XXIII
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Ashton and I woke up to a loud crash, jumping a foot in the air and immediately looking frantically to the other side of the room. I saw Trevor standing over a bunch of shattered glass, before he looked up at us.

"Shit, my bad," he said and Ashton grunted with a sigh, falling back down onto the bed. "Oh hey, I didn't know you were here," he added when he saw me.

"Nice to see ya, Trev," I replied, lying back down tiredly and covering my face with the sheets.

"Ashton, don't you have a class soon?" Trevor asked as he leaned down to start picking up the glass. At this, Ashton's eyes shot open and looked over at the clock.

"Oh shit," he said and frantically climbed over me to get out of bed. I chuckled to myself as he hustled to get ready, and got a little more comfy in his bed now that I had both sides available to me. I laid out like a starfish under the covers as he continued to scramble for his books.

"After my class can I show you around campus? I've been dying to show you off since the day I moved in," he asked over to me once he was finished getting ready and brushing his teeth. I smiled up to him.

"Why of course," I replied and he grinned down at me. He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead before rushing over to the door.

"See you in a bit!" He said and slammed the door behind him. I pulled the covers over my whole head and tried to pretend as thought Trevor wasn't in the room with me, still picking up glass.

"So," I heard Trevor prompt, and I peeled the covers down just enough to be able to see him. "Are you guys like exclusive? Or.." I looked at him incredulously.

"Yes. We are," I responded, astonished.

"Alright, figured I'd check cuz you're hot and whatnot but I respect that.. anyways see you around, I'm gonna go buy another new lamp," he said and left the room, leaving me by myself.

I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, so I pushed the covers off of me and rubbed my eyes, sitting up and swinging my legs off the side of the bed. Thankfully, I had a pair of clean leggings in my car that I could wear with one of Ashton's sweatshirts.

I didn't feel like retrieving my leggings just yet, though, so I just changed into one of his sweatshirts and remained pants-less whilst I made the bed.  The sweatshirt was long enough that you couldn't even tell, though, to be honest.

I sat back down on the bed and sighed, looking down at my hand as I opened and closed it. I winced in pain as I tried to form a fist, giving up once I felt the few cuts on my knuckles start to open back up again. Last night I had sort of blacked out while I was punching George.. I guess I really did go hard for my hand to be this beat up.

Right.. George. I had almost forgotten. Every time I was with Ashton he made me feel so safe that it almost led me to whisk away my actual reality for the reality I wished I could live. The calm reality. The wholesome reality.

I guess he was the closest thing to that reality I could have.

I looked around the room a little bit before I spotted a bottle of Tequila sticking out from under Trevor's bed. Rolling my eyes, I got up and pushed it further under the bed so that it couldn't be seen. This boy was asking to be kicked out..

I'm that moment I kind of wanted some liquid courage, but it's not like I'd ever in a million years take someone's alcohol without them knowing.. I'm not my mom-

I cut my thought short and froze, a frown immediately spreading onto my face. Without really realizing it, I've been slowly turning into who my mom was. I never wanted to admit it to myself, and I still didn't really, but some small part of me was trying to.

It hasn't hit me till that moment, that I was actually getting pretty bad. I mean, I should have been missing my boyfriend while he's in class, not missing my alcohol. It made me sick to even think about. I couldn't let myself go down this road and fuck up the good things in my life. I couldn't.

But I didn't know how. What was I supposed to do? It's not like I wanted to be feeling this dependent on alcohol, but I also couldn't just shut down that need with the snap of my fingers.

I was going to fuck everything up again. It was coming. It had to be coming. I had been too happy for too long and now it's all piling back up and everything's going to snap. I couldn't let it happen. I couldn't. Not again.

I felt my heart rate drastically picking up as I scrunched my face and put my head in my hands. Trying to focus on my shaky breaths, I felt a few tears fall as I fell backwards onto the bed and held my chest, my heart feeling like it was going to explode as I silently cried. I didn't even know exactly what I was crying about. But it felt real, and it felt like an elephant sat directly on top of my chest, restricting my breathing and pushing me down into the earth, causing everything else around me to fall in on me.

I had let myself think too much. It was dangerous for me to be alone with my own mind for any given amount of time. My brain was my own worst enemy.

After god-knows-how-long; I finally managed to calm myself down enough to sound fine to other people. Not wanting my anxiety attack to start back up again, I quickly wiped my face off and called my mom, backing up and leaning my back against the wall.

"Hey honey!" she greeted me, and I could hear Connor giggling in the back. A small smile grew on my face when I heard him. That kid brings such a light into my life.

"Hey mom," I replied, "just figured I'd call and see how things were over there, I'm waiting for dummy Ashton to get out of class," I said.

"Ugh, don't you hate it when they're educated?" she joked and I laughed. I missed the her that would joke all those years ago. I'm happy she's back. "Guess who wants to say hi," she prompted, and smiled again.

"Cwyssie!!" I heard Connor yell through the phone, and I chuckled.

"Hey Connor! What's up bud?" I responded animatedly.

"Grammy taught me how to play hop-stocks," he told me and I laughed, knowing he meant Hopscotch.

"That's so cool!" I replied and he agreed.

We talked for a little while more before we said goodbye. After talking with them, I felt a shit ton better. I knew I wouldn't fall off the wagon, for the same reason I believe my mom wouldn't now.. Conor deserves so much better than that.

We do, too, but in the end of the day we've both screwed our selves over countless times, so that didn't count for much. Must run in the family, I guess.

I was able to get washed and brush my teeth and everything, so when Ashton got back I was feeling all minty fresh as I was lying down on his bed. When he came in and saw me he chuckled.

"Have you not moved since I left?" He asked, a loving look in his eyes as he placed his belongings down on his desk and took off his shoes.

"A little bit," I replied with a smile as he made his way over to me, bringing me into a sweet kiss.

"Is Trevor gone?" He asked when we pulled away.

"Yeah, for now at least," I replied, holding his wrists, his hands remaining on the sides of my head.

He leaned forward and picked me up, tossing me back a little bit on the bed, causing me to break into a laughing fit. He climbed over me on the bed and chuckled at my reaction as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Once I stopped laughing, I brought my lips back to his.

"I say we take advantage of having the place to ourselves," he said, pulling away, and I grinned up at him.

"I missed you," I told him, and his eyes flickered around my face for a brief moment before they returned to my eyes.

"I'd say something cheesy and romantic but all I can think about right now is how fucking good you look in that sweatshirt," he said deeply with a smile and I laughed.

"Like I said, I missed you," I said and returned my lips to his.

I slid his shirt off and he began kissing down my neck, his hand feeling up the sweatshirt and to my bare waist. I bit my lip.

Can I stay forever, please?

** LAYLA's POV **

   "Eli I have to go to school," I told him with a chuckle as I sat down in my bed to put my socks on.

I had already gotten completely ready for school, and he had gotten ready for the day, and then he decided it would be a good idea to convince me to play hookie.

"You must not know me well enough, you totally could have sold me on this idea first thing when I was still tired as fuck. I've had coffee now though, so game over. I'll let you drive me to school, what do ya say?" I said over to him as he stood by the door, blocking it.

"I say we take advantage of having the place to ourselves," he replied, and I looked back up at him, an exasperated 'really' painted on my face.

"And I do know you well enough," he said, making his way over towards me. "You want to skip, and all it would take is a little convincing," he finished. I looked up at him defiantly as he chuckled at my intense expression and brushed some of my hair away from my face.

"Now I'm gonna to school just to be stubborn and prove you wrong, you know that right?" I replied, but his smile didn't leave his perfect face.

"You've barely been able to experience this town at all. Let me show you around, I can bring you to all my favorite spots and you can actually feel like a local," he said and I tried to hold back my smile in order to remain defiant.. I don't think it worked too well though.

"I have the homecoming game tonight, too, I can't miss that," I continued to try and reason with him.

I mean, he's been right this whole time. Skipping school to hang out with him?? Hell fucking yes please! I was just way too stubborn for my own good sometimes.

"Oh sweet, really?" He got a little excited. Ah shit.. forgot he was a big football guy here last year. "Well it looks like you just landed yourself a Jersey."

Wow, who would have thought that Eli Parker would end up being my date to the homecoming game... a mere year ago I would have thought you were on acid if you told me that.

"And until then," he started, leaning me back onto the bed and climbing on top of me as I grinned up at him, "let's have some fun."

"Alright, fine, you've convinced me," I finally gave in, and he smiled. "But you're gonna have to make it worth my while," I flirted, reaching up and tracing his jaw with my finger.

When my eyes met his, the way he was looking at me with a small smile sent shivers down my spine. I never thought I'd have anyone look at me like that, ever. The butterflies in my stomach were having a field day.

He slowly leaned in and planted his lips on mine. I smiled too hard and accidentally broke the kiss, immediately laughing because of it. I reached up and pushed him over, flipping us so that I was on top and straddling him.

He looked up at me eagerly and I grinned, leaning down and planting my lips on his as I felt up his shirt. I moved my hands to his soft hair as the intensity of the kiss increased. I leaned down and kissed his neck, nibbling on his ear a little as he reached to help me lift off my shirt.

Once I threw my shirt onto the ground, the rest of our clothes soon followed.

• • •

Hey guys!

The next chapter is pretty damn cute, my Layli shippers should get hyped.

QOTD: What is your favorite sport to watch?

>>> It's not my favorite sport to play myself, but I most enjoy watching American Football. It might just remind me of family and home and barbecues, but something about it just hits different. Go Patriots!!

Anyway, love you all so much! Thanks for existing and being such gorgeous people!

Be safe and wash yo hands

Stay beautiful,
Briella <3