"I could've sworn I was telling the truth when I told you I didn't miss you."

pleasefindthis, I Wrote This For You

"...the sad part is, that I will probably end up loving you without you for much longer than I loved you when I knew you.Some people might find that strange.But the truth of it is that the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact they have on you as a person is in no way relative to the amount of time you have known them."

Ranata Suzuki

"It's painful, loving someone from afar.
Watching them - from the outside.
The once familiar elements of their life reduced to nothing more than occasional mentions in conversations and faces changing in photographs.....
They exist to you now as nothing more than living proof that something can still hurt you ... with no contact at all."

Ranata Suzuki

"His eyes missed her as much as the rest of him."

Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

[3rd person]

Zane closed his eyes, leaning against the trunk of his old, favorite tree, breathing in the last of the long day.Though autumn wasn't his favorite season, he had to admit there was something special about the autumn sunsets that nature had to show. He found himself watching the sunsets recently. The way things were going in his life, they had a calming effect on him and soothed his sanity which threatened to slip away from him with every passing day.

The season cast an orange haze above the horizon, lighting up the sky as if lit by fire, yet the haze was so crisp and clear.
The sun, like a large, grandeur orange fireball in the distance was partially cloaked by the hanging clouds, which were all splashed with the random colors of hot pinks, reds and even hints of purples and blues. The sun was so large that he felt he could almost touch it. It seemed to look at him with a dull glare, knowing that it's beauty and the planet's dependence on it for survival made up for it.
The sun which had it's time to shine for the time it was given, seemed to whisper "Farewell" to the world as it sunk lower and lower in a lazy manner; almost as if it never wanted to leave.

But Zane knew he too had to leave soon. He leaned off from the tree, walking down the grassy hill and ducking underneath the thick pine branches and towards the castle. A cool breeze passed, making him stop in the middle of the field. He let the wind toss his hair as it was almost like a human touch. It had been a while since he had been touched by another or even shook another's hand.Then again, he hardly trusted anyone.
He looked at the sun again. The sun was almost as orange as the sky, like a ghost almost. Yet even from behind the trees, it seemed to stare at him; a silent ball of wonderment that was really a raging ball of Hellish fury. The very thing that gave warmth, life, light, and happiness to so many could just as easily cause utter destruction. That fact reminded him of his father.

Greg closed his eyes once more, the events of the day going through his mind like a reel. His father always told him to get out of the habit of daydreaming, but Zane was always the intellectual type. The "thinker". The sound of his father's words echoed in his mind, jerking him out of his fleeting thoughts. By the time he opened his eyes, the sun was gone, leaving behind a sea of dark, lonely clouds in a twilight sky. The heavens were beginning to litter the stars about, for it was their turn to shine.

He knew that things, like the seasons, would change and that everything would be alright. And like the sun, he knew everyone had their time to shine. And he knew it would someday be the same for him.

Letting out a quiet sigh he felt his heavy lungs become lighter as his mind went back to her.The hate she had towards him made him shift into a smirk, yet the thought hurt him slightly, feeling as if he was being stabbed in his heart.Zane felt connected to her, for a reason he did not know himself, yet he felt intrigued to find out.It was the way he wasn't able to control himself around her, maybe hiding it was good.Yet, it wasn't.

What happens when you try to hide something away from someone so well?Well, of course, you hide it from yourself in the process.

"A peaceful day, just wonderful for a peaceful mind." a voice echoed as the wind gradually stopped, looking around he found no one.Narrowing his eyes to have better vision in the distance he saw Hyria making her way to his direction, after a few seconds she stood in front of him, "Am I right?"

"What do you want?" he said stubbornly, ready to walk past her and going back to the work he was already neglecting for a few countable hours.

Hyria gave him a thin book with light covers, no title or author written anywhere.Raising his gaze away from the object in his hands to ask a few questions, Hyria was gone.Nowhere in sight.Not even one word being said.

Opening the book he saw one name, one spell, and one chapter.The words were straight to the point, like an arrow being unable to miss its target.

---

Zane was awake in the middle of the night, the atmosphere deep and looking dim in the reflection in his icy blue eyes.He looked tired as ever like sleep became his worst fear or enemy that he refused to face.Books were scattered on his work table and on his hard wooden floor, he was searching for something.His hands were placed on his head as his finger got lost in his dark hair, which had a small glow from the candles he lit.The cold ice in his eyes was melting, as his cheeks got stained.

"One spell got us here, one spell took me away from her!" he yelled as he pushed everything off his table, not being able to hold his anger inside anymore.The book spoke of what happened, it spoke a short story of the reason Shad came to visit them, and how they got stuck back in time.And one spell could make it all go back.Make it all go back to the very beginning.

Question is, was it worth it?

Zane felt his fast and strong heartbeat hit the back of his head as he focused on his surroundings, his mind jus staying on her.Memories running back into his embrace as he looked around the study, remembering where they all stood that day, where that portal was opened.

Y/N wanted to go back to fix things, to find out things she did not know, and to clarify the knowledge she knew.But to Zane that stopped meaning anything, because the past is the past and it is not worth obsessing over.

[End of Chapter 18]

i used to write chapters between 300-400 words.not anymore.

love you