I sat inside Adam's car surprisingly feeling much calmer than I originally was when I broke down.

Jared had been calling me the past twenty minutes. I of course ignored all of them and Adam carefully led me back to his place and put me in his car. I had no idea what was going on and I was thankful for that. For once I just want to escape from everything.

I stared into the mirror at my bright blue eyes that were no longer appearing lifeless. I took a deep breath, never breaking eye contact with myself and let it out slowly.

"Dad..." my voice rung out in the silence of his car. It felt weird to say it, but I needed to.

"I miss you," I whispered. "We're falling apart without you."

Suddenly chills came over my skin and a peace came over me like I had never known before. I broke eye contact with myself and glanced down at my arms, the hair raised up, goosebumps traveling everywhere on my body.

I smiled.

"Dad, is that you?" I whispered.

Another wave of goosebumps came over me and I let out a quick breath. There was something coming over me, something I hadn't felt in a long time.

Hope.

I knew in that moment, trying to take care of my family was a wasted effort. It wasn't my job to hold the weight of the world for everyone else. It wasn't my fault we all fell apart. All we can do is love each other and try to own our part in the large puzzle of life. I was trying to do everyone's part and it resulted in more missing pieces.

He was still here with us, we just may not see him.

I felt a tear run down my cheek at the realization because his presence in the car with me was undeniable. For the first time in years, I felt raw, but open. I felt my heart shift. A stone in my impenetrable wall broke off. It may just be one and I may have a long way to go, but it was a step. I think that's all my dad wanted. That's all he ever asked of us, just one step forward. Just worry about the next step, not the next mile.

I jumped at the sudden opening of the car door and I quickly wiped the tear off of my cheek, attempting to hide yet another emotional breakdown.

Adam hopped into the seat and looked at me with concern.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded and sent him a soft smile. His eyes searched mine for a moment longer before he let out a breath and shut his door.

"So, have you ever been to New York?"