A/N: So we are almost to chapter 20 and I think I have like ten more chapters in me for this story. I am working on others so that is why I only post like three chapters a week or so. I like to work a head and get the ground work done before I start to publish. One of the ones I am working on is call Best Friends. Yes is it a boyxboy because that is all I write. So if you like my stories please keep an eye out for that one. I will start to publish it a day or two when this one is complete. Now that it is summer time for our boy Lucas I think it is time for him to start to come out of his little shell and start to live a little. I want to see him start having fun and stop worrying about working so damn much. So back to Luc.

When I woke up I was a little comfused as to why I was so hot and there were arms around me. Last thing I remember was texting Holden, taking a shower and going to bed. When I opened my eyes and looked up to see who the hell was in my bed. Thank gosh it was Holden. I would have been freaking out if it was someone else.

"Morning sleepy head." He whispered in a raspy voice that made me shiver.

"Morning." I said smiling up at him.

"Hope you don't mind. I had three sleeping people in my car and I didn't feel like carrying them so I left them in the car and parked it behind your truck." He said making me giggle.

"You left them in your car? All three drunk?" I asked still giggling.

"Yeah, why?" He asked.

"What if they puke?" I asked.

"Then they clean it up." He said wrinkling his nose.

"I hope their okay." I said sitting up. He still had his arm around my waist but now his head was in my lap.

"They came up about an hour ago. I heard them talking and bitching about headaches so their fine." He said laughing.

"Maybe I should make some breakfast." I said.

"In a minute. I want to lay right her for a little longer." He said yawning.

After about a half hour I determined that Holden was back to sleep so i slowly and carefully untangled myself from him so I could go make breakfast. After dressing i made my way down to the kitchen and started to wipe up some pancakes. I figure if I follow the directions I couldn't go wrong. 

I so burnt half of these damn pancakes. Why doesn't it tell you when to flip them? Once I figured it out I was on a roll and made at least six a piece for everyone. I was happy once everything was done. I placed their food in the microwave and cleaned the kitchen before returning to my room for a shower and to get dressed.

"Morning cutie, have you been up long?" Holden asked as soon as I walked in the room.

"I didn't go back to sleep. I waited for you to go back to sleep and got up to make you guys breakfast." I said gathering clothes for my shower.

"Is that why you have flower all over your face and in your hair?" He asked chuckling.

"Hush boy, or you don't get any of my pancakes." I said giggling but trying to hide the blush on my face by not looking at him.

"Go take your shower and then we can go eat these wonderful pancakes. I am going to wake up all the drunken people." He said with an evil grin on his face.

"Okay, meet you down stairs." I said chuckling.

When I got in the bathroom I had to laugh at myself. I had flour every where. I see now why he was laughing at me. While the shower heated I brushed my teeth again because my mouth tasted like I had been kissing the Pillsbury Dough boy. The shower was a quick one but I made sure to get all the flour off of me. I sighed at the sight of Holden's shampoo and stuff that sat next to mine in my shower. I liked that it was there. 

When I was done and dressed I headed down to the kitchen. Everyone was down there drinking lots of water from what it looked like. Three out of the four looked like they had a rough night. I walked to the oven and pulled out the two plates of pancakes and set them on the island.

"Morning" Lace said in a croaky voice.

"Morning, does anyone want coffee?" I asked.

"Yes" Four voices say at the same time. I started making coffee while Holden got out the butter and syrup. 

"These look.... eatable." Holden said smiling at me.

"Hey, it was my first time making them so shh." I said with a pout.

"There good, they taste like pancakes." Landon said with a mouth full.

"See now eat." I said giving Holden a pointed look.

"I will when you sit down." He said folding his arms across his chest.

"We need to hurry what ever we do. Mom text and demands us home ASAP." Brook said.

So that is what we did. We all ate and some of us showered before heading over to their house to help set up for the party. I could only stay until three and then I had to go to work. Nothing really needed to be done. Ms. Thatcher ordered all the food so there was no cooking or anything. She also had balloons and stuff hanging everywhere. It looked really nice. 

"What time do you have to leave?" Holden asked as we were making sure all the breakable stuff was put away.

"Around 2:45." I said handing him a couple pictures that were on the tables we were storing in his room.

"Well I work tomorrow morning so I won't see you until I get off. We should go do something." He said.

"How about a movie and we can go to the dinner for dinner afterwards." I said.

"Sounds good but my treat this time and I am driving." He said coming over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I got on my tip toes and kissed him.

"Let's go mingle." I said taking his hand in mine and pulled him out of the room. 

The house was packed. Some of the people I knew from school and some I didn't. At least none of the asshats were here. Holden and I made plates filled with food before going out into the back yard. People were playing volleyball and some were playing catch with a football. 

"What time is it?" He asked once we found a place to sit.

"Two" I said with a sigh.

"That sucks." He said pouting.

"Agreed" I said before filling my mouth with a bite of ham sandwich.

"When do you get off?" He asked.

"Ten, I close tonight with Clare the new girl." I said not excited about training someone when I was still new myself.

"If you don't feel like going home right after work come back and join us." He said. I had thought about it but by then there would be so many people here that I don't think I would be able to handle it.

"I might, I will text you and let you know." I said smiling at him.

"Okay, babe if not we still have our date planned for tomorrow, right." He said with a wink.

"Yes, and I am looking forward to it." I said blushing.

When we finished eating I used the bathroom to get ready for work. There was so many people in the house and outside Holden had to get people to move their cars so I could get out so the last 45 minutes of our time together was spent apart. It sucked driving away with him waving. 

"Hey Lucas" Clare said as I walked in the door.

"Good afternoon, Clare." I said heading over to the counter so I could log in and clock in.

"So have you been partying?" She asked bouncing a little.

"No not really, I did just come from Brook Fletcher's party though. 

"Really, that is so cool, I can't wait until I graduate. Two more years, baby." She said smiling.

"One for me, thank gosh." I said laughing.

"Oh yeah your going to be a senior next year. You sure don't look that old." She said laughing.

"I promise I am." I said shaking my head.

"Well we have a bunch of stock to put away and because it is the beginning of summer it is predicted to be a busy day." She said. 

"I will start with the stock if you get to busy call me and I will come up and help. While I am doing the stock I will try and work the floor also." I said.

"Cool beans, I don't think I could life some of those boxes of books anyways." She said smiling at me.

"Well I will do my best." I said before heading back to the stock room and looking for the list of new releases and the restock.

Prediction was correct we were bombed. I realized that I wouldn't be able to bring out to many boxes at once because I was either running to help a customer or ringing them up. Clare tried to help me when we were slow but she could barely life a dictionary. I did manage to get most of the stock out by time it was closing time. I was tired and sore from all the shit I had done. I test Holden and told him I was heading home. He was okay with it and we had plans for a date tomorrow so I was happy about all that. 

When I got home it was nice to be able to just do what I needed or wanted with out having to worry about anything. I took a long hot bath before settling down with a Hungry Man dinner and a Cherry Coke. 

I woke up to my alarm at nine with a mess to clean up. I had fallen asleep with my food in bed with me. I had mash potatoes all in my hair along with corn and part of a browny. I don't even know where the chicken went and I don't think I want to know. After striping my bed and putting it all in the washer. I had found the chicken. Ewwe gross. After a quick shower to get all the food off of me I dressed and went down stairs. I was still the only one home so I cleaned and made a list of things that we need or that I needed at least. 

Once I got back from shopping I put all my bedding in the dryer. It was already going on one and Holden hadn't gotten a hold of me yet but Landon and Lacey were still gone so I figured everyone was probably still sleeping because of all the parties they had went to in the last couple days. 

By four I was starting to get worried so I call and left a message. I thought about driving over there but didn't want to wake anyone up. Even thought they should have been up already. 

When six came and went I decided to text one last time. I had left like four voice mails and six text messages for Holden. I was done. I didn't want to even try any more he was busy and that was that.

I made myself some soup found a book and went out on the patio and decided to read. I was a little disappointed that he didn't even call but before I would start getting pissed or thinking the worst I hoped that he lost his phone, his mom wouldn't let him leave or that he was still sleeping alone in his bed. That was my hopes. 

All my hopes were dashed when I got on my computer before bed. They were all out partying again. Holden was even posting pictures with his phone so I know he got my messages. That hurt a little that partying was more important then a date with me. Before bed I locked my door so nobody could get in. I didn't feel like waking up to anyone. I worked the next two days and I planned on being gone those days as well. I just needed to come up with something to do from nine until three everyday.

I was woke up around four too the sound of drunken dummies coming home. There was a knock on my door but I didn't answer it. I also heard the door knob jingle a couple times but the person gave up. Part of me was afraid to go back to sleep but the other part of me knew I had to. 

I was up, showered and out the door by ten. Holden was sleeping on the couch so I had to be quiet. I left my phone at home and took my old one. I wouldn't turn it on unless I needed it but at least I had it. I had decided that I was going to go to the zoo for the day. For a Tuesday it was dead and I like that. I had only been here once before so in away it was all new to me. I really loved animals. Bear are my favorite and they had a couple really cool ones that I sat and watched for over an hour. It was nice. I ate lunch and went and feed a bunch of the animals in the petting area. I got to pet a camel. That to me was awesome. That is until it spit on the ground by my foot. That was gross. When it was time to leave I really didn't want to but I did promise the bears I would be back soon. Um... maybe tomorrow. I could watch them all the time.

(Holden's POV)

I fucked up. I so fucked up it's not even funny. When I woke up I was sure that Luc would be there so I could talk to him but he wasn't. And I found his phone in his room. I waited all day for him to come home and he never did. I thought about going to him work but decided that it wasn't the place to talk. 

I don't know how I forgot about our date. I mean I do but it was a drunken fuck up. I know not an excuse. I bet he hates me. All that work we did and it all went down the shitter. He isn't going to trust anything I have to say again. 

 I was pacing back and forth in my room trying to come up with some way to get him to talk to me. I thought about sending flowers or something to his work with an apology but that just seemed to girly. Luc is not a mushy kind of person. I was even going to post something on facebook but decided I didn't need anyone that might want to cause problems to know there was something going on between us. Plus I am not the kind of person to advertise my mistakes or issues publicly to the world.

When it got close to the time for him to be off work I had decided to just go see him. What else was there to do? The least he could do was listen to me, right. But just because he listened didn't mean he forgave. I thought all of this while I was driving over there. Lacey and Landon were at yet another party so I knew the house would be empty. I had called off work today like a dumb ass because I was worry about Luc.

I parked my car outside of the apartment and got out so I could sit and wait. There was a storm coming I could hear the thunder off in the distance. I love summer storms. My dad had taught me how to tell how far away a storm was by counting the seconds between lightening and thunder. If there is five seconds between them then the storm is about five miles out. I remember as a kid sitting outside our old house and counting one Mississippi, two Mississippi until the thunder would crash and then we would laugh. This is something only him and I did. Before I realized I was gay I had always wanted to teach my kids this. Pass it down so they could have a memory with me like I had with my dad. 

An hour after he had gotten off work I finally saw his truck turn into the drive. It was sprinkling and the real storm was close so I was glad to see him get home. I knew he was avoiding coming home but I knew he would show up sooner or later. My fear now is that he would leave as soon as he saw me.

"Hey" He said once he pulled up to the door and it started to open. 

"Hey, can we talk?" I asked.

"Yeah but I have to work so I want to get to bed soon." He said not really looking at me.

"That's fine, I just need to talk to you." I said walking in behind his truck. I waited for him to get out and unlock to door to the house so I could follow him in.

"Where is Lace and Land?" He asked looking a little nervous.

"At another party." I said a winced as I said it.

"Shouldn't you be with them?" He asked not looking at me but continuing to walk up the stairs to his room.

"No, I fucked up Luc. I know I did. And there is no excuse for it. I made a drunken promise to my sister to go to her friends party with her and I forgot all about our date. And by time I understood what your text message and voice mails was talking about it was way to late. But I did come straight here as so as I figured it out. But I was in no condition to even try and talk to you last night. I don't normally drink. I don't like the way I feel when I do or losing control of my ability to do the right thing. I am so sorry. I can't promise that I will never fuck up again. I can promise that I will try to never fuck up again." I said sitting down on his bed while he got ready for bed.

"I understand. I mean I should have figured it out. We are totally different people. You are popular and I am a nobody. You are going to want to hang with your friends and I work all the time so I get it. Sooner or later you are going to realize this and dump me anyways. So why not just end it now. Save us all the bullshit and possible heartache. I really like you and if you want to date we can when your free but I have to concentrate on college and stuff. I have bills to pay and work comes first for me. You should enjoy your summer." He said breaking my heart with every word.

"I don't want to break up. I am falling for you. Being with my friends isn't important and I don't care were we stand on the social ladder as long as we are together. I promise to make this up to you. Friday will you let me take you out? I want to show you how much you mean to me. I want to spend my time with you. Brook talked me into the party because she is leaving in a couple weeks. I am weak when it comes to my sister and my mother but besides you they are all I have. Let me make this up to you. Let me prove to you that I can be a good boyfriend and that other shit doesn't matter just you and us." I begged.

"I really don't know what to say. I guess we can go out Friday night but if I still feel this way then we just date. I don't want to come in between you and you family. I have just gotten mine back so I understand why they are important to you. But I need you to promise me something. I need you to promise me you will not say the "L" word to stay in this relationship. I am not ready for that. That word scares the hell out of me right now. That doesn't mean I don't have feelings for you because I would be lying if I said I didn't. But I can't and will not even attempt to uses that work unless I am 2000% positive that, that is how I feel and the person I feel that way about feels the same way." He said looking really tired. I wanted to hold him but I didn't know if he would let me. I understand his feelings on the "L" word. I have my own Harvey that ruined that for me. But I knew I was falling hard and fast for this little guy. And this love was nothing I have ever felt before now all I have to do is prove it to him.

"Okay, be ready by five we have a long drive to get to where we are going. You might want to pack an over night bag just in case we decided that we want to stop at a hotel or something. Make sure you have swimming trunks and dress clothes packed also." I said going over to him and hugging him. I hated that he went stiff before hugging me back. We are back to square one with him and it is all my fault.

"Fine, now I really am tired so I would like to go to bed. You are welcome to stay if you want." He said getting up and walking to the head of the bed. His side of the bed. He wanted me to stay but didn't want to come out and say it. Maybe I hadn't lost him all together after all. Time to start working on getting my baby back.