Broken soul

Gaster started running towards the river: he KNEW you would be there, it could be just like this.

His heart started racing as sweat fell from his skull.

Among the palaces, he could finally start seeing the river that you found comfort in.

"This place is special for me" you said "it's peaceful, isn't it? And look at the colours, they relax me a lot. Do they relax you?"

He started running faster now that he was near the river.

The sunset was about to take place.

"Please, tell me you are the-" but he cut himself off

He stopped running.

He was on the opposite sidewalk as he clenched his ribcage. Not in fatigue, but in heartbreaking.

On the sidewalk facing the river, holding the barricade, were you and Jack.

Your backs were turned, so you couldn't actually see him.

"W-why...why are you with him?" he thought, starting to feel a knot in his throat.

He couldn't hear (did he actually want to hear?) what you two were saying: he just stood there, pain flowing through all of his body.

A purple, glowing tear fell from his cheek, but wiped it immediately.

His ribcage, which was calm, was now trembling repeatedly, grasping for air.

He turned his back and faced the wall of the palace beside him, not to be seen by people: he didn't want to see bewildered looks on everybody else's face. Who knows, maybe they would have gotten your attention and you would have seen him like this.

Oh, that's right, you didn't even remember him. The only thing you could have done was simply worry and ask yourself if everything was okay, and not run in his arms and hug him.

He let out a shaky sob, and teleported as immediately as he could.

He fell on the floor of his and his sons' house, with a loud thud. Sans then got out of his bedroom to examine the source of the sound, and found his dad trying to control himself from bursting out.

"dad?!"

"Hah, hah...I should have expected i-it" he said as the knot in his throat made his voice shaky.

"dad...?"

"Of course, h-how am I so stupid...in the year before our arrival s-she still was..."

He tried to control himself more, but it was useless as more tears were falling down, though he cried silently.

"...sorry, Sans. I never wanted you to see me like this"

"...she's with her ex-boyfriend, i presume?"

"Y-yeah...in a few months though he'll start to change though, so I don't really know what will happen..."

He sniffed and breathed in and out slowly.

"This is even worse than her forgetting about me...finding her with that scumbag, tch...all that dream and torture for nothing"

"pfsh, dad, shouldn't you do something though? if she indeed will eventually dump her boyfriend, shouldn't you do something to approach her?"

As a response, Gaster stood there, quietly.

"...if she indeed dumps him then I'll...watch her from afar and make sure she is happy. I'll love her no matter what. I'm just sad that I can't be the one that makes her happy"

Sans deadpanned at his father.

dad, you really don't understand, do you? YOU are her happiness.

But he could understand him.

He was without hope.

Meanwhile, near the river

"...is this the end then?" Jack asked.

"Yeah. This is it. I'm sorry for breaking your heart: you don't deserve it" you simply answered.

You called Jack to talk with him on your free day: you wanted to clear out things with him.

Over the past months in fact you were weirder and weirder, always lost in your own thoughts: thoughts about someone you didn't know but actually knew. And you were longing for that someone.

And at the same time, you noticed that the relationship between you and Jack was becoming problematic: with you occupied with your thoughts and him with work, there was less time to meet. It wasn't a real loving relationship anymore.

You wanted to break up: you felt like it was wrong staying with him, despite him being a caring person (Y/N sweetie good thing you're dumping him before you could stress yourself over him ghosting you).

You felt like...your soul belonged to someone else.

"Perhaps...this is better for both of us" Jack then said, after a long time spent in silence "we aren't what we used to be when we first got together. Also, I have to travel for work now, it would have been more difficult..."

"Yeah, in the end we would have both suffered about it" you said, agreeing with what he said.

He let out a sigh, and held out a hand for you to reach.

"I hope we can at least be friends, Y/N" he said, waiting for you to take his hand.

You smiled and shook his hand.

"I hope too"

And with that, he left.

You stayed there, watching the sunset, surrounded by the chit-chatters of everyone passing by.

With that, you closed your eyes, remembering a memory from your childhood:

Ice cone in hand, your little hand grabbed your mother's as you walked among all the people. Your six-years old self watched around in amazement, seeing the sky coloured by many hues of red, pink and a slight lilac.

You giggled as some of the ice cream finished on your nose. Your dad kneeled down and cleaned it with a smile.

"You're such a messy child, aren't you sweetie?" he said with tenderness in his voice.

He then took you in his arms, as you saw that you were now approaching a river.

On each side of the river there were big, tall trees, and the grass was a vivid green, and it looked soft enough for a picnic.

You looked, amazed by the sight.

Both of your parents chuckled as they saw little stars in your eyes.

"You know Y/N, this is where me and your mom first met" your dad said.

"Really?!" you exclaimed.

"Yeah, we were both in college. She was so stunning, with her kind personality and love for nature, which I shared as well. She was the most popular girl in school, but I was too afraid to approach her"

Your mom grunted at the memory.

"Yeah, I had to approach you in the end. I always saw this boy here on this river, I got curious by what he was studying, so I approached him and look at where we are now, dear. Boy, I still remember how you blushed when I first said hi" your mom continued the story.

Your dad only smiled back, a little flushed by this last statement.

You listened, fascinated by what your parents were telling you.

It almost looked a fairytale.

"I wanna find my future lover here as well!" you said with an energic tone.

You sighed, remembering the memory from your childhood.

You looked up. The sun had now disappeared and the crowd was slowly disappearing as well.

"Are you the one I'm longing for?" you said, even though you were talking with nobody.

Was it the lover you swore to meet at the river the one you longed for?

Back when you were talking with Jim you felt something in your heart.

The feeling of longing.

And it was stronger than ever.

"Were you near me?" you asked.

Two months later

You reached the lab as you always did, taking your good ten minutes to reach it.

You didn't know why, but ever since you broke up with Jack, when you reached the lab you always felt the longing feeling stronger than ever.

And you didn't know why, but ever since that day, you often felt observed.

You finally reached the lab, and when entering you were greeted by Jim's energic voice. It was at a higher pitch than usual though, which made you understand that something had happened.

"Jim? Has something happened?"

"Listen, the boss has asked for you"

Oh

When your boss called somebody, it was ALWAYS because they wanted to assign special jobs and researches to do.

You breathed in and out, and with a steady pace reached the door for your boss' office, under Jim's curious gaze. You knocked, and an older voice told you to come in.

You entered the office, welcomed by a bunch of plants all over the place.

"Ah, Y/N, here you are. Listen, I'll be quite quick with this research.

I want you to conduct a research on Mount Ebbott, to see if there are any plants that are actually attractive to humans for them to fall."

...

"dad"

Gaster flinched when he heard Sans calling him from behind.

"S-Sans..."

"why are you walking in circles around the room? are you nervous about something?" he asked observing his dad, even though it was a rethorical question. He already knew what his dad was thinking about.

Today was the day in which you fell in the underground and freed Gaster. If only today Gaster was still in the void, he would have met you again and started everything again.

But that would have meant giving up on everything that was there in his life: his sons, his body and your relationship.

But he still missed you, and he was slowly becoming nervous about it, even though he swore to let you be.

Sans sighed.

at this point you have already fallen, mom. where are you now? are you going to remember?

...

"Shit" you said as you felt lost dizzy after the fall into the underground. You didn't know it was the second time you fell though.

But you sensed it. You sensed the familiar feeling flowing in your chest.

"Why does this feel familiar?"

You tried to stand up and you felt a pain in your back. A pain that felt TOO familiar.

"Have I already felt this pain before? But when?"

You touched the buttercups and looked at them: yellow, soft, as you remembered...

...remembered?

You walked through the purple ruins with ease. You even swore that you could know the place as the back of your hands, but you couldn't know why. You solved the puzzles with ease, and reached a house in the end of the environment.

After exploring the house, which was also oddly familiar, you opened the final door of the Ruins, leading you to a snowy landscape.

You reached a bridge, and noticed a weird thing: it almost looked like that zone was a battle camp. There were many burnt trees and there were signs of slamming.

"Just...what happened here?"

In that area the feeling of longing was even stronger: but it was also a sad feeling. It felt like...desperation. It seemed like that place had met a lot of hate, tears and desperation. It was as if the one you were longing for was caught by a tremendous despair.

With that uneasiness in your heart, you continued walking until you reached a village.

Snowdin.

Without knowing, you started running, until you reached a house at the end of the village.

A Christmas decorated house.

"hey you two, want to freeze outside or do you actually want to come in?" S̢͚ͧ̅͏̸̸̵̶̵̶̸̡̨̨̡́́́́̀̕͘̕͘͢͢͟͝͞͡͝a̴̶̶̵̷̴̶̴̧̢̧̢̢̛̛̛͔ͤͩ̀̀̕͟͢͢͟͝͠͝͠͠͝ņ̴̷̸̵̷̶̨̨̧̛͚ͯͫ̀̕͜͢͟͟͡҉̴̵̧̧̛́͜͞͝͞ś̶̢̛̬̏͟͜͠҉̵̧̨̨̨̡̛́̀͘͘͟͞͠͞͏͢͏̶̷̴͞ said, gesturing for you to come inside the Christmas decorated house.

In all honesty, he wanted to call you two lovebirds just to tease you, even though you weren't together as a couple.

You walked and entered the house, which was luckily cozy, as G̷̨̬̔͘͞͏̷̵̴̵̸̧̡̛́͜͠͏̴̷̢̧́͜ą̴̵̷̨̢͍͒́̀͘͘͘͢͢͝͡͏̵̵̶͝͠͝͠s̸̷̴̴̴̷̴̡̢̡̧̢̛̛̛͍͛̀͘̕͟͜͟͜͡t̸̢̗ͯ͘͠҉҉̵̸̶̴̴̴̴̷̛̀́̕͢͜͟͞͡ę̷̨̥̌͜͏̶̧̡̛̕͜͟͜͞͝͏̸̷̢̛͘̕͞r̴̵̶̵̷̢̧̢̡̛̳̿̀́̀́͢͜͟͟͠͠͡͡͝ followed behind you.

"Home Sweet Home"

"This was your home? It looks really comfortable" you said with a curious smile, watching around you to observe the details.

G̷̨̬̔͘͞͏̷̵̴̵̸̧̡̛́͜͠͏̴̷̢̧́͜ą̴̵̷̨̢͍͒́̀͘͘͘͢͢͝͡͏̵̵̶͝͠͝͠s̸̷̴̴̴̷̴̡̢̡̧̢̛̛̛͍͛̀͘̕͟͜͟͜͡t̸̢̗ͯ͘͠҉҉̵̸̶̴̴̴̴̷̛̀́̕͢͜͟͞͡ę̷̨̥̌͜͏̶̧̡̛̕͜͟͜͞͝͏̸̷̢̛͘̕͞r̴̵̶̵̷̢̧̢̡̛̳̿̀́̀́͢͜͟͟͠͠͡͡͝ smiled at you, but then he saw S̢͚ͧ̅͏̸̸̵̶̵̶̸̡̨̨̡́́́́̀̕͘̕͘͢͢͟͝͞͡͝a̴̶̶̵̷̴̶̴̧̢̧̢̢̛̛̛͔ͤͩ̀̀̕͟͢͢͟͝͠͝͠͠͝ņ̴̷̸̵̷̶̨̨̧̛͚ͯͫ̀̕͜͢͟͟͡҉̴̵̧̧̛́͜͞͝͞ś̶̢̛̬̏͟͜͠҉̵̧̨̨̨̡̛́̀͘͘͟͞͠͞͏͢͏̶̷̴͞ looking at him with a smug look, and he turned his face away, not to be teased by his older son.

"Open, goddamn it!" you exclaimed, not realising that you were trying to turn the knob of the entrance door with all of your strenght.

You realised what you were doing and stopped in the process.

"...just what am I doing?" you thought.

Then you realised why you were committing such action. The now familiar feeling of longing.

The house was emitting that feeling.

"...where are you? Are you here?"

You then decided to wait, to see if someone would have come back to the house, in case they were outside.

But nobody came.

Surrendering to the idea of meeting someone there, you got up and walked to a blue environment.

You later discovered (or remembered) that the place was called Waterfall.

A place full of waterfalls called "Waterfall".

Such originality, you thought (for the second time)

But what surprised you the most was the fact that there were blue flowers.

The same flower that was on your table in the living room.

You fell on your knees as you stared at the infinite field of blue flowers in front of you, in confusion and disbelief.

"Why...are there flowers like the one I have at home...? What does this mean?"

You touched one of the flowers without knowing it: it was like your body was acting on its own, following the longing feeling.

The flower repeated something rather shocking:

"...c-calm down Y/N"

You immediately got up and distanced yourself from the flower in fear.

It was your voice. The flower was repeating your voice.

"Why does a flower in the middle of the underground repeat my voice?!"

You were confused and you were growing tired of it: first you retrieved yourself in your apartment crying, feeling like you had lost something important, then you found an odd flower whom is also in the Underground where you've never been before.

Or at least, that's what you had thought until now.

You carefully reapproached the flower, and touched it again.

And as it repeated the sound, it was like a trail of flowers was leading you to somewhere. You followed all the flowers that were repeating your voice and found yourself in front of a dark entrance, covered by dark blue vines, even though some light blue light was glowing from inside.

You removed the vines and entered the cave: a little hill, with all of those blue flowers surrounding it.

You looked amazed, as you walked among the flowers, carefully looking at where you were putting your feet on.

The walls were full of glowing light blue gems, and at the center of the cave there was a little hill with blue grass, free from the echo flowers.

It was perfect to take a seat.

And so you climbed the hill and sat down again, in peace.

Once you sat down, you touched a flower to see if it would reproduce any sound

The flower reproduced a sigh.

"It seems that no one has come here since the last time I came here"

"Was it...a flashback just now?" you thought.

Your feet, as if they had their own will, climbed the little hill just like in the flashback, and you sat down.

You touched again a flower, and as you expected, it repeated your voice again

"Hello stranger..."

You finished listening to the flower: it looked like your voice was saying that someone dear to you, a man as your voice said, hurt someone else that wasn't so dear to you, and that you missed him because you were scared of texting him, still because you were afraid of him.

But just as you were thinking, another flower repeated something. Something that wasn't your voice.

A male voice.

"I must admit, I'm quite surprised someone has found this place. I presume you're a monster that chose to stay here. And I have to thank you, your words truly matter to me. They brought me a bit of comfort.

From your excitement in your answer, I can safely say that you and the girl I'm talking about would be perfect best friends. She sounds the same as you.

I hope you can make up with the guy you're talking about. He sounds like me in terms of personality.

He sounds like...he loves you.

Just as I l-" and the voice was cut off.

You had to clench your chest as you were now having a panic attack.

This voice was too familiar.

This voice belonged to the one you were searching for. The one who cared for you and that you cared for.

The one who was causing the longing feeling.

"Where are you?!" you screamed in exasperation "where are you now? How do I find you?!"

You took in shaky breaths as an image was now forming in your mind: something white that resembled a skull, with two black lines.

"Who are you?!" you finally screamed.