Favorite Things

"I'm sorry for earlier."

Distraction, I'm craving it right now. If I'm not distracted I will probably crumble down to nothingness. I stare at my hands—sure this can be one. I started digging my nails into my palms letting the pain wash over my nervousness.

"You don't need to be sorry it was your dare and the punishment is pretty unfair to you."

I was taken aback when Zy took my hand then caressed the marks on my palms. He muttered something I couldn't hear. I was too afraid to ask what he said kaya tumahimik na lang ako.

He eventually let go, his eyes still lingering on my hands. Pagktapos n'on, I stopped digging my nails unto my hands. Instead, I stared at it, still feeling the warmth of his touch.

"But Mayi agreed to make an alternative and I still spun it."

"You didn't know it would land on me though," He reasoned.

"Yes, even if it didn't land on you, I would still do it and say sorry,"His gaze went over to me. For a second, his eyes flickered something other than shyness. But it was gone as soon as it came, I couldn't even identify what it was.

"Really, why did you do it then?"

"I guess I just did not want to be a killjoy, I picked dare,I should do the dare," I explained, he slowly nodded though I could see he did not understand my reasoning.

"You did not need to force yourself, you know?" His ways of reassuring a person, it's not just about the words he utters, it's how his eyes droop down with concern. How his voice was laced with something so addictive—softness and care. Oh, the things I would do in order to hear this everyday is concerning.

"I know."

Silence enveloped us however, it did not feel awkward, it was comfortable. We gazed at the stars, aware of each other's presence. In fact, I am so aware, I keep getting reminded of the kiss. It isn't even considered a kiss, it's more similar to a miniscule touch like who cares?

Well, I do! This is my crush we're talking about. Not just any crush, it's beyond that. Yes, I know. I've already told myself na ex-crush ko siya. Pero I can't decide, okay?! Crush then naging ex-crush to him being my crush again. And now? I'm admitting that surely this isn't just a mere crush. Okay, Mel. Stop na, that's too many crushes in a single thought. This is so frustrating, ugh!

Mustering up more courage, I break our comforting silence, "I still feel bad though, I should've asked before kissing you."

"It's honestly my fault you were going to kiss me on the cheek and I turned around kaya okay lang, Mel," Is it possible for a person to be the reason for your crashing out and at the same time, relaxment? Dapat kontradiksyon 'yun eh.

"But still... is there anything I can do? It sounds selfish I know... I just can't sleep well if I don't do anything," I murmured.

Muntikan ko na ulit idiin ang kuko ko sa aking palad pero naalala ko yung ginawa niya kanina kaya I stopped myself. Pero at second thought, I can do it ulit para he'll have a reason to hold my hand—that's too desperate and weird. Cross out that idea, Mel!

"It's not selfish if that's what's burdening you," His voice sent shivers to my spine. Ang lamig ng boses niya, a huge contrast between the warm atmosphere he always brings to the table.

"I never thought of it that way."

Ang lalim ng tingin niya sa akin, that didn't last long dahil binalik niya ang tingin sa mga bituin. I copied his actions, and stared at the twinkling sky.

"This is a bit weird to say, I think selfishness is not so bad. Unless it affects another person negatively then it's normal. Humans are selfish by nature after all. That's why I get confused when people always glorify being selfless even though both selfishness and selflessness have their pros and cons. You don't need to always please people, that's unhealthy."

"Isn't being selfish toxic? That's what I've always heard," I substituted nail digging with playing with my fingers instead. It was a better distraction anyway.

"Both can be toxic or helpful depending on how the person handles the situation. It's my personal opinion, but people can benefit from not judging people who want to choose themselves over others," Feeling ko nag-iimagine nanaman ako. I felt his stare on me which is impossible since I looked over and he was still appreciating the sky.

"You're surprisingly good with words," I giggled when Zy turned to me and his jaw dropped. Appalled by the comment he sulked, there goes the big baby!

"Did you think I wasn't?" My giggle slowly developed into an uncontrollable laugh.

"Well, you did forget to say the punchline of your pick up line," I pointed at him while laughing, he grabbed the finger I used to point and moved it away, his head tipping over seemingly to get a better view of my laughing face.

"That was one time, Mel."

I raised my eyebrow doubting him. He joined me in laughing loudly, I'm one-hundred percent sure others could hear our cackling from a mile away. Yet, we didn't care, we just laughed and laughed until my stomach was in pain. Nothing was even that funny to gain such a reaction from us. Still, sa sandaling iyon akala namin we were comedic geniuses.

It was so stupid.

I loved being stupid when it came to him; I am always a fool when it comes to him. So why would I care now?

"So, is there anything I can do?" I said in between laughs. Preparing myself for whatever he would think of.

"Hmm..." His laughter accompanied his deep thinking. Alam kong crystal clear that he isn't angry I just feel burdened. According to him, I wasn't selfish for saying that.

"Let's do 20 questions then."

"Isn't that a pretty long game?" I don't really know the rules all that much. I've heard it's basically pinoy henyo western version, meyron naman atang pagkakaiba . As I had mentioned, I don't know how the game works.

"We're not going to do the normal 20 questions, where you need to guess the subject matter," He definitely noticed my confusion, "We're going to ask basic twenty questions. Ten each."

"For example: What's your full name?" Muntikan ko ng sagutin then I remembered he already knows my name. I think.

"Oh... so we're not doing a logic game but a getting to know each other game?" He ruffled my hair making a mess out of it, his eyes smiling.

"That's right."

Inayos ko ang aking buhok. Butterflies fluttered around my stomach, soft and gentle similar to his demeanor.

"That's all?" I was expecting the worst.

"Mhm, that's everything," Ayan nanaman ang tingin niya na 'yan! It's that look, I can't seem to comprehend, his eyes are usually wide with wonder but right now it's lidded with I don't know...tanga ba ako ba't hindi ko maintindihan.

"Ikaw muna magtanong."

My confusion was piling up, "Shouldn't you be the one who should ask first?"

"My game, my rules," He sported a childish grin making me frown at his playfulness. On the inside, I was freaking out that he was being playful.

I scratched my cheeks trying to think of a piece of information I did not know about him. Of course, the basics are out of the question—discluding his birthday. It's too simple to ask when his birthday is pero gusto ko talaga malaman.

"So... when's your birthday?"

"August 4, Leo," Bilis naman niya sumagot.

"How about you?"

"March 27," I'll be eighteen in the next three months. Truly mind boggling. I'm going to be a society acclaimed adult soon. No, thank you, I like being seventeen.

"Aries?"

Tumango ako, "Yes, I don't fit the typical Aries personality.."

People often get shocked when they learn my zodiac sign. Well, I'm not much of a zodiac believer but I don't judge people who do naman. It's captivating how stars can align with your personality, it can be just a plethora of coincidences, but for some? It's not.

Anyways, people always assume I'm a cancer. Is that a compliment or not?

"Compatible..."

Did he say something?

"Huh?"

"I said mas matanda ka pala sa akin? Assuming that we're born in the same year," He awkwardly avoids my gaze. No, I feel like that's too long compared to the blurry word earlier.

"I was born in 2007," I still answered it despite my my suspicion. Gosh, 'di ako makapaniwala na mag-e-eighteen na mga '07 liners in 2025.

"So you really are older than me," He looked too amused for his own good. I'm developing a love-hate relationship with my crush, I swear!

"Just older by a few months!" I huffed.

"You're a total victim of baby face," Zy pinched my cheeks. His eyes widened, shocked by his own actions. He let it go, whispering a small sorry.

Does he think I'll forgive his teasing just because he looks cute right now? Almost! Hindi ako masyadong marupok 'no.

"What do you mean by baby face? You're built like a college student!" He satirically gasped. I glared at his cheshire-cat-like grin, if he's acting like the cheshire cat then he should also copy the disappearing act it does before I step on his foot.

"Ugh, I'll just ask another question," Anything would be okay, I just want to know him more. "What's your favorite song?"

"That's random."

"Cut me some slack. I don't know what to ask, you're so popular I feel like I've heard every single detail about you just by passing down the halls."

Enthralled by my reasoning, he giggled then forced himself to stop, "Kilala mo na pala ako?"

I feel like this is common knowledge for everyone in our batch to be aware of the STEM hottie, "Who wouldn't? Just answer please."

"My favorite is, "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars."

"Alam ko, I have a basic taste in music," His smile was different this time, it was as if he dedicated that song to someone.

Baka nga nag o-overthink lang ako ulit, nonetheless his smile hits way too close to home. I've also dedicated a song to someone albeit an imaginary scenario...it was still my song for him.

"Why is it your favorite?" My hesitation was obvious, sana hindi niya mapansin.

"Wait, is that considered as my third question?"

"Yup," He answered, popping the letter p. "I'm considering that your third."

"It's a pretty long story, in 10th grade I played that song on loop. Wala lang, I guess you could say that I relate to the song.," Zy pinched his lower lip staring off into the distance recalling a memory—I assume. Eventually, our eyes met and he smiled.

"You look like you want to ask how, pero malas ka magiging fourth question mo 'yun."

"I won't ask," I already know why it's his favorite wholly by his actions. Smiling and reminiscing a combination that screams I devoted this song for a special someone.

"You can ask two questions to make us equals," I randomly made an equal hand sign to which he copied, with his smile brightening.

"Favorite movie?"

"Don't judge me but it's to All The Boys I've Loved Before," Confident ako sa sagot ko. I acknowledge that mentioning a local movie is better for that category but I can't deny my love for that film.

"Seriously?"

"I'm serious. I love the concept and I hated other movies, the original is just chef's kiss to me. I know it's a pretty cliche movie... it's how the movie handles the cliche that makes it so amazing," I said in awe...pero parang hindi lang ata ako ang namamangha.

Zy needs to stop looking at me in that way or I'm going to get the wrong idea.

I shy away from his fixed look, "It had all my favorite tropes, that movie even made me love some of the tropes I used to hate."

I continued talking about that movie in order to not be conscious of his eyes scanning my face. Mr. Sanvictores tumigil ka diyan, maawa ka na sa akin.

"I just think it's underrated, not like it's not popular! It is. What's underrated about it is how the relationships were handled because you would think it's a love triangle," I pointed at him, my right hand on my hips. "It isn't!"

When I noticed his vacant smile I lowered my hand hiding it behind my back, "Sorry, I rambled."

"Don't be sorry, I like listening to you."

Pareho kaming nagulat sa sinabi niya. This whole conversation is making me think he's an impulsive person who speaks without thinking and I don't mean to sound like I'm insulting him. He literally got shocked by his own actions—not just once but twice.

"I mean your likings specifically. That's why I'm going to use my third question for what are those favorite tropes?"

Natawa ako ng namula ang kanyang tenga, an involuntary effect he usually has when he's embarrassed. I don't want to admit that I find his reaction to embarrassment attractive but by just thinking that parang inamin ko na din.

"This isn't a trope per se but the letters were my fave and I keep trying to find it on other medias. For the other tropes, it's fake dating and unpopular nerd x popular athlete."

"So does that mean your type are popular athletes?" Dumbfounded at his question I froze while he was smirking both eyebrows raised in curiosity.

I may be great at acting like he wasn't my crush, but that doesn't mean I'm great at lying overall. If I denied his accusations, it would make me so guilty, I'll be thrown in jail for the crime of fraud.

I have no choice but to say, "That's your fourth question, yes all of my crushes have been athletes."

Before he could react, I thought up another question to throw at him.

"How about you, what's your type?"

"I'm definitely a sapiosexual. Lahat ng nagustuhan ko galing star section."

That makes sense, Aizhy was part of the star section back in Junior high. That's where I got close to her and Krissia since we had the same section. This reminds me of my reminiscing earlier which domino effected to remembering the dare I did.

Stupid Mel, stop thinking already!

"When did you realize your type was smart people?" I faked a cough, trying to forget that damn dare.

"10th grade moving up."

"That's kind of recent," I flinched when he suddenly went closer then I felt his hand taking something on my hair. Zy distanced himself showing the leaf while mouthing the word 'dahon.'

He let the piece of leaf be blown away by the cold wind, making me realize that I was only wearing swimming trunks and a thin polo. All the heat I was feeling from our interaction evaporated into the freezing wind attacking my bare skin.

"Alam ko, hindi ko din naman inexpect na taga star section dati crush ko," He said, draping his jacket over my shoulder. Hindi ako sigurado kung ang nararamdaman kong init ay dahil ba sa jacket or me blushing crazily over a simple gesture.

Eto ba yung sinasabi nilang bare minimum enjoyer?

"Do you still like her?" I looked up to him pulling the jacket closer, letting it engulf my body. His scent washed over me—you would expect that he would smell like sandalwood, something musky. The common scent descriptions when it comes to the male love interest in books.

To my surprise, it was floral. I am not good at knowing the notes of a perfume but it was definitely some sort of flower with an undertone of wood. Ang bango niya! Ano ba 'to? He isn't just an eye candy anymore, he literally smelled like one too.

"Are you seriously using your sixth question for that?"

I was about to answer him lowering my gaze—that's when it hit me. He gave his jacket to me, meaning that he has no...oh no.

He was shirtless underneath that jacket.

Mel, this is not the proper time to be ogling the details of his toned muscles. Is there any other time I can appreciate such a masterpiece though? Self, calm down, you're getting too obvious! Answer him, oh my gosh!

"Yes, I'm curious. You did confess to her infront of everyone," That sounded robotic.

"It was not everyone, walang mga taga ABM, GAS, TVL n'on." His face was playful but his eyes says otherwise. It was filled with...worry?

"It's an exaggera–are you trying to change the topic?" My forehead creased. Pinagtritripan ata ako eh.

"Is that your seventh question?" Putting the fuel to the already burning fire, huh?

"No, of course not," I pouted.

"Joke lang, I still like that person..." Zy's voice lost all structure, he sounded breathless as his gaze lowered. Is he looking at my chin? His eyes stayed there—dilated. What is on my chin?

"You can say her name, again, you confessed in public."

This time I was the one teasing him. I put on my most annoying smile, he licked his lower lips when he noticed my taunting. His eyes finally met mine, he mimicked my pouting and I swear I can see dog ears drooping from his head complementing his puppy eyes.

"Nahihiya ako, okay?"

"You weren't embarrassed when you confessed!"

Tumawa lang kaming dalawa, after that we asked simple, dumb questions. I even asked his favorite letter in the alphabet out of nowhere which caught him off guard but he answered, "H, underrated letter."

He also asked mine. I replied with a giggle before saying, "U." knowing full well katono niya ang salitang "You."

"Last two questions," Zy threw up a peace sign while giving me a quick wink, causing me to want to jump onto the pool beside the pavilion. My knees weakened, this guy's effect on me needs to be studied. My legs are literally shaking from a wink!

Down bad.

Well, he seemed to notice my shivering state as he pulled the chair offering me to sit. Of course, as a kind citizen, I accepted the offer. I didn't accept it because he was my crush or anything like that. I am just a nice, accepting acquaintance.

Since that was the only chair available, he made himself comfortable on the cold floors in front of me. He must be freezing, he's literally topless right now tas nakaupo pa siya sa sahig!

Feeling guilty I offered to bring back his jacket. Umiling si Zy, putting his hands on my knees, "Body contact is a great heat provider."

I'm one hundred, maybe a thousand percent sure that I'm having delusions right now because there's no way he just said that. But the way his touch imprinted my skin felt so real.

"What's your ideal date?"

Oh yeah, this was real. We were doing 20 questions, I really need to stop thinking that, scenarios like this are only in fiction.

"Surprisingly, I have never thought about this."

"Sa totoo lang kala ko meyron kang kaagad masasagot," He rest his head on his crossed arms. Code: Red, he's now resting near my thighs, not my knees. Maawa ka sa akin Zy at baka matadyakan kita.

"Wait, wait, wait, let me think!" I bounded my knees, hitting him on the process. Ha, karma!

Pero kinarma din ako kaagad. As revenge he pressed his hands hard on my thighs. It did not hurt pero ang bigat sa feeling, akala ko mababagsak yung upuan. He smiled at my shocked face while going back to his previous position.

I huffed at him, "Bookstore date."

This position is not good for my heart, nararamdaman ko bawat galaw niya and his stare at this angle is too intense for my liking.

"Elaborate?"

"Tenth question?" Pinigilan kong 'di ngumiti.

"No, you don't need to answer that," He said, drawing circles on my legs. Doon ko napagtanto na clingy si Zy, I mean remember the time I hit my head against the gate and I saw him being intimate with his friends? Does this mean he thinks of me as a friend?

Nice, that's a great start to my plan that I totally did not forget...

"That'll be your bonus question," I pat his head instinctively. Hindi ko kasalanan na his fluffy hair was so inviting.

"I want a boyfriend that's not really a reader, again quite selfish. I want to be the one to introduce books to them. Bookstore