It was uncharacteristically hot for mid October, they seemed to be having something of an Indian Summer, which in the Rogers household meant the barbecue was coming back out. Joe would barbecue pretty much every weekend over summer, Friday and Saturday nights if they were lucky. And when he did, Sarah always came through with one of her town-famous pies for dessert. Their parents were also starting to let the kids have a beer or two if they were staying over, meaning the guest bedroom was almost in constant use. Not even a week had gone by without at least one person using the spare room since the start of summer.
"Invite whoever," Sarah called over to Ella as Steve. "I've made up the guest room and it'll probably be the last one of the year. Just let us know how many were expecting so we can go to the store."
"Sure thing mom." Ella smiled as she messaged everyone. Within seconds, they'd had RSVP'd with a yes, and Wanda had asked if she could bring Pietro along. Ella was happy to have plans with everyone, school was already starting to kick her ass. Since her admission to her family that she'd set her heart on Brown, she had been spending more and more time in the library at lunchtimes. On top of that, last weekend she'd been so busy writing essays that she'd only left her bedroom to go to the bathroom and eat for two whole days. Usually, she'd study with some of her friends, mostly Bucky over the last week, but it wasn't the same as spending time together doing something fun.
Ella looked down at the phone, there was just one more person she knew she should invite, but her thumb was hovering above his contact. Christian. Why am I hesitating?
She finally clicked on it and she called him. He picked up on the second ring.
"Hey, my parents are having everyone round for a barbecue this afternoon. Want to join?"
Ella tried to keep Christian and her friends somewhat separate. To start with she hadn't, and he just tagged along with them, but once people started voicing their opinions she'd invite him less and less. It wasn't that she felt bad about what her friends were saying as such. Sometimes they were a little rude, but a few tellings off from Ella had largely shut them up. The problem was that she knew if they said it enough, she'd have to listen. And once she started listening, it wouldn't be long until she realized they were right. On some level, of course, she already did.
"Yeah, sounds great. Do you need me to bring anything?"
"No it's okay, we've got it covered."
"Okay, bye. Love you."
"See you later," she replied hurriedly, hanging up as quick as she could. This was the third time in as many days that she'd failed to say 'I love you' back, but she just couldn't bring herself to say it.
"So it's us four plus 6 others," Ella told her mom, who nodded in response.
"Want to come to the store with me?" She asked.
"Sure thing." Ella ran off to grab a pair of shoes.
The two of them went out, getting everything for a barbecue plus the ingredients to make a peach pie, which just happened to be Ella's favorite of her mom's recipes.
When they got home Ella joined her mom in the kitchen, she didn't bother helping, she knew she'd just get in the way. Instead, she used the opportunity to catch up with her mom. Sarah and Joe both worked long hours, most evenings all they saw of their children were brief encounters in the hallway, so they never missed the opportunity to spend some quality time together at the weekends.
The doorbell chiming not long later interrupted their conversation. Ella jumped off the counter where she had made herself comfortable and went to open the door. She was greeted by not one, but two faces. Christian and Bucky.
"Did you guys carpool?" She asked in confusion.
"No, just got here at the same time." Christian and Bucky gestured to their parents' cars that were still out on the street. Ella peered over his shoulder and gave their parents a quick wave before ushering the boys inside, sighing in relief. The last thing she needed was for the two of them to become friends.
Ella quickly called upstairs to Steve.
"Get down here now," she said with a stressed hiss.
Luckily her brother came to her rescue and took Bucky into the living room so they could watch the end of whatever game was on. Meanwhile, Ella took Christian's hand and led him into the garden, picking up a couple of drinks on the way.
"I've barely seen you this week," he said with a bit of an edge to his voice.
Ella was hoping he wouldn't bring up the decline in their time spent together. She hadn't done it on purpose, a lot of the times she'd bailed on him she had genuinely been busy. But of the six Friday evening dates they should've had since term started, they'd only had two and she could count on her fingers the number of times they'd sat together at lunch. She felt bad for not inviting him to the library with her, but as they didn't share many classes, he was hardly ever around to ask. She decided not to make up an excuse, lying wasn't going to help the situation. But she also didn't want to tell him the truth either.
"I know, I'm sorry," Ella apologized, still caught up in her thoughts.
Christian looked at her, waiting for an explanation but nothing more came. The two of them sat in near silence, only occasionally saying something when a piece of school gossip or news popped into their head, but neither of them was able to keep a conversation going.
Steve and Bucky joined them outdoors a little while later, sitting on a bench at the other side of the garden as they waited for everyone else to arrive. They'd conveniently placed themselves next to the cooler. Steve passed over a beer as they chatted. Bucky was half listening, distracted by Ella and Christian who were sitting in the sun on the lawn. Ella was leaning back on her hands, her tanned legs stretched out in front of her. Christian was opposite her, laying back and propping himself up on his elbow, picking at blades of grass as he spoke. Their conversation looked dry, neither of them laughing, their expressions unenthused. He thought maybe they were just having a serious conversation, but Ella's eyes were constantly wandering around the garden, she was clearly not engaged with whatever Christian was saying. They weren't just physically distant but emotionally too, it seemed.
Bucky's mental analysis of the pair was interrupted by Steve who had noticed his gaze.
"Let me guess, you're wondering what she sees in him." Steve leaned over to Bucky as he spoke, not wanting to be overheard.
Bucky looked at him warily, he knew it was no secret what everyone thought about Christian but wasn't sure if he knew Steve well enough to voice his concerns.
"Yeah I just don't get it," he finally admitted, "she seems different around him than she does with you and everyone else."
"She smiles less around him."
"Exactly," Bucky agreed.
Steve took a sip of his beer. "Before Laura died Ella would never have dated someone like him, I know we were only young and we weren't exactly getting into serious relationships but still, she was outgoing and fun and she just had this permanent smile on her face. And then I don't know, she changed. We both did, but in different ways I guess. I think we kind of swapped roles, I was always the quieter, more boring one and now... now she's dating a guy who I'm pretty sure could send you to sleep."
Bucky looked at him, surprised at how candid he was being.
"I'm sorry, it must've been so hard for you guys."
"Thanks," Steve gave him a small smile. "You know though, I think she's starting to be more like she was before. Just recently we've noticed it, mom said something the other day, it was the morning after Nat's actually, after you guys had left."
"Oh really? That's good. Maybe she just needed time."
"Time and... I don't know. This is going to sound weird so bear with me. But I think it's you. She started changing when we got back to school, and I didn't really see it til the other day. Nat had brought it up before, even though I think she was kind of joking, she's probably right. She's also convinced you guys like each other, and something tells me she's right about that too. Honestly, the idea of Ella dating freaks me out, even though I should be used to it by now, but yeah, if she ever gets off her ass and breaks up with him, I could live with you dating her. You actually make her smile."
"Steve... I'm not... I don't want... I've never even thought about dating Ella," Bucky spluttered.
"Yeah right," Steve laughed, making Bucky's already pink cheeks turn red.
Ella had turned to face the two boys, her head cocked to the side as she tried to read their conversation. She'd felt Bucky's eyes on her the entire time she'd been sitting down, but now he wouldn't even look in her direction and she could see his blush from across the garden.
"Just going to grab a drink," she muttered to Christian as she stood up, "want anything?"
"No, I'm good." He waved his half-full beer bottle at her.
She strode over towards the cooler, pulling out a soda.
"Is Steve embarrassing you?" She grinned at Bucky.
"No...no...it's nothing..." he tried his best to speak with some composure but failed miserably. He looked up into her eyes. They were sparkling as she laughed. They distracted him from his embarrassment.
"I won't ask," Ella smiled.
Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the Maximoffs. Pietro bounded into the garden, closely followed by Wanda.
"Hey kids," Sarah called over, Wanda walked over to say hello, leaving Ella to properly introduce Bucky and Pietro.
Sam and Nat arrived not long after and the group gathered around the garden table, Bucky made a conscious effort not to sit next to Ella. If it was obvious enough that he liked her for Nat and Steve to notice he didn't want to put himself in a position to make her boyfriend aware. Instead, he found himself sitting opposite her, while Ella was sandwiched between Wanda and Christian.
Bucky couldn't help but watch Ella throughout the meal, Steve's words were heavy on his mind. Ella and Christian seemed to have eased into a conversation, and he started doubting his earlier thoughts. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he'd convinced himself it was. She still wasn't laughing or joking as much as he was used to seeing, but she at least looked happy.
Elsewhere around the table, Pietro had noticed Bucky's stare. He leaned into Wanda and whispered in her ear so Ella wouldn't hear him.
"So what's him and Ella?" He asked, nodding towards Bucky. Wanda looked back at her brother wide-eyed.
"Shhh!" She hissed. "Nothing is going on." She jumped to her friend's defense, albeit very unconvincingly.
Pietro pulled an 'I don't believe you' face as he replied. "Oh come on, everyone at school is saying it."
Wanda reached out and quickly pinched her brother hard enough to elicit an 'owww'.
"Just keep your mouth shut," she warned.
When Pietro had turned back to his previous conversation, Wanda tried to subtly get Ella's attention. Luckily, Christian got up to go to the bathroom a few minutes later, and Wanda seized her opportunity.
"You and Bucky need to be careful," she said under her breath.
Ella looked at her confused, "what are you on about?"
"Look, I'm going to be honest, we all know that something is going on between you two, and we'd never say anything to anyone else, but apparently other people are starting to say things," she whispered.
"Do you think Christian has noticed?" She asked, stressed.
Wanda shrugged, "I have no idea, and it's not like he'd say anything if he had."
Ella ignored the subtle dig, mostly because she agreed. Christian wouldn't have the nerve to bring it up.
For the rest of the meal, Ella was on edge, bouncing her knee under the table. Christian kept asking her what was wrong, but each time she failed to give him an answer. She was grateful when he finally said he needed to go home, at least once he was gone she would be able to relax. Ella walked him to the front door, the guilt she was feeling was making her woozy.
Christian was halfway out the door when he turned around to face her.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked for one final time. His question was vague, vague enough to reassure Ella he hadn't got any specific concerns about Bucky. Ella didn't know how to explain what the problem was and now definitely wasn't the time to try. She hadn't even begun to wrap her head around her feelings towards Bucky, so she kept her answer just as vague as his question.
"I've just got a lot on my mind."
Christian frowned, clearly unsatisfied with her reply, but as expected, he didn't say anything.
Once he'd gone, Ella leaned back against her front door, pulling herself together. She sat back down with everyone else in the garden, and with the weight lifted from her shoulders, joined in on the fun. She couldn't help but notice that Bucky was putting in a little extra effort to make her laugh, and she appreciated it. The afternoon had been nowhere near as enjoyable as she was expecting.
Slowly people started making their way back inside as the temperature dropped, Sam and Steve disappeared first, they went in for more drinks and never reappeared, and Pietro soon joined them. When Wanda and Nat noticed it was just them, Ella and Bucky left outdoors, Wanda gave Nat a look and pulled her inside, wanting to tell her what Pietro had said.
The conversation between Ella and Bucky carried on, undisturbed by everyone's gradual departures. However, one particularly big shiver from Ella finally interrupted them. Bucky pulled his chair back and offered his hand out to Ella to pull her up. But instead of taking it, she gestured for him to sit back down.
"There's something I wanted to talk to you about," she started hesitantly.
"Sure, Ella. Anything," he replied, unsure what she was about to say.
"I think people are starting to notice that something is going on here," she said, waving her hand between them.
His heart thumped in his chest, "I'm sorry, it's my fault. I'm too... I don't know... I'm too forward I guess. I'm sorry, I know you have a boyfriend, I know I probably overstep. I just like you Ella."
"I know," she nodded, "I like you too, but I don't know what to do. And I know that makes me a really shitty friend and an even shittier girlfriend, but I just need to figure everything out before I do anything, you know?"
"That's okay," he shrugged, "we can just be friends. We can do that. It doesn't need to go any further, it can't right now and maybe it's better that way. I don't want to get in the middle of your relationship. We'll just have to spend a little less time together or something, you know, until it's out of our system. It'll happen eventually. Whatever we're feeling will pass."
Ella looked over at him with her brow raised and a slight smile on her lips.
"Do you believe any of that?"
"Nope. Not a single word," he chuckled as he took a sip of his beer. Ella couldn't take her eyes off his lips. He couldn't get hers out of his head.
They were both as screwed as each other.
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