From damsels in destress to powerful warriors two princesses with magic powers step in the ring to see which one is truly far from being the damsel.

Interlude

(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)

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Peach: In fiction a princess always has one simple role: Being a beautiful lady who lives peaceful until evil comes and kidnaps her and has to be rescued by a male protagonist to save her. And being a princess myself it's really not the greatest role I tell you.

Amy: But some princesses out are like "Hell no. I'm tired of being kidnapped and recused it's time I go out and fight to defend myself and my people and show the world I'm more than a damsel in destress." Like Princess Zelda the Princess of the Hyrule Kingdom and love interest of Link.

Roll: And Kairi, one of the Princesses of Hearts and love interest of Sora.

Amy: Their Peach and Roll and I'm Amy Rose.

Peach: And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Princess Zelda

Peach: This is the Kingdom of Hyrule a peaceful kingdom across the land.

Amy: And since there's always gotta be a kingdom around they have a ruler.

Roll: And that ruler is none other than Princess Zelda.

Background
Full Name: Zelda Hyrule
Height: 5'1" (155 cm)
Weight: 93 lbs (42.2 kg)
Age: 17 (biologically 117)
7th Sage/Maiden
Descendent of the Goddess, Hylia
Blessed with Wisdom of Nayru

Peach: For the longest time Zelda has ruled the lands and protects her people.

Amy: "Protects?" Please we all know how this goes, she's a princess and because of that she gets kidnapped by a pervy dickhead named Ganondorf. Hmmm now how does that sound familiar?

Peach: Amy....

Roll: But never fear she is saved by a boy dressed in green: Link. Yeah that does sound familiar.

Peach: Ugh, whatever. Anyways despite being a damsel in destress Zelda has picked up several abilities and skills of her own.

Weaponry and magic
Triforce of Wisdom
Royal Sword
Dagger
Light Bow
Light Arrow
Minor Telekinesis
Prophetic Dreams
One-Way Telepathy
Farore's Wind
Nayru's Love
Din's Fire
Phantom Slash
Torch Phantom
Warp Phantom
Wrecker Phantom
Needles
Cutlass
Healing Spells
Harp
Wind Waker
Dominion Rod
Sheikah Slate

Peach: Zelda has great efficiency with her Light Bow, with which she can use for long-range combat, she can also enhance her bows with her magic, creating the lethal Light Arrows, an essential weapon for harming evil, like Ganon.

Amy: Speaking of her magic, Zelda has a number of spells she can cast, including Nayru's Love, Farore's Wind, and Din's Fire.

Roll: She also has healing spells which can heal her wounds. But some of that doesn't hold a candle to the Sheikah Slate, that thing can set remote bombs, move objects magnetically, and totally stop time for things.

Peach: Zelda is also the bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, a testament to her astute mind. This greatly enhances her magical prowess and gives her the power to dispel evil. She is even skilled enough to create long-lasting disguises. She used the guise of Sheik to evade Ganon's tyranny for over seven years.

Amy: WOW! 7 years man that's one way to stay in hiding.

Roll: Should I mention that the Triforce of Wisdom also sucks you up like a black hole and then sends you flying or is that just Smash?

Feats
Escaped Capture as Sheik for 7 Years
Resisted Calamity Ganon For More Than 100 Years
Able To Wield The Master Sword
Usually Relies on Guardians & Sanctuaries
Trained Link on a few occasions
Defeated Ganon, Cia

Peach: Zelda also has the guise of Tetra as well, which she uses in other games, but these forms are just disguises, and thus the abilities they have are naturally available to Zelda whenever she wishes to use them.

Amy: But considering how good her magic is, I'd be sticking to the magic powers over everything else.

Roll: Yes, she is clever, mystically powerful, and helps battle Ganon when necessary, and actually helps defeat him a number of times, and her knowledge and resources also saw her become Leader of the 7 Sages.

Peach: Speaking of which Zelda should be comparable to Link and Ganon because they weld the other two pieces of the Triforce, so it's fair to compare her to them

Amy: Link can dodge lasers and react to about the 1/10th the speed of light. He can even move faster than that like when he was getting off a full flurry rush before the Lightning is able to fade away a reaction speed that requires to move at Mach 339,718,810 almost 388 times the speed of light.

Quick heads up: This was determined Mario VS Link.

Roll: Link's strength and power were nothing to scoff at, especially when scaled to Majora pulling the moon into a planet and destroying a continent. That would take an energy equivalent to over 66 exatons of TNT.

Peach: And as for Ganon he was able to move the Blood Moon around based on the size and the time the force to move this Moon would require a force of 495 yottatons of TNT.

Amy: And because Zelda has a piece of the Triforce like Wisdom while Link and Ganon have the Courage and Power, she should definitely be comparable.

Weaknesses
Has Been Kidnapped Numerous Times
Some Incarnations Are Not Used To Fighting
Fairly Naive
Needs The Assistance Of Others On Numerous Occasions
In BoTW She Had Trouble Using Her Powers, Only Awakening Them Last Minute

Roll: Yeah but she's not perfect as still completely relies on others on several occasions.

Amy: Yeah you would think that despite all this power you would think she would have no problem dealing with a stupid ass pig rather than get kidnapped and rely on some teenage boy dressed in green to save her.

Peach: (sighs) Yeah. But despite her downfalls Zelda will still play her part into protecting Hyrule from evil.... and not get kidnapped in the process.

Amy: Wow Peach you're one to talk tell me when's the last time you stopped Bowser from kidnapping you?

Peach: What? Well...

Roll: You heard her.

Amy: That's what I thought.

Peach: Well you're the one who got kidnapped by Eggman so.

Amy: At least I don't get kidnapped on a daily basis a dozen times.

Peach: Whatever.

Zelda: Link... You are the light... You are our light... That must shine upon Hyrule once again!

Kairi

Peach: On a world called Radiant Garden in a peaceful town in a series combined with Disney and Final Fantasy characters lived a young girl who was having a happy life, little did she know about her destiny: This was Kairi.

Background
Height: 151 cm / 5'
Weight: N/A
Age: 16
Homeland: Destiny Island
Birthplace: Radiant Garden
Name literally means sea
Princess of Heart and Keyblade Welder
Hayden Panettiere is jealous of her body

Amy: Yeah but we've seen this stuff before her life is not without evil popping out of nowhere in the form of the Unversed which left her and her grandmother defenseless.

Roll: Ah sh*t here we go again.

Peach: Fortunately Kairi was saved by two Keyblade Masters Aqua and King Mickey.

Amy: So as a thank you Kairi have Aqua some flowers. How lovely.

Roll: Aqua senses some pure light within her as the Princess of Heart so that's why she protected her.

Peach: And while this was a happy experience for Kairi it didn't last long.

Amy: Yeah several moments later the darkness returned in the form of the Heartless and obliterated everything in that world forcing Kairi to run away with no protect only to be kidnapped, put in a pod to experiment on her because she's the Princess of Heart than threw her away when it was a failure. Wow Aqua where were you when she needed you the most now the world is gone and her grandma is probably dead.

Roll: Yeah some hero she is. What a dumbass.

Peach: However that's not the case in case if something like that happens again Aqua placed a protection spell on her which worked perfectly and sent her to Destiny Islands where she befriended two boys: Sora and Riku.

Amy: The 3 quickly became best friends and played around and even tried to go on an adventure to leave the islands oh and Sora has a crush on her which is good.

Roll: Yeah talk about a happy life. Nice one... But all things must come to an end unfortunately and this one ended real quick.

Peach: The Heartless returned and attacked Destiny Islands with Riku falling to darkness, Kairi disappearing and Sora left to defend for himself.

Amy: Seriously?! Again so she's been attack not once not twice but three times give this girl a break please.

Roll: Yeah don't worry about it Sora eventually came to her rescued her.

Magic
Keyblade: Destiny's Embrace
Flower Shoot
Shotlock
Heart of a Princess
Doubleflight
Slide
Air Slide
Starcracker
Barrier
Strike Raid
Spiral Bloom
Firaga
Thundaga
Blizzaga
Curaga

Peach: Eventually Kairi decided that she no longer wanted to be a damsel that instead she'll become strong enough to fight alongside Sora and the rest of the Guardians of Light.

Amy: And because she's a Keyblade Welder she can use several types of magic.

Roll: The Keyblade Kairi uses is the Destiny's Embrace. Keyblades are basically like wands that can channel the user's magic for spells like fire, thunder, ice, and shields.

Peach: She can throw her Keyblade and teleport it to it's location, summon pearls of light from the sky and rain it down, and can even cure her own wounds.

Amy: She has to be carful though because one mess up and she'll lose the Keyblade.

Roll: Well even if she does lose it Kairi can immediately summon the Keyblade back to her hand.

Peach: Well, Keyblades can also be used to lock worlds and doors in order to keep out Heartless, which are corrupted beings split from the darkness of a person's heart, with a desire to consume.

Feats
Held her own against Xion, Saix, and Xemnas
Destroyed Xemnas' Ethereal Blades
Slept for 1 whole year
Battled Heartless and Unversed
Trained to be a Keyblade Welder
Defeated Armored Xehanort

Amy: Despite being an inexperienced fighter, Kairi can keep up with people like Xion, Saix, and even Xemnas. Those guys can keep up with several Guardians of Light members like Sora, Riku, and all of them. Those guys can block 1000 lasers and even travel across galaxies.

Roll: They've also survived this huge explosion from when the χ-blade was destroyed. But Sora's no joke. He went up against Hercules, a demigod that launched a sixteen hundred ton rock titan into space. But that's nothing compared to his dad, Zeus. That guy can move stars.

Peach: Kairi should be comparable to all of them because she's been able to keep up with top tier fighters before.

Weaknesses
Is inexperienced
Has been kidnapped on several occasions
Limited magic
Is not as skilled as other Keyblade Welders
Relies on Sora and Riku to help her
Keyblades aren't unbreakable

Peach: However Kairi has some major downfalls despite being able to keep up with top tier fighters she is still inexperienced and doesn't have the same level as they are and relies on them Sora especially and this is what ultimately happens. In the final battle Xehanort kidnapped Kairi and killed her in front of Sora in order to complete the X-Blade.

Amy: Jesus Christ, Kairi literally had her time to shine only for that to get through away.

Roll: That girl straight up got robbed. STRAIGHT UP!

Peach: And while Sora and his friends were able to defeat Xehanort and close Kingdom Hearts, Sora never felt that the battle was truly won, so he found a way to bring back Kairi.

Amy: Solution: Go back into and being some pieces of light and bring her back which was surprisingly successful.

Roll: But Sora ended up disappearing in the process. While this series can't get a happy ending can they?

Peach: But Kairi won't give up with some training from friends she will eventually find him. Despite everything that's happened Kairi has proven herself to be a strong capable woman of her own.

Kairi: I know that I can't. I need to finish training. I need to become stronger. And when I do I'll be right there next to you and Sora.

Verdict

(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates-again*)

Peach: Alright the combatants are set.

Roll: And we've run the data on all possibilities.

Amy: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!

Princesses of Light

(*Cues: Webbed Wings*)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Zelda is seen in bed sleeping at Hyrule Castle when suddenly she hears a crashing sound which wakes her up.

Outside the castle we see Kairi recovering from a recent crash landing.

Kairi: Uh. What was that? How did I-

Before she could finish three arrows where heading her way luckily she gets out of the way and turns to the direction they came from.

Zelda emerges from the castle.

Zelda: So you're the one who came by unannounced!

Kairi: Geez don't you treat your guests well?

Zelda pulls out her sword and attacks and clashes with Kairi, they both engage in a duel as they make their way inside the castle as the clash swords, Kairi jumps in the air and launches a fire attack but Zelda counterattacks with her own fire magic the clash made an explosion that send them both flying in opposite directions. Zelda crash landed at the fortress but quickly recovered and teleported away Kairi crash landed inside the castle. As she gets up Kairi speaks to her enemy.

Kairi: Okay okay, you have a point I'll get out of your hair, princess.

Zelda teleports in fount of them and is about to go strike her with a sword but Kairi knocks her back as the battle continues, the Princess of Heart shoots out pearls from the air at the Princess of Hyrule dodges whole riding Link's Master Cycle Zero as she fires an arrow at her adversary.

Despite Zelda's best efforts to trying to hit her, Kairi was able to knock her of the Master Cycle Zero as one of her pearls hit her.

Zelda: Darn.

Kairi lands on the ground and throws her Keyblade at Zelda which the latter dodges, just as Kairi was prepared to punch her, Zelda uses the Sheikah Slate to stop time freezing Kairi in the process. With her opponent unable to move for a few seconds, Zelda uses this operating to hit her with Phantom Slash, Torch Phantom, basically her standard smash combos. However the moment time unfreezes Kairi disappears much to Zelda's shock. Kairi teleports to where her Keyblade is thrown and begins her and casts thunder as it strikes Zelda. Due to the combos she took while frozen Kairi felt the pain and is forced to heal herself. Kairi then confronts Zelda.

Kairi: End is the line, loser.

Zelda however disappears and by the time Kairi attacks much to her surprise, Zelda disappeared. Kairi searches the castle to find Zelda, but struggles to find her.

Kairi: Alright where are you? I know this is your turf but-

Before she could say anything else she was attacked from behind by an individual. Kairi looks up and see Sheik was standing over her much to the Keyblade Welder's confusion.

Kairi: What? Who are you? What happened to-

Sheik: What happened to her is none of your concern!

Kairi teleports in front of Sheik and the two began to duel as Kairi couldn't hit her as Sheik was teleporting and was getting hit from all sides. Kairi eventually had enough of Sheik's assaults and uses ice to knock the latter outside and disappear again in the light. Just when she thought it was over, Kairi heard music coming from outside. She runs outside to investigate only to notice it's raining outside and stormy. Kairi follows the song and finds Sheik on top of the roof using the Ocarina of Time to change the weather by the time she's finished Sheik transforms and much to Kairi's shock it was Zelda all along in disguise much to her anger.

Kairi: You!

Zelda turns her attention to Kairi who calls out to her.

Kairi: I saw that! You tried to fool me with that disgust of yours!

Kairi jumps in the air in an attempt to hit the Hyrule Warrior.

Zelda: I'll give you credit for finding it out however you're too late.

Kairi is hit by multiple objects. Zelda use the Sheikah Slate to manipulate and throw objects at Kairi, but the Guardian of Light slashes throw them. Zelda throws another object, a small object at Kairi, which she catches but after seeing it's a bomb and see her enemy throw big more at her she wished she hadn't.

Kairi: Ooh, I shouldn't have done that.

The bombs exploded as Kairi is caught in it. Zelda awakens the Triforce of Wisdom and giving her more power as she gets her bow and arrow ready as Kairi emerges from the smoke with Seven Wishes.

Zelda: Let's end this!

Kairi: I couldn't agree more!

Zelda fires the light arrow as Kairi clashes with a Keyblade beam which resulted in an explosion that blew up the part of the castle they were fighting on. They ended up in Zelda's throne room as the two princesses get up. They both use healing magic to heal themselves. As Zelda prepares herself with two more light arrows while Kairi summons back her Destiny's Embrace as the former damsels is destress fight one last time. Zelda fires light arrows as Kairi dodges and clashes with Zelda's sword. The exchange blows but Kairi gets the upper hand by slashing Zelda in the leg and side stomach forcing Zelda back in her knees

Zelda: Oh no you don't!

Zelda uses the Trifoce once more and begins to trap Kairi who throw her Keyblade which misses. Kairi is about to be sealed within the Triforce.

Kairi: No no no!

Zelda smiles as she prepare to finish her off.

Zelda: This is over.

Unbeknownst to Zelda however the Keyblade, Kairi thrown earlier came back like a boomerang and hit Zelda in the back, freeing Kairi, canceling out the seal and completely injuring Zelda in the back. Despite that though she refuses to give up.

Zelda: I haven't lost yet.

Zelda uses the the Sheikah Slate to grab Kairi's Keyblade disarming her. Zelda then teleports in front of Kairi ready to deliver the final blow but Kairi summons her Keyblade back and slashes Zelda in the neck, decapitating her in the process, Zelda completely