Ruination, not ruined

Nikolai left to go with his family and Kaida walked with Zoya and Jake towards Genya and the rest were.

"Who said it?" Kaida asked angrily.

"Sergei let her real name slip," Jake explained. Kaida was tired of that boy. He was annoying and he always complained about what they were doing.

"I swear I'm going to end him," Kaida said angrily.

"They are coming to take her right now," Zoya said. The three of them started running.

"Here!" Nadia signaled them.

"Finally," David signed.

"The King is waiting," a guard said.

"Let him wait," Both Zoya and Kaida said.

"Kaida," Genya whisper made Kaida's anger disappear.

"Genya," Kaida walked towards her. "Listen, no one will hurt you,"

"It's the exact same thing I said," Alina said.

"He is the King," Genya said, scared.

"He is not the king of anything anymore," Alina said confidently. "You must affront him,"

"Genya, pay attention. No one, I swear to you, no one will hurt you. I don't care if I have to face trial. No one will touch you," Kaida was really serious, she would do everything she could to protect Genya, even if that meant to reveal a secret she's been hiding for years.

"For him to see me...brought low like this—"

"You are still beautiful, Genya, scars or not," Kaida said with determination.

"The guards are getting antsy," Mal warned.

"I can't do this,"

"You can," Alina said, taking Genya's hand.

"We've got you," Mal said.

"Why?" Genya asked in a shaky breath.

"Because you saved us. You got between us and The Darkling. I don't reserve my friendship for perfect people. And, thank the Saint, neither does Alina," Mal said.

"Genya, I need you to trust me," Kaida said.

Genya looked at her for a few seconds and then took a deep breath. "All right,"

"We're ready," Alina said to the guards.

Mal and the twins got behind Genya, Alina and Kaida as their guards and started walking, but then Alina holded up her hand.

"Stay here," she said to the other Grisha, "and keep alert," she said quietly.

They stopped walking in front of the door to the room the King and Queen were.

"You are going to be okay," Kaida whispered to Genya before they entered.

The gray eyed girl was surprised to see the King and the Queen in terrible conditions. The King looked way older than the last time she saw him and the Queen was without her fancy clothes and jewelry.

Kaida saw Nikolai standing next to his mother and a painful ache appeared in her heart. She looked away, she didn't have time for her greed, now her friend needed her.

The King looked at Alina and Kaida. "I didn't ask to see these witches,"

Kaida saw how Alina forced herself to bow. "Moi tsar," Alina said.

The King turned to see Kaida, hoping to see her bow too, but Kaida locked her eyes with him and lifted her chin, without bowing.

The King's face turned red with anger for a few moments and then he barked. "Where is the traitor?"

Genya took a step forward. Her hands shook as she lowered her shawl. The King gasped. The Queen covered her mouth.

Kaida looked for a few seconds at Nikolai's realization face. He glanced at her, but his eyes were soft. Kaida quickly turned her eyes towards the King.

"What is this?" the King murmured.

"This is the price she paid for saving us," Alina said, " for defying the Darkling,"

The King scowled. "She is a traitor to the crown. I want her head,"

"She is under protection," Kaida said. Her chin up and radiating confidence.

"Under whose protection?" The King mocked.

"Duke Kenyva from Tisbeya," She said, taking a step forward.

"He is dead," The King said.

"My name is Kaida Kenyva, daughter of Charles and Mila Kenyva. Duke of Tisbeya," All of the presents in the room looked at her with surprise and amusement. "Genya Safin is under the protection of the Duke Kenyva,"

"We don't believe you. You do not have a way to prove it," the King said with anger.

"Yes, I have," Kaida said. "The Duke Kenyva's daughter had a birthmark on her shoulder. It was an unclosed triangle with two circles in the middle and the smaller one crossed out and three dots between each line of the unfinished triangle," Kaida left part of her shirt slip from her shoulder showing the mark on her shoulder.

The Queen gasped in surprise and the King looked at her with anger.

"That's impossible!" The King shouted. "I hired assassins to kill all your family!" all the people gasped and looked at the King with amusement.

"My King," The Queen said unbelievably.

All the room fell silent. Alina, Mal, Genya, Tamar, Tolya and Nikolai were looking at Kaida, expecting anger in her features, but she was completely calm.

"I will take my punishment if he takes his," Genya said looking at Nikolai, breaking the silence.

"You will stay silent among your betters!" The King barked. "How did you survive?" the King asked Kaida, but she didn't answer.

"I have no better here," Genya said, making Kaida smile.

"If you think that—" The Queen sputtered.

"Why wouldn't she?" Kaida said looking at the Queen defiantly. " And you want to know how I survived?" Kaida asked, looking at the King. "I didn't. All the Kenyva died that day. But years after one of them was reborn," The King and Queen looked at her paralyzed.

"If he can not be tried for his failures as a King, let him be tried for his failures as a man," Genya said, she was trembling but her voice was steady and strong.

"You ungrateful whore! And you!" The King looked at Kaida, hate in his eyes, disgust in his voice. "Charles Kenyva and Mila Kenyva didn't have a daughter, they had a monster,"

Kaida staggered back. Monster. It was as if she had been slapped. What had happened with Nikolai came back to her mind, his lack of words, his look. His look. Kaida felt as if someone had buried his hand in her chest and ripped out her heart. Kaida felt her wall crumble leaving her badly wounded heart unprotected, but she forced herself to take a deep breath and keep her composure, even though she felt how little by little the cracks in her world were getting bigger and bigger around her.

"That's enough," Nikolai said. "Both of you,"

"I'm Ravka's King. I will not—"

"You are a King without a throne," said Nikolai quietly. "And I respectfully ask that you hold your tongue,"

The King shut his mouth, a vein pulsing at his temple.

Nikolai tucked his hands behind his back. "Genya Safin, you are accused of treason and attempted murder,"

"If I'd wanted him dead, he'd be dead," Genya said.

Nikolai gave her a warning look.

"I didn't try to kill him,"

"But you did something to the King, something from which the court doctors said he'd never recover. What was it?"

"Poison,"

"Surely it could have been traced,"

"Not this. I designed it myself. If given in small enough doses over a long enough time, the symptoms are mild,"

"A vegetable alkaloid?" David asked.

Genya nodded. "Once it builds up in the victim's system, a threshold is reached, the organs begin to fail, and the degeneration is irreversible. It's not a killer. It's a thief. It steal years. And he will never get them back,"

Kaida saw how Alina felt a little chill noticing Genya's voice of satisfaction, but she was proud of her. Kaida had a big smile on her face.

The Queen started to shake her head. "Small amounts over time? She didn't have that kind of access to our meals—"

"She didn't have to," Kaida said.

"I poisoned my skin," Genya said harshly. "my lips. So that every time he touches me—"she looked at David for a few seconds. "Every time he kissed me, he took sickness into his body. He brought this on himself,"

"But the poison would have affected you too," Nikolai said.

"I had to purge it from my skin, then heal the burns the lye would leave. Every single time," Her fists clenched. "It was well worth it,"

Nikolai rubbed a hand over his mouth. "Did he force you?"

Genya nodded once. A muscle in Nikolai's jaw ticked.

"Father. Did you?"

"She is a servant, Nikolai. I didn't have to force her,"

After a long moment, Nikolai said. "Genya Safin, when this war is over, you will stand trial for high treason against this kingdom and for colluding with the Darkling against the crown,"

The King broke into a smug grin. But Nikolai wasn't done.

"Father, you are ill. You had served the crown and the people of Ravka, and now it is the time for you to take the rest you deserved. Tonight, you will write a letter of abdication,"

The King blinked confused. "I will do no such—"

"You will write the letter, and tomorrow you will leave on the Kingfisher. It will take you to Os Kervo, where you'll be seen safely aboard the Volkvolny and across the True Sea. You can go someplace warm, maybe the Southern Colonies,"

"The Colonies?" The Queen gasped. Kaida rolled her eyes.

"You will have every luxury. You will be far from the fighting and the reach of the Darkling. You will be safe."

"I am the King of Ravka! This...this traitor, this—"

"If you remain, I will see you tried for rape,"

The Queen took one hand to her heart. "Nikolai, you can not mean to do this,"

"She was under your protection, mother,"
"She is a servant!"

"And you are a queen. Your subjects are your children. All of them,"
The King advanced to Nikolai. "You would send me from my own country on so slight a charge—"

Now, Tamar broke the silence. "Slight? Would it be slight if she had been born noble?"

Mal crossed his arms. "If she'd been born noble, he would never had dared,"

"It is not a solution at all!" The King barked. "It is cowardice!"

"And you are the one saying those words, hypocrite," Kaida barked with hate.

"Control your mouth, monster,"

"Call me monster all you want, but I'm not the one that raped a girl just because I thought I had the right," Kaida said.

"No, you were the girl," The King said. All the people in the room gasped. Nikolai's eyes burned with fire on them, Kaida had never seen him and felt him so angry.

Kaida's jaw tensed and clenched her hands into fists. "Yes, I was. And now they are all dead,"

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, just stating the facts," Kaida said.

"I cannot put this crime aside," Nikolai intervened.

"You have no right, no authority. Who are you to sit in judgment of your King?"

Nikolai stood up straighter . "These are Ravka's laws, not mine. They should not bow to rank or status," he tempered his tone. "You know this is for the best. Your health is failing. You need rest, and you are too weak to lead our forces against the Darkling,"
"Watch me!" The King roaded.

"Father, the men will not follow you,"

The King's eyes narrowed. "Vasily was twice the man you are. You are weakling and a fool, full of common sentiment and full of common blood,"
"You say Vasily was twice the man he is. It's that because he was just like you? A man who didn't ask for permission, and acted without consentiment. I was lucky I could defend myself and manipulate his weak mind, but others had not such luck," Kaida said, chin lifted.

Nikolai looked at her for a few seconds. "You will write that letter, and you will board the Kingfisher without protest. You will leave this place, or you will face trial, and if you are found guilty, then I will see you hang,"

The Queen let out a small sob.

"It is my word against hers," the King said, pointing at Genya. "I'm the King—"

Alina stepped between them. "And I am a Saint. Shall we see whose words carries more weight?"

"And I am a noble. And Genya Safin is under my protection," Kaida said, getting next to Alina.

"You shut your mouth, you grotesque little witch. I should have had killed you when I had the chance. And you...you, monster. I should have chained you up and thrown you in a cell to rot years ago."

"Too bad you didn't," Kaida said hatefully.

"That is enough," Nikolai snapped, his patience gone. He gestured to the guards. "Escort my father and mother to their rooms. Keep them under watch and ensure they speak to no one. I will have your abdication by morning, Father, or I will have you in irons,"

"You are no Lantsov," The King snarled.

"I find I can live with it," Nikolai said, making Kaida smile.

Nikolai signed to the guards who started to escort the King and the Queen out of the room, but the King paused before Genya.

"At least now you look like what you truly are," he said. "Ruined,"

Kaida saw Genya's expression, as if someone had just slapped her in the face. Mal moved forward. Tamar's hands went to her axes, Tolya growl and Kaida started to summon purple mist, but Genya stopped them by lifting a hand.

"Remember me when you are on board that ship, Moi tsar. Remember me when you take your last look at Ravka as it slips beneath the horizon," then she leaned in and whispered something they couldn't listen. The King turned pale, Kaida could see and feel real fear in him. "I hope the taste of me was worth it,"

Genya held her chin up until the King and queen left, then her shoulders sagged.

David went to embrace her but she pushed him away. "Don't. I don't want you pity," she said ferociously. "You don't understand. None of you do,"

"Genya—"David tried.

"Don't you dare," tears rolling down her cheeks. "You never looked at me twice before I was like this, before I was broken. Now I'm just something for you to fix,"

David bunched up his shoulders and said. "I know metal,"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Genya cried.

David frowned. "I...I don't understand half of what goes on around me. I don't get jokes or sunset or poetry, but I know metal," he flexed his fingers unconsciously. "Beauty was your armor. Fragile stuff, all show. But what's inside you? It 's steel. It's brave and unbreakable. And it doesn't need fixing," David took an awkward step towards her and put his hands on her cheeks. For a moment, they thought she was going to push him away but then, they kissed.

Mal cleared his throat, Tamar whistled, Alina bit her lip and Kaida smiled at them.

They broke apart and Kaida could swear that she never had seen someone as red as David at that moment.

"We should get you out of the workshop more often," Genya said with a smile.

Now Alina laughed but all her laugh disappeared when they turned to see Nikolai.

"Do not think to rest easy, Genya Safin," his voice was cold and deeply weary. "When this war is over, you will face charges, and I will decided whether or not you are to be pardoned,"

Genya bowed gratefully. "I don't fear your justice, Moi tsar,"

"I'm not the King yet,"

"Moi tsarevich," she amended.

"Go," he said, waving them away. Kaida looked at Nikolai for a few seconds, she knew him, she knew he was sad about what happened. She was proud of him, very proud, but looking into those hazel eyes was still very painful.

The gray eyed girl looked at her friend with a small smile on her mouth and winked at her before leaving the room.

⚜️⚜️⚜️

Kaida was in her new room, she asked for a change after the trial. She was deep in her thoughts, her heart hurt, a lot. Why could her friend be happy and her not? She didn't know if the question would have an answer some day, but by now, the only thing she could think about was Nikolai's absence of words.

A knock in the door sounded.
"Come on in," Kaida said. From the door appeared Genya. "Hey! How are you?"

"I'm better, thank you," she said. "I came to ask you if you are joining us for dinner?"

"No, I'm not hungry, thank you," Kaida answered.

"Kaida, I wanted to say thank you. For what you did," Genya said gratefully.

Kaida shook her head. "You don't have to thank me," Genya smiled at her. "What did you say to the King?"

"Na razrusha'ya. E'ya razrushost," I am not ruined, I am a ruination.

Kaida looked at her proudly. "I'm so proud of you, Genya Safin,"

"Thank you. And Kaida, you need to know you are not a monster," Genya said gently.

"Yes I am," Kaida said sadly. "But monsters can also be happy, or I hope so,"

"Kaida—"

"Please, don't. I don't want to have this conversation," Kaida interrupted.

"Okay," Genya said sadly. "If you are hungry you know where to find us," Genya looked at her once more and then she left.

Kaida got up from the bed, where she was sitting, and walked to where she had some of her clothes to take between her hands with small scars on them the white linen pajamas. She walked to the back of the dresser and proceeded to take off the clothes she was wearing.

While he was changing, the door to her room was opened.

"Genya, I'm really not hungry," Kaida said as she let the white dress slide down her body. Kaida stepped out from behind the dresser and stood in place as she saw the person she was.

"Hello," he said in a shy manner.

"Hello," Kaida replied, unable to look at him.

"Kaida," he said, taking a step toward her. Kaida didn't move. "I know I've hurt you, a lot. I... You don't know how sorry I am. I was shocked by the fact that you were capable of summon shadows and I froze---"

"You're afraid of me?" Kaida looked up, showing her gray eyes lit with fear.

"No," Nikolai said. "Kaida, I would never be afraid of you. Summon shadows or not. Never," Kaida had never heard Nikolai speak so seriously in her life. Nikolai was now inches away from her. The blond took her hands in his gently. "Kaida, I want you to know that you are the most spectacular person I have ever met in my life. You are no monster, never have been and never will be. Thanks to you I am the person I am. You have taught me to ignore what people think of me, you made me want to be a better person, you saved me, and a monster doesn't do that. Listen to me, never. Never, ever think that you are a monster, because you are the most generous, kind, caring, understanding, kind, strong, fighter person I have ever met in my life and will ever have the honor to meet. I would never be afraid of you, because if that were to happen, it would mean that I have failed you."

Kaida looked at Nikolai with her eyes filled with tears. "Thank you," Kaida whispered as she wrapped her slender arms around his strong torso.

"It is I who should thank you," Nikolai replied, wrapping his strong arms around her body.

Kaida broke the embrace and looked into Nikolai's hazel eyes for a few seconds before standing on tiptoe and bringing their lips together in a sweet kiss.

"I promise never to fail you again," Nikolai whispered.

"You've never failed me," Kaida whispered back before kissing him again.

The kiss began to become more furious, more passionate, more needy. Kaida brought her hands to Nikolai's blond hair and began to play with it. Nikolai, on the other hand, placed his hands on Kaida's hips and pulled her closer to his body.

He needed her closer. She needed him closer.

Kaida lowered her hands to Nikolai's shoulders and then kept them down until she slipped them under his jacket so she could take it off.

The jacket slid down Nikolai's strong arms and Nikolai brought his hands up delicately caressing Kaida's bare arms.

The kiss became more intense and now Kaida moved her hands unbuttoning Nikolai's shirt.

"Wait," Nikolai said, breaking the kiss. "Are