I was expecting a slap or some sort of belittling snide remark over what I was doing but came none. And what surprised me the most, was what he said next.

"Weren't you supposed to wake me up? Now I'm late because of you."

Was I dreaming or it was reality, is still the question to date because I don't have an answer to that. I don't remember when he had put everything aside and started over nor when or where he channeled all his anger at.

Pre-silent treatment, I had to wake up my father at 5:45 am on weekdays so he could prepare my siblings for school while he got ready for work. I didn't know that I was supposed to do that after what had happened. I didn't think we still had the usual.

Trying way too hard to hide the fact that I was surprised and at a loss of words, I said the first thing that came to my mind which I knew wouldn't piss off my father.

"I was excited to go back to school and forgot to wake you up. Sorry!"

"Since when are you excited to go to school? Come up with a better one next time." He said pushing me aside and going to the kitchen.

"Oops! Guess I need to up my game. Morning." I said with a smiley babyface.

"Stop acting cute now and go wake up Aryan. I have a lot of things that I need to do."

As I was about to suck my surprise in and go to his room to shake heaven and earth out of his sleep, we heard a soft, tired, sleepy, and high-pitched baby voice.

"No need, am up already! You talk too loud!"

I was trying to be not surprised but everything that morning felt shocking and all I could do was just sit and watch. Oh, stand and laugh at the part where Aryan spoke. My father was also surprised that he had to ask "But how?!"

"I don't know. Just wash me and give me my breakfast!"

We both had to laugh again before we heard another laughter from the corridor leading to the rooms. Roshni was up as well and she was full of life, not the zombie-looking girl that we get to see when we wake her up early.

"Am I super late today? Or is there something happening that I don't understand?" Dad asked looking around and smiling awkwardly.

"That makes the two of us," Mom added while she set the table.

I also kept thinking of what was going on. It had been so sudden and so random that dad came around and though we still didn't know what was disturbing him, we were grateful that he was back to his normal self. And the sudden accountability that everyone showed out of blue, was an alarm.

"Good morning Namaste! I'm going to take a shower so don't talk to me till I get back."

Yes, that was the last straw. I officially branded that day as the weirdest day of my life right at that moment.

Everything was then rushed so we wouldn't be late for school but the rush part didn't apply when I combed my hair like Varun Dhawan. I was lovesick for that guy. He was living the life I wanted to live and he was doing it so perfectly that all I ever wanted to be was him. Not an actor, I wanted to be him as he was. The person he was.

All three of us went to the same school. It was the nearest school. So, we nearly did everything together in the morning and went to school together. The school was just a half kilometer from our home so we always walked. We loved the exercise.

Since it was the first day back after the summer holiday, most people were catching up with their friends about what had happened during the holiday. I also was keen to know what had gone on for the other guys since I had a normal summer holiday which consisted of sitting around helping mom take care of Mahir and learning more computer things than I could ever want, and that's why I went to sit with my group. Not my gang, my group, The Jeep X.

It was a normal how have you been and you got fat type conversation until Disha walked past us. I hadn't seen her for like a month or two and just by that short period, she had noticeable change. She got a bit of a tan that made her skin more of chocolate milk and not to mention the new dope look. She looked ecstatic even in those uniforms which were not special by any means. And I think this is the part where you all get to know that I had a crush on her.

"My breathing session is corrupted, how comes my queen passes in front of me and I can't do anything?!" Rahul sent me off the rails and I was just there staring at nothing in particular. I wasn't alone on the Disha beauty bus. Well, how do you be alone in seeing the most beautiful girl in the whole school beautiful? I hope I'm clear when I say it.

Rahul always talked about wanting her and being in a great love story with her, but that wasn't what Rahul wanted. It was what half the guys in our class wanted. She was deadly and so unapologetically beautiful that anyone who saw her wanted to be with her.

"Why don't you make a move then? you irritate us with your lust!" I said it not because I was encouraging him to do it but because I wanted Disha to reject him so I would know that I still had a fighting chance for the ultimate love I was dreaming of.

"Opening assembly! Opening assembly!"

Rahul was saved by the bell and we all had to gather our belongings and go to the yard where assemblies were held. Most if not all of us were eager to know what was new in the principal's speech, because surely since I started that school eleven years before, it was the same opening speech every year that I had memorized and knew every dot by heart.

Despite all the excitement I had put into it, the speech turned out to be the same as one of the past years. It was a buzzkill for me but I found myself looking tentatively at the principal when he continued to speak after the last dot of the speech.

"And to the brothers and sisters of the school, class 12 students. This is your final year at this school and soon you will be gone to join universities and colleges. To be honest, for the first time in this school's history, I would like to declare in front of the whole school that 'YOUR CLASS IS THE BEST CLASS THAT THE SCHOOL HAS EVER GOT!' And thus I have some good news for you all."

People who knew our class pretty well including the teachers who had the luck of teaching us started to give hearty applause to us and the clapping didn't stop. Seeing that it would take a lifetime to stop the whole crowd, the principal decided to cough to silence the 1000 students and teachers who were cheering. I was also keen to know what he was going to say.

"Okay, it's like this. For the good cooperation and unity that you have shown us since the first day, you set foot in this school. The hard work you showed us. The spirit of fighting that your class has. And the whole environment you created for yourself for being competitive and not leaving anyone behind. We, the school board, really appreciate that and decided to award you the most precious and prestigious gift ever that you won't be able to forget for your whole life.

"We have invited ten students from different leading universities and colleges here in India to speak with you about the choices you have to make in pursuing your careers. And the best part that comes with that is, there will be five international students among the ten who will advise you as to what you should pursue and what you had like to be in the future according to your skills and creativity."

Another loud applause went off like a rocket bomb from the crowd of students. Our class had kids with brains and talents. Just like how easily they could fit in with careers that they could hassle their asses off in universities and colleges for years, they could also fit in just great in careers that only had to cost them short courses and what they had to do to get to them.

We had footballers who I could see playing for European teams which had captivated the football world. We had actors and actresses who I could envision in Hollywood taking part in the Mission Impossible franchise and Netflix Productions. We had singers who would chart the Billboard with their debut singles. And it wasn't I alone who saw that, the whole school saw it as well.

"The question that needs to stick in your heads is who am I and what do I want? I think I have said a lot and there are many to be spoken but the time is not on our side, so, let's end it here and give time for our schedules to start as fast as possible. The rest will be spoken to you later when we meet to talk in-depth about this issue. So for now, let's gather our minds and say 'SCHOOL STARTS NOW' And attention!"

With the words said, the assembly was dismissed, and everybody proceeded to their respective classes per their schedules.

As I walked to my first class, I felt something was off since I got there but I couldn't tell what was it. I thought I had a glimpse of what might be wrong when I saw Disha before the assembly but still, nothing came up. I shrugged it off and proceeded with my day not knowing what was there that I missed. What I failed to notice.

¶

"So, how have you been?" Disha asked me when she saw me getting out of the washroom during the break before the third class.

"Great, nothing biggie. You?"

"Just the same. Clingy family and the rest is previously in Disha's life."

She had that tendency of making jokes referencing TV shows and films that did it for me. I found it super funny and sexy. It sounded like she was on Love Island and she was wooing me to climb the cactus for her love, which I would.

Disha was the only girl in a seven-children family. She always had to deal with the overprotective brothers and over-caring parents she had. I'd been over to their place numerous times so, I knew what she meant when she said that. I even helped her out at times when I was also annoyed by them.

"That's the usual. I'm just glad that you are doing okay around the same time when my father got back to his normal self which we all know. I really could do with less drama right now." I said looking at her tiringly. "And speaking of less drama, where were you the last three weeks? I never saw you at your brother's store."

Disha was the sixth of the seven children. Her first brother who if I'm not mistaken was Zain, lived in Goa with his family. He ran a beach there. The second one, Uday, lived in Uttar with his family and he was the one with the grocery store that Disha liked to hang out at. The twins' Danish and Ravi, followed Uday and they were actors in Delhi. Arjun, the fifth, studied law at Mumbai University, then came Disha, and then Vishal who was in class nine at that time.

"So, I'm something to look forward to. That has made my awful day already." She said smiling with shades of red. She was blushing for God's sake.

"I'm not being modest, I just want to know where you were. I had no friends the whole summer and it was super boring if you ask me."

"I was with Pooja and her family." She replied her smile flushing.

"Ooh! God! Shit!"

I found myself saying that unplanned. Since I got to school that morning, I had a feeling like something was off and I couldn't know what was it. When I saw Disha, I thought I had a glimpse of what it might be but still, didn't have a clue but when she said where she was, I knew what I was missing. And it wasn't a thing, it was a person. A human classmate of mine who happened also to be my friend. I missed Pooja.

"What is it?" Disha asked worriedly after seeing my expression.

"It's nothing just, how could I? Of all the things and people why forget her?"

"Forget her like?"

"Forget her like, I didn't realize she wasn't here until now that you said you were with her family."

I looked at her searching for any kind of sympathy for what I was saying, and all I found was confusion so difficult to explain.

"I was them before they left. She is living in Kashmir now. Her father got relocated to Kashmir office and so they must tag along."

"I guess it sucks being a child of a soldier after all." It was an immediate response from me. I was sad that I had lost one of my friends who I loved a lot.

"You are telling me. I pleaded with her dad to leave her here until everything was normal and safe again in Kashmir but he would never listen. It was like talking to a tree."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help with anything. I wish you'd told me about it."

I really was. She and Disha were my only friends that I could sit down and have a decent and funny chat with. I never imagined what would happen if one of them missed but the world did a 360 on me and showed me the hard way.

"She didn't tell you about it because she felt guilty about leaving. It was like being unfair to you and that's why she didn't want to say goodbye in the first place." Disha said as if she was forced to say it but the words came out with sincerity in them.

"What? Tell me it's a joke!"

"It isn't. She said she will be meeting you again and left a parcel for you. It's at my house, you have to swing by after school to take it."

"I still don't believe you and I think this is all a coming back to school prank you are pulling at me," I said trying to make sense of what she was saying. "And why the hell hasn't the bell rang yet?"

"Well, it's up to you if you want to believe it," Disha said fidgeting with her fingers. "And oh, the school is registering the new timetable so the bell will restart tomorrow with the new timetable installed."

"Right, see you after classes. I need to head to Physics for now."

¶

I was seated in our usual seat in the Physics lesson. The seat where Pooja and I sat since we started high school. Until the last student entered, Pooja didn't show up nor a sign of her being present came.

"Is this seat taken?" The girl who was the last one to enter asked me. I believe her name was Jessica or something. During that time, I only called her Jay just like everyone else did.

"Yes, Pooja is sitting here," I replied casually trying to gauge a reaction out of her and see if she knew anything about it.

"Ooh, thanks then."

The action of her sitting down flashed all the red flags about what Disha said to be true but I didn't want to believe it. I wasn't ready to believe that Pooja was gone. And where the hell was her twin, Priyanka? Even though they studied completely different things, Priyanka would always be in our class saying she was hanging out with the nerds who were cool kids.

"Which part of Pooja sitting here you didn't get?" I pressed more.

"The part of Pooja being in Kashmir right now is what I don't quite get." She said taking out her books and putting them on the table, ready to get on with the class.

"Disha sent you to do this, right?"

"I'm offended. Do I look like the type of person who can do any shit just because someone wants me to?" Jessica was then full on me. "I don't know what the hell is going on in your mind but don't pester me anymore because Pooja is gone for real."

"Listen Jessica -"

"So, you know my name? That's funny considering all the names of chemical elements you have in your mind!"

I don't know if it was a joke or if she was trying to make me feel like a douche, but I had the urge to get back at her that I didn't recognize that the teacher had entered in class already.

"Was that supposed to be a joke? Because – "

"Shush! Can't you see the teacher who just walked in?"

I took it as a cue to keep quiet and proceed with the lesson. I made a mental note to go after her after the lesson to ask her if she knew more about Pooja since she seemed like the one person that could help me figure out what was happening without making me feel like a crazy person.

I kind of zoned out the whole Physics lesson after that. There wasn't anything exciting about it all of a sudden and I guess Jessica was watching me out from time to time but I had a lot of things to worry about to even care about that.

"You seem to have a pretty rough day."

I was brought back to reality when Jessica who was standing in front of me asked me that question. The class was almost empty meaning Physics had passed me through and it was lunchtime. Time for the last break of the day.

"Yeah, some family problems."

Okay, I lied. She didn't have to know that I was having a combination of weird and awful days in my life. It was supposed to be like normal Mondays for others.

"If you need someone to talk to. I mean I have been told I'm a good listener a lot of times more than I could count."

"Well, you might help me with something," I said turning fully to face her. If I was going to need more information, it was then and there.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to know how had you know about Pooja. You know like she was moving."

"They had been over at my sister's husband's restaurant and -"

"You mean your Jhiju." I didn't know where that came from but I had to say it. Like, was there a need to complicate things? Just say your Brother in law and there you have it.

She gave me a cold stare like the I sure know how he is called one and then proceeded. "And I happened to hear about her family moving to Kashmir. Disha and your friends Rahul and Kesari were there as well."

"What?"

"Yes, Pooja came first with her twin Priyanka, found a table, and started to talk about things which I guess were family things. Then Disha came and they welcomed her at their table and just then, not even five minutes had passed before Rahul and Kesari came over. But it seemed like Kesari was being dragged there out of his consent."

That didn't make sense. How come they were there and they never spoke of it. Not even tell me about it? It was unbelievable!

"Are you sure Rahul and Kesari knew this as well?" I had to crosscheck if what I heard was what she said.

"When I was eavesdropping, they were there already and that's the time I got to hear about it." She seemed to know what she was talking about. "And I heard Pooja asking Disha about your problems with your father. Are they the ones disturbing you till now?"

And that's the confirmation I needed to know that she wasn't making things up. It was the only solid point of the whole conversation that made sense and clarified everything. I nodded to that.

"God! That's a long time!" She said looking concerned. "I was going to the cafeteria, are you coming?"

"I've had my fill."

I shuffled out of my desk and grabbed all my things but she stopped me. She kept nagging me if I was going to be okay when all I had in my mind was to be alone. Since she wouldn't even budge, I pushed her out of the way and left the classroom going to the garden to find some space.

I wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it. I wanted to scream all the frustration out. I wanted to keep a clear head but it wasn't easy with all that was going on inside it. My head was not mine anymore. It was full of thoughts that only made me feel like a disgrace and someone nobody wanted. It was painful.

All I wanted at that point was the day to finally be over so I could go back home and sleep the pain away. I never knew what was special about it all that they had to keep me in the dark about something as touching as that. It made me feel like they might have lied to her so she couldn't meet me before she moved away. How many more did I miss out on?

I wanted to know more and everything that was wrapped under the covers. I wanted to know what they felt about me and what made them keep that from me. But wanting to know more was what made me lose more. It was the start of all of my troubles. It was the start of my broken heart. It was the start of me being the freak. It was the