After a weekend filled with long conversations, deep thoughts, and a few nights of restless sleep, Jake was ready to get back to work on Monday morning. He walked through the doors of Brennan, his coffee mug in his hand and a smile on his face as he walked down the hall.

"Hey Coach Jake," Parker said as Jake passed him by while at his locker.

"Hey, 22! What's going on?" Jake had started calling Fox by his number and it was a little special gig for just the two of them. Ever since tryouts, Jake had felt attached to Parker more than any of the other kids. He didn't know why but Nick was always throwing the theory around that Jake saw himself in Parker- a young and fundamentally sound shortstop who could be going places.

"Not much. Got math this morning," Parker said as he groaned.

Jake laughed, "I hated it too but it'll help in the future"

Jake's phone rang just then and it was Nick.

And that worried Jake.

Ever since Jake knew Nick, he loved his sleep. Even in college when you mentioned the word sleep to somebody, they would cock their head at you, Nick still slept in or slept at all as much as he could. So for him to be calling at 7 in the morning was pretty unusual.

"Sorry, I've got to take this. Have a good day, 22. See you at practice later"

Parker gave him a smile and a wave as Jake opened the double doors and made his way down the hall, answering his phone.

"Hey"

"Hey," Nick said and Jake could tell instantly something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked, trying to make Nick get to the point fast.

He heard Nick sigh on the other side of the phone and a few rustling papers. "So, I've just been going over our budget papers and there's something up. I can't tell what it is but the figures aren't calculating out"

Jake frowned when he heard that. Nick was the math whiz friend in the friendship and Jake was grateful for that. So, even when he asked if Nick had checked it twice, he already knew what the answer would be.

"Of course," Nick said.

"Alright. So what exactly isn't matching up? And hold on a sec, I'm transferring you to my office phone"

There was a soft hum in the air as the phone switched over. "Alright, go ahead"

"So, the numbers for fundraisers aren't matching at all. And I can't help but think Lane could have something to do with this. And that's not all, actually. We're like almost $500 short of the budget quota"

Jake almost spit out his coffee. $500??

"Why didn't you lead with that? How in the world did that happen?" he asked Nick, incredulously.

"I have no idea but what I do know is that Brennan baseball has to hold some fundraisers or else," Nick trailed off as Jake nodded.

"Or the best thing we ever knew is over as soon as it started," Jake said, grimly.

Jake shuffled through the papers one more time and rubbed his eyes. He had been looking at these sheets for almost three hours now and was getting nowhere, except maybe an Olympic award in coffee drinking. After he had hung up the phone with Nick, Jake had told him to get over to Brennan and let him see these papers.

It was even worse than Jake had anticipated.

The budget papers were a list of things that every club or organization, and that included sports, had to do to meet a group goal of almost $1,000 a year for the school.

Which meant Brennan was $500 deep...

Jake was being introduced to the rules the hard way. And it didn't help that he kept getting interrupted. After he heard a knock on his door for the third time that day, he just rested his head on the desk and said, "Come in," knowing it was probably Sam Adair with something to tell Jake.

Jake was honestly shocked that he had more work to do than Adair.

The door creaked open and to Jake's surprise, it was Riley. His face lit up as he stood up from his chair.

"Hi, pretty," he said, kissing her. "What are you doing here?"

"Nick told me that you could probably use a break so I'm here to take you out to lunch," she said proudly.

Jake smiled and shook his head. "Oh Nick, what would I ever do without him," he thought silently. "I would love a break. My head is spinning from all these numbers," he scoffed to Riley. "Let me grab my phone and sign out so nobody tries to come to find me for the next hour"

Jake grabbed his phone and Riley's hand, pushing open the door and walking into the office.

"Hey Jake," Amber said from under the counter. "Oh! Is this your girlfriend? She's beautiful! Hi, I'm Amber," she stuck her hand out to Riley who smiled and shook it.

"Nice to meet you," she said.

And of course, that wasn't the end of it.

Sam Adair entered the office and wanted to meet Riley so fifteen minutes later Jake and Riley actually made it to the car. Jake closed the door and sighed, a hand rubbing his forehead.

"Wow. Now I see why Nick has trouble seeing you at school during the week other than at practice," Riley snickered as she looked incredulously into the distance.

"I know, seriously," Jake said, laughing with her. "But they're awesome. They welcomed me with open arms and I'm grateful," he added, leaning his seat back and turning on his engine. He kissed Riley and smiled at her, running a hand through his hair.

"So," Jake said, grinning at Riley. "Where are we going?"

"Where else?" she said, smiling back.

That afternoon, Jake's budget problems were forgotten... For the time being. It was still a thought in the back of his mind. And he knew he absolutely had to fix it...

Or else he was done.

"Gloves on the ground, remember guys?" Jake said, hitting a fly ball to Logan in left field. As it went behind him, Jake dropped his head. "And apparently I forgot to mention that it doesn't apply to fly balls," he said, adjusting his hat. As they waited for the ball to make its way back in, Nick tossed Jake another one that he swung and whiffed at.

"Ah," he said, trying again, getting it perfect... As it went over Wayne Tricker's head.

"First step back, remember, Trick?" Jake yelled out. He nodded as Jake hit a ground ball to Parker. "You better know by now," Jake mumbled as Nick looked at him.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?" Jake asked, hitting another ball.

"I don't know. You just seem super tense again. Like this past weekend"

"What? I can't get stressed?" Jake asked, hitting a sky-high fly ball. Nick watched it as he looked back at Jake.

"That's not what I said. Just seems that you have a lot on your mind recently and if it's possible, would you let me in to help you?" Nick asked, treading lightly on the topic.

It was a sore subject. Letting people help him was not something Jake was known as being open-armed for. It wasn't that he despised all help, he just didn't like feeling like that. Needing to ask someone for help for his own problems?

"I don't know. You could if you want to. But I don't need any help," Jake said.

"Damn," Nick thought. "It's always so hard to get inside his head"

He watched Jake hit another ground ball as it slid gracefully into Parker Fox's glove and he fired to Pete Rolfo. Jake nodded his appreciation.

"Alright, let's turn two," Jake said.

Now that idea of Jake's might have been the awakening he needed.

He hit a bouncer to Logan at third and watched incredulously as he swiftly moved past Parker and took it to the bag himself, firing to first. Jake leaned his weight against his bat, Nick ready to catch him if he fainted.

And Jake was pretty sure he was going to - or at least fall over.

"Logan! Alright, my middle infield guys and my corners, we gotta talk about what just happened"

The kids walked to Jake as he just shook his head.

"Why do we try to make double plays in baseball?" he asked, crisply.

Silence.

"Ever heard of the double plays being called " the pitcher's best friend?" Jake asked.

They all shook their heads.

"Of course you haven't. Just another thing Lane didn't teach you"

Jake stopped dead in his tracks when he realized what he had just said.

What he had just done.

He just ate his own words.

The words had just slipped right out. There had never been deader silence in a baseball field ever.

"Uh, I just... Need a minute," Jake said hurriedly, opening the gate and walking down the hill. Nick gave the team a look and glanced around.

"Parker! You're in charge. I'll be right back"

Nick hurried after Jake, honestly worried. He knew Jake had been having a rough couple of days and he couldn't help but think he was part of the problem, telling him about the budget. But he had to push that out of his mind now and just listen.

Jake had walked to the other field, the one he had asked Riley to be his girlfriend on. He was leaning over the fence, his back to Nick. Nick walked slowly up to him and threw his hands over the fence. They stood in silence for a few minutes until Nick spoke.

"This reminds me of that night before our first practice," he said, trying to force a smile in Jake's direction. Jake didn't return it.

"Yeah, me too. Life was so much easier then," he stated matter of factly. Nick looked him up and down as Jake looked out at the field.

"Baseball was easy then," Jake added. " I knew who I was. I... didn't have as much responsibility as I do now. I don't know what haunts me... The memories of how easygoing it was or... The happy person I was before all this"

"You don't think you're happy?" Nick asked softly.

"I mean, you think I am?" Jake asked, looking at Nick. "For the past few days, I've been nothing but a crashing and burning disaster. I just freaking ran away from my own baseball practice because I couldn't face the fact that I probably hurt them. You call that happy? Cause I don't."

Nick didn't know what to say at first. Jake had had some bouts with self-confidence and worrying but it had never actually got this bad. Nick, at one point or another, found himself comforting his friend, always at insane hours of the morning. And if it wasn't a phone call at 2 am, it was the rumbling of Jake's car outside Nick's window waking him up. Nick didn't mind the early hours if Jake was really struggling.

Nick would do anything for Jake. Literally, anything if it meant his friend was living his best life, happy.

"Jake, we aren't here in life to be happy 100% of the time. I know the other day Mac was sick and I was worried about her so you could say my happiness level was about 50%. Today, I was happy we had practice and I was excited to see you so my happiness level was higher. You can't judge how you feel on a day and then the next. It varies. And that's perfectly normal"

Jake clicked his tongue against his teeth and shook his head. "Of course I know that"

"Doesn't seem like you do, pal," Nick said, crossing his feet against the fence as he stood. "Jake, speaking from my experience because apparently, you can't see yourself through my eyes. I have never seen you happier than when we had those kids crowded around us for the first time. Never. I'm being truly and seriously honest, swear on my grave"

That last comment made Jake laugh and Nick was grateful for at least an infinitesimal possibility of cheering him up.

"Remember when Pete was talking over you that day and you just calmly told him to be quiet? I want that Jake back. I... want my best friend back," Nick said, smiling through his tears.

It was honestly breaking his heart to bits to hear how heavy of a burden Jake seemed to be carrying. If not, many burdens.

"You... are responsible for these kids, yes. I can't undermine the importance of that. But you can overprice the importance of it. And you have been doing that ever since they lost their first game. Jake, in no way, was that your fault. It doesn't decrease your value as a coach or as a person, for that matter. And it definitely doesn't give you the right to beat yourself into the ground because of it. At least, try not to for me? Because I see you as my best friend, my confidant, my rock, and honestly... My everything. I always think of that day when you were 13. You came running through my back gate, in tears. You remember why?"

"Because I missed you," Jake said, laughing softly.

"Exactly. You missed your best friend who was always right next door. I was working on our pool and you hugged me from behind and I never really told you this but... At that moment, I knew. I knew I could never lose you no matter what I did because if I did, I would have lost not only my everything... But my brother as well"

Jake looked at Nick directly for the first time since they had leaned against the fence. Nick opened his arms and they gave each other a hug.

A hug that resembled everything the championship game win at SJU felt like.

It reminded them of how much they loved each other.

And what really mattered in the game of baseball and on this journey of life.

Jake opened the fence gate, wiping his eyes of the tears that had leaked only a few minutes earlier, Nick doing the same.

"Hey guys," he said softly.

"Hi," Parker said as the rest of the team added in.

"I need to talk to you guys," Jake said, pulling up a bucket to sit on. Nick stood behind him, his hands shaking at his sides ready to provide Jake comfort if he needed it.

"These past few weeks I've been doing this all wrong. I... have been teaching you that your past is something to hate and something to forget. But we need to remember it. Because our happiness comes from our past- knowing how far we've come and knowing what we can be is gonna bring us the most joy. Like yours, my past was crappy. The moments I went through really sucked. But that's not the only thing they were. They did something for me. They made me strong. They taught me to love, to cherish, to hate, to be angry. All of these feelings that are part of life! They all came from my past. And they live in my present and hopefully reside in my future. What I'm saying is that from here on out, the name Rick Lane will be said. It will be remembered. But what will change is that it will be remembered with glee and with pride. Because he made us stronger. Because he broke us, we are united as a team"

Jake smiled as he watched the kids smile. He looked at Nick and winked.

"Time to turn it upside down, Brennan," Jake said, finally, finally, feeling like himself again.

"Game time is 4 tomorrow. Please come at 3 pm... If you can be here earlier, that would be great. Good practice. Let's come ready to play tomorrow. Break it down"

The team filed out of the dugout, Jake making a note of the time in his scorebook.

"Hey. Would you be interested in hanging out at Mac's house? Riley will be there. I know you haven't seen her in a while," Jake heard Nick say from behind him.

"Of course," he smiled and grabbed the handle of his bucket, taking one more look at the field.

"Till tomorrow," he thought.

Jake's keys jangled in his shorts pocket as he walked with Nick to their cars.

"How 'you feeling today?" Nick asked, turning his head toward his friend.

"Good. Better," Jake smiled. "I finally feel like myself for the first time in weeks"

Nick gave him a little side hug and smiled. "I'm so glad"

"You know... I never would have thought that I would pull out of that if I didn't have you," Jake mentioned.

Nick shook him off blushing.

"No, I'm serious. And... I want you to know this. No matter how close Riley and I are or will become, you will always be my favorite person in the world. The person who understands my sudden anxiety, ideas, and funny stories. No girl could ever take your place. No one guy even. No one"

"Aw shucks, buddy. I appreciate it. I feel the same way about you. And I hope you know I also feel the same way about Mac and me"

"I know," Jake said.

"Oh, so now you're a wise guy now," Nick joked.

"Last I heard you weren't the king of jokes," Jake said, nonchalantly.

"Oooh, you're gonna get it," Nick said as Jake took off running towards his car, laughing.

Add another memory to the baseball box.

The afternoon spent at Mac's house was another soul-cleansing activity for Jake. And honestly for Nick. Jake wasn't burdening Nick with his troubles but Nick had to admit, it was hard to listen that much over the course of a few days; feeling helpless as to how to make an impact.

But as Nick watched Jake kiss Riley on her cheek, looking at the smile on both their faces, he knew it was all gonna be okay.

Nick kissed Mac and hugged her as she looked up at him.

"You okay, Nicky?" she asked.

"I'm better than okay," he said, smiling at Jake. "Never been better"

And he really hadn't.