***

"Four rounds," He thought out loud and you continued running your fingers through his hair, "And not once did we use the bed."

"That would've been predictable," You smirked, and he nodded in agreement, letting his eyes flutter closed as you kept going, "And for me, it was more like nine."

He had a slightly mischievous smile creep up on his face as he turned to you, his eyes lidded.

"I prefer even numbers."

He whispered it against your lips, and you leaned forward, kissing him, before he trailed down your chest with wet kisses, pushing the robe you had thrown on to the sides of you, exposing yourself to him again. Your legs spread at their own accord as he got further down and you watched him as he took his time, going painfully slowly, but the two of you knew you were sensitive in the early hours of the morning. He placed a chaste kiss right on your button and you arched your back. He watched you with dark eyes, relishing in the fact that he was the only one who could make you feel this way as he continued. He seemed to latch onto you when your hand went to his hair, tugging on it, and pulling a groan out of him that vibrated in you deep. It didn't take long for your tenth to build and adding his fingers only drove you there that much faster.

"Come on, baby, I've got you," His voice was rough and scratchy, just like his beard on your thighs, "Cum for me," And that's all it took for you to see white again, clenching around his fingers as he muttered praises, "Good girl, just like that, there you go."

He slowly took his fingers away as you came down from your high and you closed your eyes again when you saw him clean them off.

"Depraved." You teased with a half-smile, still breathing heavily, and he laughed.

"Only with you, doll," He crawled up to capture your lips with his, letting you taste yourself on his tongue, and then whispering, "Only with you."

He laid on his side next to you, kissing your temple before burying his face in your hair. His arms were around your chest and you held them in your hands, holding him close.

"It's dangerous." You whispered, wondering if maybe he had fallen asleep since it was about four in the morning by now.

"I know." He whispered back with a sigh.

"And you're okay with that?" You raised your eyebrows, looking to the side even though you couldn't see him from where he was spooning you.

"Hell no," He told you seriously, making you frown, and then he kissed the back of your head, "But I love you and I know if you say you have to do this, you mean it."

"I love you too."

"And you have to do this?"

You paused, truly wanting to give him the most honest answer you could, and not wanting it to be said in haste or with him thinking you didn't consider everything he said.

"I do."

"Then that's all there is to it," He let out a deep breath, "Because I'll support you and do whatever you need me to as long as I'm alive."

You turned in his arms and cupped his cheeks with a sad smile on your face before leaning in to kiss him sweetly. He pulled you in closer by your lower back and kept kissing you lazily, no place to go, and loving having you in his arms.

He knew there was always the chance it'd be the last time and he promised himself a long time ago never to let any moment with you go to waste.

The dawn soon broke and the two of you were fast asleep by then, blanketed by the golden sun. You did eventually wake up to the smell of breakfast and you snuggled back into bed, the late morning summer a warmth in the apartment, but not too harsh today.

You yawned loudly, making him chuckle, and grabbing his attention before padding his bare feet over to you with a couple of plates in his hands. He was dressed in only a white tee shirt and boxers, your favorite combo on the soldier, and he sat at your feet before you bent your knees to sit up criss cross. He leaned over and kissed you,

"Mm, good morning." He smiled and you hummed in response.

"Couldn't sleep?" You asked, swiping a piece of toast and biting into it.

"Didn't want to." He shrugged, tearing into a piece of bacon and then taking a drink of orange juice.

"Why's that?" You asked lightly, but both of you knew.

He constantly worried and you being back in New York was a relief, but his protective switch flicked on the moment he found out you were here. This apartment wasn't secure like the tower and you're wanted dead by more than a few. He didn't know what happened in Paris, but he knew enough that if it made you run, it was with good reason.

"When do you leave?" He asked back instead, watching you from behind his cup.

"Tomorrow. Early."

"And when will you be back?" He ventured, his tone light and not trying to push, but his curiosity was growing with the mysteriousness of this mission.

You pursed your lips, glancing away from him, and tensing a bit. He noticed, but he didn't mention it or change the subject because he wanted to know too badly. He wanted to mark that date on his mental calendar to count down the days – no, hours until you returned. He wanted a day to look forward to and if it passed without your return, he needed to know when he could step it.

"Not sure." You told him honestly, but his jaw clenched, and you knew it wasn't going to satisfy him.

"That's not good enough, sweetheart."

"I know," You nodded, taking his hand in yours as he let out a frustrated sigh, "And I wanna say, a week, tops, but it's far and it's complicated and it's-"

"Dangerous." He finished, getting really tired of that word coming back around when it came to your safety.

"And I don't want you to come looking for me," You told him bluntly and he nodded a few times, looking away, "Steve," You warned, and his attention snapped to your face, "I'm serious."

"I won't." His voice was a fraction higher than normal and you gave him a look.

"You're lying."

"I'm not!"

"Steve, come on," You pleaded, "You wouldn't even know where to start."

"So, tell me where you're going." He smiled cheekily and you tried to be annoyed, but your smile gave you away.

"I'm already their target, I don't need them coming after you or any of the other guys," You pulled away to tighten the sheet around you, "And I won't have that on my mind while doing this."

"Clear headed," He nodded, "I understand."

"You do?" You cocked an eyebrow, wondering what suddenly changed.

"Sweetheart, I don't wanna be another burden for you to carry," He lifted your hand to kiss the back of it, "I want to ease them and if that means staying in the dark, going out of my mind," He added with a chuckle and you smiled before he continued, "Then so be it."
"This isn't a goodbye, okay?" You ignored your wet eyes and he smiled softly.

"I know." He laughed shakily and you lunged forward to kiss him, forgetting the sheet that slipped down your middle.

"I love you more than anything," You told him honestly, "And I promise I'll fight with everything I have to return to you."

He bumped his forehead against yours, his hand cupping your cheek so gently, and he squeezed his eyes shut, willing his own dark thoughts away.

"You do that," He smirked, and you smiled, "Because I don't wanna live in this world without you."