
@NewYorkEmmy: Tomorrow Music Theory Class finna b lit 😏🤘🏽🔥🔥 #SOTME

—skip to next day—

I woke up feeling tired and completely drained but I soldiered on. After I completed my morning hygiene routine, I headed downstairs, grabbed an apple, and headed to my car. Throughout the entire twenty minute drive to school I kept going back and forth between going through with my plan or changing the song.

It wasn't until I walked into school and I saw Ivy laughing and joking around as if she had no care in the world that I decided to stick to my plan. I walked into my AP history class  and took my seat. 'Hey, Em how was ur weekend,' Blake asked as she plopped down in her seat next to me. I rolled my eyes because she knew all about Ivy's art being show cased and like always she took Ivy side. I know she's Ivy's best friend but we bonded and she is the closest friend I have here, so naturally I feel a little betrayed. I continued to ignore her as we both pulled out our notebooks. 'Hey, you okay?' She asked as she paused what she was doing. We had about fifteen minutes before Mr. H showed up.

I sighed, 'You know what? I'm not okay! Why didn't you tell me about Ivy's event this weekend and why didn't you tell me Ivy has feelings for Anthony. All this time you kept telling me it wasn't like that and Ivy loves you Em, but I smell a big pile of bull shit because based on the pic Ivy posted this weekend, they look hella 'friendly', I said as I placed air quotes around the word friendly. Blake's facial expression went from shocked to remorseful as she starred at me. 'Look, Em it's not...Morning class pulls out your text books today we will be starting on chapter 8' Mr. H said successfully cutting Blake off.

I ignored Blake as she continued to try and whisper to me. After about 10 minuets of being ignored she finally gave up. And that's how the rest of the day went; she would try to speak to me in every class but I would ignore her. Finally, it was time for my Music Theory class but surprisingly as I reached the classroom, I noticed the people surrounding my he door. I spotted Lacy, 'hey,what's going on?' I asked. She waved, 'Nothing much class is in the auditorium today,' she said as we both walked off.

As we entered the auditorium we noticed there were several classes occupying many seats. Mr. Payne motioned for Lacy and I to head downstairs were the rest of our classmates sat. We hurriedly made it downstairs and sat in two empty seats on the first row. I glanced around the room and noticed that about a third of the auditorium was filled. i sighed because at this moment I knew we would have to perform in front of them. Now, I wasn't nervous but i knew this performance would hurt Ivy and as much as I was hurting yesterday, I don't know if I could hurt her like this.

Mr. Payne, clearing his voice into the microphone interrupted my thoughts as he spoke, 'Evening y'all, i have a treat for you all today as my Advanced music theory class has been assigned to not only create but to produce a song about any topic. Now, they didn't know they would have to perform there track but I would be me, if I didn't throw a curve ball. So first up is a group of five amazing girls singing That's My Girl.' I watched in awe as Camila, Dinah, Lauren, Normani, and Ally killed the stage. The entire arrangement was perfect. The song ended and everyone cheered and screamed as the girls each took a bow. The performances went one by one as varied solo, duet and groups performed songs of all genres. Finally after Lacy and Brody rocked the crowed with their song OMG, my name was called.

'You got this superstar,' Lacy said as she handed me the mic. I walked into the stage and looked out at the crowed. It was like a magnet as my eyes landed on the one person who has single handedly caused me so much pain. She gave me a thumbs up and in that moment the track began to play.

'this is a shout-out to my ex,' I began as the crowd gasped.
(emeralds performance, just changed the he to she 😆)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

My performance ended and I could feel all eyes on me as silenced filled the room. Suddenly, the room erupted in applause but all I could focus on was Ivy's retreating figure as she stormed out of the auditorium, with a disappointed looking Blake following closely behind.

'Man I fucked up,' I thought as I left the stage and took my seat.

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Sorry it's late and probably not great but I'm back and hope You enjoyed anyway. This is not where I saw this going but it just happened! By the way if you haven't you should def check out Demi Lovato's new album it is amazing her best yet and I'll def be in concert next year when she hit up DC. Cannot wait. Love you guys and as usual, comment & vote🗳

Layla😘