21st september 

we landed in milan airport, yoona informed me that there were reporters and fansites here...yay. its all cause of harry and maya. how dare he cheat on me, what did i do to deserve that? i mean ...come on.

the doors to the exit opened and we began to get blinded. i was wearing a black top , jogging bottoms , a bucket hat and sunglasses to cover the crying. i dont have a face mask with me , which is fucking great.

we began walking and the security team closed in on me again , I'm so tired of this shit.

" why did he cheat"

good question , id like to know that too

" is it true"

clearly fucking looks like it

" diamond we will get her for you"

sis , please dont.she is human too , a bitch , but still human.literally YG's child

the millions of comments and question hurt, okay. it sucks , i dont wantpeople to know about me and how i was cheated on..it's embarrasing.

we did eventually get into the car and that was when yoona briefed me on the current situation.

yoona: " so , i won't lie about anything. here is the truth. the media is covering it like insanity. its everywhere and a lot of celebrities are probably going to mention it(Eg you tubers). some "tea" channels have mentioned it , radio stations have talked about it...we have removed most of them , thank god. fans trending "#harryisover party" and "#mayapartyisover"is trending spice the images dropped and it has over a million tweets..soo umm yeah. you are being seen as the victim and everyone is standing up for you.im so sorry it had to come out this way.just as we began to like him too.

me: uh huh.

i looked down and yoona looked at her laptop

yoona: but um.. back to business. we will drop the india dates tomorrow, so yeah. the government were very persuasuasive on us doing it , of course you know why , for the politics. but we will drop them and they will be on sale in three days time , two dates .also we are waiting for a statement to release...

me: here"  diamond is aware fo the current situation portrayed by the media , she wishes for utmost privacy and respect for her private life. as a company we will be ensuring her personal life remains as hers only. please refrain from spreading speculative articles and information. diamond has confirmed to have broken up with her previous boyfriend over what has happened after the concert when she and a group of her close friends were socialising privately. diamond is in milan and her staff wish for her to not be disturbed as she is currently recording for her next album.thank you and we apologise for the inconvenience."

she sighed and nodded.

around five minutes later she told me that the statement was released.

i sighed and rested my head on the car door.

driver: ma'am i apologise for disturbing you , however despite being surrounded by you bodyguards cars...they are fans and news sites trailing us.

me: ah , are you new to this job?

driver: no ma'am .but it is my first time having such a famous celebrity with me.

me: dont worry sir , you will get used to having people trailing you. we will deal with them later, it is because i am currently a hot topic for the paparazzi.

driver: ah , i see. i heard about it . my son is a huge fan of you , i have never seen him so riled up over someone else. he told me about it.

me: ah i see.

driver: ma'am we have arrived at the hotel , it was an honour driving for you.please may i take a photo to show my son?

me: you are the nicest driver i have ever had, thank you so much.of course you can take a photo.i will also give you a signed album to hand him.

we took the photo and i gave him the signed album before leaving the car.

he was right , there were people waiting for us at the hotel too, what the fuck.one by one , i watched as my gaurds frantically surrounded me , we walked into the hotel and were guided to our rooms.

i went to my room and locked the doors , screaming echoing from the street. how the fuck am i going to get to sleep.

i went and took a shower and i have this habit of always coming out of the shower , putting on clothes and then leaving the bathroom. so i am never in the hotel room naked or with a robe on, its just  a habit i picked up.

my shower lasted over an hour because ..lets just say i was emotional, how could harry do that , like seriously..with his ex who cheated on him? how fucked up is that. i cried , a lot and to be honest i needed it. once i was done and had put on clothes, i opened the door and screamed. 

me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

there were fans in my fucking room.

the balcony window was wide open and they began to scream , they got out their phones and began recording me , i started crying . my scream warned the security gaurds who were right outside my door, the broke the door down and ran to me , the picked me up and took me to another room whilst i watched other security gaurds begin to drag the fans away. i sat on the bed in the new room and begin to hysterically cry. yoona ran inside along with david .

yoona: sweetie , im so sorry . the police have arrested them.

david : for security reasons , we will now have armed gaurds in your room 24/7...i am not risking this again.

i wiped my tears and looked at them dead in the eye , the other staff looked down.

me: please tell me that it will stop one day...i can't do it any more, i really cant.

i got up and left, tears falling down my cheeks.

i was in the hallway.

me: security team one , please escort me , i am heading out.

i got the security team and we left through the back exit and they drove me to a park. i sat on a bench , it was literally empty and it was around 6am.

i opened my phone and saw the missed calls.

harry [76 missed calls]

harry[13 voicemails]

harry[89 messages]

bighit artist group chat [323 messages]

namjoon hyung [2 missed calls]

jimin hyung [3 missed calls]

heunging kai hyung [13 missed calls]

i sighed and called him, i do need to talk to him someday.

harry:hello?eunha?

me: yup , its me

harry: i-i-i

me: still here mate

harry: are you okay , the videos from the fans who were in your room are going viral

me: im fine , but why did you leave me so many missed calls and texts. like , we are over, i dont want to remain in contact with you.

harry: but i do.i love you and you know that.

me: but you kissed her in  a park , came to my house after i had collapsed ,lied about where you were and when you arrived.i asked for loyalty and honesty , you broke both..soooo.

harry: i know , i know. i am getting on a flight now , i am going to milan fashion week , i was already invited , but i hope to talk to you there..please let me talk to you then...please.

me: i am sorry , but it is what it is..nothing more , nothing less.

harry: okay , i'll talk to you tommmorow...but please be careful.ensure there are gaurds in your room and all over the corridor.i love you

i began crying

me: what dont you understand for fucks sake. you cheated on me in public with someone else in the same industry as me. someone who i compete with on a global scale.someone who cheated on you and you cheat on me with them....pathetic.listen , i dont want to talk to you anymore and please understand that i do not want to remain in contact with you.goodbye. im sorry for not being enough for you

i ended the call and got up , me and the security team walked to the van and we headed back to the hotel. it was emptier now and police were there to control the crowd. i still took the back entrance into the hotel , so i wouldn't be seen.

once i was upstairs i was a changed person.i called for a meeting with yoona and david and those back at seoul.i own a multi billion business and practically an industry.

the meeting was quite interesting , we established and finished many things

-BTS season greetings 

- txt season greetings

- a bighit artist seasons greetings which we would organise once im back in seould

-bts mv shooting

-map of the soul:shadow

-my comeback

-bts comeback

-txt next years comeback.

-award shows.

the meeting lasted around 6 hours and was productive. for my comeback , i had planned since january this year that it would be darker and more mysterious.once we were done i headed straight to my room

i got changed and we headed out for the giorgio armani show.

the show was somewhat appalling.the models were clearly new and there walk was so distracting  , some of them lacked basic posture to the point were i nearly dug to my own eyeballs to prevent myself from watching..no joke. the clothes were fairly decent this season , but nothing too exiting. once the show was over i got up and left , i didn't even wait to talk to anyone , that show nearly caused my death.after i left , i went straight to the hotel. i recorded a few songs and then i  fell asleep.

22nd september 

today was quite important. 

i had the BOSS show first.

the clothes were okay , but there was so much smoke i had to stop myself from coughing.i didn't really wait for anyone once the show was over , as soon as the models w ere done , i got up and left. also when i left the hotel , it was a pain trying to get from place to place, honestly i wish there was a way to get around where i was easier..

the next show i had was FILA

this show is very important to me becuase of the contract that they have with its . of course i need to be present and be there in the cameras point of view.

the show was amazing , honestley it was , the modeles were really good and nothing bothered me at all. only how the seats were arranged , but other than that it was a beautiful show. as soon as the show was over , the CEO and the managing director ran towards me . we spoke for a a few minutes about the future collaboration (with BTS) and the impacts it will have. after i spoke with them , i headed out and went to get some food.me and my entourage for that day went to a italian restaurants near the venue and ate.it was then that yoona broke more news to me.

yoona: so...ummm. you know how we thought the person who first wrote about it was from that guy..

me: yeah , say it . no sugar coating.

yoona: so its acctually that reporter.the same one who accused BTS of plagiarism at the conference , who keeps mentioning your personal life.

me: who got him to do it.

yoona: we are suspecting the produce of mnet.

me: you know those files you have.... the YG and seungri ones have lardy been distributed right? prepare the mnet files for the police.

yoona: oh thank goodness. i have been waiting for this moment.

me: also , prepare a law suit. it is time.

yoona: yes ma'am

i stopped eating and sat back , i haven't even ate more than a slice of pizza. how disgusting is it that a reporter would do that.

me: yoona.... prepare the paper work to by cube entertainment and prepare the paperwork on YG's truth on blackpink.

yoona: i have never been happier, thank you so much.

me: there will only be one copy , and that will resonate at my house office as soon as we are back. all other traces will be deleted.

she smiled brightly and nodded

once they had finished eating , i paid and we left.we went back to the hotel and i got changed for the next show.the next show was gucci and a few of my friends are going there...as well as harry.

once we arrived the venue , i was taken to my seat and a few minutes later the show began. i was front row , sitting next to seolhyun from AOA.

the show itself ...was interesting...i had a lot of questions to raise and i was very impressed by the model who decided to pretest against the company.but umm , yeah..interesting is just how i would describe it....i doubt i will be willing to come again next year after the .."stunt" that they pulled with the concept this year...hmm..not too sure , but it will not be forgotten. 

once the show was over , i spoke to a a few designers and to seolhyun , andrew garfield and jared leto (other people who were present at the show) .then as i was leaving i saw kai from exo , who was going to be announced as an ambassador in a few days. he was grateful for the opportunity he had and thanked me for giving the gucci PR team an "idea" to choose him after i rejected their deal for jimin and taehung. because , after all , it is all seven members , or none of them (when it come to sponsorships like this).

as i was leaving , i heard my name a few times..it was pretty clear who it was , i sped up and walked away as kai decided to go and 'accidentally ' block his way for a minute or so .it was a good plan and i left , never to be put in a situation like that. 

after the show , i went straight to the airport and i was back on a plane.

as i mentioned previously , we added dates to the tour , dates india. it was mainly for political reasons that we were ...'persuaded' to add dates in india , but it did work out well as both dates sold out. the only problem is that i have a day in india , the next day in paris , a day in india and then back to paris fashion week. i don't know if i can cope with it