Thomas was late.

Only 5 minutes... but still late. I tapped my fingers against my kneecap in anxiety.

It was a nice morning, but I did have to have a sweatshirt on. There were many students milling around but none of them were Thomas.

At one point I saw Alexander pass by looking determined as ever, with a megaphone tucked under his arm.

Then I saw Thomas. He was walking with John Laurens and making large and dramatic hand gestures as he spoke. Thomas saw me, gave a wave, said a goodbye and came over to me on the bench.

"Hello, Thomas." I gave him a small smile.

"Hey." He looked distracted. He kept looking off in the distance.

"So... what'd you want to talk about?"

"Right." He turned towards me and his chocolate brown eyes locked with mine. "I have a confession."

"Go on..."

"James... I now this isn't ideal and you probably aren't going to like anymore for saying this but I'm ma-"

"Attention!!!! Can I have everyone's attention??!??!" Alexander was standing up on another bench a little ways from us screaming into his megaphone. An embarrassed John Laurens sat on the bench his face in his hands. 

Thomas and I exchanged quick glances.

"So has all of you know I broke up with Eliza, and it wasn't her, it was because I was cheating on her."

Everybody was quiet besides the chirping of robins.

I looked back over at Thomas, and he was staring  at Alexander with a stern expression. He knew this was happening. He knew Alexander was cheating. But with who?? I had so many questions. I didn't even know that they had broken up.

"And," Alexander continued, "it was with..." he took a deep breath. He actually looked like it pained him to say this.  "John Laurens."

What?

Holy shit.

Alexander was gay? Or bi or pan or something?? He didn't just like girls??

"Yes, I'm bisexual. Okay, thanks." He hopped down from the bench, grabbed John's hands, pulled him up and kissed him.

Omg.

Thomas let out a breath he was holding.

He knew.

I guess it wasn't my business and Thomas and Alexander were friends but still.

If Alexander was bi then why did he make fun of me? He called me a faggot any time he saw me. 

It was all too confusing and the two were still making out. Thomas was looking at me again.

"Well what I was going to say doesn't really top that..." he mumbled.

"What? Thomas, what is it?" I took his hands off his lap and held them.

"It's just... I think.. maybe, just that you should maybe break up with Charles."

I dropped his hands. That's not what I was expecting.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I was getting frustrated.

"Because he's not good for you-"

"I already tried! I know he's not good- he won't let me break up with him!" I stood up and scanned my surroundings hoping no one was listening to me loose my temper.

"James-"

"No... please, just leave me be." I began to turn, leaving him there alone.

"Maybe you could try again," he barely said.

"And after I do that what to you suggest I do?"

"Date someone else."

"Who would I even date?" My cheeks were on fire. I didn't like arguing with him and not in public.

"Me." He said it so softly I thought I'd imagined it.

"What?"

"You could date me..."

I couldn't believe this was actually happening. He liked me back. Oh my god.

"I- what? I couldn't..." I couldn't think straight. My mind was foggy and jumbled.

"You couldn't date me? Well why not?" He was standing now too.

"Your you. Your just so, so-"

"What?" His hand was on my shoulder, and he looked so hurt. I was hurting him, I wasn't trying to. This is just what I'd wanted, what kept me awake day-dreaming about at 4 a.m.

"Your perfect. And I'm not," I muttered.

"James, you are so perfect..." he was getting closer.

Oh shit.

I couldn't do this now.

I broke away from him.

"I have to go." I turned and ran off.

I may of just ruined my only chance at happiness.

//kind of a short chapter but don't worry James didn't loose his only chance at happiness. :) thanks for reading it means a lot. The next chapter I have planned is going to be a lot. The length and the events that take place. Take care of yourselves, love ya //