"You look good, my love." Rico kissed me deeply in the mouth and ran his hands down my sides. He pulled back and looked into my eyes, reading them, and then kissed me again. He pulled me closer. "Real good..." he mumbled into my ear, and I shook a little in his arms.

It had been a while.

I smiled shyly and leaned into him. I wanted him to hold me longer. I missed it. Lately, he had been all business all the time.

Like Remmey.

Rico moved back to look at me from head to toe.

"Damn Rico," Ruby snapped. I forgot she was even there. I forgot any of them were there. "You just fucked up her face." Ruby looked annoyed. And not just with Rico for smearing the makeup that she had spent the last forty-five minutes on, but annoyed period.

We were all on edge right then.

Ruby stood back and eyed me, then moved in to fix what Rico had just messed up. Rico waited until she was almost finished and then stepped close to me again. The heat from his body jumped off onto mine. He slipped his left hand down my lowcut top and adjusted my breast, pinching my nipple before taking his hand back out. "You know what this does to me," he growled and ran his right hand down the outside of my top, hooking his fingers into the top of my skirt.

"Damn Ruby," Rico licked his lips and didn't take his eyes off me. "You did one hell of a job." He took me all in once again. "One hell of a job." He looked back at Remmey, who nodded, but didn't really look my way. Rico slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. "I'ma take you out of this later," he mumbled in my ear and slid his fingers across my bare skin. Then he gripped my backside and kissed me again, this time smearing the lipstick even worse.

"What the fuck!" Ruby shouted, grabbing a tissue and pushing Rico out of the way. "I'm not doin' this shit all night, nigga'." She wiped my face roughly and started applying a heavier, darker coat of lipstick. After she was done, she eyed me again and decided that I needed more blush.

"She look like a ho," Remmey said so quiet that we almost didn't hear it, but at the same time we all heard him loud and clear. Rico stopped grinning at Ruby long enough to take a second look at my face, and Ruby slammed the brush that she had just picked up down, before turning to face Remmey. "She the only one around here that don't look like all you other bitches."

Remmey said it so matter-of-factly that he could have been saying that the sky was blue. But the fact that he said anything at all made Ruby settle down immediately.

"The fuck you want me to do then?" she asked more calmly, clearly not willing to test Remmey the same way she got off on testing Rico. "You said make her look like she belong over there, now you sayin' make her look like she ain't like nobody else. Which one is it?"

Remmey gave Ruby a steady gaze, but didn't say anything else.

Ruby turned back to me and annoyance returned to her face. "Jazz, you mess my shit up one more time, you redoin' it ya mutha. fuckin. self."

Ruby didn't look at Rico or Remmey after she said that. She knew damn well that she would redo my face as many times as they told her to, and I knew it, too. We all had to do our part, and right then her part was to make me look good enough for Frank to forget who the hell I was...or to not give a damn.

I fought the urge to glance over at Remmey.

Two weeks ago, when Rico came to me with a plan, I wanted to say no...but I didn't.

I thought that I couldn't say no. To any of them.

One week ago, when I started looking how I was feeling, like I wasn't sure if I could go through with it, Remmey came to the house again and asked me to go for another walk. Again, we walked the long way around the block, real slow through Pinemont.

Again, I tried not to look as scared as I felt.

Remmey felt it.

"Jazz...you see how they don't fuck wit' me?" Remmey made a point to slow down and look one man dead in the eye. Then he nodded to him. The man nodded back. I recognized Frank right away. He was second over Pinemont before Rico took over.

From what I knew, he was also the one who had been messing up our money. After Ruby's girls got the cut wrong, Pinemont stopped buying from us and started setting up their own thing, trying to put everything back the way it used to be. Pinemont never fully bought into Rico's "block" stuff anyway. They were just not organized enough to do anything about it.

But all that changed as soon as Frank started all his "they killin us out here!" rants. "They not tryna work wit' us, they killin' us dead in the streets like dogs. We be better off workin' wit' tha ma' fuggin po-lice than wit' deez niggas."

I heard him say that out of his own mouth with my own ears.

And people listened.

And they looked like they were about to do something...stupid.

There was a lot about Frank that reminded me of Wally B. A lot. I thought about Wally B every time I watched Frank talk that talk, and even then I knew...he had to go. I knew it before anybody else said it. You don't want a man like that against you, threatening to team up with anyone, and especially not the PIGS, against you. I knew, just by watching him, listening to him, that there was no way he would ever be with Rico the same way that we were. Sam, who used to run Pinemont before we took over, was Frank's family.

To be honest, I was surprised that they left Frank alive when they took everybody else out. Of course, I never said that to them. For the most part, I always kept my mouth shut about everything that I knew and everything that I saw. Including the fact that, at some point, Frank would have to be dealt with.

Wally B taught me that.

"Jazzy, baby..." I stopped walking and looked at Remmey. I never thought I would hear him call me that again.

Remmey took my hand and kept walking.

He was never one to stand still on the wrong side of town too long.

"You..." he looked over at me, reading the desperation in my eyes, and let go of my hand. "Ruby...she do anything for the family. Anything." Remmey looked back over at me. "But some things...some things only you can make right, Jazzy." He looked into my eyes. "This one of those things." He lifted my chin up when I dropped my eyes. "You have to decide for yourself if you want to do this. Nobody forcin' you to do nuthin', Jazzy Baby..." He looked at me like nobody ever would, and to let him know if they tried. "You decide on your own...how far you willing to go to protect your own..."

I looked into Remmey's eyes and thought about Claire. If Frank ever took over, he would hurt everyone close to Remmey first, before he did anything else. He would definitely hurt Claire. The first thing anyone in Pinemont ever knew about Claire was that she had sliced Frank's little sister's face...and that she was Remmey's daughter, so there was nothing he could do about it.

"Take away a man's ability to protect his own and it's only a matter of time before he start tryna move you out the way." Wally B said that to me a long time ago. He was talking about The People and The Movement, but it applied to everything. I could see it everywhere I looked from that point on.

Especially right there, right then.

Frank had to go. Before he hurt us, before he hurt Remmey.

Before he hurt my sister.

"Jazzy..." Remmey looked deep into my eyes and read everything that I would have never in a million years told him was stressing me. "Nobody sharin' you. Rico still want you, don't want nobody else touchin' you but him." He paused for a long time and our eyes locked, but he didn't bring what happened between us up. I was glad. "He still love you, Jazz. This...just bidness, Jazzy Baby. Just bidness. It have to be done."

I knew he wouldn't say anything else to me after that, until I said something first.

"I'll do it, Remmey," I quickly cut in before the silence could crash back down around me. This was the most that he had talked to me in weeks. I didn't want him to shut me back out again. I needed him, all of him. Everything about him was what I needed.

And I didn't realize it until he was gone.

Suddenly, Remmey grabbed me and kissed me. A strong, deep kiss. Like he meant it. Like he used to kiss me when we first met. My knees got weak and he quickly let me go. We stared at each other for a minute, and then we kept walking. Neither one of us ever brought the kiss up again, and by the time we got back to the house, it was back to Remmey still hating me and me still pretending like I could breathe without him.

"Jazz." Lola snapped her fingers in my face and brought me back to the present.

Even she had come back to protect her own. Once you were a part of Rico's family, I noticed, it wasn't so easy to separate yourself from it. I couldn't tell exactly why that was, but I felt the pull on me, too. It was like...they were all I had, and I didn't have anywhere else to go.

So of course, I would do it.

I would do whatever I needed to do to stay with my family.

"Hell you starin' at, girl?" Lola looked back at Remmey, and then at me. I didn't even realize that I had been staring at Remmey in a daze, thinking about our last kiss.

I blinked and quickly dropped my eyes. I didn't want anyone to see the truth in them.

That for Remmey...

I would have done anything to keep him from sending me back home.

Anything.

"You ok, girl?" Lola stepped closer to me and put her hand on my face. Right after, Ruby brushed her hand away and moved Lola to the side.

Before Ruby could even get back to my makeup, though, Rico sauntered back over to us from his sidebar with Chris and started groping me again. This time, I was fully aware of everyone else in the room, and that all eyes and minds were on me.

That night, everything fell on me.

Rico kissed me in a way that only Rico could kiss me until he had my full attention. "You look good, my love." He ran his hands down my sides. "Only a fool would give a fuck who you are, looking like that. He won't turn you down." Rico kissed my face, and then my lips. I turned red when he touched me, and I knew he could feel me open up to him. He always knew exactly when he hit the right spot. When he found it, he finally stepped out of Ruby's way, satisfied that I was now open for whatever he needed me to do.

I read that. All over his face.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Stop making her red, Rico. I can't tell what fucking color I need to match her."

I blushed even deeper. I hadn't been touched in a long time, and every time Rico stepped near me, I realized how much I missed...what I used to have. From Rico and Remmey.

They both iced me out at the same time.

I needed Rico home.

I needed him with me. Not out all the time. Always business. I hated that when I was with Remmey. That was the whole reason I chose Rico.

And now here Rico was, doing the exact same thing.

The loneliness was...something that I knew I wouldn't be able to do for very long.

I thought sometimes about that smell coming out of the kitchen when Lola and Helena would mix the heroin. The smell that Remmey quickly stopped me from breathing in too deep. I could see why he made me put my mask back on. Every time I got a certain feeling...that smell would always come back to me.

It never left me.

And even though I hadn't smelled it since, I never stopped wanting to.

It soothed me.

It numbed me.

At a time that I had no idea what was waiting for me around every single corner. It would float past my memory sometimes, right when the loneliness became too much.

I wanted that feeling back.

To not care.

About anything.

I blinked suddenly, also remembering Remmey's quiet threat when he caught me breathing too deep around the junk that he would be the one to deal with me if his product ever came up missing, not Rico, and I felt...powerless. There was nobody around me that I was completely safe with.

Nobody.

And there was nothing that I could do about it.

It broke me. I had never been safe. My whole life, I had never been safe.

Ruby immediately saw the change in my face. She looked over at Rico, who was now talking to Rah, and then at Remmey, who was watching all of us, his blank expression hard to read as usual. Only Lola was still fully paying attention to me and Ruby, and she saw me blink, too.

"Jazz," Ruby gripped my arm tightly and got right in my face. "You better not cry." She looked over at Rico again. "Suck it the fuck up."

She quickly let go of my arm and went back to dusting powder across my face when both Rico and Rah looked over at us.

"Do not let these niggas make you cry," she whispered. "This business. Not love." She gestured with her perfectly shadowed eyes to every man there with us. "All this, Jazz. Bidness." She looked over at Rico and shook her head. "Soft ass gone get us all killed if you don't get the fuck wit' it," Ruby whispered even quieter while she lined my lips. "Ain't no love."

She looked dead into my eyes.

"Do what the fuck you have to do, and then go home to whoever the fuck," she gestured again with her eyes toward Remmey, and then toward Rico, "waitin' for you when you get home." She held my gaze. "It don't matter which one of these niggas waitin' for you, Jazz. They all the same." She glance from Rico to Remmey to Rah, and then back to Rico. "They all the exact same."

I nodded and looked back at Remmey.

He smiled.

Ruby stopped messing with my face and finally put her brush down.

"She look good, Ruby. Jazz, you ready?" I nodded and followed Remmey out the door. Before anyone else could come out behind us, Remmey leaned in and gave me a soft kiss. He was confusing me more and more every time he did that. Then he hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Nobody sharin' you, Jazz."

He pulled back to look into my eyes, knowing that it hurt like hell to think that Rico must not want me as much as he used to, no matter what Remmey said, if he was willing to let Frank...do what he wanted to do with me. "This just bidness, ya heard? He still want you." He ran his hand softly down my arm. "He still want you. Huh bruh..."

I nodded and didn't answer. It was the same thing that Ruby had just said to me, and I decided that I just...needed to stay ready for whatever. I watched Rico walk out the door, grinning as usual, with Chris in front of him and Rah behind him.

Rico saw me watching them and walked over to me. Remmey stepped out of the way. "You ready, my love?"

I nodded.

Rico gave me a once over and adjusted my breasts again. I figured he just wanted to put his hands down my shirt one more time when he lingered there for a minute before pulling his hands out and resting them on my hips.

"Don't forget you're mine, my love." My eyes widened and I couldn't control the surprise on my face. I thought this was the beginning of him passing me on to the next one. "Don't ever forget whose you are." I nodded and he grinned dangerously. "You know I don't like nobody touching what's mine."

I nodded and looked away. I did know that. That's why I never told him about the doctor. Somehow...what Remmey and I did that night was...different. Remmey knew it, and I knew it, too. Even before it went wrong. That's why the doctor knew that he could do what he did to me, and that I would never tell. He knew that he could do it, and that nothing would be done to him about it.

Only to me.

If anyone ever found out.

I was the only one who would be punished for that. Any of that. All of that. Harshly, if what I had seen in Rico so far could be believed. Rico watched my thoughts, like they were passing words across my face, but I didn't let him read them. I blanked my face out like Remmey always did and held Rico's gaze with my own. I could never let him know about what happened between Remmey and me, or between the doctor and me.

Rico's smile changed when he realized that he couldn't tell exactly what I was thinking, but he never stopped grinning. "This has to be done, my love. There's no other way." He slipped his hand up my skirt, between my legs, and I opened them for him.

I wanted him to come home. To me. I would have done anything for him to just come home.

"My love," he looked into my eyes and watched my reaction to his touch, "I'm away too much." He read the sadness all over me. "I know what you need, my love, and if this goes well, everything will change." I nodded and he kissed me. "I promise."

I nodded again and blushed when I felt myself involuntarily clench up when the fingers that he slipped into my panties brushed against me. "Show him why I won't ever let you go." His eyes locked with mine. "And then bring this," he hooked his finger and hit my spot. I grabbed his wrist tightly and bounced up onto my toes. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn't care who was watching. "Bring this home to me, my love." He stroked me and then took his time sliding his hand back out from under my skirt. "All mine." He kissed my cheek. "Fine as wine."

I had learned quickly that he liked people watching him just as much as he liked to watch.

Rico grinned when I shivered and begged for more with my eyes. "Later, my love." He looked around. "I'm not coming with you, but we have eyes on you."

Ruby and Lola walked past like they were heading somewhere important and didn't look over at either one of us. Then Rah left and headed in the opposite direction. I looked over at Remmey and he nodded, signaling that I should go ahead and go. Rico kissed me one more time and then ran his hands down my arms.

After that, I walked away.