"oh hello" shoto says. it was two in the morning and katsuki was back from his date with eijirou, now his clothes were messier than earlier and shoto smirks knowing that they did something stupid.

no answer. shoto knew better than saying hello after pissing someone off. he looked at bakugo's movements carefully trying not to flinch. he knows bakugo would never hurt him but the idea of angry and pain being bound to be together was still engraved in his brain. shoto didnt show it but he was terrified.

"wow giving me the silent treatment"

"im not giving you shit"

"come on, what did i do"

"youre lying. all the fucking time, youre basically living here you can at least be frank with people."

"sorry"

"dont fucking apologise tell me why you had a handprint on your neck"

"I told you it was-"

"you couldnt have put makeup the same day you got it, you were running away. its a fresh print its not like makeup is magic it still shows if you look closely"

"i cant"

"why not"

"if i do it means that its real and its going to suck even more and i dont know"

"whats going to suck, did you meet endeavor again?"

"no"

"then what"

"i cant"

"is someone going to hurt you like right now and try to kidnap you?"

"not that i know of"

"then fuck it, fine" he says and plopps down  next to shoto his back against the air matress as he stares at the wall.

"so how was it"

"i was the one who planned of course it was great"

"thats good"

"youre a piece of shit todoroki"

"first of, i know. second, dont call me todoroki ew, just insult me or call me by my name im sure were past that. did i tell you that im aware of my shittiness?"

"yeah good thing youre aware, giving me a headache"

"so you do care"

"i never said that"

"people who dont care dont get headaches about something they have no interest in"

"fuck off" bakugo turns to face shoto and shoto can barely see his featuresnin the dark room but by the way the air around them thickened shoto knew something that he wouldnt want to talk about was about to be adressed. "why didnt you tell me you were ace?"

"word goes around fast"

"thats besides the point"

"i dont know actually, i was probably scared."

"im literally gay"

"yeah i wasnt scared from you, idiot" shoto laughs "i was scared for it to be true"

"eh?"

"i dont have the best of backrounds so i wanted to have someone i love and a pet and a kid to show dear old father im much better then he ever was. but its a fantasy, it wont happen because i dont find the point in love, i dont look at someone and feel like i want to kiss them and keep them close. i never had that. here you are going on dates  so telling me itll be fixed with age wont work. it sucks. im always going to end up alone and i figured that if i saud it out loud it would make it true."

"fuck"

"yeah"

"youre an idiot." bakugi says after a couple seconds in silence. "you dont have to fall in love to make people stay you dimwit. you can adopt, its not like being asexual takes away all the loving, you can still love your kid and youre idiots or whatever you call them, its not like you cant do that"

"baku-"

"i have no idea what youre going through and youre probably saying much less then you actually mean, but youre not half bad, someone would want to stick around platonically, multiple someones probably"

"would you?"

"sure" bakugo smiles "if i dont youll get yourself and your kid killed. you probably dont even know how to turn on the stove"

"no i actually do pompoms, your mom taught me"

"so you can do it alone?"

"oh fuck no i aint getting near one"

"you literally have a fire quirk"

"yeah, your point?"

"you know what, fuck off youre an idiot and i need to sleep, if anyone ever asks, this conversation was a fever dream because youre an angsty teen in need of love"

"sure, ill make sure to add sparkles when i tell the story"

"youre an asshole"

"i am well aware thanks"

____________

"need to talk to you" was the first thing aizawa said in the morning instead of giving him the papers for the internships.

"huh?"

"come on, now" aizawa says after he yells at somone to mind their business and to shut up and looks at him "come on i dont have all day kid"

shoto leaves the class following his teacher to his office, it wasnt like he was missing out it was just homeroom but shoto was scared of what might happen in a few seconds. he couldnt bear anymore hurt after the stunt his mother pulled so he hoped it was a joke.

a messed up one.

"whats going on?" shoto says as he plopps down in the chair parallel to aizawa's "am i like, the special student you drink tea with because if thats the case-"

"who are you going to intern with"

"uh... you still didnt give me my papers"

"its useless you only have one invite"

"WHAT? BUT I HAD PLENTY, ALMOST 700"

"yes i know, i was also surprised when the pros pulled back so i asked the ones that complimented you the most, turns out endeavor threatened everyone on that list, hes the invite you have"

"im not intering under him"

"oh my god, yes thats why i made all the unecessory steps to my office, you have one other invute but its not official yet"

"and who might that be?"

"hawks"

"fuck"

"whats wrong with hawks"

"hes an idiot, cant get his head out of his ass its so far up hes almost blind"

"i see you like him"

"is it that obvious? could you tell i have three posters of him hung on my wall?"

"this is no time for jokes, its either endeavor or him"

"why not you, i think i could learn a whole lot from you my very dedicated mentor and only parental-"

"nice try, dont guilt trip me i cant make someone intern for me im an underground hero"

"so its either abusive or idiotic"

"exactly"

"i think ill pass"

"wha- you cant do that"

"im not working with hawks he-"

"has his head so far up his ass hes blind, you said that but why? you would rather just stay with no internship?"

"yes"

"sign the papers, youre going to be with hawks and that the end of the story, got it?"

"dont i need a lawyer for this?"

"Wha- KID ITS AN INTERNSHIP SIGN UP, GOD"

"wow okay, no need to get heated"

"why do you not want to intern under hawks does he hurt you?"

"hurts my brain thats for sure"

"i just need one normal answer thats alli ask for"

"he used to date my brother"

"natsuo?"

"hah it wouldve been funny but no"

"then-"

"the dead one, he used to date the dead one,  kept coming even after he died, endeavor thought they were friends, it was really funny. he was like historians but for the todoroki legacy, kept calling them friends or besties"

"you have a dead brother?"

"yes. the situation kinda reminded me of this song, its like and historians will call them nani nani whats so whats not, you know it? oh yeah of course you do youre gay. but thats beside the point"

"i- what the fuck"

"was that blunt? sorry working on it"

"yes that was blunt and second WHY DIDNT I KNOW YOU HAD A DEAD BROTHER"

"Doesnt everyone? its like this angsty character development shit that makes the quirky main character srronger. its literally the storyline of every anime. its the ones that get power by screaming, you think that would happen to me if i tried. now i want to try it seems interesting."

"shoto, sign the papers stop stalling i dont want you to get back on studies because of- what?"

"you called me shoto"

"yeah so? im sure you dont want me to call you todoroki"

"yeah no i mean yeah i didnt, ill-" shoto stammered through his words "ill sign the papers ill work under hawks"

"you serious?"

"yeah"

"kid? you okay"

"yeah yeah im fine, juat give me the papers and ill be on my way"

"you sure youre okay"

"yeah"

shoto signs the papers and runs to the bathroom to wash his face. it had been a while since anyone said shoto's name so kindly and gently like it had been a fragil glass on the verge of breaking. aizawa made sure to keep the glass in his palms and even though the shards would hurt he kept holding on the glass.

shoto wanted to cry. he knew he couldnt but it was too much, too much for a week. too much. he wants to cry to sob to hug someone and to have someone continuously tell him that its okay as he yells wholeheartendly in their shirt.

shoto wanted someone to look at him with kind eyes and not pity. the bakugo's and aizawa did a perfect job and shoto felt selfish for asking for more.

it hurts, shoto thinks clutching his shirt at the spot of where his heart should be, it hurts so bad.