Chapter 85: Cherry on top

Sometimes, superheroes can't save everyone.

These days, caped figures are often more creepy than inspirational. I would love to be rescued. But maybe a more realistic superpower is, just, surviving.

No glitzy rescue or grand display. There's an incredible strength to being able to keep a head above water. Being able to accomplish the extraordinary, with nothing but the ordinary...

That's heroic to me.

Jake covered his eyes with his left hand as he looked away from us. Charlotte was crying, holding onto her mom. And Luke stood in front of me, his back facing the doorway. He hadn't let his father leave until we got our answers.

I stared up at Luke, wondering what I could say. What was there left to say? He came over and kissed away the tears on my hand. His lips tasted my salty tears.

With Luke, actions always speak louder than words.

Mrs Dawson petted her daughter's hair before standing up. She pressed the creases on her dress and opened her mouth to address us. Then, she decided against it and abruptly walked out.

Jake chuckled beside me.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked him quietly.

Jake lowered his hand from his eyes and looked back at me with a pained smile, "She was about to cover up this mess with some sh*t excuse, before she gave up."

Charlotte complained, "Jake, do you really want to go there right now?"

"Go where?" Jake asked, "Look around you. We're already here. Dad's owning up to his mistakes, but what about Mrs Dawson? Not a squeak comes out of her. She tore apart a family."

"You don't know when to stop," Luke said darkly.

"Luke-"

"Get it through your watermelon head," Luke laid it out simply, "You can sh*t on my dad because he's your dad too. But you'll respect my mom."

"She's the one trying to make this family a family," Charlotte agreed, "She wants you here. It was her idea to bring you, look after you and-"

"You know what neither of you realize?" Jake answered, not backing down, "We have the same values there. I also respect my mom... by holding yours accountable for the disrespect she caused. A nice house doesn't make this place a home. I'm f*cking seventeen so I didn't come here by choice."

Charlotte had a pained expression on her face, "Why can't this drama ever end?"

Jake stood up and walked to Luke. "One more thing," he said, "Call me watermelon head one more time and I'll show you what stitches feel like."

Luke smirked.

I hated that smirk, like he tempted Jake to even try. Like he was so confident he could take his brother down.

Luke raised his hands in fake innocence and said, "Waterm-"

"Luke!" I yelled and threw a pillow across the room to stop him.

He caught it with his left hand while Jake stormed out of the room.

"I'm out," Charlotte raised her hands in the air, picking up her phone and house keys. She gave me a sad smile and, as she passed her brother, she rested her hand on his shoulder. "We have each other, little bro. Even though you're unbelievably stubborn sometimes."

**

With only the two of us in a room, it felt so strange to have Luke on the other side of it. I wanted him close.

He was staring out the window with his arms crossed over his chest. Outside, my house was visible across the street. We could see Charlotte walk down the front lawn, step into her car and start the engine.

After everything that happened here, I really wished he would just come to me on the couch.

It didn't feel right to throw another pillow at him.

I tried a more mature approach. "Luke-"

"I think your dad may be coming back."

His words hit me in a way I never expected them to.

Luke's shadow on the wall moved as he turned around to walk towards me. I was impatient and I stood up to meet him halfway. I just needed a moment of calm before we dove back into this emotional pit again.

"Hold that thought please," I said, draping my arms over his shoulder muscles and locking them around his neck.

I reached up to kiss him, parting my lips to taste his. His hand rose to the side of my face. He held me with his thumb on my cheek, parallel to my lips, and his fingers locked in my hair. His other hand touched the empty belt strap on my pants before reaching further and cupping me.

I asked, "What were you saying?"

I needed a break. I loved talking to him while we kissed, because as my lips moved over his, I felt how soft they were between mine.

Luke gazed down at me and said, "I'm not finished."

He kissed me harder. He pulled me up, so my legs wrapped around his waist and he walked us towards the couch, kissing my lips and my jaw. His other hand was somewhere up my shirt and all I felt was a tingling sensation wherever he touched.

He brought us both down onto the couch and held both sides of my waist to stop me from falling sideways. He adjusted my position on his lap, one leg on either side of him. His hands lowered to my thighs as he leaned forward to meet my lips with his.

He was about to pull his shirt off, when he paused. "Sorry, I need a second to get the image of our dads out of my head."

And that killed the mood right there.

I sat back and breathed heavily. He was the best distraction from the drama around us. I rolled off him and sat beside him on the couch. He was already leaning back and we both processed how much our dads had scr*wed us up.

Luke had his hand against his head and he lowered it, resting it across the sofa's back, behind me.

"So, what do you think your dad said to mine?" I asked him, almost afraid to hear the answer.

For some reason, it felt scarier to hear coming out of Luke's mouth. I don't know why. Maybe because I trust Luke so much, I love him so much, that it's like hanging on to every word...

Luke's head was resting against the back of the couch and he slowly turned to watch me. 

"My dad's a narcissist," he said point blank, "He called your dad to make himself feel better about his life. Either that, or he didn't want to feel so alone in his sins."

I turned my head to face him as well. We were so close to each other, staring into each other.

"Go on," I urged him to continue.

"My dad thinks he's atoning for his past by bringing Jake into our home. He's starting a new chapter and, by telling your dad, it may have inspired him to do the same."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes again. I hated that I was crying again. I was so sick of crying; it felt like a never ending, heavy stream of tears. Dehydrating.

Maybe my dad's coming home.

Maybe he's living his best life somewhere. The world is full of possibilities when you don't have much baggage to carry around. 

"I think I know how Jake feels," I whispered quietly, resting my hand over Luke's wandering one and squeezing it tight, "When the guilt eats at them and they come back to 'do the right thing', we are the objects that make them feel better about themselves. What if we don't want their help? What if we don't want to atone them?"

Luke didn't say anything, but he leaned his head forward to watch my face. He gently removed a strand of hair that was covering my eye.

I continued, "Like Jake said, we're underage so we don't have a say."

"Jake says plenty," Luke muttered.

I couldn't help but smile. I pinched Luke's stomach and felt the hard abs he had underneath that shirt. That playful instinct lifted the heavy weight of anger and bitterness.

Luke laughed, and didn't shy away from my touch. He softly pinched me back, leaving his hands on my skin. I rocked my head onto his shoulder and pressed my finger softly on his chest, drawing circular motions.

Luke smiled, "So, your dad 'cursed like a horse' when he found out about us."

I laughed, "What does a cursing horse even sounds like?"

"Maybe it's a good thing," Luke joked, pulling me closer against him, "What's your dad's like? I get the feeling he wasn't a nerd."

"Hmm," I murmured, feeling so content drawing shapes over his chest, "He sort of was."

"Do you think your dad wants to beat me up?"

I almost choked from the unexpected laughter. "I don't know. I don't know my dad at all, but I'm still shocked the guy who knows him best around here is yours."

"I didn't see that coming either," Luke muttered, lowering his lips onto my head to give me a kiss.

"You know what's funny?" I reflected back, feeling lighter now in Luke's arms, "I actually felt bad for your dad at one point today. That part where he apologized to Jake and looked like he was about to cry. He made sense there for a little bit."

Luke's arms tensed around me, but he didn't say anything. After a moment, he pulled back, "I'll get us water."

"Oh, ok," I nodded, watching him get up. He didn't look back, so I said, "I'll go to the bathroom to clean up a bit."

**

~Luke's POV~

I watched the glass fill up with water and let the water filter tap keep running. It spilled over into yet another mess.

I knew this was Millie's story. I knew it was Jake's story too. They suffered more than the rest of us. But I still felt guilty.

I betrayed my dad.

We used to be so close, before this year started. The strongest bond. He backed me to the end of the world. He took me to every practice, picked me up every time I faltered and now...

Now that I was actually living the dream we built together, I turn my back on him?

The one man who would never turn his back on me.

I know he's not been a nice guy, but he's my dad. He's made mistakes.

I heard the pain in his voice before he walked out of that room. He apologized to Jake. He said I changed - and I have. We used to be close, but now we fight all the time.

Maybe that's why he never liked Millie; because he knew the skeletons would come out of his closet. Because he knew the pain in her family was a similar one to ours. We're all broken here.

I did judge him. I called him washed up because he can't keep up anymore. And I know it's selfish, but deep down I've buried a thought I never dared to say. I'm ashamed of it, but I can't deny it's there:

Gratitude. I'm grateful he chose to live with me, my sister and my mother. He had a choice and he chose us.

I could've been Jake.

"F*ck," I cursed and slammed my fist against the marble surface.

He really f*cked us all up.

**

~Millie's POV~

I walked up the steps in the Dawson house, feeling like an unwanted visitor. Maybe I should use the bathroom and leave. I've caused enough trouble here as it is.

I passed by Jake's room and saw the door slightly ajar. I stopped beside it. I don't know why I felt the urge to go in, but Jake was the only person here who could really understand me in this moment. And I understood him.

I knocked and leaned on the door, pushing it open wider.

"Sorry!" I exclaimed, apologizing for what I just walked in on.

I apologized for staring while still staring. I didn't know whether to look away or run away. But instead, I just stared. I wasn't able to stop staring. Stop, Millie. I physically couldn't move my head. Maybe I just close my eyes then?

"Millie," Jake said, sitting on the floor and watching my internal dilemma play out, "it's OK."

"Is it though?" I asked, taking a step backward.

I've never been inside his bedroom before, but I didn't expect to see this. I was staring at the shattered wooden pieces and strings of his broken guitar all over the floor.

And there was Jake, shirtless. His tattoos inked down his arm, and his-

"Did someone break into your house too?" I asked, trying to concentrate on the broken guitar pieces.

"No," Jake said, reaching over to grab a shirt, "The only intruder in this house is me."

He said it so casually. A sad reminder of how he felt every day since he first arrived here.

I watched his body stretch over as he grabbed the shirt and pulled it over his chest. I guess Luke isn't the only one who works out in this house.

I sat down on the floor opposite him, with all the broken pieces between us. This felt like such a metaphor for our reality, right now.

"Why did you do this?" I asked him, "You love your guitar."

He stretched his hand out and started to pick up the broken pieces. "I regret it now. I was angry."

"It's OK. You don't have to tell me," I said, sitting upright to start helping him clean the broken pieces. I was fine to sit in silence. Sometimes, it's comforting to just be present.

"I snapped this morning," Jake stopped cleaning and sighed, "You know, no one interfered or criticized my music when I was playing in my bedroom. But the moment I had this record deal, people felt entitled to judge. You want to be famous... you think you're cool... you can't play for sh*t... you're never going to make it. Music was my one escape, and that was taken away from me."

"You're going to make it," I said with so much conviction. Jake was so talented, if only he could see it.

He shook his head, "You have the minority opinion there."

"You have a music deal, don't you? That's so hard to come by. Minority opinions can make a difference."

"The label doesn't like anything I write," he sighed, "They gave me a deadline to come up with something 'better' or they'll give me their own songs. The contract I signed gives them control over my image. They can turn my style into pop, which is what Luke always said I was going to do. I hate it when that b*stard's right."

I vaguely remember Luke mentioning something about Justin Bieber.

"What's wrong with pop?"

"Nothing, but it's not me and it's not my music."

I guess music couldn't be his escape from reality anymore if it came with real life pressures now. 

"When's that deadline?" I asked.

Maybe now is not the right time to remind him about the lyrics I sent him, but didn't he use any of them?

"Deadline's passed."

I didn't know what to say. I thought the record label was a dream come true; a potential 'happy ever after' for Jake. I didn't realize he was struggling with it.

"So what?" I shrugged, and scooped some of the broken guitar pieces into his trash, "What's the big deal anyway? If this label doesn't want you, you go back to singing in your bedroom. You don't need this moment to define your entire life. It's a great opportunity, sure, but that's all it is."

Jake sat back, "That's still a lot, Millie. That... and my mom.... and this f*cked up house."

"Hey," I reached out to touch his shoulder, "You need to graduate high school. There's a whole world out there that we don't see right now, but we can make it out. Everything else is just... a cherry on top."

A/N: And that's the chapter! Please vote. What do you think of Luke's reaction?  And Jake and Millie bonding over this.  

AAAAND, speaking of the lyrics Millie sent Jake, what are you favorites?  The poor guy needs to get inspired! 

<3 See ya Thursday!