"What?"

Jisung felt like he was watching the worst moments of his life in slow motion and realizing it all over again when he figured out that he actually did it. He said what he's been thinking.

There was no going back. "I'm sorry to drop it on you like this, this was so sudden. I really am sorry."

"Sorry for dropping it all of a sudden or sorry for breaking up with me only days after we started dating?" He didn't know if she was actually indifferent or just good at acting.

He opened his mouth to answer but he didn't have any. And Mihui apparently understood his lack of speech and smiled at him in a way he's never seen her smiling. It was almost as though he was seeing her in a new light.

"You're not sorry for breaking up," she breathed out, not looking at him. Her fingers drummed on the round table as she inhaled a long breath and gulped, seemingly getting her thoughts together before she spoke. An admirable trait he's never had. "And no, it wasn't sudden. I kind of knew it was coming."

"Wait- you did?" The confusion that clouded him up till now was quickly overthrown by utter shock.

Mihui only chuckled at his loss of words. "You're pathetic. And yes, I knew that you weren't gonna be with me, and that is precisely why I asked you to be official with me because I wanted to see how long you could drag it on for."

"Does that mean-"

"That I don't mind? Sorry babe, I am not really the forgiving type. I really did like you, but I'm not gonna be treated as your consolation price. And I still don't like Eunae, I don't like how she has you wrapped around her finger," Mihui's voice sounded almost forced towards the end. "I don't like how the one person I have finally welcomed in my life likes her instead of me. So no, I am not okay with this breakup, but I know my worth and I will rather be alone." She abruptly stood up, "Also, I think you've got some competition," she whispered leaning down as the corner of her lips slanted upwards.

Jisung was never one to act straight when overwhelmed, and overwhelming was an understatement for what he felt. But he knew what Mihui meant by her last sentence, because it didn't take a genius to see how Eunae hadn't even noticed Jisung's presence because she was so engrossed in her conversation with whoever it was with her.

Competition? Mihui didn't exactly lie.

• • •

"What about Jaemin?" Shuhua asked skeptically.

"What about him?" Eunae tried acting oblivious, looking through her notes splayed in front of her on the library desk while Shuhua kept whispering as though they were planning a murder.

"He confessed, Eunae. That's a huge deal. And he's hot, pretty cute, got an okay personality as far as I have seen, cares about you, and most importantly, actually likes you unlike someone else."

"Do you really have to be so shady all the time?"

"When it comes to that pathetic cowardice shithead who can't function without attention acting like a knockoff version of Tinkerbell? You bet I do," she ended with a smile.

"It's almost like he betrayed you and not me," Eunae laughed lightly, being amused seeing how worked up Shuhua was getting.

"I am your best friend. He betrayed you, betrayed me. Same thing."

"Man you would be so scary as a girlfriend," Eunae scoffed, trying to focus on her studies. It wasn't really helping when Shuhua sat in front of her bitching about everything and everyone. She couldn't even lie and say she didn't enjoy the entertainment.

"You're dodging my question. Just tell me!"

"There's nothing to tell! I'm not Jisung or in your words 'pathetic cowardice shithead who can't function without attention acting like a knockoff version of Tinkerbell', so I wouldn't give him false hope if I don't reciprocate his feelings," Eunae said with all the clarity. There was so much in her life she wasn't certain about, but she was certain about this one thing, she wouldn't use anyone's emotions to cater to her own.

"Fair enough," Shuhua bit her lips in thought, "Hey, maybe you could send him my way you know," she mumbled incoherently, looking at anything but Eunae.

"Seriously?"

"What? He's cute!" Shuhua was quick to defend herself. "I just wanna feel something for someone, apparently I'm heartless as some people say," she rolled her eyes.

"Since when do you care about what people say? It's my thing," Eunae joked, but kept her eyes on Shuhua with concern swirling in them.

Shuhua was the one that made her life stable when she was in shambles after moving here so far away from her childhood home. If it wasn't for her, she would have had a terrible time getting used to things.

"Also what do you mean you want to feel something for someone? Don't you feel something for me?"

"Oh come on, you know what I meant."

"No, I really don't. I gotta tell you that platonic love is the best kind there is."

"You say that because you failed at any other kind of love."

"So much for being best friend, huh?"

"You love me anyway."

"That I do."

• • •

It was a bad idea. Terrible, even. Jisung still couldn't figure out what made him think coming to Jaemin out of all his friends, especially knowing how the older male felt about the whole ordeal.

I should have just gone to Chenle or Jeno instead. He kept thinking that through his way to Jaemin's workplace but somehow still ended up here.

He could spot Jaemin's silhouette through the semi transparent glass window, busy as usual. Only then did he realize something else. Eunae also worked there.

"Fuck," he audibly groaned and hit the door with his fist frustratingly. "Why do I keep messing up? What's gotten into me today?" He mumbled to himself, closing his eyes to ponder on his actions throughout the day and count the times he has embarrassed himself by being absolutely dense.

It took Jaemin about five minutes to stop what he was doing and finally look at Jisung. And surprisingly, he didn't show any emotions on his face, or maybe just like everyone else today, he too was acting weird.

"What do you want?" Jaemin went back to doing his job, barely paying Jisung the attention he sought.

"To apologize," he decided to go straight to the point.

This seemed to finally catch Jaemin's full attention as he stopped his movement and stood still for a second. Jisung could see his jaw clenching and his exhale of breaths in an attempt to calm himself. "And? What do you want from me?"

"I need your help. I need my friend's help, please," Jisung spoke with all the sincerity he could muster, taking a step closer to Jaemin. His head hung down as his eyes traced the mosaic floor, not being able to face Jaemin. "I need to apologize for everything. To you guys because I acted like a jerk to everyone, and mostly, to Eunae. I need her to forgive me, Jaemin. I don't think I can forgive myself if she doesn't." Jisung didn't plan to say any of this, neither did he prepare what to say beforehand. The words he sprouted out were of his own, ones that just flowed out of his mouths before he could stop himself.

"I can't help you with that," Jaemin replied coldly after taking a few seconds to himself. "As your friend I want her to forgive you, but as her friend, I don't think I can forgive you."

Of course, Jisung hadn't expected Jaemin to accept his apology right away and welcome him with open arms. He wouldn't have done it if he were in his shoes either. He didn't even think he was worth the forgiveness he was asking for, but if he wanted to live with himself without being tormented every second of the day, he needed to talk to her.

He needed her.

• • •

"And what's once was ours, is no one's now," Eunae sang in breathy voice, "I see you everywhere, the only thing we share is this— oh God, not now," she cursed herself for humming in such an exposed place and turned her head to the side, not wanting to look at the person she managed to make eye contact with.

It was yet another attempt of her trying to match the words with the tune but only this time she was sitting on the bench under the trees behind their campus, trying to take inspiration from the people walking around, mingling. But it hadn't crossed her mind that Jisung would be here.

Ever since she heard his conversation with Mihui from behind the door, she had been actively avoiding even the shadow of him, though it was quite a difficult cast given their several classes together and taking the same route often. But it wasn't impossible, since it was clear to her that she wasn't the only one putting all the effort into avoiding him, he did the same. Which was why they hadn't been unfortunate enough to end up in the same space with no one else to occupy them with.

Imagine Voldemort's laugh, or, or a snake pooping—

Eunae tried visualizing a couple of unsettling scenarios in her head to divert her mind. And to her delight, it wasn't useless. Until she realized that only this time, it truly was only her who wanted to avoid him because he was walking straight towards her and she was losing her mind and she couldn't think straight and she wished she could be invisible, and, and she really really wanted him to just hug her and tell her that everything was alright. But it wasn't a fairy tale, and she wasn't the most desired princess. It sucked, but it was reality.

"Eun." There it was, his voice. God, had she missed hearing it. And his nickname for her, something so intimate that was only between them. But soon the weakness in her knees turned to stones as soon as she remembered the words he had said to her that day, the way she cried herself to sleep because he made her believe she wasn't enough. That no one could love her.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that," Eunae said as sternly as she could, keeping her face neutral as her eyes looked into his without fervour. "What do you want?"

"To talk."

"I don't want to listen to you," she said curtly before gathering her stuff and standing up, "Please don't act like you know me, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

She didn't give him a second glance and she sauntered away, leaving him alone in the shadow, watching her figure disappear out of his sight.

But there was still a small smile playing on his lips, watching her go. He knew it wouldn't be easy, she was a challenge. One he was willing to take.

One he would do anything to win.