4.7 Inner Conflict

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The group were all in the S.T.A.R. Labs medical bay. Caitlin was lying down on a hospital bed with an IV bag attached to her arm. Y/N sat by her bed in a chair he'd pulled up. Cisco took her vitals, nodding at the results.

Cisco: Her vitals are normal. She should be fine. Just a little warm. She probably overextended herself. All she needs is a bit of rest.

Y/N: Good.

Y/N continued to just watch Caitlin, hoping she'd recover soon. Barry-1 looked to the side and noticed Dr. Wells standing furthest away from the group. Y/N looked up and noticed as well.

Y/N: You seem awfully quite, Dr. Wells.

Cisco: He's probably running theoretical calculations through his head, thinking about how much we may have screwed up our "dimensional destiny".

Wells: No, it's not that. I was thinking about something else. I was thinking about... how I was wrong.

The three men all looked at him, cocking their heads to the side. They stood up and walked over to Wells. The good doctor moved and sat down on a stool as he was talking.

Wells: You were right. You were all right. I do think too much in theoretical hypotheses and abstract ideas. I do tend to forget that, for all your extraordinary powers, you're all still human. And I do tend to focus too much on what could happen in a worst case scenario rather than trusting you all to show me the best case scenario.

He exhaled deeply before continuing.

Wells: Twenty years ago, I lost Tess in that car accident.

The others remained silent. Y/N and Cisco knew about Tess Morgan, Wells' fiancé. Although he never really talked about her, they all knew she meant dearly to him.

Wells: After the accident, my mind raced through every possibility that may have changed things. What if we left a little later? What if I drove just five miles slower? What if we had just stayed inside that evening? Any one of those and she would still be alive.

Wells began to tear up. He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath.

Wells: I continue to do so today, not in hope of regaining what I lost, but in fear of losing what I've gained. Y/N, Cisco, you two and Caitlin have all brought me something that I haven't experienced in a long time: a sense of belonging. And I cannot lose that. I cannot lose you. That's why I trust ideas more like laws, theories more like facts. I don't want to take the risk.

They all remained silent. After a moment, Wells got up and walked away. Y/N was about to follow him, but Barry-1 put up his hand. He'd go talk to him. Barry-1 followed Wells, finding him sitting down in one of the spare labs. 

Barry-1 noticed him looking at a ring he'd taken out of his pocket, the one he'd given to Tess all those years ago. He walked over and sat down next to the good doctor. The two just remained there in silence for the longest time before Barry-1 spoke.

Barry-1: I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure she must have been a great woman.

Wells: She was phenomenal. Everyone seemed to be turned off by my mad ramblings. Not her. She saw something else, and showed me much more. Things worth more than science.

He took a moment to breath and sigh before continuing.

Wells: But it's all in the past. There's nothing that can be done about it now.

Barry nodded. After another moment of silence, he continued.

Barry-1: I met a version of you, you know? From Earth-2? He had a daughter. And he is just as protective of her as you are of your friends. He can be a bit of a pain, sometimes, but he means well.

Wells: What's your point, Allen?

Barry-1: My point is that it's okay to be afraid. It's okay to not know things. You have a special group of friends. You need to lean on them more, let your guard down. Maybe it can help.

Wells nodded.

Wells: Maybe. I'll have to wait and see.

Barry-1: Why wait?

Wells nodded, his eyes drifting back down to the ring in his hands.

In the cortex chamber, Y/N and Cisco were looking at a file pulled up on the screen. It was a medical report on Lisa Snart, giving detail as to her current situation.

Cisco: You were right about her being sick. Her medical record states that she suffered a stroke from internal brain bleeding about two months ago. They've been able to stabilize her condition, but doctors are unsure as to how long she'll last. The funds needed for the surgery are hefty, even more so for someone in Snart's position.

Y/N: Cold became desperate. He knew he had to get money and fast, but he couldn't with us still in the picture. He aligned himself with men who all have a similar goal.

Cisco: I'd call it more of a passion. Seeing you dead is like a medal of honor to all crooks and supervillains in this city.

Y/N: Snart didn't want me dead. He's still playing by his own rules, even if it does mean he has to deal with his comrades' horse shit.

Cisco: So, he's trying to coral them all. We can't take him out without the others loosing control. 

Y/N thought for a moment, looking up at the file on Lisa. He then turned to Cisco.

Y/N: See if S.T.A.R. Labs has any additional revenue we could give out. Maybe something we could pay off under the desk.

Cisco: Are you seriously considering what I think you're considering?

Y/N: Lisa's innocent in all of this and Snart's still going by his code. Out of all the criminals we've faced, he at least knows not to hurt anybody. He doesn't deserve to be in this position. See what we can do.

Cisco nodded, walking off. Y/N walked into one of the side labs in the chamber, entering the med bay. He sat down in a chair next to the bed Caitlin was still sleeping in. 

The young man looked over at the love of his life. He didn't want to see her like this, but at least she was okay. He brought up his hand, lightly pushing back a strand of hair that had fallen onto her face. He then sat back down and waited.

Y/N had to be sitting there for no more than fifteen minutes when Caitlin's fingers twitched. The brunette girl gradually opened her eyes, looking around the room. Y/N saw her moving and stood up, standing over her and cupping one hand on her face while brushing aside her hair with the other.

Y/N: Hey, hey. It's alright. Take it easy. You're safe.

Caitlin looked around, coughing a bit. Y/N grabbed a nearby cup of water and handed it to her. She gratefully accepted it, taking a sip of the cool liquid as it traveled down her dry throat. 

Caitlin: What happened?

Y/N: You experienced an acute form of hyperthermia, your temperature rising to a high level.

Caitlin: I overheated?

Y/N: Yes. You know, I've called you hot before, but this isn't what I was referring to.

They both chuckled lightly at his joke. Caitlin's eyes beamed at being able to see her boyfriend comforting her and being able to make her laugh. Her smile faded when she began to cough again. Y/N patted her shoulder and sat down in his chair next to her.

Y/N: Alright, take it easy. I'll be right here beside you.

Caitlin: Thank you.

Y/N: I guess this time, I get to act as your doctor.

She chuckled again, lightly coughing from doing so.

Caitlin: Oh, please. Don't make me laugh.

Y/N: Alright. I'll stop with the jokes... until we get home. 

The two sat there in silence, just resting and letting everything sink in. After staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, Caitlin looked over at Y/N. She noticed his brow was furrowed in a specific way. It was a habit of his she'd picked up on.

Caitlin: Something bothering you?

Y/N was pulled out of his train of thought and looked over at her.

Y/N: What makes you think that?

Caitlin: Your eyebrows come down in a certain way when you've got something on the brain. Kinda makes you look like an angry pug.

Y/N: Ouch.

The two lightly chuckled at their exchange.

Caitlin: What's the matter, sparky? 

Y/N took a moment to collect his thoughts. He then took a deep breath and told her.

Y/N: Do you ever wish things were different? 

She looked at him, puzzled, not quite sure what he meant by that. He decided to elaborate.

Y/N: Does having Frost ever bother you?

Caitlin thought for a moment before replying.

Caitlin: I mean... I'm not sure. It's odd having someone else be in your mind, be in control of your body. Sometimes, I'm almost afraid of what she could do. What we could do. Other times... I just don't entirely feel like myself, even when it is just me.

Y/N nodded in understanding.

Y/N: Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if the accelerator never went off? What our lives would be like?

She looked over at him as he continued.

Y/N: You'd still have your life as it was. You'd still have your career. Hell, you'd probably be a well respected scientist by now. You wouldn't have any alter ego to deal with. You could just be you.

He paused. The young man then turned his head, looking directly into her eyes.

Y/N: I could go back. I could make that a reality. I could save my parents, I could save Barry's mom, and I could make sure that damn accelerator never went off. I could make things right.

Caitlin looked at him. When she spoke, her voice was low, barely above a whisper.

Caitlin: But what about you? You would never have become the Flash. We may never have met.

Y/N put his head down for a moment before looking back at her. He reached out and held onto her hand, the two cupping the tips of their fingers with one another's.

Y/N: I don't care what happens to me. I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. Even if we never met, as long as you are happy with your new life, I will be happy.

She looked at him, deep into his eyes.

Caitlin: And all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. For someone to give you the love you deserve. And I don't know if I can truly be that person.

Y/N: Caitlin, you already are. You're more than enough. You are perfect. I just want you to realize that.

Caitlin: And I want you to realize the same about you. 

She was silent for a moment before continuing.

Caitlin: Just tell me one thing. Are you happy? Out of not just everything that has happened, but could have happened, are you happy?

Y/N looked at her, not quite sure what to say. His mind was spinning at a million miles an hour, just going over both the things he'd lost but also gained. The two continued to just sit there in silence, holding onto one another's hands, both filled with uncertainty as to their current positions in life.




Cisco and Barry stood in the cortex chamber, going over the files on the Rogues and double checking their notes to see if there was any way to bring them down. Y/N walked in as they were finishing up.

Y/N: Anything?

Cisco: We have a few ideas, nothing full proof. The problem is their numbers. Each one posses a threat in a way that would stop us before we could detain the others. I'm just not sure how we're going to bring them all in.

They stood there, all thinking over things. They were interrupted by a voice booming out, entering the room.

Wells: I'll tell you how. Together. 

The group all looked at him, surprised by his suggestion compared to his cautious behavior earlier.

Wells: We need to be firing on all cylinders for this one. It's all or nothing.

Cisco: What about the risk factor?

Wells: If there's one thing this team has shown me, it's that they can overcome any risk, any obstacle thrown their way.

The three men smiled at his statement.

Cisco: Nice speech, Captain America. What're you thinking?

Wells: We do what they did to us. We draw them out, one-by-one, and catch them when they least expect it. Allen, you said you've dealt with these guys before. How do we stop them?

Barry-1 looked at him, stuttering as he threw out ideas.

Barry-1: Well, uh, my Cisco created a wand to stop Mardon. If you could create that here, then we may be able to do the same.

Wells nodded.

Wells: Ramon, you still got your prototype blueprints from last time?

Cisco: Yeah, but it was flimsy at best, remember? The cryochamber could barely hold the necessary capacity. Plus, they may very well attack out in the open. I don't know if the range could cover that distance.

Barry-1: What if you removed the magnetic dosimeter? My Cisco suggested the same thing once.

Cisco: That could work, but we wouldn't have enough juice to jumpstart the process. Unless...

Wells: One of Mardon's bolts did it for us. We could then redirect the energy into a confined space, specifically his body.

Y/N: That would infuse his body with a significant amount of electrons! Enough to counteract the positive energy in his system and possibly dissipate his powers long enough to get the cuffs on him!

The group was now smiling, continuing with their ideas. Y/N turned to Barry-1.

Y/N: What about Snart and Rory? How'd you beat them?

Barry-1: We got their beams to cross, starting a chain reaction between the two.

Cisco: Like Ghostbusters...

Barry-1: Snart's gun cools atoms down to absolute zero while Mick's heats them up to absolute hot or-

Y/N: 1.417 x 10^32 K. They would cancel each other out and combust!

Cisco: What about Rival? Surely we'd need something for him. We can't just fight him head on.

Wells: Not unless we had two speedsters instead of one.

Barry-1 looked over at him in surprise.

Wells: We need you, Barry. Right now, our world needs two Flashes. 

Barry nodded. The group was suddenly interrupted by another voice joining the discussion.

Caitlin: I'm coming, too.

They turned around to see the brunette had gotten out of bed, standing there in jeans and a blue shirt. Y/N walked over to her, pleading for her to stay.

Y/N: Cait, no. You still need time to heal. 

Caitlin: I'm fine. Besides, I might have a few ideas on how to take down our Trickster friend.

She smirked as her brain raced with ideas. Y/N eased up, knowing there was no point in arguing with her.

Y/N: Alright, let's do this.

Wells: Mr. Ramon, if you would join me in the lab.

Barry-1: I'll get to work scanning the city.

Caitlin: Shall we cook, Mr. L/N?

Y/N: Chemistry with you, Dr. Snow? Anytime.

Everyone went off their separate directions and got to work. Cisco and Dr. Wells worked in the lab, making the wand needed to restrict Mardon's powers. They tinkered and toyed with the design and features needed.

Y/N and Caitlin worked in the chemical lab together. They moved around different colored vials and mixtures. At one point, Caitlin directed Y/N to use his speed to spin a batch in a small glass while she mixed two other substances. When they were done, the two poured their concoction into an airtight container. 

Harrison and Cisco had just finished up finalizing the Wizard's Wand as Cisco insisted on calling it when the alarms went off. Everyone rushed over to Barry-1 who was at the computer terminal.

Barry-1: They're out and attacking on Fifth and Third!

Y/N: They're trying to lure us out.

Wells: Then we'll accept that challenge. 

Y/N looked around at his team, at his friends, and nodded.

Y/N: Alright. If it's a fight against the Flash they want, then it's a fight they'll get.



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