07 | GAZE

THE RAIN WAS FALLING madly that morning when she woke up.

This is her favourite weather, but not this time of the year where she has classes as rain is just an inconvenience for a student like her.

She sighed by the sight.

Malakas ang ulan at mukhang walang planong tumigil. Dinig niya ang bawat pagpatak sa kanilang bubong at kita niya kung paano ito maghimagsik sa lupa. Even though she was inside her room and she was still lying on her bed, she could see how the rain fell madly on the earth, even though droplets of rainwater were sticking on her glass window. She could see how the water reflected on the greeneries and it shined despite the darkness of the world.

She looked at the clock beside her and found out it was almost their first period. Nasarapan siya sa pagtulog dahil malamig, 'yon pala, umuulan at nagising na late na late nang papasok sa klase kapag nagkataon.

However, it feels impossible to go to school because of how dark the sky was, taking over the happiness of yesterday's weather condition.

Sa lahat ng panahon na gusto niya ay ang ulan, pero hindi niya gusto ang ganito. She would rather like the summer with stormy rainy days rather than this season.

Napaupo muna siya sa kama niya at binuksan ang messaging app niya. Her classmates were all chatting if they are going to their first period and second period. Napagtanto niyang malakas din ang ulan sa city dahil nagcha-chat din mga kaklase niya na taga-city.

Kahit ayaw niyang pumasok, kailangan niya pa ring pumasok sa school dahil baka kung ano na ang nangyayari doon at wala siyang alam pagkatapos. She found it hard for herself to rely on someone like how she relied on her father for the rest of her life, but left them at the end.

She heaved a sigh and shook her head. She should not think about it early this morning.

She was about to turn off her phone to charge when she found a message she sent on Chase last night.

It was never seen, but it was already delivered. She was planning on removing it, but she was grateful and she thinks she has the responsibility of saying it on him. Her shoulders dropped as she sighed and stared at the floor with empty eyes, but her head was flooded by different questions about Chase.

Marami siguro ang nagse-send ng mga chat sa lalaki kaya hindi na siya aasang makita pa iyon ni Chase. But if Chase will see her chat, what will be his reaction? Napasimangot naman siya. The thought of Chase not being interested just made her day gloomy. Ano pa bang maaasahan niya?

She went to cooked her breakfast, eggs and pancakes, and after eating them, she went to take a bath. The cold water kissing her skin embraced her body. She shivered so she quickened her pace and ran towards her room after. Hindi niya kinaya ang lamig pero kailangan niya pa ring maligo. Then, she wore her uniform, a maroon skirt, white corset blouse, and maroon necktie with embroidered letters of her strand. She looked at herself in the mirror and found herself . . . just fine, nothing to be expected on her normal appearance.

Walking in the middle of the rain, she was shivering because of how cold it was and even though she was wearing her blue plain jacket with a light blue umbrella to protect herself from rain, it was not helping at all. Additionally, she was only wearing her sandals because of the rain.

Sa pag-iisip niya na baka hindi na siya makasasakay papunta ng school dahil sa lakas ng ulan at puno ang mga tricycle, swerte niya at may dumaan na bus at tumigil sa harapan niya. She silently thanked God at sumakay na. Pagpasok walang bakanteng upuan kaya tumayo na lang siya. May mga nakatayo rin kaya hindi na mahalaga sa kaniya kung wala siyang mauupuan basta makasakay lang siya at makapunta sa school.

Nakadaan na sila sa bayan ng Panay at nakita niyang bukas ang café. Her eyes caught her water, watching watering the plants by rainwater. She could not help herself, but smiled and went to turn on her phone and send her mother a message.

Precious:

saw you outside in the café, ma. nakasakay na ako sa bus at papuntang school na

A minute later after she sent her message, she received a reply from her mother. She smiled.

Mama:

mag-ingat ka! sa bus ka na lang din sumakay mamaya kung maulan.

Precious:

okay maaaaa 💙

She turned her phone off with a smile on her face. Mahal na mahal niya talaga ang Mama niya at sa tuwing aalis siya ng bahay nagse-send kaagad siya ng mensahe kung nasaan siya at kung ano ang ginagawa niya, malayo sa bahay nila.

Her mother said that she should not waste her time texting her information about her as if it was not her responsibility since she's already old. But it feels like as her mother's only child, she was responsible for updating her whereabouts and what was happening to her.

Nakarating na siya sa school nila at malakas pa rin ang buhos ng ulan. No one dared to walk in the middle of the rain and they were on the footwalk, but she was walking in the middle as if the rain was her friend and she regretted it because she gathered some attention and she got wet.

Pagkarating niya sa room nila, basang-basa siya sa ilalim na parte ng kaniyang katawan at medyo basa rin ang isang parte ng balikat niya.

Magulo at maingay ang buong room. Konti pa lang ang nasa loob dahil na rin siguro sa lakas ng ulan.

Her eyes wandered and found Clark, who was surrounded by their girls' classmates, and he was having the time of his life talking with them together with his friends. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

She left her umbrella outside and fixed herself even though she was wet. Aayusin niya na lang sarili niya sa loob ng room. Pagpasok, maraming tumingin sa kaniya at binati naman siya ng mga kaklase niyang lalaki.

"Good morning, Precious!"

Bumati naman siya pabalik, "Good morning!"

Some boys wanted to have a fist bump with her, ngunit hindi na lang tinuloy. The other girls kept on looking at her as if she was a mosquito, but she decided not to look their way because it seemed like she was a bother to everyone.

Pagkaupo niya sa upuan niya malapit sa bintana, kumuha kaagad siya ng panyo sa bag niya at pinunasan ang sarili. Hinubad niya rin ang jacket niya at nakaramdam kaagad siya ng lamig ngunit nilagay niya iyon sa ilalim ng katawan niya para hindi malamigan ang ilalim na parte ng katawan. Kaso mas nilamigan pa siya at mas lalong giniginaw.

"Hoy! Paandarin ko lang electric fan dito, huh!" sabi ng mga kaklaseng nasa unahan niya.

She was just watching outside the building when she suddenly felt a cold air kissing her bare skin and she shivered from the cold.

Hindi niya mapigilang samaan nang tingin ang nagpa-andar ng electric fan kaso hindi ito nakatingin sa kaniya kaya napasimangot na lamang siya habang nanginginig.

However, she suddenly felt someone hug her and put a windbreaker jacket on her. It was suddenly warm. From the smell of the person behind her with the scent of the fresh leaves and the air the nature breathes, she knew who it was.

May narinig naman siyang sumipol sa likuran niya. Hindi niya mapigilang mapapikit ng mga mata.

"Hoy! Patayin niyo nga 'yang electric fan niyo. Kitang malamig, e!" sigaw ni Clark sa mga kaklaseng nasa unahan. Nasa likod niya pa rin ang lalaki at nakahawak sa sandalan ng upuan niya.

Napabaling naman ito nang tingin sa kaniya at sumagot, "E, ang init!"

"Anong mainit? E, ang lamig!" naiinis na sagot ni Clark.

"Gago, boy! Malamig!" sigaw naman ng lalaki sa likuran na hula niya ay ang mga barkada ni Clark.

She rolled her eyes and looked at the jacket Clark gave her. It was a windbreaker jacket made from a popular brand. She felt warmth and fitted herself of the jacket since it was big enough to cover her.

Maganda ang tela at pakiramdam niya ay nabawasan ang lamig na naramdaman niya. Ang problema, hindi na nakasuot ng jacket si Clark at naka-uniporme ito. Though, his uniform was not wet and looks very clean, but he looked very cold because of the thin fabric.

She sighed and holds the jacket tightly. Wala siya sa posisyon mag-reklamo ngayon kay Clark kahit gusto niya dahil malamig.

Nagtatalo pa rin sina Clark kasama ang mga barkada nito at ang mga kaklase nitong lalaki ngunit sa huli ay pinatay na rin ang electric fan dahil nakaramdam din ito ng lamig.

"Mga gagu!" sigaw ng mga babae niyang kaklase at nakipagtawanan.

"Kitang malamig nga, e," sabi ni Clark at tumawa.

"E kung nag-jacket ka kaya!" sabat ng kaklase niyang lalaki na tumapat sa electric fan kanina.

Sumagot naman si Clark, "Paki niyo ba? Desisyon ko magsuot ng jacket o hindi."

"Ow, boy! Basahin niyo naman ang panahon ngayon!" Clark's friends and laughed.

She sighed and looked outside again. Gusto niyang may gawin siya pero ayaw ng katawan niyang gawin ang mga bagay na makakakuha ng atensyon ng iba.

She felt someone sit beside her, but she knew who it was because she had been sitting beside him. Hindi naman siya ang pumwesto rito, in fact, ang lalaki pa mismo ang nakipagpalit ng upuan para lang tumabi sa kaniya.

Alam niya ring nanliligaw ito sa kaniya. She already said no, but the guy was so persistent. Last year lang ito nanligaw sa kaniya, around November, nasa eleventh grade pa lang sila kung kaya ay siyam na buwan na itong nanliligaw sa kaniya.

She hates this feeling, but she felt a little grateful that Clark was beside her because it was uncomfortable that last year when she went here, a lot of her classmates who were boys asked about her existence, whether where she went in junior high and if she was really from her previous school.

Sanay siyang may nagtatanong sa kaniya dati, pero pagkatapos mangyari ang mga nangyaring hindi dapat malaman ng iba, nag-iba ang pakikitungo ng mga tao sa kaniya. Kaya noong nandito na siya sa bago niyang papasukan, nakakapanibago dahil tanggap agad siya ng mga tao ngunit meron din namang hindi.

However, it has become chaotic after the first week of classes because some boys in her class want to date her and she turned them down because of the uncomfortable feeling they were giving. Some girls started to hate her and she hated the idea of being the centre of attention. She doesn't like the feeling that she was being hated for an unknown reason because it was traumatising. Ngunit buti na lang at hindi ito tungkol sa ama niya.

"Good morning, Precious!" bati nito sa kaniya.

Napabaling naman siya nang tingin sa lalaki at malaki ang ngisi nito sa kaniya.

Bigla naman siyang nainis at binaling na lamang ang tingin sa labas ng building.

"Ke-aga-aga, ang pangit na agad ng buong araw mo," sabi ni Clark sa kaniya.

Napa-tsk siya at binalingan ito nang tingin. Clark tenderly looked at her, both his hands supporting his head, with his eyes glistening with sparkling dust around it.

"Sinong hindi papangit ang buong araw kung ikaw agad ang bumungad?" she asked Clark annoyingly.

Clark dramatically put his hand around his chest and made faces as if he was really hurt.

"Ang sakit mo namang magsalita," he said dramatically.

Napangiwi siya at napabaling sa unahan.

"Thank you for the jacket," she said with her calm voice.

Clark answered happily, "For you. Of course, ayaw kong makita ang crush kong nanginginig."

She rolled her eyes. Muntikan nang bumaba ang jacket, but Clark fixed it himself. She heard a whistle and found out, it was his friends again. Clark showed his middle fingers to his friends and they all laughed. She just rolled her eyes again and mind her own business. Sanay na siyang ganito ang lalaki, showing gestures that make girls fall, but it was not enough for her.

The guy was very nice to her, but knowing that the guy was surrounded by the girls in their school since he was very popular, additionally, he is one of the student councils and he is an academic achiever, she finds it difficult to accept his feelings. She does not like him either.

He was the sunshine after the storm. He stood out even though the colours he wore were shades of dark green, but the ambience he was casting was like a sun. Kaya madami ang nagkakagusto sa kaniya. Minsan may mga lalaki pang nababakla sa kaniya.

Hindi niya kayang makipag-sabayan sa lalaki ang rason na bakit hindi niya rin magustuhan ang lalaki kahit kagusto-gusto naman 'to.

"Okay ka na ba ngayon? Naulanan ka ba naman," Clark worriedly asked and he felt his hand touch the strands of her hair.

Napabuga siya ng malalim na hininga, kasabay no'n ang biglaang pagbagsak ng malakas ng ulan at sumagot, "I am already fine."

"It's good to know, then," Clark said.

The rain was still pouring hard and the wind suddenly slapped her face with miniscule droplets of rainwater because the window was open. Napapikit siya ng mga at yinakap ang sarili kasama ang jacket. She shivered slightly, but when she tried to open her eyes because the wind suddenly slowed down, she saw Clark's figure closing the window.

She wiped the droplets in her face and looked at Clark who was closing the window. Some of the boys helped him too.

"May bagyo ata," komento ni Clark.

Sumagot naman ang isa sa mga kaklase niyang lalaki, "May low pressure daw sa Luzon."

Clark nodded his head. "Kaya siguro umuulan ngayon." And he wandered his sight.

Napabaling din ito nang tingin sa kaniya saka ngumiti. Napailing na lamang siya at napangalumbaba.

"Guys, 'yong mga papeles ni Sir baka mabasa! Nasara niyo na ba ang bintana?" he shouted with concern on his face.

"Nasara na, boy!" sagot ng mga kaibigan nito sa likuran.

"Goods!"

Her classmates tend to follow Clark because he was the class president of the room. He was nominated mostly by the class and she was one of them. Some just choose him because he was handsome and attractive, while others including her choose him to become one because of his capabilities to lead and rule the whole class.

Napabaling naman si Clark sa kaniya at ngumiti.

"Okay ka lang?" he asked.

Tumango lang siya at ipapatong na sana ang ulo ang niya sa ibabaw ng arm chair niya nang maramdamam niya namang nahuhulog ang jacket ni Clark. Aayusin niya na sana dahil sa pag-iba ng pwesto ng pag-upo niya pero umupo si Clark sa tabi niya at inalis ang jacket.

Wala naman siyang paki pero bigla din siyang napabusangot sa harapan ng lalaki. The man chuckled.

Bakit kasi inalis sa kaniya 'yong jacket?

She suddenly felt the sudden kiss of the cold wind, sending signals of cold that might hug her later on, but her eyes widened in shock when Clark hugged her — he was not hugging her, but almost, and wrapped the jacket around her.

May narinig naman siyang nagsisipulan sa likuran. She could feel the embarrassment on her face.

"Pasimple ka, boy!"

"Mga gago!" Clark answered and just laughed.

The jacket was very wide the reason she was covered. Parang suman siya na binalot sa dahon ng saging dahil army green ang kulay ng jacket ngunit masarap sa pakiramdam dahil malaki ito at malapad. Malaki din kasi si Clark at matangkad, sobrang tangkad animo ay parang bata siya kung itabi sa lalaki.

"Thank you," she said.

She doesn't want to say it but she doesn't have the right to complain when she feels warmth and warmth with Clark's actions towards her.

Clark put his two hands under his chin and smiled at her and answered, "I don't want to see you shiver from the cold, especially since you got sick last Saturday."

"I'm fine though," she replied.

She heaved a sigh, releasing all the uneasiness her body was feeling and tried to close her eyes.

Clark suddenly broke the silence between them, mentioning his name, getting her attention by opening her eyes and trying to be attentive.

"Ang sarap ng cake na pinadala mo kahapon kay Chase," Clark said.

Sumagot naman siya, "Mama made it for him."

"Talaga? Ba't si Chase lang? Ako 'yong nag-drive ng pickup truck no'ng gabing 'yon. Ba't siya lang may cake?" She could feel the hysterical feeling in his voice as if it was unfair Chase only had the cake by himself.

Napailing na lamang siya at napabuntong-hininga.

"Aba'y ewan ko kay Mama."

"So, pwedeng makahingi ng cake kay Tita kagaya ng cake ni Chase?"

Napaayos naman siya ng upo at inayos kaagad ang jacket saka napatingin kay Clark.

Nakatingin sa unahan si Clark pero nang maramdaman nito ang tingin sa kaniya, napabaling din ito kaagad ng tingin sa kaniya. Their eyes met, and she was distracted by the colour. It was brown and it will be orange once the rays of the sun hits it.

She would be in denial if she would never agree how she likes to look at his eyes. It was very beautiful, especially if he smiles at her. She likes how the sun reflects on his orbs. It's tantalising and golden.

Ngunit hindi siya tumingin ng matagal sa mata ni Clark dahil madami ang naglalagay ng malisya sa kanilang dalawa lalo na't nanliligaw ang lalaki sa kaniya kahit ayaw niya naman dito at wala siyang plano sagutin.

"If you want to have a cake, bumili ka. Three hundred lang naman ang bento cake ni Mama," sabi niya kay Clark at ngumiti ito ng pilit.

Clark suddenly pinched her cheeks.

"Aray!"

He giggled and said, "Ang cute mo!"

Napa-tsk na lamang siya at sinubukan na lamang matulog sa upuan niya.

THE CLASS ended that afternoon. She felt drained and was yawning at their last period. They were only checking their assignments at nakakuha siya ng perfect score, same with Clark. Malamang, si Clark naman ang nagturo sa kaniya kung paano mag-balance, more on, tinuro kung saan ang mali niya.

Paglabas niya ng room nila, bigla namang bumuhos ng malakas ang ulan. Bumagsak ang mga balikat niya dahil uwing-uwi na siya at gusto na magpahinga, ngunit may trabaho pa siya kaya wala rin siyang choice. Ngunit sa kasamaang palad, sa dilim ng mundo at kung gaano ito kalungkot ngayon dahil umuulan, mukhang hindi siya makakauwi.

"Precious!" narinig naman niyang sigaw ng pangalan niya at hinanap kaagad ang tumawag sa kaniya.

Nakita niya naman si Cynthia na tumatakbo sa hallway at bigla siyang yinakap nang makalapit na ito sa kaniya.

"Wala pa 'yong sundo niyo?" tanong niya rito.

Umiling naman ang kaibigan at nagsalita. "Wala akong sundo ngayon."

Napataas naman siya ng kilay.

"Huh? Bakit?"

Napakibit naman ito ng balikat sa kaniya.

"Well, you know my family when it comes to me. They're all pathetic. Nakalimutan nilang may anak pa sila," sagot nito sa kaniya saka ngumiti. But the smiles seem to be fake.

She sighed and just patted her shoulders.

"Let's just walk home together," sabi niya kahit hanggang diyan lang sila sa labas ng gate at maghihintay nang masasakyang tricycle o di kaya ay bus pauwi sa kanila.

"Not in my watch, Precious!"

Napatalon naman siya ng bahagya sa gulat nang magsalita si Clark sa likod niya. Napasimangot naman siya at natawa naman ang kaibigan niya. Napabaling siya nang tingin sa lalaki. Naramdaman naman niya ang dalawang kamay nito sa balikat saka pumwesto ito sa gilid.

She annoyingly heaved a sigh and looked at the ceiling.

"Sinong