"Sturmhond had a way of talking that made me want to shoot someone. Preferably him."

-Siege and Storm, Book two of the Grisha trilogy by Leigh Bardugo
__________________________

"I should try track."

"Yeah, it's really fun." How could he not see I was lying through my teeth? "I mean, I'm not on the team yet, but running is fun, and we could hang out more."

Drew smiled, that cute smile where he kind of only turns up one side of his mouth so one dimple is deeper than the other. His lips were really big, kind of kissable at the moment...

"Anyway, I should get to lit..."

"See you at the track," he winked. "Hopefully."

I smiled and did that finger wave Rebecca always does. God, I was turning into her.

The end of the day couldn't come fast enough. I practically danced out to the track, and when I got there, I found something unexpected.

Drew was already running, expected, but his shirt was off, unexpected. His abs were hot, not the kind of six pack that the Rock has that is a little too buff, Drew had strong arms and a lean body with smaller curves on his chest, it was very boyish and hot. And I was going to homecoming with him?

I pulled on my sneakers quickly and joined him just as he came around the curve, giving a little bounce to my step so I could look really athletic and kind of sexy.

"Glad you could make it." I said, trying not to puff it out. I was already sweating and we were only a quarter of the way around the track, I must look like a pig.

"You were right, it is pretty fun. Let's me clear my head. It's relaxing." The burn I was feeling in my legs was not in anyway relaxing.

We slowed down to a jog after one lap so we could talk. He told me about his big family, grades, and recent trip to the food bank. He was so sweet, my life seemed like a gang member's compared to his.

We took a break after a few laps and sat on the track next to each other, our knees touching. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he chugged his water, sweat glistening on his chest. So. Hot.

Did this mean we were dating? We were going to homecoming and going on running dates, that's what boyfriends and girlfriends did, right? "This is going to sound kind of weird, but can I ask-" Of course my phone had to ring. Who was calling me? Nobody ever called me so it must be an emergency. "Sorry." I stood up and walked towards the bleachers, answering my phone.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" Of course it was Jax, he always ruined my moment.

"We aren't meeting today. I'm at school."

"I'm at the set right now, I texted you, like, forty times. We didn't practice this scene and Leigh doesn't look happy, she keeps giving me pointers but they aren't working. She needs you."

"I thought you are reading the book? I'm trusting you."

"Erica, I didn't actually read the book, I read a page." He was using my real name, this must be serious.

"So what? Just do it yourself." I wasn't giving up my moment with Drew for Jax.

"This is the emotional scene, do I be hard or soft? Just, please come."

"I'm having an emotional scene myself and can't talk now. Figure it out." I ended the call angrily. He could take care of himself, he was an actor.

"Who was that?" Drew was hovering over my shoulder. "Jerkface? Who could possibly have the honor to be Jerkface in your contacts?"

"It's my little brother," Seriously? Luke didn't even have a phone. "From his iPad. Sorry about that."

He winked at me. He was so hot when he winked. "No problem." I heard his own phone beep. "What were you going to ask?" He was typing on his phone. "Oh my God, I forgot I was going to dinner with Rebecca tonight." He facepalmed himself. My heart dropped. Him and Rebecca were still a thing, why would he ask me to homecoming then? "It's not important," I picked up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. "See you tomorrow."

I was going to slap Jax when I got to him.

***

"You're paying for my taxi fare and you're driving me home."

"Ok, fine, a few more takes, then I'll bring you home."

I followed Jax through the set house and towards the wintery scenery, where Crimson was being tended to by makeup artists.

"How did your emotional scene go?" He smirked.

"I'm not in the mood. Just get on set." I flopped into my usual seat next to Leigh and crossed my arms.

"He isn't doing bad. You didn't have to come." She said.

Anger boiled within me. "What? He called me saying it wasn't going well."

"At first, but after he called you he was doing fine."

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I hated him so much.

I watched the scene sullenly, he put so much passion into his words, he was doing great, he didn't need me at all.

"Ready to go?" He asked when the scene was over.

I rolled my eyes and nodded. "I'm starting to think that you just like my company."

"I like your company when you aren't being a bigmouth."

I scoffed and Jax went off to change. Crimson was talking to Leigh by the food buffet. I still wanted to meet her so I walked over confidently.

"Hi, I'm Erica, I'm a huge fan."

It took her a moment, but then she turned to me. "You're a fan? Security!"

"I'm allowed on set, I'm with Jax."

She raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrows. "He would date someone like you?"

"I mean, we aren't dating but I'm allowed on set because-"

She was obviously bored and walked off. I thought she was nicer.

"Ready?" Jax came out in his usual outfit.

I nodded and followed him to his car.

"I never got an answer on your romantic encounter." He asked once we were in the car.

"I don't want to talk about it." I grumbled as I looked out the window. The truth was, I felt like crying. Why would he ask to go to homecoming if he already had a girlfriend? Rebecca is the one who wanted me to talk to him. Just one more moment with Drew, that's all I wanted, instead Jax had to take that away from me. He took everything away from me.

"Did he dump you?" Jax sounded giddy.

"I said I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me alone."

"God, something really bad must've happened."

"I said I don't want to talk about it! But you don't seem to want to do that, no I didn't get dumped. I wish you would just stop trying to come into my life. Just keep driving and don't ask, don't bring it up, don't tell me any of your hypotheses, and drive me home, please." He shut up after that.

I traced my finger along the window, trying to clear my head. How was I going to keep holding this secret in and live a regular life? How was I supposed to deal with Jax and focus on my love life without getting interrupted? Why couldn't Jax just act himself?

"Here." He pulled into my neighbor's driveway again. I got out and started walking up to the door. Jax pulled out of the driveway and I started walking to my real house.

I felt liked texting Drew, but what would I text him? "Are you and Rebecca dating? If so, why did you ask me to the dance?" No, I would focus on going to the dance with him and that would be that, he asked me, there is no guilt on my part.

"Mom, I'm starving, where are we ordering from?" I asked once I got inside. Our house was stunning, not a speck of dirt anywhere. Mom never cleaned, unless she hired someone, which would be highly unlikely since we are saving money until she can find a new job.

"Actually, sweetheart, we are having Ramen noodles for dinner." She was at the stove with a boiling pot of water, a package of Chinese noodles in her hand.

"Mom, I know you want to save money but I don't think eating Ramen over pizza will change much."

"Does the house look nice?" She was ignoring me as she broke the noodles in half. "I spent the whole day cleaning since I didn't have to go to work." She said that way too cheerily.

"I'm ordering pizza."

"No!" There was madness in her blue eyes. "We are saving money."

"Mom, I'll pay with my own salary, remember?"

She laughed. "Oh yeah, so I guess we aren't living in a no paycheck household, now we are living on a one paycheck, minimum wage household. Great." She was stirring the boiling water so fast that water splashed over the sides and sizzled on the stove.

I quickly ran over and pulled her into the living room and away from hot liquid.

"Mom, are you ok?"

Her crazed smile disappeared and she collapsed into sobs. "I would rather clean bedpans than stay home all day. I just want my job back." This is what I'm talking about, she always complains about the doctors and staff, but in the end she loves her job, no matter the kind of treatment she got.

"Tomorrow we are going to go out and find you a new job. You have all the credentials and the reason you got fired was for budget cuts, every hospital in LA will want you. We are going to get you a job at UCLA, ok?"

She nodded and sniffled.

I laid in bed that night with my eyes open, staring at my ceiling. How had my life become so strange and jumbled in such a short amount of time? It was all changing so fast and I just wanted to slow down.

I just wanted it to be normal again.

***

"Fully certified, Vassar for med school, seven years at Long Beach Memorial Hospital, every patient she treated survived." That may not have been totally true. "What do you mean you aren't hiring? The world needs nurses! Everyone wants to be a hotshot doctor and you need Noelle Wilde at your hospital!" I hung up angrily. I guess she wasn't going to UCLA after all. "What's up, Lukey?" It was noon and he just woke up, that was my thing.

"Hi." He grumbled as he pulled the Eggo waffles out of the freezer. He had been acting weird ever since mom told him she lost her job. Suddenly Luke thinks we are homeless.

"Mom called and said she was going to be out job hunting for a while, I have to go meet a friend, want to come with?" It wasn't really a question, we didn't trust him home alone, it's a fire hazard.

"Sure." He sighed.

"Luke, we aren't poor."

"Momma said we were poor."

"Momma is wrong."

He sighed again, louder and more depressingly. I chuckled and shook my head as I washed the dishes.

Libby picked Luke and I up to meet Jax at Stella's.

"Hey, Lukester." Libby greeted.

"Hi." He mumble/grumbled back.

"He's still upset about your mom?" She whispered.

I nodded. "It's ok though. Mom will find a job today and we will be a two paycheck household in the next week." I hope I wasn't jinxing it.

She lowered her voice. "Have you tried contacting your dad?"

"No!" I said too loudly. "God, no. Why would we call him? He doesn't want anything to do with us, so why would he give us money?"

"He is your dad, he has to provide for his children and, heaven forbid, you go broke, he has to provide for you."

"I'll be eighteen soon, it won't be his job, I'll be an adult. Besides, we aren't going broke, and if we ever did, Blair would help us out."

She pulled into Stella's and Jax's car wasn't in the parking lot like it usually was. Was he late? Was he coming? I almost started panicking. Did he take the hint not to come when I told him I wanted nothing to do with him? As much as I did hate him, we still had a movie to make, and if it wasn't perfect I would never forgive myself.

My panics subsided when I saw him in a bright blue VW bug in the side lot, a blond girl in the driver's seat. Once I looked closer, I saw that they were making out. I got a better look at the girl's face and realized it was Chloë Grace Mortez. Why the hell was he making out with her?! Then I remembered he was the most popular teen on the planet.

"Thanks for the ride." I had to practically drag Luke out of the car, he was still tired and mopey.

We walked over to Chloë's car and I rapped hard on Jax's window. They jumped away from each other and Chloë looked mortified, probably thinking I was a crazy fan.

"Are you done sucking on her face? Because we have a scene to practice."

Jax stuck his tongue out at me and kissed Chloë quickly on the cheek before coming inside with me.

"Funny, I thought you were going for Victoria. Did she reject you?" I made a pouty face.

"No, I just realized brunettes are annoying." He smirked at me and I scowled back. He turned to Luke. "Hey, dude."

Luke got fifty times happier when he fist bumped Jax. Great, the only thing that makes Luke happy makes me upset.

We sat down in our usual spot, Luke sat down next to Jax and not me. I felt a little hurt.

"Shall we get to work?" I offered.

He looked a little confused. "I'm surprised you aren't still gagging from my make out session."

I shrugged. "I still go to high school, remember? I see that stuff every day. Scene twenty three?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

He rolled his eyes.

"What? Hurry up."

"Most girls would shave their heads and eyebrows to be in your position, why aren't you into me?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Well, to start, you cut me in line at the movies, hate me, and you're also very selfish and snobby, anything else?"

"Most girls don't care about that stuff."

"Well I'm not like most girls." I froze. "Do you want me to be into you?!"

"No! God, no! It's actually a relief. Thank you for reminding me that I hate you as much as you hate me."

"You're welcome." I flipped the script open. "Lukey, you want a milkshake?"

"Mommy said that we have to drink water to save money."

"Save money?" Jax raised an eyebrow at me. "Why is your mom so keen on saving money?"

"She lost her job. It's no big deal. I can pay for his shake." Jax wouldn't look too far into it, he hates me, right?

Wrong.

"No, I've got it." He gave Marlene his credit card. "Anything else you want, bud?"

"Jax, you don't have to-"

He turned to me. "I'm not doing it for you, so shut up, bigmouth." He snapped.

Luke was grinning from ear to ear as Marlene handed him his milkshake.

"You never answered my question the other day, is the Darkling good or evil? Because his name suggests he is kind of a shady guy, but he seems nice enough."

"I'm not telling you until you read the book. 'Mal, I need to talk to you.'"

"You're nice." He scoffed. "'Now?'"

"'I need you to do something for me.'"

"'You mean other than deserting the army, scaling mountains, and freezing my ass off on the cold ground every night?'"

I looked up into his turquoise eyes, they were turquoise now, and something was wrong, but I left it alone and kept going.

He did phenomenal, whatever was wrong, it made him act like Mal.

"Wait, you're an actor?" It only took Luke an hour of us practicing for him to realize, then again, I think he was preoccupied with the surpluses of food he ordered.

"Yes, Luke, and you can't tell anybody. None of your friends on your soccer team, none of your teachers, not even mom."

"But, mommy knows everything."

"Hold up," he looked over at Luke, an eyebrow raised. "You didn't know who I was? Dude, I was in Revenge of the Dead," he turned to me. "Do you let this kid watch TV? Did I also mention I am the voice for Harry the Happy Hippo?"

"Oh I'm sorry that he only watches housewives and Grey's Anatomy."

Jax laughed.

"Hey!" Luke was beet red and he did that stupid pouty face thing. "I told you not to tell anyone."

"Totally manly, dude," Jax clapped Luke on the back. "Sometimes I can't resist a good ol' housewife cat fight myself."

"You seriously watch that?" I asked.

"Hell yeah, I watch them to feel better about myself, same reason why I keep up with the Kardashians."

Luke grinned, he must've lost a tooth last night because there was a gaping hole where his front tooth should be. "See, Erica? I'm not weird."

"Oh, Luke," Jax started. "You're definitely weird, but Erica is just boring."

Why did I think it was a good idea to bring Luke along with me? Now there were two boogers to gang up on me instead of one. "Come on, Luke, mom is probably home by now." I got out of there before Jax could say anything else.

Libby was still sitting in the parking lot, napping in her car. I startled her when I slammed the door shut. The boys gave me anxiety.

"Jesus, a 'Hey, Libby' would've worked fine." She grumbled as she turned her key in the ignition.

I stared at Luke in the rearview mirror, he looked all happy and giddy. "Strike one."

"What did I do?"

"Consorting with the enemy."

He crossed his arms and frowned. "Bitch." He grumbled.

I turned around in my seat. "Excuse me?!"

"You heard me!" He looked mad. "Bitch bitch bitch bitch you're a bitch and an ass and a party pooper and nobody likes you because you're a bitch!" Tears were filling his eyes.

"I'm going to let you handle him." Libby said quietly as she pulled out of the parking lot.

"Luke, don't say that."

"Why? You say it all the time." He was sniffling now, trying as hard as he could to fight back the tears in his blue eyes.

I took a deep breath. I couldn't blow up on him, I know why he was saying those things, he was going through something right now, so was I. I felt like telling bitch at all of mom's bosses and people who wouldn't give her a job. I felt like yelling bitch at Rebecca, and Drew. I felt like yelling bitch at Jax, even though he had a plausible reason.

We drove home silently, Luke sniffling in the backseat, Libby humming a Taylor Swift song, and me, letting out an exasperated breath every now and then, for no reason really.

"See you at work." She smiled weakly.

Work, the only thing between me and complete debt.

***

Just realized that a few of my images didn't publish so please forgive me and go back and look at 'em :)

Thanks so much for reading! Don't forget to comment your thoughts!

-RavenclawMaven1198