Too Fast
It's been a few days since the twin's debut, still the aftershock had not died down. Did my crush really ask for my number? I know he meant it in a platonic manner, but as my heart beat faster than its normal pace causing my breathing to slow down. I can't help but think otherwise.
Also instead of having butterflies flutter in my stomach, it's more similar to them having a party. Which kind? Celebratory. Kahit na! Sumasakit ang aking tiyan at puso pag naiisip ko siya. Hindi 'yun healthy for me.
I screamed into the book I was holding. Sorry book for being the victim of my kilig moments. I thought I was done screaming into my book but as soon as I heard the sound of my notifications and saw the text.
I screamed.
09** *** 1430:
Hello, this is Zy
Sorry ngayon lang ako nag-text, nasira phone ko :(
Might as well have a whole metamorphosis in my stomach. Go ahead and have a cycle through there, rent free. Gosh, let me rest! Wait, you're so stupid, Mel! This is literally the perfect opportunity for my plan. I can't keep backing out.
Me:
Hello Zy!
Oh no, how did your phone break (˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Nahulog :((
Me:
Did you get it fixed? (◡︵◡)
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Yes, it's fixed now :D
Is it possible na kiligin sa typings ng isang tao? The way he types is a mix of formal and playful which fits his golden retriever energy—I love his vibes so much, it's so comforting to the point I can text him without changing the way I message people.
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
So what are you doing rn?
I can't tell him that I've been geeking about him. That's immediate social suicide.
Me:
Reading!
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
What's the title?
I looked over to the book I screamed into. It was lying on my med, begging for me to continue it. Hindi kasi talaga ako nagbabasa ngayon. I just used the book to muffle my screech.
Me:
The seven year slip
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Maganda ba?
Me:
I'm still reading but right
now it's 5 stars for me 彡☆
Seriously, I highly recommend that book, it's too good to pass on.
Me:
The narrations are just too good
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
I just searched
Her name's cute!
Hindi ko namalayan na nakangiti na pala ako. Can you blame me? He literally searched for it, that means he has interest. Maybe he's not interested in me, at least he's interested in the things I like.
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Oo nga pala
I didn't ask last time
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
What's your favorite book?
I'm already having flashbacks as soon as I think about what my favorite book was. That piece of literature tore me to pieces, I already knew what was going to happen. It was based on another literary work—it did not have mercy on my fragile emotions.
Me:
The Song of Achilles
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Parang narinig ko na yan
Should I read it?
Me:
Please don't read if you
can't handle tragic stories (⋟﹏⋞)
Seryoso ako, kung 'di mo kaya ang angst don't force yourself. It's not good for your mental health. Trust me, I had my fair share of suffering that I do not want other people to experience.
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
I'll handle it
I need to know for myself why Mr. Lasquite likes it so much
I scoff at his text, scratch the part where I said I do not want others to suffer. I need to see his confidence be shattered by that scene.
Me:
Okay!
I challenge you not to cry
while reading it Mr. Sanvictores! \\\٩(๑'^'๑)۶//
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Challenge accepted (｡+･'ω･')
Hala nag emoticons na din siya! Why is it cute when he does it?
Me:
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
I-vid ko pa ( •̀ω•́ )σ
Me:
If I see a single tear stain you're done for ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Cute naman ng emoticon na yan ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ
Me:
Right???
I think it's an underrated one ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ
Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Cute (─‿─)♡
To my dismay, our conversation was cut short. Mag-aayos daw si Zy dahil may pupuntahan siya mamaya-maya, sobrang gusto kong tanungin kung saan siya pupunta but I think I haven't crossed the border where I can ask such questions.
I stare at the yellow-colored book laying on my bed. I had an eye contact contest with it—it won the challenge not my heart. Yeah, I think I should study in advance for the next semester. I am not sure why I'm avoiding that book after liking it so much (maybe because it's going to remind me of our conversation and I might freak out). Hindi ko talaga alam.
I opened my laptop, opening the files sent to us for the purpose of reviewing in advance. Tinitigan ko ito, 'yun lang ginawa ko tinitigan.
Napakurap ako.
The font was starting to look like the words, "Apollo Zyle Sanvictores" instead of why media literacy is important.
Okay, so this isn't going to work.
I added another tab, exiting the other as quickly as humanly possible. I typed the words messenger on the search bar—entering it right away. I did not need to scroll to find the gc I wanted.
POWERPUFF GIRLS PERO MAY BOY
You + 2 others
Melupok:
@everyone do you want to hang out?
Ai love you:
GOOO
I'm free rn
Siabog:
G na g
SM Masinag
Ai love you:
YES!!
Melupok:
Okieee ٩(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و
There was one mistake I made that day, inviting my friends to hang out.
There are a couple of reasons as to why I flunked: One, I did not have a good outfit prepared. Two, I was not in a great mental state to be hehe-hahaing this situation. Three, and the most important reason my parents aren't home.
Sure they wouldn't mind me sending a text then going my merry way. That isn't the problem—ang problema hindi ako marunong magmaneho ng kotse.
What's the big deal? Marunong ka mag biyahe! There is a huge difference between taking a bus to my school and going to lower Antipolo, okay? Yes, they're the same direction, SM Masinag is just a tad bit lower but the traffic is insane and the bus keeps stopping every second.
I am not used to that. I tried it one time and I swear my soul separated from my body every time the driver hit the brakes to welcome another fish to our sardines can.
Despite my logic being great at reasoning out, I can't just rain check when the sun is brightly nagging me from the windows to go out. Okay fine, I'll think of a plan. I always do.
Who do I know is from the upper, has some sort of vehicle, and I'm close to.
Oh, I know!
Me:
Quatro, do you have a
license already? (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
Cool Quatro:
Wala pa my honeybunch, sugar plum, pumpkin, my sweetie pie
Me:
Okayy ('∀')
That was a failure.
Napabuntonghininga ako. I guess I need to find something to wear since I have no choice but to commute. Some of the buses don't even directly pass the mall, they stop at the overpass.
Note that overpass is a person with acrophobia's worst nightmare? The height of that structure plus the unsteadiness of said structure is a death wish. Oh that's not all, it's one of those multiple bridges interconnected.
Just thinking about it makes me not want to go even if it's a 50/50 chance! Those chances are too wide, too possible. It irks me.
Still, I was now done freshening up and I'm actually walking towards the subdivision's gate—dreading every step. I greeted the guards as I ran, penguin-style, papuntang sakayan. That said sakayan is just the opening of our subdivision, a few steps from the lovely guards watching over me.
There were no tricycles stopping, usually there already is a huge line of trike drivers persuading passerbys to take a ride. The only thing that was passing by is an imaginary tumbleweed and a few caws of awkward waiting.
Time was quickly going by and no tricycles were clocking in. So I stood there clutching onto my dumpling bag, the only appropriate going-out bag I have.
"Is this a sign?" I whispered.
The sound of an approaching motor brought my hopes up, finally... a tricycle.
Only it wasn't a tricycle, it was some sort of big bike but it did stop beside me. The stranger driving the motor was a man sporting a black helmet, covering his whole face. Oh so this is a sign I'm getting kidnapped in front of multiple guards, great!
His build is really familiar though, if I get actually kidnapped in broad daylight at least the kidnapper is body candy. Wait, I do not condone Stockholm syndrome! Mel, you stupid-stupid boy liker.
"Where are you going?" He lifted the glass covering his eyes.
"Oh, Zy!" That's a relief, "SM Masinag, I'm waiting for a trike."
"Hop in," He patted the back of his motor, gosh that was attractive. Oh my gosh, keep it together!
"HUH?" I covered my mouth, gusto kong umiyak sa hiya.
"I can't do that if you have plans," I waved my hands in front of my face while shaking my head aggressively to the point my glasses almost flew away.
"Doon din naman ako pupunta," He assured. I was a tiny bit skeptical, we always have some sort of coincidence that it does not feel like a coincidence anymore.
"Don't worry I have an npdl," That's my type-I mean that's so cool like wow he already has that when he's just seventeen haha...
"How about a helmet?"
I could hear his low laugh through the helmet, then he parked the motor momentarily and unhooked something at the back—it was a purple-colored helmet. I've noticed a few of his things are purple-colored, like his flower keychain currently hanging from his belt loop or his water bottle at his basketball match.
"Purple?" I accidentally said out loud.
"My little sister likes the color, you can wear it," I thought he was going to hand it over to me so I stretched out my hand to get it. However, he excused himself, taking off my glasses and putting the helmet on carefully.
He put back my glasses slowly through the opening before locking it in, "Masikip ba?"
"Oh, no...but are you sure, um how much?" Salamat talaga at hindi ako napautal sa gulat.
"It's free, Mel," He shouldn't be allowed to say my name with that voice. His genes are too good he needs a debuff! His voice needs to get nerfed by something or I might cry on how good he sounds saying my name.
You see in my head, I was moving similar to a worm bathed in salt but in reality I was unmoving—stiff as a rock if you will. The type of unmoving where if you try to poke me I will crumble instead of actually moving.
"Mel?" Please stop, at baka magkatotoo yung worm metaphor.
"Yes?" Mahinhin kong tanong, afraid I would stutter like a badly-written main character in those self insert fics .By the way, those are my guilty pleasure reads. They're really entertaining.
"Hop in."
Riding a motorcycle is easy-peasy. Yes, it was a big bike, it's okay since it has a built in pedestal so I smoothly hopped in the back. I adjusted a bit to make myself more comfortable when I realized he didn't have one of those back boxes I can lean on.
Saan ako pwede kumapit? Masyadong makapal ang hawakan sa likod and to put more weight in the already tipping panicking scale—pasmado ako. If I don't hold on tight, my face will have a meet and greet with the road and the upcoming stampede of vehicles.
I am not ready to say hi to both that as well as the light calling. No thank you, let me experience the romance by the books first before I happily skip to the stairway.
"Mel, okay ka lang diyan?" Tumigil ka nga kaka-Mel diyan at baka ikaw ang ihulog ko dito!
"I don't know where to hold on to," I admit.
"Kapit ka na lang sa akin."
Actually, I'd rather have that meet and greet.
Dahil 'tong big bike ni Zy mas mataas yung upuan sa likod kaya imbes na sa balakang niya ako yayakap mas abot ko ang dibdib niya sa position na 'to. That makes my options very limited: Mahulog o Ma-fall. Spot the difference and the relevance.
I have a feeling that Zy won't start the motor if I don't hold onto him. I sighed, mentally preparing myself as I hugged his chest area Trying not to think so much about it, I instantly spaced out.
Napansin ko lang na gumalaw na kami when the cold air hit my bare skin. I should've brought a jacket, malamig na nga sa mall—I also did not expect my ride to be accompanied with the harsh chilly wind. Kala ko enough na 'yung short-sleeved polo and sweater vest combo, hindi pala.
Can I also blame Zy just a teeny-tiny bit? He's a fast driver, seriously parang kanina lang nasa badang Robinsons kami ngayon malapit na kami sa paikot-ikot na daanan! That's why the air is punishing me, this guy is insane.
Though, he is a good driver. Not to toot his horn once again, even though he's driving like he's in the fast and furious motorcycle version—he's a very careful driver; he doesn't snake around.
Also everytime na may abrupt brake siya he holds onto the right side of my thigh which is slightly wrapping his waist area. A gesture I assume he does to prevent me from slipping.
He even whispers sorry to me then pats the side of my thighs before he lets go.
Is this the right time to say fuck?
I think this is the right time to say fuck.
Fuck!
Not only does he drive faster than my beating heart but isn't this relationship development a bit too fast? Ang assumero ko pakinggan pero kasi are all those gestures necessary? Pansin ko lang na grabe siya sa physical touch. Not that I mind, I mean my mind minds. See how I can't sentence right? That's how much it minds.
Anyways, may friends naman akong clingy. For example, Quatro he's pretty touchy but he has a role to play a.k.a. his fake crush on me. Zy, however, does not. I know I've assessed that he's also intimate with his friends. Still, he just met me. That's a quick timeline for platonic intimacy.
Here I am overthinking again for nothing. Quick timeline? As far as I know he also recently got closer to April, did that stop him from holding her waist? No, it did not!
Am I jealous? I have no rights to be yet I am. Magpapahulog na nga ako, deserve kong masagasaan right now para ma-refresh naman utak ko in terms of where I stand in his life.
I come to a conclusion to where that is: standing very far away.
Speaking of far away, we're already in front of xentro mall? Ang bilis, parang gusto kong bagalan niya para you know we have more time to be close to each other. Sandale, control yourself Mel.
Left brain please force yourself to handle the control panel; don't let the right brain take over for goodness sake.
Dahil nga nasa bandang xentro mall na kami, isa lang ang pwede mong ma-associate d'un. Traffic.
This is the only time I'm grateful traffic exists.
"Are you okay?" He said looking at me from the side mirror.
"Mhm," Hindi.
"Mel," Might as well jump onto oncoming traffic. "Okay lang ba kung sisingit ako so we can go there faster? Malaki naman yung space sa gilid."
Sana kung ang traffic kayo, 'di niyo nilagyan ng space sa gilid. Wala tuloy yung traffic moment namin, I was adamant that traffic romance could be a new trope. Yes I am romanticizing being stuck in traffic, leave my imagination alone.
I mean he did ask if I was okay with it. Really I am fine with his suggestion 'cause for sure my two friends are already waiting for me. I don't want them na maghintay nang matagal lalo na ako yung nag imbita.
Gusto ko lang mas humaba ang time namin together. Is that too much to ask for? Yeah, definitely.
"I'm okay with it," I am glad that this helmet is covering my dramatic pout. Ang OA ko kasi.
"Hold on tighter, Mel," I did as much as I could. Not taking advantage of the situation (I am) I just did not want to fall since even in a tight space this guy is not slowing down.
After a while, we arrived at the mall's parking lot near the entrance.
I struggled to take off my helmet, the lock would not cooperate with me. Zy who noticed immediately reacted and unlocked it.
I took off my glasses so it would not hinder me. Once I successfully took the helmet off, I put on my glasses. Aayusin ko na sana ang aking buhok pero inunahan na ako ni Zy.
"Thank you."
"No problem," Zy's dimples appeared accompanying his golden smile. How did I not notice na tinanggal niya na ang kanyang helmet? He was carrying it using one hand, leaning against his parked motor. I mentally took a picture of that view.
"Mel!" I turn at the sound of Krissia's voice. She was jogging towards me while Aizhy strutted behind her.
Krissia dramatically stopped in her tracks, the cartoon-type where you can hear the friction and see smoke coming out from their shoes? That kind of dramatic.
Aizhy also froze, her jaw dropped. She neck-breakingly whipped her head to look at Krissia who also stared at her in disbelief.
"Are you guys okay?" I'm very concerned. They did not reply, they stared with amusement. Shining, shimmering eyes look at me proudly. For what?
I turn to Zy, ngumiti siya ulit raising both his eyebrows.
"Thanks for the ride."
"You're welcome, text mo lang ako pag-uuwi ka na ha?" He leaned close to me. "Sabay na tayo."
Pagkatapos niya sabihin 'yun, umalis na siya kaagad. Now I was the one frozen still. Zy can't be a real person; he must be a figment of my imagination. There's no way a man like him isn't a written character.
Nang mawala na si Zy sa paningin namin biglaang tumili ang dalawa. I covered my ears as a reaction as they hugged each other jumping around as if they won the lottery.
"Putcha, ano yun pre?" Krissia shook me. Tawa siya nang tawa, ang saya nito ha.
"Mel, alalanahin mo ang sinabi ko sa'yo-"
"Ako rainbow, siya grayscale. I know, Aizhy."
"We're just friends," She had the sinong-niloloko-mo face. Ba't ayaw maniwala nito, if me and Zy were more than friends I would already be screaming about it.
"Okay, Mr. Text mo lang ako pag-uuwi ka na ha," Krissia smirked.
"Kala ko lubog na Sanquite ship natin, hindi pala!" Aizhy was clapping, it reminded me of how seals clap. "May awa ang tadhana."
"Kaya OTP namin kayo eh," Krissia patted her back proud of her statement up until Aizhy smacked her shoulder.
"Parang 'di mo tri-na-trash talk si STEM hottie ha?!"
"May rason naman ako!" Krissia rubbed her shoulder trying to ease the pain.
"Rason mo bulok," Aizhy snapped back.
Napailing ako, I'm used to this but they need to stop or they will be fighting till the sun sets. Kaya hinila ko silang dalawa paloob.
This plan was a rare victory of mine—I was distracted. We did a bunch of things together, of course including these two's never-ending banter but it was a lot of fun.
We ate at a cafe, we also played games at the arcade where Krissia won both of us plushies! Her competitiveness is a blessing at times like this. She got me a pochacco plush from the claw machine while she got Aizhy a hangyodon one from one of those new machines. Krissia may not be good at giving gifts but she knew our favorites.
Since this is a mall we did our usual window shopping. We visited different shops at such a fast rate I'm certain we toured the whole mall in under ten minutes.
"Daan tayo Miniso," Aizhy suggested, tumango ako nang mabilisan. I loooove Miniso! Alam kong eto lang ang shop na lalabas akong may bag of goodies.
"Okay," Si Krissia na naka-focus sa cellphone niya. She's recently active in twitter,
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