I truly, truly, truly hate myself.

Sometimes I cannot even understand how a stupid, daft person like me even made it into Sebong University will all the elite and intelligent people.

Other times I don't understand why my nervous system and problem stimulating part of my brain fails me and lets my heart and my idiotic mouth make decisions for me before I even have a chance to comprehend them properly.

I groan once more into my pillow in regret and desperation as I try to think of the situation I just got myself into.

Earlier I had agreed to Soyeon's stupid little bet without even thinking mainly because my tall pride wouldn't let me just sit still and get insulted. I've known Soyeon since fifth grade of elementary school and she is absolutely vicious and brutal when it comes to bets and dares. Soyeon isn't one to back down, even when she is at an advantage, and weirdly enough she sees upholding her end of the bargain as some sort of path to high honor.

Then again, I suppose that is a trait she picked up growing as the daughter of two lawyers. We all pick up habits and morals from our parents and Soyeon's habit isn't all too bad. Being the daughter of two dentists myself, I have a slight paranoia about keeping my teeth clean all the time.

There is no way Soyeon is going to let me off of this bet and there is also no way I can confess my feelings to Seungcheol either.

Seungcheol lives and breathes a type of air that is a whole new level than me. He gets about at least five to ten different confessions per day, from underclassmen, post graduates, high schoolers, high profile celebrities, not so high profile celebrities, influencers, normal people, and even peasants like me.

And he rejects every single one of them.

Of course he is going to reject my naive confession too.

Not to mention that he most probably doesn't even know who I am, despite the fact we have a lot of classes together since he is a Business major and me being a Business minor. Hell, he probably forgot me the very next second when we had walked into each other on the first day of university last year while I'm still hung over that small, singular interaction like a clingy girlfriend.

Contrary to the popular stereotypes of guys like Seungcheol being extreme playboys, sleeping around with every walking thing they say, Seungcheol barely even glances at the opposite gender, apart from a select few who are either his family friend of he has known them from high school.

He probably could care less about dating and sleeping around, and instead only keeps close with his tiny group of friends, focusing on his schoolwork and the soccer team. Seungcheol is probably one of the most diligent student in the class, of course bested only by Joshua himself.

These are some of the reasons I like him so much.

He is handsome and good looking and of course his body proportions are just an eye pleaser, not to mention his strong arms, but its his kind and calm personality that attracts me to him even more.

Even though he rejects every confessions, its the way he makes sure that the girl isn't too embarrassed or humiliated by having a private or honest conversation that makes me admire and respect him even more.

In fact, I'm confident that even after my rejection, I'll fall for him even more because of how nice he is going to be about it.

That being said however, I first need to muster up the confidence to even try and confess and in just only a week too.

I smash my head repeatedly into my pillow a few more times as I consider my options.

Either I loose the bet and just simply pay for Soyeon's drinks for a month or I confess to Seungcheol and get rejected and have the entire campus know of my humiliation.

You know what, its not like I'm broke or struggling financially so bad that I can't afford to pay for Soyeon's drinks for a month. I most certainly can and by taking this route I make sure that I also end up saving my social status in this society too.

I can just continue my imaginative relationship with Seungcheol in the fantasy brain of my mind, as it has already been building for the past year like a messed up sociopath.

"Jia?"

"Huh" I look up from my pillow to see my roommate, Yewon, looking down at me.

"Your phone has been ringing for a while now. I think you might want to pick it up," Yewon tells me.

At first I'm confused but then I realize that my phone is indeed ringing and my cheeks blush pink from embarrassment as I frantically get up from my bed and grab my phone which was laying on my table.

"Sorry unnie,"I mumble as I pick up the phone, pushing my messy hair out of my face.

"Hello?" I speak into the phone.

"Jia? It's me Mingaho," The person of the phone speaks, "Sorry, I was just calling to tell you that our meeting has been moved an hour early. You didn't read my messages yet so I decided to just call you."

"An hour early," I glance at the digital clock on my desk and say, "That's in almost ten minutes then."

"Sorry," Minghao said, "Can you make it?"

"Yeah, I'll leave right away but I'll probably be ten to fifteen minutes late," I told him, grabbing my tote bag and dumping my laptop, journal and pencil case in it.

"Okay. Take your time," Minghao told me, "I'll see you in a bit."

Both Minghao and I are part of the online magazine called Cubics, which is run largely by college students across various universities where we are free to write and publish anything we want, as long as it's appropriate however.

Sebong University also has a chapter open here and I joined Cubics right away when I entered since I am passionate about writing and Journalism is my major. Minghao is also a writer like me and the two of us are also working as editors, him partaking in editing the Chinese articles while I edit both Korean and English article. I wouldn't call us friends but we are pretty friendly with each other and can hold a conversation without it going awkward. Every week we have a meeting to make sure everything is running smoothly and that our university chapter continues to retain its position as diamond badge.

As I wear my shoes to leave my dorm room, Yewon stops me and says, "Make sure you walk in quietly when you come back. I might be sleeping."

"Yes unnie," I answer her before leaving.

Yewon has been my roommate since last year when I was assigned with her. Yewon is two years older than me, which means she is a senior now and hence my use of formal language with her, and she is also a Law major, which means she is prickly and strict with rules. Yewon usually wants everything spotless clean, pin drop silence and if you don't live by her rules that she will stake you alive.

I've had my run ins with her in the beginning when we first got assigned together but I soon adjusted to her way of living. Due to Korea's strong hierarchical system, I can't even say anything back to her without being scolded or yelled at by others and so I mostly just kept quiet and lived silently. I had learnt soon enough that if you live peacefully and quietly, then Yewon is more likely to leave you alone.

Since we can choose our own roommates from year two, Nana and I were planning on being together but then Yewon asked me room with her this year too and I couldn't muster up the courage to say no. Apparently she found it comfortable being with me and doesn't want to get stuck with a freshman and adjust to them while she's busy writing her senior thesis and apply for jobs.

It's not as bad as it used to be though so I can't say I hate the arrangement. The two of us have found a way to peacefully coexist without being hindrance to each other's lives.

~ ・~ ・~

"You got this Jia," Soyeon told you with encouragement and enthusiasm in her voice,

"Yes. Just take a deep breath and go for it,"Emily said, encouraging me as well.

"Yes and when he rejects you, you can come back and cry and pretend you never existed," Nana said sarcastically, casually scrolling through her phone.

I immediately made a scared expression while both Soyeon and Emily groaned.

"Seriously Nana? It took us so long for her to finally stand up from her chair," Emily told Nana.

"Exactly. It took her twenty minutes to stand up from her chair so it will take her two hours to walk till there and two days to actually start speaking. I will be married and have kids by the time she even gets back a reply," Nana pointed out blankly.

Out of us four, Nana tended to be the more sarcastic and gloomy one.

"You know what, if you don't have anything encouraging to say then don't say anything at all," Emily told her.

Soyeon turned back towards you and said, "Ignore her. Focus on what we said. It's now or never Jia. It's now or never."

I nodded my head furiously, repeating, "It's now or never."

"Good. Now go!" Soyeon said.

A week had passed since my stupid little bet with Soyeon and when I told her I'll just admit defeat, she dramatically rolled her eyes and practically ordered me to confess instead of being a scaredy cat.

She had said, "I swear to god Jia, if you don't walk up to him and confess then I will drag you by the hair and make you confess. If you don't do this now then you never will and then I'm so fucking sick watching you stalk an innocent man for a year now."

And so now here I stood, a week later, in the coffee shop with my hands shaking with nervousness as I faced towards the table Seungcheol was sitting at, trying to ready myself for the talk.

Luckily there aren't many people around to witness your confession and having your friends around is actually comforting.

I took in a deep breath and turned around on my heels. Opening my eyes, I cast them in his direction and saw him sitting in the middle of the cafe with two of his friends, Jeonghan and Joshua.

He is wearing a black beanie with a black mask and, his eyes twinkling with laughter as he reacted at a joke Jeonghan just made.

He had on a simple grey track pants and a black t-shirt that fitted his torso very well with his black padded jacket lying on the empty seat next to him.

Seungcheol.

"It's now or never Jia. It's now or never," I continued to repeat in my head, starting to find my confidence.

I slowly began to make my way towards the table with small hesitant steps. Nana is right, it will take me two hours to walk up to them. Two minutes later, I found yourself standing right in front of the table.

My shadow took attention away from the conversation Joshua, Jeonghan and Scoups were having and all three slowly looked up at me, confusion evident on their faces.

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow and Joshua politely asked, "Can we help you?"

I opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. My brain was frozen and starstruck and I had clearly never thought over the fact that my brain will freeze when I will have three of the hottest guys looking at me, all at the same time.

"Uh. . .um-I-I'm Jia,"I introduced myself, stuttering and stumbling all over my words.

All three of the boys just stared back at me with blank expressions, as if I had grown a second head.

By now I was starting to loose my confidence and feel like an idiot. Why did I even think this was a great idea. Why would Scoups ever want to go out with me? I'm literally a nobody.

"Um. . .I came to talk to. . .uh-I came to talk to-ohfybm,"I got abruptly cut off as someone from behind went shoving into me, aggressively pushing me forward and making me collide with the chair in front and fall forward instantly

However Scoups was sitting on the chair in front of me and I went colliding into him instead, falling on top of him as he caught me with both of his hands on my torso, preventing me from falling directly onto him.

My face is just a couple of inches away from his and I stared wide eyed as Scoups stared back at me, as equally surprised as I am. I was completely frozen, taken aback by the closeness of our two bodies and his scent made my brain fuzzy.

It took me a couple of seconds to get my brain to re-function and when it did, my eyes widened even larger and I pulled away immediately, trying to collect yourself and stand straight.

"I-I'm sorry," I apologized, all nervous and freaking out.

"Sorry dude. My bad," A man behind me apologized and I turned around to identify him as the person who bumped into you, quickly recognizing him to be Mingyu, someone who I also share classes a lot with but have rarely spoken too.

It was then when I realized I had a cool liquid running at my backside, feeling it run down from my neck all the way to my lower back as it stuck my dress to my skin, making it sticky. I looked down at Mingyu's hand and saw a half empty coffee cup in his hands.

Great! Now I had coffee running down my white dress.

"Oh my god," I said without really thinking as I reached behind and felt the back of my now ruined dress to feel it being wet.

"Shit. I'm so sorry. I can pay for the dry cleaning," Mingyu apologized once more, studying my increasingly blushing expression.

To say I am embarrassed in an understatement. Not only did I fail miserably at my confession, I ended up making a fool of myself by falling on top of Scoups and had coffee running down behind my back.

Now all I had left to do is dig a grave and bury myself in it.

I looked at Mingyu with wide eyes and looked back at the table where the holy trinity was sitting with wide eyes too, only to find everyone staring at me.

Without another word I just turned on my heels and rushed back to where my friends were sitting, all of them staring at me with open mouths and shocked expressions.

"I want to kill myself," I told them as I picked up my bag, ready to leave this place.

"Hey it's alright," Soyeon tried to coax me but I wasn't listening.

I left the cafe without looking up at anyone, rushing out.

This is probably the most embarrassing day of my life.

I truly, truly hate myself.

The second half of this chapter might be a bit repetitive for those who read my seventeen imagines but it just is so good completed but it would make perfect sense to just put it in.

Seventeen just announced their repackage album for july 18th, and I'm already so excited to hear some more new music.

Since its getting warmer, make sure you all stay hydrated and avoid getting burnt!! Have a great day everyone : )