I was awakened by a knock at the door, it was only when I opened my eyes to the dark blues walls that I noticed I wasn't in my room.

I started to panic.

"Kylian, we're leaving for Katherine's appointment now." Mrs. Williams said.

I was full on panicking now but Kylian just groaned giving my hip a squeeze with his hand.

"Yeah mom," he half shouted

"Good morning Leigh-ann." Mrs Williams said, my eyes widened.

"G-Good morning Mrs. Williams." I said stammering.

I heard her chuckle. I looked at Kylian my eyes wide as I started to panic even more, he was grinning at me. I felt like there was an inside joke that way flying right over my head. I covered my face with my hands, I could hear the footsteps retreating.

"Oh my G-God. She's going to...she thinks..." Kylian just laughed turning on his side to look at me, I wanted to slap the stupid smile from his face.

"Calm down, I told you... I talked to her." He said shrugging before I could ask him what about he rolled out of bed. He walked to the bathroom and soon after I heard the shower turn on, I groaned and went to my own room to wash myself.

I tried not to think about what last night meant, since I don't even know where we stood. And then there was the secrecy around the talk with his mother. I groaned as I lathered soap onto my body, I was sure this was going to give me a headache, so I shut off my thoughts and focused on not getting my hair wet.

After dressing, I made my way downstairs where I made us breakfast. Loading two omelettes with cheese and making toast and bacon.

When I was pouring myself some coffee Kylian padded into the kitchen bare foot with damp hair, he was actually wearing a shirt today and it looked weird to see him not shirtless.

"Hi" he said smiling at me while he slid into the stool at the counter, I handed him a plate and poured him his glass of milk.

"You spoil me, I'm probably going to have to force my migraines just so you can treat me right." He was grinning but I know that it was coming from somewhere.

I sipped my coffee deciding I needed to eat before I discuss whatever needed discussing.

I didn't make sense when I was hungry.

After breakfast though Kylian padded upstairs.

I sighed, washing the dishes to buy some time to sort out what I wanted to say. I wasn't sure how the talk would go, it wasn't something I'd done before. And I had no control over the situation, or have any idea how it'd work out.

If my shaking hands and throbbing pulse wasn't  a clear indication. I was nervous and it showed.

When I was done I made my way upstairs, I stood in the hall for a questionable amount of time, just staring at the white door.

I finally pushed it open.

Kylian was playing some sort of video game he only glanced at me for second before going back to his game. I pushed the door closed behind me huffing, I had a feeling this wasn't going to be easy.

I sat on the sofa beside him pulling the open bag of gummy bears from between his thighs and dropped few in my mouth chewing while I looked at the ceiling, after a while I sighed.

"Kylian, I want to talk." I said lifting my head to look at him, I wasn't sure if he heard me or was just ignoring me.

But then he paused his game, pulling off his headphones slowly as he turned to focus on me. I wasn't fully prepared for his undivided attention, his eyes still captivated me, even though they were blank of all emotion. I hated that I couldn't read him.

I sighed looking down at my hands to escape his gaze, I was wringing my hands together a motion I've come to associate with nervousness.

"I'm sorry." I said softly.

I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself to look him in the eyes.

"Kylian, you really have no idea how sorry I am, I was miserable for a whole month. Wondering if you hated me or...then you just. I couldn't look at you and not have my chest hurt. After your mom came in and...saw what happened. I got scared and mostly confused and I was hurt. Because of some of the things she said, but mostly because some of what she said was right. I was being selfish and I hadn't thought about what it would mean, it was unprofessional and an in the spur of the moment thing but..." I sighed,

"She told me to stay away from you, and I did because I thought...I don't know what I was thinking. Because you were my only friend in this whole fucking country and I was losing you but I couldn't lose this job or even put your family in an awkward position but it ended up happening anyways and it was out of control and then there was Molly and... I just felt like it was too late. God I'm rambling. Basically I just want you to know, I am so sorry, so very sorry and I just hope we can be like we were before this mess." I moved my hand in a wild motion, I blinked back the tears.

We were silent for such a long time, every second chipped another block off my heart. I dragged in a shaky breath and forced myself to look at him.

"Kylian say something." I said softly.

His eyes flashed to mine, like he just remembered I was here. He ran a hand through his hair. "You hurt me Leigh." He said finally.

The way he said it caused a tear to slip from my eyes, I nodded my head wiping my face. 

"I know." I said my voiced cracking. 

"Especially when you said what happened was a mistake, and I watched you avoid me, avoid it for so long. And I spent hours on the roof, hoping you'd come up so we could talk about it. But you never did and I gave up. I stopped caring and then Molly happened, I was hoping she'd at least get a reaction out of you. Anything, I would've taken anything you gave to me, even anger. But you just...you looked right through me." He said grabbing his hair and pulling it.

"Leigh I don't know what you expect but we can't be like before. That's never going to happen again."

I sucked in a deep breath, my hand flew up to my chest, rubbing it to ease the pain.

Is this what heartbreak felt like?

I nodded my head, "I get it." I said refusing to look him in the eyes.

"No you don't," Kylian said chuckling, I finally allowed my eyes to meet his, he was smiling and I couldn't understand what was going on. I was very fucking confused. This was nothing to be smiling about.

"Leigh-ann you're the most oblivious person I know. But I honestly wouldn't change a thing about you. And I can't climb up on that roof another night and talk to you for hours, and watch the stupid sunset or get high with you and talk about things that would seem stupid to normal people. I can't listen to weird music with you like things are the same, I can't pretend like I don't spend my four AMs fighting sleep just so I can talk to you. I can't continue to pretend like I don't feel this. I especially cannot sit in this room with you and pretend like I haven't replayed that kiss in my mind every night for the past month. Or like I don't want to kiss you again."

He looked at me with pleading eyes, his hand was still gripping his hair. He looked angry and I don't know at who, but my heart was pounding in my chest and my eyes were wide and there was a whooshing in my eyes. 

"I can't pretend like things will be like before Leigh, because it won't be and I don't want it to be. But if that's what you want. I'll try."

He grimaced like saying that was bitter in his mouth, and was just another repulsive taste on his tongue,

"Oh God, I'd try. Because I'd gladly take anything I can get."

When he was done he dropped his hand in his head and groaned, cursing under his breath.

I had to remind myself to breathe.

I tried to absorb the information and deal with it rationally but the emotions that came with the knowledge made it hard to think or focus. I felt myself slide off the sofa, I was walking towards him, I wasn't in control of my body or thoughts and I didn't want to be. I just know I wanted to look into his eyes.

I needed him to ground me with his gaze because I felt weightless. I felt like this was a dream and a huge part of me I came to realize, wanted this to be real. I kneeled before him, pulling his hands away, forcing him to look at me.

"Kylian." I said softly.

When his eyes met mine I felt the floaty feeling dissipate, replaced by the familiar tingles that coursed through my body every time I looked into his eyes for too long, I smiled.

"Kiss me." I said

He looked confused for a split second before his eyes widened.

"Kiss me Kylian." I repeated

It only took a second before he was gripping my neck and pulling me to crash my lips into his. I felt like I could finally breathe, there was the floaty feeling again threatening to consume me. I grabbed his shirt and squeezed, forcing myself to stay grounded.
To stay in the moment.

His lips were moving against mine, it wasn't gentle like the first time, he kissed me like I was his air. And I knew the feeling so I kissed him back because I wanted him to know I felt the same. I moved forward so he was forced to lean back as to not break the kiss. I moved so I was now straddling his hips. His hands pulled me closer to him and I let him, letting out a soft moan when my body crashed into his.

When his grip on my waist tightened I gasped, and his tongue took the opportunity to move into my mouth. When kissing Kylian everything came to me naturally, I did what felt right and his low groans were the only encouragement I needed to continue. I ground my hips against him instinctively and he pulled back almost immediately, our lips parting with a distinct sound.

We were both breathless and I had the silliest grin on my face.

"Don't do that, you're not ready for that yet." He said in warning,

"You sound so sure." I said cheekily.

He groaned but there was a smile on his lips, they were red and slightly swollen. Beautiful.

"Where have you been?" he said looking at me with his intense eyes.

I remembered he had said that the first time he read my list, and I blushed because apparently he had felt like this even then.

"Looking for you." I whispered.

His features softened and his eyes fluttered like my words had moved some part of him that was hidden from my eyes. 

He pulled me to him, kissing me again.

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A/N
Well that happened.

I was so emotional writing this 😂 almost drop a tear.
My babies growing up mayne.

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