With one swift move, I chucked my Balisong knife across the room. A smile spread across my face as I briefly examined the landing of the shiny, new blade at the back of my bedroom door. It was still pretty early in the morning, and there was just enough light for me to see that the tip pierced through the middle of the forehead of my inaccurate, hand-drawn portrait of the corporal. I quickly skipped over and pulled the blade out of the dark timber, looking at the shimmering, brand-new blade delightfully.

The knife felt so smooth, yet just the right heaviness in my hand. It was dainty and small; yet it was pretty badass, especially that signature clunking! sound whenever I flipped the blade around in a spinning motion. I navigated my thumbs over the perfect holes in the handles. It was just amazing how the Balisong felt so perfect in my grip.

The door booted open and forcefully came in contact with my knee, making me jump back in pain. Hanji’s happy face poked in casually. She smiled amusingly as usual, countering to my now peeved and wincing in pain expression.

“Oops! Sorry Hay-hay!” She beamed apologetically, scratching her head. Hanji tilted her head a little as she became aware of the little blade I was holding in my hand.

“Where did that come from?”

“Oh this?”

I raised the blade up to her face, right under her passionate pair of brown orbs. That obviously wasn’t enough, because she snatched the Balisong right out of my hand and examined it in wonderment.

“Woah! What’s this?” The inquiring squad leader started playing around with the bite handles.

“Oy! Be careful with that… don’t just forcefully pull it! Give it back!” I yelled and retrieved the blade from her rough handling, cleaning up the finger smudges on the edge with my flannel shirt.

She shifted back with her hands up in defence, smiling to my protective reaction.

“You treat that thing like it was your first born child!" She laughed heartily, "Anyways, where did you get that Hazel?”

I looked up as I continued rubbing the blade clean.

“Remember that knife I was looking for? The one Mike gave me for my birthday which I lost?” I watched her forehead crease as she recalled. “I found it again this morning behind my closet.” I smiled happily.

I practically turned the HQ building upside down, desperately looking for the brand new blade which had gone missing right after the night of my birthday. Who knew it was right behind the closet all this time? Maybe I should have looked a little harder…

I watched the brunette as she curiously observed my sketch of Corporal Levi, which was pinned on the back of the door. The lines were rushed and the only feature you could make out to resemble Levi was that stupid undercut hairstyle that took me ages to get the lines right. Not that I cared anyhow.

“Hazel,” She said in a serious disappointed tone, “You suck at drawing.”

 “Anyway,” I shifted the edge around in the light that streamed through the windows, getting off the topic about the drawing. “What brings you here?”

Hanji clasped her hands together excitedly as she remembered what she came here for. She immediately stepped away from my door where the drawing of the corporal was helplessly hanging there. The paper seemed to silently threaten to detach itself from the timber and float down to the ground any second now. Hanji’s eyes glistened behind those rectangular spectacles and her lips curled into a cheerful grin.

“Hazel,” She jumped over and threw her arm around my shoulders, making me stumbled for a second.

 “Since you’ve been so good lately, I’ve decided toooo…”

Hanji cocked her eyebrow as she came to a slight pause for a build-up on suspense. She honestly looked like one of those hosts from the Oscars, holding the envelope and pretty much pushing the group of audience to the edge of their seats. I let out a little chuckle, raising my eyebrows and patiently waited for her to finish her sentence.

“Invite you to clean the toilets with me!”

I pushed Hanji’s face away from me teasingly, rolling my eyes as I watched her stagger back.

“Alright, quit fucking with me.”

“Seriously,” Hanji’s eyes widen as she said, “This morning, Levi was putting everyone on cleaning duties. Good thing I got away quick enough…”

Well, duh! What more can you actually expect from Levi? Is it safe for me to say that that’s all there is to him? Just being a male version of a perfect housewife? I nodded my head in agreement as I snapped the knife shut with one hand and slid it into my pocket effortlessly. 

 “But anyways,” Hanji started again, grabbing my hand with both of hers.

“I have come to exclusively invite you to an experiment.”

The scientist’s eager eyes glistened when she leant closer to my face.

“A titan experiment.”

She grabbed onto my shoulders and gave them a light shook, as if trying to shake an agreement out of my mouth. I studied her wide and imploring brown eyes which reflected behind those clear lenses. She was always so passionate about titans. I can never imagine a Hanji that wouldn’t talk about titans every day. It just wasn’t … Hanji.

I pulled a tight smile on, scratching my head.

“I don’t see why no-” I started dispassionately but was immediately cut off when Hanji threw herself on me, pulling me into an airway-cutting bear hug.

She jumped up and down, still clinging onto me as she shrieked.

“Thank you Hay-hay! Thank you!”            

You could obviously tell that not one person from this HQ would have approved to go with her to her experiments, which resulted her sudden happiness-brimming-over-the-cup when I finally agreed. I nearly lost my balance as she roughly embraced me in the tight hug, struggling to pry her off from me.

Hanji finally let go, still smiling ever so brightly. She grabbed onto my arm and dragged me out of the room, too excited for the experiments that she didn’t even realize that I still needed to change out of my purple unicorn pyjama suit.

Oh boy.

 *****

The typical exhausted panting and the sound of teeth clamping together filled the entire campsite as the 7 meter class titan bounded on the ground in front of me tried to lean over and eat Hanji alive. The scientist was so small compared to the mouth of Chicacchironi (which I didn’t know how I managed to remember that stupid name Hanji came up with) that the titan could possibly swallow Hanji down in one gulp.

“Major! You’re standing too close!” Moblit Berner’s stressful voice cried out once again from the side at the enthusiastic Hanji, who happened to be standing right in front of a titan’s face. Hanji took no notice of Moblit as she clenched her hands into fists in front of her chest, passionately looking at the testing subject in front of her. She was way too hyper about this.

We were inside the confinements of tents with two titans pinned down and constrained. I stood beside some of the Garrisons, witnessing Hanji conducting more of her so-called experiments on these stupid creatures. So far, there were no useful signs that could serve as a lead for the existence of titans, or a clue to their mysterious actuality.

“Right, Chicacchironi, haven’t had breakfast yet… have you?” Hanji spoke happily to the 7 meter class who was sticking its huge tongue out, completely ignorant to that fact that this thing had tried to eat her just a few seconds ago.

 The brunette nodded happily at Chicacchironi and then walked over to Albert, which was the other testing subject beside Chicacchironi. Albert was a 5 meter class titan just as dumb and senseless as Chicacchironi, who was currently trying to wiggle after Hanji in another attempt to eat her whole.

“Don’t worry Albert, no need to be jealous. I haven’t forgotten about you.” Hanji grinned at Albert as she walked closer. She bent down towards the 5 meter class and I could immediately sense Moblit’s figure tense up behind her. Any day, Hanji could easily give Moblit a heart attack.

“Major! You’re standing too close!”

“Major! Be careful!”

“Major, please be concerned about your own safety!”

Hanji tilted her head in confusion when the 5 meter class Albert didn’t reply to her. The creature was restrained into a sitting position with buckles around its limbs and neck. Its mouth was slightly opened, gooey liquid slowly salivating out as it stared lifelessly at the ground. It didn’t look dead, but its activity level had gone way down. It was too uncommon.

“Hazel!” Hanji rotated around, her arms crossed as she turned to me for ideas.

I put my thumbs up in response and walked up to Hanji and her testing subjects.

Oh how long I’ve waited to be a part of Hanji’s experiments. I do partially find that her testing on titans was somewhat boring and time-consuming that leads to nothing at all. But watching Hanji try various ways, like trying to drown them or inflicting pain on them was really entertaining. A lot better than that stupid paperwork Levi always shoved in my face.

There’s no doubt, I’m a complete sadist in a way.

I took one quick glimpse at Albert, whose eyes glanced lifelessly down at the ground. That was quite unusual, considering that there were 2 people, a bunch of people I mean, standing right in front of it and yet it wasn’t violently trying to bite our heads off.

“Why don’t you try something?” Hanji encouraged as she pointed at Albert.

Hanji actually trusted me with her testing subjects, her titans. I watched her, just for her to confirm her statement again. Slowly and quietly walking up to the unresponsive creature, I hovered my hand over my set of blades on my sides of the maneuver gear and drew them out.  

“Wait… Hazel?” The scientist stood beside me, puzzled by my sudden actions.

I dashed forward through the air before she could stop me. Oh the urge to finally draw my blades on these creatures again was rushing through my blood. I know Hanji. Chicacchironi and Albert were way too valuable for her; she was way too protective of her titans to let me kill them. I wasn’t planning on doing so anyway; I just wanted to have a bit of fun.

 With one graceful jump, I leapt into the air and turned my blades to the eyes of Albert. The thick red liquid splashed onto my uniform as the blades came in contact with its eyelids. An inexpressible shriek escaped the 5 meter class titan’s mouth when I thrust my blades through its lids into the pupil. I landed on the creatures head, looking down at it screaming in pain.

A few Garrisons had to turn away, covering their ears as the painful howling continued. I jumped down and raised my foot, kicking the blades deeper through the skin of its eyelids and listened to its agonizing screams. Some of the Garrisons holding the buckles around Albert had to yank on tighter as Albert was aggressively struggling. I noticed how Chicacchironi beside Albert showed no sign of realization as its pitiful friend beside was wailing desperately.

 So titans don’t have emotions after all. They have no guilt for what they have done, or have no sympathy or compassion for their fellow peers suffering.

“There, Albert looks fine now.” I smiled as I slowly pulled my blades out of its sockets. Steam was already starting to emit into the atmosphere, a sign that the titan has started progress in its eyes regeneration. My turn was over now.

Hanji shook in her spot, her hands over her mouth as she watched Albert screaming in horror. She was trembling as if watching a close friend of hers dying on the battlefield. I think she was close to tears, watching it suffer in pain. Please take note that this was actually a titan we were dealing with.

“Major! Please keep yourself together!” Moblit said in a worried voice to the still shaking Hanji, who watched the trail of steam emitting from her subject.

 I looked down at my own blades. They were covered in the same red liquid, which was already starting to evaporate. Titans are pretty fascinating; I can see why Hanji is so obsessive about them.

“What’s going on here?” Both Hanji and I were startled by Commander Erwin’s voice behind us. We briskly turned around towards the stern voice. The blond commander crossed his arms as he creased his thick brows at both of us. Oh, and he even bought along the little shortie corporal, who appeared behind him with that same irritated facial expression as if a broomstick was stuck us his asshole.

“The expedition’s tomorrow,” Commander announced in a firm and unimpressed voice, “What in the world are you doing here? We have no time for this!”

Erwin’s eyes trailed away from the emitting steam down to my little figure, noticing my presence.

“Why are you here, Hazel?”

I was utterly speechless as I fumbled through my mind for a legitimate excuse. Actually, I didn’t know why I was here. Hanji invited me along and I thought it would have been fun. Plus, I heard about the cleaning duties Levi was handing out, and when it comes to cleaning, Levi would always pick on me.

Levi clicked his tongue in disappointment, rubbing his temples as he muttered.

“Both of them were supposed to be on cleaning duties this morning, until the idiot and shitty glasses ran off to play with the pixies, titans in this case.”

“Nobody has time for cleaning now. We need to find out more about these titans! This could help us with tomorrow’s expedition!” Hanji argued; her expression seriously dimming as the superiors halted her from her desire. I scanned the many faces around me, speechless and completely unconscious of what was happening or going to happen. Albert’s eyes had completely regenerated now. The steam which polluted the air had now stopped as the regeneration process was over.

Commander Erwin blinked, completely unmoved by Hanji’s words. He was as hard as a rock, which lasted him his position til today. I have the slightest respect for the commander, but he’s still not at the top of the list.

“Get ready for tomorrow’s expedition.” His voice was cold and strict as he put fourth his orders.

Hanji opened her mouth to argue, but closed it again after silence came out. She huffed, crossing her arms and turning away in defeat. I bit my inner cheeks and turned to Levi, who caught my hating glare and narrowed his eyes at me.

He so came just to get us to complete our duties. He should have just cleaned it himself if hates dirt and germs so much.

“Get moving idiots. There’s a whole floor waiting to be scrubbed.”

*****

Brushing a strand of hair away from my face, I kicked off my blankets and half rolled out of my bed. My legs were hanging off the side of the squeaky mattress and I wriggled my toes, which came in contact with the cold floorboards. I had not the slightest idea of what time it was of the night, but I just couldn’t get myself back to sleep. I knew it was night of course, by the moonlight which was streaming through the thin draperies of my window. Finally someone managed to get some hangings for the window; I needed my privacy you know.

I frowned a little as there was an uneasy sensation going around in my stomach. First it was just simply the hollow, empty filling of no food in there, and then the sound of loud grumbling started to kick in. I was hungry, alright. That stupid cleaning Levi sent me and Hanji down to do nearly made us both miss dinner. Luckily, this time Hanji was with me, so she taught me everything I needed to know and I didn’t have to re-clean everything to Levi’s standards.

God bless that girl.

I sat up from bed, brushing my hair back and shuffled through the corridors quietly in my fuzzy slippers. Time to sneak into the HQ kitchen and find whatever edible thing there is.

*****

I silently poked the food cabinet doors shut, praying that it won’t make the slightest squeak and ruin my perfectly planned escape strategy. Usually this cabinet had a lot more food in there, like bon bons or dinner leftovers sometimes. Someone must have realized food in here have been going missing, so now there was nothing left in the food cabinet except for a plain bag of carrots and a few strands of Rosemary herbs. Well, carrots will have to do for tonight.

Sticking the carrot tip between my teeth, I started my escapade of making it across the kitchen in complete silence, back to my room. The sound of my slippers made a small shuffling noise as it came in contact with the floorboards, but other than that, everything was as still as a picture.

I have been sneaking into the kitchen for food ever since my first day here. The dinners they serve for the Survey Corps are not half as shitty as the Training Corps, but still… they were small. I’m guessing our branch is a little low on money, since most of the tax money pays for expedition needs and not to mention… we lose a lot of people every now and then.

My shadow drifted across the kitchen inaudibly like a phantom’s. I’ve had quite a bit of experience sneaking around after curfew, so this wasn’t much of a hassle. Just that these few years I was doing it right beneath the military’s noses.

Quickly glancing around from the kitchen to the dining table ahead of me, I noticed something quite unusual. It was a bit hard to define in this dimness, but it almost looked like a dark lump on the seat. I slowly made my way into the dining room; quietly peering down at the figure or the ‘dark lump’ I was mentioning before. My eyes furiously adjusting in the dark as I was too determined to see who the heck was still up and working at this time of night, or early morning… whatever time it was. I held my breath, utterly stunned when I finally realized that the ‘dark lump’ I was directly staring at was the back of Corporal Levi’s.

I’m so fucking dead. I muttered to myself. My corporal was going to catch me out stealing food from the kitchen red-handed.

A few papers spread out on the table caught my attention, and even though it was pitch black as a crow and I should be dashing back to my room like I was never here, I still attempted to lean over and squint at the tiny writing. Levi’s breathing was light and even, a clear sign that he was asleep. The back of his figure was hunched down, his head buried in his folded arms on the table.

Levi really takes work too seriously. I’ve noticed that he never takes any breaks at all, only if it was winter season and I was building an army of snowmen outside if it happens to snow. Then he’ll scuffle away from his desk to shoot down my army before strolling casually back to his office.

He was going to get sick if he continues to be exposed to the coldness of the night like this. And that thin t-shirt of his doesn’t help the case either.

I wordlessly peered down at his sleeping state, expecting that any minute he’d jump from up his seat and spit insults at me. But it never happened. Humanity’s greatest soldier has fallen asleep, right in front of me. It’s scary how big of a difference the awake or sleep state is for a person. When Levi’s awake, I’d better check twice if the floors of the hallways are sparkling clean or he’ll drag me out of my room to finish the job. But now that he’s asleep, he doesn’t look too hateable. He actually looked peaceful in his sleep. I sighed in the darkness, shaking my head at myself as I caught myself thinking of all these stupid things revolving around the corporal. 

Goddammit...