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It was dead long ago, But it's all coming back to me.
It's so hard to resist, And it's all coming back to me.
I can barely recall; But it's all coming back to me now

But it's all coming back!

-

You woke up to a feather-light touch on your face, and you slowly opened your eyes to see Lucy, who was pulling her hand back with wide eyes and flushed cheeks when she saw you were waking up. "my apologies! I was-Walter asked me to check on you" she whispered, wringing her hands together nervously. You just blinked, then yawned, getting a nice stretch out on Walter's study couch as Lucy took a seat on the love seat next to it.

"That's nice of him" you muttered, rubbing the back of your head, feeling the scar you had gotten from falling all those years ago, was gone. you rolled your shoulders, no pain there either, and when you felt for the scratches, there weren't any bandages.

You smiled, shaking your head with a huff as you set your feet on the floor, glancing up at Lucy as she nervously stared back. "Thank you," you whispered, giving the nervous woman a genuine smile "for checking up on me, you didn't have to" Lucy's nervousness seemed to melt away and she smiled back, tilting her head slightly.

"Of course, it was no problem...hungry? Walter is out doing some business, Evie is still asleep though" you hummed, sitting back and then shaking your head "I could eat" you muttered, getting to your feet and following Lucy out to the patio, suddenly realizing you had a jacket around your shoulders.

'it smells like him' you thought, bringing the collar to your nose. He was so sweet. When you got to the table, you realized there were only two chairs, no one else would be joining you then. "Just the two of us?" you asked, smirking as Lucy flushed as she shrugged.

"Usually I eat breakfast with Viktoria, but she's uh...not feeling well, I suppose" Lucy muttered, glancing towards the manor. Something happened last night after you were attacked. Probably something to do with Walter.

You brushed it off, if you hadn't been told yet, it probably wasn't all too important. You busied yourself with decorating your pancakes and grabbing the bowl of strawberries, offering one to Lucy. She took it, albeit hesitantly, humming to herself as she bit into it. Her eyes closed as if she hadn't actually eaten anything in years "I forgot how good these were" she mumbled, flushing a bit as you laughed gently.

"I know right?" you giggled, setting down the bowl and grabbing one for yourself "Walter said they've come from the same source for centuries, so they've probably perfected their strawberries over the years" Lucy nodded in agreement, reaching out to grab another strawberry.

"So," Lucy cleared her throat into her fist, licking up the juice that ran down her chin "how did you and Harrison meet?" you leaned back in your chair, trying to remember how you had met him when Lucy's eyes widened "Oh shoot! Right! Memory loss, forgive me I completely forgot!" Lucy looked as if she shot herself in the foot, her shoulders slumping as you laughed and waved your hand in dismissal.

"No no no! It's okay! It's just that..." you remembered how you met him; the memory was as clear as the day above you. "we-we met when we were kids...his family had just moved to Whitby and...my family was wandering the town and-we locked eyes and-" you remembered it as if it was yesterday, traveling into town with your family to meet with the blacksmith when you saw him.

The youngest and only son of the Deville family, Harrison; a boy no older than 7, no older than you at the time, with the brightest ocean blue eyes and a smile that could outshine the sun. You remembered locking eyes with him and-and from then on, you couldn't get him out of your mind.

He had told you the same thing, when you were 13 "I saw you're eyes and-it was as if I were enraptured by the gods above, only able to see you"

You shook your head, freeing yourself from the spiral of memories with a laugh "Yeah uh, we just-kinda hit it off right away" Lucy hummed, her eyes sparkling "That's so romantic~" she cooed, giggling as you flushed and turned your face away.

"I guess it is" you mumbled, remembering how Harrison's eyes had been unable to leave you as you walked down that town road, his cheeks a dark red and his older sister teasing him over his shoulder.

"Anyways," you sighed, rubbing the back of your head and turning to lucy, tilting your head at her "enough about me; how did your families get involved with the Deville's?"

She was clearly not expecting that question, and she fumbled for a moment, trying to figure out a way to explain everything, without revealing everything. "oh uh-we-um-well, the gist of it was just-our families saw each other's influence, made a deal and-I guess we've just upheld that deal through the years?" she laughed, rubbing the back of her head "I apologize, I'm not much of a storyteller"

You shook your head, smiling at Lucy "No biggie, there's probably not much to tell eh?" Lucy just laughed, waving her hand about "No-not really, just boring business stuff~" you laughed gently, eating the last of your breakfast and downing your drink, sighing as you stood. "well, this has been a wonderful conversation and breakfast lucy, thank you for inviting me, I'll see you later?"

Lucy smiled and nodded, finishing off her red-tinted lemonade and standing "like-wise, and I hope so." And with that you walked off, heading back inside to go get changed. You just...something had happened the night before, enough to where now memories came back as easily as breathing.

You reached up, feeling the scar from your fall completely gone; somehow overnight, you had healed your back and head scar. And somehow, you knew exactly what happened. You grabbed your necklace, rubbing your thumb across Harrison's initials.

You just needed a bit more...evidence, to what your mind was providing you.

-

"Making friends with the home wrecker I see" Lucy swallowed harshly as Viktoria's voice murmured in her ear "If the master sees her as one to protect, then I shall be kind in turn" Lucy whispered back, hoping she was doing well enough in hiding her shaking hands. You were nice, very nice-just like Evie-and Lucy hoped she could have someone she didn't have to be false with.

Viktoria just scoffed, her hand clutching painfully onto Lucy's shoulder "Foolish, she has clearly bewitched the master, we must put his mind back on track-and while I detest...her" Viktoria sneered at the thought of Evie, and Lucy had to clench her fist to restrain herself from smacking the look off the eldest wife's face "She is the key to regaining our strength. And that girl is blocking the master from seeing that...I'll handle the girl, you make sure the master gets back on track" Viktoria muttered, walking off with her heels clicking against the stone flooring.

"But-" Lucy squeaked, covering her mouth as Viktoria glared back at you "we both heard the master last night" Lucy whispered, she had heard every last bit of what had transpired the night before, the fight, the master's words to Viktoria, his comforting words to you.

You were his beloved, the keeper of his heart, Lucy didn't know if she could stomach hurting the master in that way. He wasn't a good man, but he had been a good husband, and if you meant his happiness, she would gladly step back into the shadows to let you give him that.

"Forget what he said, this is for his own good, and ours" Viktoria hissed, leaving Lucy alone on the patio, wondering if she should take action or not. "How am I even supposed to convince him to take Evie?" Lucy muttered, sighing as she rubbed her face.

Viktoria just had to make everything so complicated, didn't she?

-

You curled his jacket tighter around you, taking a deep breath as you traveled down the abandoned path towards the abandoned castle. Something kept telling you to go back there, to find what he left you. What did he leave you? You had no idea, but gods you had a feeling something was there for you to find.

You took another deep breath as you arrived at the castle, once again resting your hands on the stone railing of the pathway that led into the castle courtyard. Your heart once again led you into the main hall, through the ballroom, up the stairs on the right, through the library, past the kitchens, until you reached the smaller part of the castle; where the study and the bedrooms were.

You stopped, breath picking up as images of Harrison's dead body flicked into your vision; slumped against the stone wall, blood staining his chest. You looked down at your hands, holding back a choked cry at the blood staining them. You closed your eyes, shaking your head "no-no no no-that was just a bad dream-no" you whispered, clutching your head as you willed the images to go away "I didn't-he didn't die-no-"

The room suddenly felt very cold, colder than it had a moment ago, and you looked up, seeing-something-beckoning you towards the study. You ignored the corner where the image of Harrison's dead body was flickering into your vision, and walked into the study, standing in the middle of the empty room.

All that was left, were some old books, his desk, a creaky chair, and some papers spread about the room. it almost looked as if it had been rushed to be packed and was abandoned soon after. You threw your hands up, and that tugging feeling along with -whatever it was- was gone. "Well what now?"

You asked the air, getting nothing in reply, that coldness that had suddenly appeared was gone too. You groaned, pinching your nose "Great, just great" you turned, kicking the desk, jumping as the top drawer; the one where the book had been in your dream, slid open slightly.

"That'll work" you muttered, walking around the desk and pulling the drawer completely out, huffing as the heavy wood dropped into your arms as it slid out of its socket "Holy fuck you're heavy" you groaned, lifting the drawer onto the top of the desk and letting it drop "Jeez, what is making you so heavy?" you asked the inanimate object, furrowing your brows at -what seemed to be hundreds- of letters, all tied together and crammed within the drawer.

And on top, was a new white paper, folded neatly with a wax seal, and a silver pocket watch.

It had your name written on top in his handwriting. You grabbed it, turning it over to see more of his writing "Read this last" you whispered, setting it aside and grabbing the pocket watch, turning it over and over again in your hands, wondering what it could be-other than just a simple pocket watch.

The front was a compass, and you could feel something engraved into the back, you turned the watch over, rubbing your thumb into the engraving 'to guide your way back to me'-H.D

Your fingers caught the dial on the left side and you nearly dropped the watch as it made a short tune. "A music box?" you whispered, turning the dial again, this time until it stopped, gasping as the tune began to play. "It's...it's"

Your song, not Lavender blue, that was your mother's song; But the one Harrison had made up the first time he left town to hopefully get some money for his family. They were 'simple' farmers; the four of them doing their best to scrape by. You were both only 14, and yet Harrison was leaving on his own; you remembered sneaking out the night before he left to wish him good luck, and telling him not to die.

He had just laughed, taking your face and kissing your nose "I promise (y/n), I'll be back. Should be back by December" you just pouted, resting your chin on his chest as you both lay in his bed, the blanket tossed haphazardly over your legs as his bag lay packed in the corner.

"On the wind, 'cross the sea; hear this song and remember. Soon you'll be, home with me, once upon a December" Harrison's smooth and boyish voice echoed in your ears, your nose burning as you buried your face in his neck "You better come back, or I'm going to go come find you myself" you whispered, squishing your cheek into his chest as he hummed, continuing the melody he had somehow made up, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around you.

"I will, I promise."

You caught yourself on the desk as you sobbed, tears trailing down your cheeks. "Harry" you whispered, pressing the cold metal to your forehead. Everything was coming back so clearly now, whatever had happened the night before, had somehow freed the block in your mind.

You were remembering-everything.

You set down the watch and grabbed the oldest-looking letter, carefully unfolding it and sitting on the dusty stone floor, leaning back against the bookshelf and starting to read one of-maybe a thousand-letters.

"To my dearest love;
Not a day goes by that I don't miss you...it's only been three days since your disappearance. I have searched the wood for what feels like a hundred times, but most likely only ten now. I plan to continue looking, maybe you were taken by those cruel townsfolk and hidden from me.
How dare they ruin our life, your life. you had done nothing to them, you had shown nothing but kindness; like you always have. and because of simple rumors...which, yes, I admit were true... they defile you and call you witch.
All you had done for them, for naught as they hunted you down.
They will all burn for what they have done my love, I promise you that. I cannot share your kindness to them, nor mercy. I am not as good a man as you, I never will be.
We will meet again, this I promise; be it tomorrow...or once upon a December.
Harrison Deville, your beloved husband.'

You took a shuddering breath, running your fingers across the delicate words carefully. "Husband" you whispered, closing your eyes and remembering the day he had proposed, with an intricate iron ring, made by his older sister who defied the gender roles of way back when and became a blacksmith.

She had the arms for it if you remembered correctly.

You set the first letter aside, taking the stack from within the draw and setting them by your hip, taking the next letter from the top.

"To my dearest love;
Four days, four days since your disappearance. Yes-it has only been one day more since the last and one day since I wrote the first letter; but....I hope one day, you'll return and see these, and see that my devotion to you never died out. I searched the woods again, going ever further in this time, and left no stone unturned.
I found nothing but your blood, and the stone that you cracked your head open on. I hoped it would help me to find you, as you know; I have a powerful sense of smell.

Ha...the devil, you have lied with the devil all this time, with me; you took my name, you cradled my heart, and comforted me in the darkest nights. The devil, they say...then if that is what they call me, what they call you to love, then that is what I will be to them.
For what is not my name, then; Deville.
Till we meet again, your beloved, Harrison Deville."

"To my dearest love,
It has been a week since your disappearance, and I can only feel the hopelessness I felt on that night growing evermore; the grief crushing me until I can do no more than whisper your name upon our home, tears chaining me to our bed.
I miss you, so much my love...my (y/n), I wake up each day, expecting to see you curled up in my side as you always are, but you're not. I don't know where you are, I don't know how to find you.

I'm" There was a pause in the writing, some of the words smudged with...tears "scared (y/n), I'm so scared. For the last 27 years of our lives, 20 of it we have been together, you have always been by my side, to be my rock, and I yours.
I don't know how to do this without you, I found your will; you left everything to me...why? All this wealth, this castle, everything...it's nothing without you."

More words were smudged, tears wrinkling the bottom half of the letter. Yours were mixing with it, your hand covering your mouth as you sobbed over his writing. "We talked about having kids...remember? We were going to have at least two....one named after your mother, and one after my father. If I end up finding your body, I'll make a grave for them too....no-I won't find your body, I'll find you. Alive.
I will. We'll be together again, just as we promised, forever; till the world is shattered into a million pieces. We will live through the centuries, we will see the future, I will love you till the sun dies out and we are nothing but the stars above.

I love you so much (y/n), and I will even after I take my last breath.

Till we meet again, your beloved; Harrison Deville."

You couldn't stop the tears now, it was only the third letter at you were a sobbing mess, some of the delicate paper crumbling beneath your grip. These letters were probably over 900 years old...you had disappeared on May 11th, 1122, 12 days before your 2nd wedding anniversary.

Harrison had been alone for nearly 900 years, writing to you every single day until...until-

You quickly read through the letters now, finding some about him just writing down your shared memories, some about his day, some about the townsfolk, some about his search for you-until you reached the 1500's.

And it was the last one before the most recent letter.

You quickly opened it, taking a deep shuddering breath as you read it.

"To my dearest (y/n), my wife, my beloved;

I...I can't do this anymore, I have searched for you, for nearly four hundred years. I have found nothing; this castle has become a home to our memories. I can't even sleep in our bed anymore-I miss you so much; the only reason I'm still here is...is because it's the last I have of you.
I've been offered a deal...by the three powerful families of the town, the Klopstock's, the Alexander's, and the Billington's. You wouldn't remember them...maybe except the Alexander's, Fredricks and Mina; their daughter, you were a close friend of hers...I've forgotten her name... Evelyn, I think it was."

You covered your eyes, remembering her, she was a kind girl; always wearing a smile and always helping you around the town to anyone facing poverty or helplessness. To think, 900+ years later, you would meet someone of the same family, with the same name. maybe fate had deemed itself kind enough to give you that.

"But-they've offered me power, in exchange for their protection, and prosperity. I think they think of me as a deity. I have lived these past 500 years after all...without you.
Gods, I hoped to spend it all with you, but alas, you were taken from me.
I never found your body...I don't even know where they buried you, if they did. Hell, they might've burned you instead, to make sure you would never come back.
Wouldn't...wouldn't it be funny if they buried you under the wych elm? Just as the book had been?
Why had I never thought to look there?...too obvious I