after work, san wasn't in the mood for anything. yunho tried to comfort him and pry some information out of him about his argument with jiyeon, but san wasn't interested. he kept thinking about it throughout the work day. if jiyeon truly saw that san was the only reason their relationship was falling apart, he didn't know what to say to her.

"san" he snapped out of his thoughts and look towards seonghwa who had an annoyed look on his face. "huh?" san furrowed his eyebrows and seonghwa sighed, "i said i'm ordering food. do you want anything?".

"oh, no thanks. i'll eat later" san said and seonghwa looked at san before sitting down next to him. "what's wrong this time?" he questioned, "did something happen?". san shook his head vehemently, "no, i'm good" he muttered but it was obvious by the frustrated look on his face that something was wrong.

"you must think i'm an idiot" seonghwa said, noticing that san had dozed off again, he flicked his finger against san's forehead.

"ow!" san glared at seonghwa and put his hand on the aching spot, "what was that for?". seonghwa grabbed both of san's shoulders by his hands so that they were facing each other.

"just talk to me, keeping stuff in your head won't solve your problems" seonghwa gently shook san's shoulders. as much as san hated to admit seonghwa was right in anything, he knew he was right this time. he didn't talk to yunho mainly because the events were so fresh, maybe talking to seonghwa would give him some clarity.

"okay fine" san reluctantly gave in, "i saw jiyeon today". seonghwa stared quietly and nodded, silently urging san to go on. "we had another argument" san finally let out with a deep sigh.

"what caused the argument?". san pursed his lips out and looked down, hiding his embarrassed face. "i, uh, thought she was seeing someone else and i got mad".

seonghwa nodded his head, "then what happened?". san could feel his cheeks redden. he really regretted the way he stormed up to jiyeon and caused a scene. "she said i was the reason why we have problems. she basically said everything was my fault".

"and you don't think so" seonghwa stated. san looked up at him and shook his head, "i think a lot of the issues are my fault but i don't think everything is on me", he ran his fingers through his hair, "it's not fair" he muttered.

"be honest. how do you feel about your relationship with jiyeon?" san looked at seonghwa puzzled, "what do you mean? i love her".

"i'm not talking about your feelings for her, i'm talking about your relationship together". san thought for a moment, "we were always fine but now all we do is fight and nothing ends up being resolved". san hadn't really gave much thought to how their relationship had changed over time. in the beginning, things were always smooth sailing for them. they never argued much and had great communication. it seemed that things had suddenly took a turn, but was the really san's fault?

"i've been wanting to say this but i kept it to myself since i didn't want to make you more upset, but you and jiyeon are on different paths". san looked back at seonghwa, "what do you mean?".

seonghwa thought for a moment, like he was trying to find the right words to use so he doesn't offend san, "jiyeon wants something that you don't want" he said carefully, "and i think that's causing problems between you two". san groaned, instantly knowing what seonghwa meant by "something".

"i never said i don't want to marry her" he said, clicking his tongue in annoyance, "she's just so pushy about doing it right now".

"well she wants it now. you may love each other but at the end of the day, if you both aren't aligned in what you both want, it's never going to work out". san sat quiet for a moment. him and jiyeon really weren't aligned. they used to be, they were fine with just working and spending time with each other and san is still fine with that, but now jiyeon isn't.

"so what should i do?" san asked and seonghwa shrugged. "it's up to you. do you think you and jiyeon can work it out? will you be okay with putting what you want aside for her?".

san bit his lip, feeling more confused than ever. he loved jiyeon, that much was certain. she was his first serious relationship, and they had been friends for years before. but despite his love for her, something felt off. the sparks and happiness they once shared seemed distant now. their moments together were overshadowed by impending arguments. he knew jiyeon was ready to settle down, but he wasn't. and he wasn't willing to sacrifice his own desires for her happiness, knowing it wouldn't bring him joy. deep down, he suspected jiyeon felt the same way. she herself had said she felt trapped in a one-sided relationship for months. even if san were to work less and spend more time with her, true happiness seemed out of reach because they weren't on the same page.

"i don't want to keep hurting her" he whispered, feeling tears sting his eyes. jiyeon had been hurt for a while, keeping their relationship on would only hurt her more since san can't give her what she wants. seonghwa gave san's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, "she knows that. and i know she wants you to be happy".

san drew a shaky breath and slowly nodded. how did this happen?

"i have to talk to her" he muttered, rubbing his eye to prevent any tears from falling. how would he even start a conversation like that with her? he pulled out his phone and opened his chat with jiyeon. his fingers paused over the keypad, what was he going to say to her?

"you don't have to do anything right now" seonghwa said, noticing san's hesitance, "you're not the best when your emotions are all riled up". san let out a sigh of relief and closed the chat.

a sudden, loud grumbling sound startled san and he jumped up and looked at seonghwa, who was rubbing his stomach.

"see what you did? i spent all this time being your therapist and i forgot about dinner" he whined at san and pulled out his phone to order his food.

"blame yourself, you were being nosy" san stuck out his tongue out at seonghwa who was glaring at him. he watched as seonghwa scrolled through different food options and an unsettling feeling sunk in his stomach. and it wasn't about jiyeon.

"shit!" his eyes widened and he jumped up, grabbing his phone and bag.

"what now?" seonghwa groaned while san was putting his shoes. "i have to go meet the guy for the catering, i completely forgot".

san slammed the door and rushed to his car. seeing that the gas was low, he grumbled. he was so preoccupied that he forgot to fill gas. he checked the time and realized how late he was. wooyoung was gonna kill him.

without any other options available, san started to run, hoping that wooyoung would still be waiting for him.