We were sat in Jude's car, waiting for it to warm up and for us to decide what we wanted to do before pulling off.

"I'm just gonna message them lot quick, you can be the dj for once," I laughed, watching as he grinned and pulled out his own phone to queue up some songs.

———
jay

i've left with Jude

kind of had an episode and didn't
want all you lot to see me otherwise
would've said goodbye lol !!

i'll be home later tonight

and dw save the lecture nothing
weirds gonna happen with him

Are you okay?

You could've messaged

I'd have taken us back

i'm fine now dw abt it

thank you though

like genuinely

for everything

me and jude have catching up to do
anyway so it worked out alright

Okay we'll talk when we're back
at the flat

Stay safe

Don't feel like you owe him anything
for him being there

You don't have to agree to start again
if you don't want to

i know

we've spoken about that already

we're not going to try again unless one
of us has an actual solution

Okay that's good

Sorry I wasn't there

it's not your fault

u were there first i was just being
awkward about it

has Marcus found his phone yet is it
worth me texting

Lol no

100% been stolen

nah that's so peak

He's balling mate

He can buy another one easy

yeah but still

I'll tell him what happened

Not details or anything dw but
he'll understand

okay thank you

Nw

Text if you need anything

i will ty

love

In a bittt

———
kayo

i've left with jude lol xxx

long story but if i could've said bye i
would

you're still staying in one of the spare
rooms right?

so i'll see u tmrw?

Loooooool

How have u given in this easy

One night together

Less than two hours

Nah you're real for that tbh

you fancy him too?!?!

Stfu I meant the situation

was gonna say

would have to inform Phil

Kys

And yeah I'll be there tmrw

But if I wasn't

You'd have ditched me for retard
Bellingham.

hey leave my man alone

but you are so we don't have to

worry abt that!!!

Your man

I'm weak

stfu this convos done now

Snm

You're good tho yeah?

yeah

ibr i did have a little moment back
in there

that's why we left

and why i didn't say bye

but it's good

i'm good

Ffs why didn't you say anything

i didn't get a chance to

there was too many ppl about

I had my phone on me all you
had to do was call

please can we not argue

i wasn't thinking properly

it's done now

Okay

Fill me in on wtvr happens tn tmrw

Wait if it's

Yeah no maybe don't actually

loooooool

no

it's not like that

genuinely

i just want his company

omds i sound so wet

wtf is happening to me

You're in loveeee

But yes you do indeed sound wet

Pattern up

mb mb

Be safe don't be out too late

Love you

love you too

and yeah always am

same for you

get a taxi home please all of u man
aren't good to drive

You're jarring but yeah got it

stfu

see you tmrw

Calm

———

"Okay sorry I'm done," I put my phone back in my pocket to see him already looking at me with a smile on his face.
"You're fine. What's the time? What will be open?"
I groaned, having to pick my phone up again and heard him laugh at my dramatics.

"It's almost one."
"Fuck," he tapped the steering wheel as he thought, "Only thing my fat arse can think of is McDonalds."
I laughed loudly at that, "That's literally what I was gonna say."

He typed it up into the built in sat nav in his touch screen radio thing- I don't know, all I knew was it was fancy as fuck.
"This one's ten minutes away," he pointed to the first one on the list as I hummed before scrolling and pointing to one forty minutes away.
"Extra time to talk and catch up?"
He smirked before clicking on it and putting the car in gear, "Just say you want me."

"Shut up," I laughed, a part of me wanting to actually say it just for the plot but realising it would probably lead to further things that I'd cry about later when he had to leave xx

He turned his music down so we'd be able to hear each other better as I got comfy, taking my heels off and grabbing a pair of fluffy socks from my little purse.
"There's no way," he laughed, relaxing more into his seat at an angle where he could still reach the pedals but was more facing me.

"I'm always prepared," I shook my head seriously, "Heels are not for the weak. And if I could live with only like ten things for the rest of my life, fluffy socks would be one of them.
He held one hand up off the wheel in surrender, "I'm not judging."

I twisted in my seat, my back against my door and my knees up to my chest, the seatbelt going around them.
"If we crash you're losing your legs," he raised an eyebrow at me as I shrugged.
"Don't crash then."

He let out a breath, acting solemnly, "No promises Dele."
"Nah you're actually a good driver. Come on, fill me in on stuff. When did you do your test? Was it a third time lucky or did you have another in between? And your-"
"Hey, hey, hey. Germany roads are the other way around, it's harder."

"Another con of the place," I shrugged, holding back a smug smile as he rolled his eyes.

"Come over for a week. I'll pay for it all. You're judging and have never been. I actually think you'd like it."
"I don't want you to pay for it all, I've got money now."
"Then come overrr," he dragged out his words impatiently as I laughed at his childlike behaviour.

"When I have the time maybe."
"You're sitting down tomorrow and looking through your calendar. We're making the time. I'll pay for flights and you'll stay at my house so no need for accommodation."
I chewed the inside of my cheek, unsure but scared to start an argument, "I don't know."

"Okay don't worry about it but the offers there when you're ready," he smiled, noticing my change in demeanour, "Just making it clear that you're wanted. I'm not just saying it to say it."

The only thing I wanted to say in response was that I loved him and it was killing me that I couldn't.

With everyone I'm always wondering whether I'm being annoying, too loud or weird. It's why I was awkward with Jadon earlier, I didn't want to spoil his fun. I know he means good but I can't help but feel like that. The same with Kian. I wanted to call him but I don't want to stress him out. It's why I always struggle with everything on my own and it's what led me to start drugs in the first place.

When I'm with Jude it's just different. I sound so stupid but it's true. He always makes me feel like I'm his top priority and I don't get that feeling from anyone else- not my parents, not even Bukayo.

I can be bawling to him on the bathroom floor of a party in one minute and bantering with him the next. He cared but didn't make me feel like a child that needed to be looked after. Even that message from my brother saying for fucks sake; I know he didn't mean it like that but it just makes me overthink.

Jude's the reason for the first five-ish months of me being clean; I could share the load with him. I was still struggling but we were doing it together.

I bit back the urge and nodded instead, "I appreciate it, thank you."
"Stop being weird," he tilted his head as his eyes flickered from the road to me for a few seconds, "I feel like I'm making you uncomfortable, where's your waffling?"

jude's pov
I think I've messed it up by being too enthusiastic. I forget things aren't like they were. I notice the little things about her. Like, I know that the more she's around someone, the louder she is and I feel like now we've had this time apart we're back to square one.

I don't know how I'm meant to fix it though and that's what really gets me; the fact that there isn't actually much I can do.

I hate seeing her upset and I hate that I'm not able to be looking out for her. I hate that Jadon can. I know it's stupid and honestly that I'm just fucking jealous, because realistically I'm glad that someone else has stepped up and she's not on her own. It should be me though.

I wanted just to hold her back there and tell her I loved her, that it didn't matter and she'd be okay but I couldn't. Things weren't like that anymore. I was grateful this was happening right now though, that there wasn't any arguments and she wanted to see me rather than just have me drop her home.

I watched as she laughed, turning the music back up a bit to avoid answering my question and diverting her attention back to her phone. Maybe I was doing too much. I shouldn't of mentioned her visiting, I just got carried away and-

She flipped her phone so I could see what was on it. No fucking way.

"Read it to me," I sat up in excitement, not being able to read it all myself as I was driving.
She was holding back a smile, causing her dimple to be more prominent than usual. She was so beautiful man.

"Right he started the conversation by replying to one of my stories of Marcus and his new garms," she brought one of her legs under her to get more comfortable, "All he did was put the fire emojis so I just liked it 'cause what do I say to that?"

"Why's he doing all that for?" My excitement turned into jealousy as I realised Gio would've been talking to her in a time I wasn't able to.

She rolled her eyes, "Shut up. He replied to another couple stories and it was like one worded back and forth but he made a joke about wanting this pair of trainers and I actually came across them again so this time I messaged just to see if he was actually interested. He said, 'Yes yes yes. How much? I can send it over to you now and cover shipping unless you wanna come over here? I know someone that's been missing you'," she burst out laughing as I tried to suppress my own.
"Why's he baiting me out like that?"

"I was aware already, I didn't need to be told," she joked, patting my arm as I side-eyed her which only made her erupt into another fit of laughter.
"Anyway," she said pointedly for me interrupting, "He said to hold onto them for him because he'd be coming over here at some point and we could do a consultation and I could sort him with like a full outfit. Buttt, if he became a regular..."

"You'd move?"
"I'd be visiting definitely. Depends how many clients over there I end up getting."
"That's it? I'll have that sorted. How many do you need? Twenty? Thirty?"
She shook her head, laughing, "I've only got about ten here. It's a lot of work when it's not just the one off outfit. I usually end up doing their whole wardrobe."

"Okay so how about I speak to some people and they can get in touch if they're interested? Then by word of mouth you'll probably get even more. You could still do stuff over the phone for clients here and just have it posted," I was smiling hard, trying my best to focus on the road as I changed lanes to get off of the motorway.

"If you could."
I looked at her deadpan, "If I could? If you'd have told me this in the beginning, this would've been done four months ago darling. I'm doing it."
She laughed, "Thank you."

"Alright, enough of work and serious stuff. What's been happening with you? Run through the last couple of months, we're still fifteen minutes away."
She was leant on the window, knees up on the seat as she thought.

"Well it's Jadon and I the majority of the time but our little groups become us, Kian and Marcus. Kians on that intern thing remember?"
I nodded to show I was listening and she carried on.

"Well he's been doing really well recently too. He was using for a long time as well but this jobs been so good for him. He's been clean since he got here and he helps me out a lot as well. Like we proper spoke about everything, the triggers for wanting to use it and then the alternatives. I don't know, we just keep each other in check you know?"

I liked Kian, he was sound. I never got the vibe he fancied her or anything, their relationship was similar to her's and Bukayo's but it still hurt to hear. It should be me. I should be looking after her.

"That's good."

She laughed, "Don't be like that."
"No genuinely, I'm proud of both of you."
She looked at me for a moment, almost searching for a sign of insincerity but continued when she didn't find one, "Thank you. Oh and Alejandro came up to visit the other day with my brother, that was jokes."

I laughed, "Aryan didn't tag along or was the journey too much?"
She laughed at that, "Nah I think he wanted to but Jandro wouldn't have been able to deal with him three hours straight in the car. Neither would Kayo I don't think."
"That's fair."

"But yeah, I don't know. I go gym with Jadon most mornings and I schedule most of my meetings in line with his and Marcus' training so I don't have too much time on my own. I like being by myself to an extent but I get scared I'll- you know?"
I nodded, "You're doing good though Dele. You've recognised that yeah?"

She laughed, shrugging, "I fucked that today though."
"Did you take anything?"
"No," her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Then how have you fucked it? You're still clean. If it was easy, addiction wouldn't exist. You've gotta stop being so hard on yourself, it can't be helping things."

She smiled, looking as if she was about to say something but thinking against it, and instead replying with a "Thank you."
A whole lot of thank yous was being said today.

"What about you?" she asked before laughing and giving me a look, "How's that, what's her name? Team photographer wasn't she?"

I rolled my eyes, holding back laughter as she let out her own, "Don't even. I've had enough off Jobe. I get how some of the photos looked and I'm sorry that I wasn't communicating properly to you. As soon as we had that conversation, I recognised it and I told her I wasn't comfortable with it and neither was my beautiful beautiful girlfriend back home. Am I good?"
She turned her head as she hummed, "You're alright."

I could tell she was joking so she was met with another roll of the eyes before I spoke, "Anyway. The team's doing good. I've been pretty mid recently I'll be real but I think other things have been playing into that so I should be fine once I'm back. I haven't been doing anything major to be honest. Got my license finally. That's about it."

"I'm sorry about the way things went," she said, referring to what I said about my recent performance, "I know you've apologised already and other than the stuff we couldn't control, even if it was mostly on your side, I still played a part in it. I know the boys have been weird with you lately as well which I hate them for but that's because of me so I just-"

"Forget it," I waved my hand, laughing slightly, "I promised your brother I wouldn't fuck about when I first spoke to him about liking you but I did just that. I didn't realise what I had. Them being weird is just one of the consequences of that and if I'm being honest, it's one of the ones I'm least worried about."

She was failing miserably at disguising her smile by wiping her mouth which just made me laugh harder as I indicated to turn into the retail park, turning to go through the Mcdonald's drive-thru.

ayodele's pov
He pulled up to the speaker, window down and arm leaning out of it. Why was he so fine?

"Ayodele what do you want?" he looked to me confused as I had blanked his first few questions.
My eyes went wide, "I don't know. A milkshake. Strawberry."

He ended up giving me a look, ordering my drink along with a load of extra food, being the extra guy he was, before we rolled to the next window.

"I've got money now, I owe-"
He took my card off me, a smile growing on my face for him actually accepting it before he threw it in the backseat. Bitch.

The server passed him the card machine nervously, looking in between us and clearly recognising the football player but debating whether or not to say anything.

I think Jude noticed too but didn't want to seem big-headed if we were mistaken and so he didn't say anything either, except from being overly nice and making conversation but this was never out of the ordinary for him.

Around two minutes later they handed us our food and we parked nearer the other shops where there was nobody else near us due to them being closed.

"Do you know what I saw?" he grinned at me, taking his seatbelt off and jumping out the car as I sat in confusion, just wanting my drink.

He came round to my door, opening it for me but I stayed sat.
"It's cold, I don't wanna put my heels back on. What is it?"
He had his hands on the roof of the car, laughing before removing one to reach his phone out of his back pocket. Clicking for a few seconds before passing it to me and sitting on the ground, taking his trainers off.

(didn't have a plan for this chapter ibr and this trend was so funny so let's pretend it existed in their timeframe wtvr xx)

I'd seen the trend before and fully cried about the fact we weren't able to do stupid stuff like this together so hearing him want to do it off his own back almost sent me into another breakdown but I pushed it aside, done with the dramatics for today x

"You're literally an athlete though I'm not gonna have any time," I laughed as he handed me his shoes to put on. He was so, urgh.

"I'll be nice," he laughed, tying one of the shoes for me as I did the other, "It's gonna get cold come on."
"Okay, okay," I laughed harder, "Thank you."

"It's nothing, these socks are Jobes I can get them dirty."
I got up, pushing him slightly, "You're horrible."
"Not to everyone though," he shrugged, trying to be smooth as I thought of a way to burst his bubble.

"Yeah not to any photographers or anything."
He looked at me straight faced, causing me to erupt into laughter and ignore his want for an apology, instead setting up my camera on the windscreen as he got the food out the bag.

no pov
Ayodele started the video and the pair started to play rock, paper, scissors; already unable to stay serious and both giggling like children. The girl won and so her ex-boyfriend had to run to the lamppost and back as she took her time drinking her drink and having a few chicken nuggets, moving to the side of the frame and gossiping to the camera.

"Why does he run like that?" she