“Right kiddo...you excited?” The regular energetic voice of Hanji’s enquired as she bounced up and cupped her hands over my cheeks jokingly.

“No.” 

 “Aww… don’t be so blunt on me, Hay-hay. If we all stick to Erwin, then it’s gonna be all good. You’ll see.” Hanji re-adjusted the collar of my white polo shirt and tucked it in as she said. Her face completely forced into an unbothered expression as she hummed in a sing song tone. She was such a big sisterly type, always fixing up my uniform and checking if I was staying in line.

But I knew Hanji well enough to be able to tell that she was forcing that smile on her face. There was nothing good to look forward to in expeditions, even for an optimist like her. You just die. And if you don’t, you will in the next one. Or the ones after. This was gonna be my first round with the new graduate class who had the guts left to join Survey Corps. And trust me, this will be one heck of an awkward reunion, since I was gonna meet many familiar past faces from my training corps, and they won’t be too happy to see me either.

But still, I’m technically their mentor now, since I’ve graduated earlier than my original training squad.

Hanji read my bitter expression easily as she finished folding my collar out. She bit her lip and looked into my eyes.

“Listen Hazel,” She said in a serious voice; finally using my normal name with no stupid hay-hays or some shit attached to it. She propped both her hands onto my shoulders and looked at me reassuringly.

“Don’t worry about those stupid freaks from your training squad; you’re one of us now. You’re a soldier of the Survey Corps, been fighting by our side all these years. Remember that.”

“I don’t give a shit about them,” I laughed with the effort of masking some spirit into it.

 “And just … just stay alive, will you?” Her eyes widen, showing that she wasn’t joking on this one. “You have to. Don’t pull anything stupid.”

I nodded to her concern.

“You too.” I snickered as I swept her sisterly hands off my shoulders and shot over a consoling smile, heading towards the stables to retrieve my horse.

******

All the Survey Corps, including me and a few other familiar faces I could just recognise from my training squad, were gathered in front of the gates of Wall Maria.

I was kept particularly close to the middle of the formation group on the western side, so I wasn’t that far off from Hanji and Levi’s groups.  In a few minutes, these gates would open and the expedition outside the walls shall begin. Surrounding me were many inexperienced looks, obviously troubled and worried about what they might see outside. 

Obviously titans.

 “Hey,” I felt a nudge on my arm and I turned around, my glare meeting the bright eyes of a young boy, who looked about the same age as me, perhaps a bit older. My eyes took notice of his fair and light ash brown hair, as light as the wads of cotton I’d find at the local trader. He did look somewhat familiar, but I was bad with names. He must have been one of those new graduates joining us on this expedition today. His horse was mounted next to mine as he smiled at me cheerfully.

Pure admiration towards him for his effort in trying to pull the edges of his lips into a beam.

I’m kidding. I don’t even give a rat’s ass.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Hazel. How has your training been?” He enquired in a curious voice as if he was simply talking to an old friend of his, ignoring the fact that this was legit the first time we’ve met. He seems like an open type of person though, completely in contrast with Levi’s stoic and bipolar attitude.

I narrowed my eyes at him, a bit confused.

“Sorry, who are you again?” I pulled my face into an uneasy expression as I remembered that I was supposed to keep my distance from the newbies by way of Levi’s instructions. But it wasn’t completely illegal for me to exchange a few words with them, and plus… Levi wouldn’t notice. The corporal would be too busy keeping his distance away from the usual fan girls from downtown.

The boy bit his lip, but he didn’t seem too surprised by my question, as if he had already expected for me to say something along the lines. “Oh right, you really can’t remember, huh?” He scratched his head as he laughed half-heartedly.

“I’m Stefan, Stefan Bach. Nice to meet you... like officially.” He offered his hand as he smiled kindly at me, which I hesitantly took.

“Hazel Adler.” I quietly responded and quickly withdrew my hand back onto the reins of my own horse. My eyes shifted to my right and caught sight of a young girl, her dark chestnut hair pulled back in a side ponytail as her lips were drawn into that same big, cheeky smile I’ve remembered some time ago.  

Bella Nagel.

How can I not remember that same girl who had once sat with me during dinner, begging me for combat tactics. It used to be just plain old me on the last table in the corner of the dining hall, until this mischievous brunette popped out of nowhere and jumped onto the seat next to mine. She was so silly and smiley and everything in a military academy, it was hard to believe that she wasn’t some sort of comic relief or anything.

“I’m Bella!” She would exclaim in her usual high pitched voice, “But you can call me…” Then she would start sticking her slim fingers up as she listed all the possible nicknames that I should take up calling her.

Looks like she was in my travelling group too, huh?

“Of course, everybody knows who you are.” He smiled, drawing my attention back to him again, “The girl who was so skilled that she skipped our basic training and moved on with the superiors to do all the hard stuff.”

“It’s … it’s not like that...” I looked away and mumbled, a little annoyed how everyone just has to put it that way. I never saw myself in the highlighted angle of surpassing everyone. And yes, I highly despise people with that sort of arrogance.

He took notice of my uncomfortable reaction.

“It’s honourable to be working here with everyone, especially you.” He flashed over a smile at me, which made me wince awkwardly. My spine shrunk a bit as my figure slumped down uneasily, trying to ignore this outspoken guy next to me.

“Adler, Bach. Shut up.”

Holy shit.

Snickering arose from the group of newbies as I spun my head around to Commander Erwin’s voice telling me off. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes like I usually do and exhale through my nostrils, downright exasperated. The expedition hasn’t even started yet and yet these people were already having such a flustering effect on me, and I’m supposed to fight with them later?

I looked around and realized that Levi was glancing over at me from his group, giving me the usual leg-jerking don’t-make-me-come-over-there look to keep me back on track.

The main cobblestone path was filled with nearby villagers. Men, women, elderly, children. All attentively observing the soldiers who would soon be outside those caging walls. I couldn’t exactly state off the bat that they were looked enthusiastic about this. Like all the other expeditions, there were always the children, their eyes full of joy as they stared at their heroes in green capes proudly. Then there were the ones who grimly stared and mumbled about wasting their tax money on us or something.

Can’t exactly guarantee that all of us would make it back either.

Just putting it out there.

The usual not-so-motivational ‘Oh look, they’re sending off more soldiers to their graves’ came from the surrounding crowds of villagers as we all watched the giant gates rise, revealing the entrance to the outside world.

“Let the expedition begin!”

And off we rode to our deaths. For the glory of humanity, of course.

******

Stefan tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a piece of bread, trying to smile a little as he faced me.

I nodded faintly towards him thankfully, handing him a little bag of sugar. I don’t know what he had in that little cup of his, but perhaps sugar could be of some help to him, and maybe serve as something little and apologetic for the attitude I’ve been giving him this morning.

At first I really thought Stefan was just another one of those fakers who’d think that painting on a smile all the time would help him survive in life. I hated people like that. Fake, hollow, people you can’t rely on. Trust me, I’ve seen heaps of those people, and half of them didn’t make it out alive. But he didn’t turn out to be too bad, I had expect something far more … crappier.

He plumped himself next to me on a grassy spot, watching the bare trees in the far distance swaying to the wind.

That same sipping noise I heard from pretty much everywhere snuck back to counter the silence as Stefan casually took a sip from his cup, which appears to be coffee or some sort. Our little grassy spot here was quiet, mainly because I chose to sit alone in peace, leaning against the big trunk of the tree with its leaves branching out as a shade.

I’ll be honest with you; I’m a bit short tempered… and slightly obnoxious? This was one reason why I never got along well with others in my training squad. They were all so talkative and digging into your personal life. The thought of them just irritated me. It was surprising how Levi, Hanji, Erwin, Mike and the others could put up with me so well. I’d only expect myself to last till morning before I get cut in half by Levi.

I still remember one time back at the training squad; I threw a skunk in one of the girls’ bunk beds. Like one of those really bitchy girls who couldn’t keep their judgements to the back of their head, having to always spit shit out. Oh how my instructor chewed me out the next morning.

 Idiot! Save those skunks for the titans, if you can even survive through the next 3 years of training.

Stop fooling around, you piece of shit.

You’re better off as titan-food than playing around with skunks.

Something along those lines.

“Hey, you’re a pretty introverted person.” He said after a while, trying to start up a conversation.

“I can be pretty retarded if you’re one of the few that has witnessed me drunk.” I retorted sarcastically, expecting that to be a conversation drainer.

He simply laughed at me response.

“Who has seen you drunk?” He questioned quizzically.

“No one.”

He shook his head, chuckling in disbelief. Stefan can laugh and anything and everything. Cliché goody good heroine of the story where the character was designed to be loved. I sunk lower against the trunk in the shade, nibbling on my piece of bread and watching the rhythmic movements of the trees in the wind. The brunette scratched his head boyishly as he looked down, not giving me the usual eye contact he has always given.

“I like introverted people.” He commented quietly. “They seem interesting.”

 Introverted. Interesting.

That was a compliment right?

From a boy.

“Anyway,” I fought off the blush and pushed away an annoying strand of hair away from my eyes, redirecting the conversation to a different direction, “Why did you join the Recon Corps?”

Stefan’s eyes glistened in interest as he thought about my question. It didn’t take me long to notice that his big, charming eyes were in a nice golden, almost grey-ish hue. At first I thought it was just lighting or something that made his brown eyes looked lighter, but with a closer look, I can positively confirm that those were one pair of rare eyes you can’t describe with just one word.

“I guess I just want to do something with my life.”

“Yeah?”

He turned around, his light eyes reflected in the light.

“My father’s a merchant. People don’t like him because …”

I drummed my fingers in a repetitive pattern, expectedly waiting for him to finish.

“He puts stock before lives. I wanted to make up for that… for all the people who didn’t make it, as his son.”

Merchants. Inhumane beings who would force a cart through a tunnel, trying to move their treasured stocks of wealth when there were crowds of people panicking and trying to escape the titan infested streets.

Stefan suddenly leant over and flicked me on the forehead jokingly, lightening up the mood a bit which took me by surprise.

“After all, what else was I supposed to do?” He winked heartily.

I bit my lip showing my obvious irritated expression, when I was really hiding my small smile as I rubbed my forehead.

He chuckled lightly at me and rested his head on his hand. Admittedly, Stefan is starting to get less-hateable on my scale.

But who am I to make quick judgements? I just met him.

I’ll need more time to buy that he really is what he said he is.

“What about you Hazel? Why did you join this branch? Surely you have something else to do with your life.”

 “I got bored.”

“That’s it?” He questioned in doubt. “No way!”

“Yes way.” Curling into a ball, I hugged my knees and played around with the laces on my boots. I buried my face in my hands and sighed rather dramatically, enjoying the last peaceful moment before we had to mount our horses again and continue the expedition.

“Anything more you can tell me?”

“My dad owns a bakery, I help him out sometimes.” I sneered at my well presented fib. The last time I saw my father was when I was 7, and we all know that I can’t cook. People didn’t need further clarification of my emergency plan when it comes to kitchen accidents.

I’ll give you a hint.

It involves a bucket.

And water.

“Hazel?”

The sound of his voice calling my name made me lift my head up, my eyes readapting to the sunlight in the scenery again. It felt so strange to be in peace outside the walls again with people, who were actually alive and well with beating hearts. The open nature was stunning as always, never fails to impress me, even though I’ve worked hard to not show it.

“What?” My voice came out in a quite infuriated tone, as if I had just been woken up from a 5 minute nap.

Stefan narrowed those light-coloured orbs of his as he took a closer look at me and pointed light-heartedly to the side of my mouth.

“You’ve got something here.”

“What…?”

I raised my sleeve up to my face and started scrubbing wrathfully, in attempt to get it all off… whatever it was. Stefan observed me again; I could tell that his eyes were starting to soften a little as he smiled.

My figure flinched back instinctively as I watched his change of movement. Stefan’s hand swept through the air, reaching for my face. The cortisol levels natural rose in my body. But before I could even properly counter to his sudden arm moving towards my direction, I felt a tight pull on my hair which heaved me back.

Goddammit. Fucking plot twist out of nowhere.

It wasn’t just another one of those tugs Hanji would always pull whenever I put my hair in a high ponytail either. It was a forceful yank, dragging me up from my curled up position. I jolted and forced my foot down against the ground to steady myself, but instead I collided myself to the hard trunk of the tree. A curse slipped off my tongue at the jolting pain that rippled like a drop of water in my hip.

“What the-”

At least let me finish my entire curse. A soundless gasp escaped my lips, cutting me from my last word before I stumbled and landed on my back on the grassy fields.

“What in the actual fuck-” My face was directly facing the near to mid-day sun, which hung in the clear blue sky radiating off its usual blinding light. The shade was no longer over me as I’ve landed outside its boundaries. I raised my hand over my eyes as I squinted at the figure that stood beside, who looked down at me with their cold fucking eyes.

Why am I not surprised?

Levi folded his arms as he looked down at me. He must be feeling real proud, huh? What perfect goddamn timing to finally beat the shit out of me. My brows slowly formed into a scowl, slowly sitting up and rubbing the back of my neck grimly.

“What do you want?” I mumbled as I stabilized my squat on the ground. Of course, the corporal didn’t hesitate to pull that move on me again, tugging at my ponytail and pulling me up with one arm. The stinging sensation clawed all over my scalp as he dragged me up by my hair. Someone remind me to never again wear my hair in a ponytail when I’m in a 100 meter radius to this psychotic freak.

What a fucking douche.

Levi pulled me up beside him as I tried to yank away and elbow him off. I managed to claw onto his arm, the one pulling me by my hair, and slowly ripped it away from my head. In an instance like a flash of lightning, I saw the quick outline of his arm as he swung it over and grabbed onto the back of my neck collar. My hand reached out to block it off, but that plainly wasn’t enough.

I felt his firm grip pulling tightly on the back of my collar and started dragging me away in another direction away from the tree, far into the blinding sunlight.

 “Let her go!” Stefan’s demanding voice cut through my confused and irritated thoughts of the corporal’s actions. I felt so damn helpless, just getting dragged away like that. The corporal took note of the boy who was still underneath the tree in the shade, yelling at him. With one hard thrust, the corporal threw me onto the ground. I landed on my butt and barked at him through anger and pain.

Sitting there dumbly, I expected another abusive attack from the bipolar corporal, leaving behind another physical agonizing feeling. I enclosed both my hands over the top of my head, slowly comforting the stinging feeling left behind from before.

The sound of Levi’s footsteps strolling across the dirt path away from my sitting posture drew my attention, and my vision followed after his boots under my messy hair strands as he walked towards the direction of Stefan, who was still sitting under the tree, too stunned to move. Stefan’s face turned into a wrath expression as he locked his eyes on the closing Levi. I slowly pushed myself off the ground and ambled towards the corporal, who has now reached Stefan in the shade.

“Leave him-” My voice was hoarse and weak. And of course, none of them heard me. Walking off the pain in my backside, I started picking up the speed again, walking towards the corporal’s short figure below the sanctuary like shade served by the branches of the tree. The leaves rustled as another round of wind gusted past.

The sight of Levi reaching down and grabbing onto the young boy’s shirt collar really flicked a switch in me, angering me at his abnormal aggressive behaviour. I unnoticeably clenched my teeth, my jaw tightening as I watched Levi shove Stefan down against the trunk. A splash noise came into an audible level from here as Stefan dropped his cup onto the ground, splattering the dark coloured drink over himself and on the corporal’s boots. Levi’s head slowly dropped as his death glare turned to the speckles of coffee on his boots, clicking his tongue in absolute disgust.

Oh crap. Stefan’s dead.

I impractically stared at the now hunched over Levi next to Stefan’s ear, who was forced