Her room is still the same since the last time he was here. All covered in white and purple, her favorite color. She was laying there. Sleeping peacefully. He sits beside her bed. There was a note in her bedside table.

I promise you'll never see me again. Like you asked me too.

What is she talking about? He tried to hold her hand. And he realized she wasn't sleeping. It was bleeding and no heartbeat.

No..no...no...please don't go! I still need you Choi Sooji!!

Shihyun wakes up with his heart pounding in his chest. Cold sweats damped his forehead. He fumbled in the dark trying to find his phone. He opened the browser and start typing CHOI SOO JI. The most recent article that showed up was a week ago about her upcoming solo concert next month.

"She's alive...she's okay...she's alive...she's okay...", Shihyun repeated those words like a mantra. "It's just a dream....". He looked at the clock, it was 2 am in the morning. It's his birthday. He's never celebrated his birthday again since 6 years ago.

Because it was too painful. It reminds him of all the wrong thing he did. And now he should face the consequences. Losing the most precious thing he has ever had. He didn't even realize he has it till it's gone.

He thought losing Tae hee was the biggest punishment he could get. But he was wrong. Tae hee was like a vacation from his messed up life. She came at the right time when he needed a place to escape. Escape from fucked up reality he faced. She offered him a clean slate. A new life. Everything looks different when he was with her. Prettier. Kinder.

Tae hee was the closest thing he could feel as normal. Yes, taehee has a trauma, and her mom leave her because she fell in love with his dad, still, her mom and dad loves her. But it was nothing compared to what he, Sooji and Sejoo have been through.

His mom died knowing his father never loved her. She tricked his father to think that he wasn't his son just to hurt him. And his father despised him so much because of that. Shi Hyun's really didn't know who's to blame.

Sejoo. His mom was in a coma and he was beaten every day by his own family. He loved his best friend even if she didn't love him back. He just a kid living in a home without love and he still can get through his life trying to make him and Sooji laughs. Shi Hyun was just beaten once by his dad and cry like a baby. How pathetic he was. If he was going through what Sejoo's going through he sure as hell he'll turn psycho. And he hit him. Just because Sejoo's telling the truth. He beat his friend. His best friend. Just for a girl, he knew for a few months. He'll never forgive himself for that.

Choi Soo Ji. How can he even describe her? Before everything happened. She's a smart girl. Full of life. She has the brightest smile. Her eyes always told the truth. She's a girl who believes in fairytale and a happy ending. But she saw with her own eyes how her mom abandon his father when he went to prison. She got bullied as the daughter of a prisoner. She lost her father and her mother at the same time. Because her mother buried herself with work, to make sure she could live a life she has before. Even though all Sooji wanted was her mom's love.

She was angry with the world. Feeling unwanted. She was broken. She was just trying to protect her heart by being a cold woman. She thought that way nobody could hurt her again. He and sejoo were the only one she has. The only one who accepted her as she is. But in the end, he was the one who hurt her the most. He asked her to leave.

And as a boy who never had someone so normal, Shihyun was holding on to Taehee like she was the only thing that matter. But tae hee was not his home. Never is and never was. And he realized that when it was too late. He lost his friend. His home. He lost the one that truly matters.

He could run to them and beg for their forgiveness. But he knew, he didn't deserve that. He still remembered clearly what Sejoo said when he woke up from the coma.

"Congratulation!!! You really did a good job ruining Sooji's life just to save your precious love for Taehee! I am the one who told Taehee about our bet to safe OUR FRIENDSHIP!!! and Sooji, the one you think that messed up and evil, was the one who takes the blame because she didn't want you to hate me! She thinks she didn't deserve to live because she ruined everyone life just because she didn't want to lose us! She never blamed you for lying to her...she blamed herself...Do you think you're done with us? You know what?! I am done holding on to our friendship! You don't deserve us! May your life full of happiness!!! And don't you dare hurt Sooji again!", Sejoo throws the photo of the three of them in a broken frame to his lap and leave.

And you thought Shihyun realize his lost after that? Of course not. He was stupid. He still thought that the ache in his heart was because he missed Taehee. Because he lost her. The love of her life.

But when he starts unconsciously searching a long-haired girl with a purple cello case between the crowd, start dreaming her sad smile, start hearing her nagging in his head whenever he did something stupid. He realized, he didn't even miss taehee that much. Taehee wasn't the one that makes his heart ache for missing something.

One day he asked his father about Sooji. Her dad and Sooji's mom ended their wedding plan in a good term. And ironically they still befriend.

"Dad...do you know where Sooji is?"

His dad sigh. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not..."

"Huh? Wae?"

"After seeing you in a coma....she tried to...cut herself...and she almost dies...she falls into a coma for a few days too.."

"What?!", she tried to kill herself again. "Why was nobody telling me this before?!"

"Because you were not in a good shape back then...and I thought you hate her for ruining Taehee's life..."

"She wasn't the one to blame Dad...it was me all along..."

That's the day he starts getting that horrible dream. Sooji was lying lifeless. In her bed. Because he hurt her. And nothing he could do because it was too late.

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Ps : Sorry if the story little bit weird. This is what I wanted to happen when Shihyun lost his friend. 😅