This was too much to take in. Her mind flashed back to where she saw the name first, it was a package for Mubeen while he was away. Or could this be a mistake, maybe it was wrongly delivered. Mubeen was never married, that she was sure of. But Mubeen confirmed he knows the lady bearing that name at the University of Bath. Well, it may be a name coincidence. Mubeen was never married and this was a wrong delivery, she wasn’t going to feed the suspicion she had. She was still going to ask him though, to clear her mind from negative thoughts. She had a warm bath and rehearsed how to break the news to him. Mubeen had always said her smile was contagious. She would keep smiling and tell him to guess or just hand over the result to him. She was still in the middle of her drama when he walked in.

“You said you would come home early” she whined like a baby

“I’m sorry dear. This one you look radiant. What’s up? How did the visit go?”

“I told you I’m fine and I got the confirmation letter from the doctor” she picked her bag and checked in it for the test result

“You got a parcel? Oh! I was wondering what the excitement was about? Who sent it? Saalim or Sakeenah?” he picked it up to see it’s a card.

“Yeah, I wanted to ask sef. You can go through it. I think there’s a mix up somewhere. But the name sounds familiar, Faariah Bakare”

“What?! She sent it?” Mubeen was caught unaware and he regretted it the instant he spoke in such an alarming way.

“You know her?”

He didn’t utter a single word till he was done reading the card. This was it and he knew it. He had dreaded this moment. He rested his hands on his hips, wiped his face nervously and hung his head, looking everywhere else but Salmah.

“Wait, you know her?! This is a lie, right?” Salmah kept her calm. When he did not reply, she took some few steps to stand facing him.

“Mubeen, you were married...in the UK...and you didn’t tell me” she said more like whisper scrutinising him with her stares. And when he still didn't look at her, she got the clue.

“I’m not your only wife, am I?” she took some steps away from him as if he had been plagued.

How the tears found its way out, she was unaware. As far she knew, she was trying hard not to break down in his presence. There was no point acting all strong again. She didn’t shed a single tear when Maymah died, it was unusual of her. She tells herself more often than needed that she had to stay strong for the babies and her husband who just lost a sister. Even close pals were surprised.

That night, all the emotions came running. She cried in hysterics as her sobs grew louder. This couldn’t be true, she trusted him wholeheartedly. The tears were hot and flowed rapidly, unable to control her sobs, she cried harder with every energy left in her, her body shaking rigorouly. All the pent up despair, sorrow and now, betrayal were let out as she sobbed even louder, not caring if the neighbourhood could hear her. It was as if Mubeen was stung seeing her cry that hard. He hated himself for doing this. He was in trouble, a deep mess.Mubeen tried to hold her in a way to explain what happened, and she ran from him like she was going to contract his disease. As he tried moving closer to her, repeating that it’s not what she thinks it is, she tumbled over the huge flower vase just outside their bedroom and let out a scream holding her abdomen. Mubeen rushed to her, kneeling beside her, she quickly got up and attempted leaving when the pain hit her again in full force. She fell unconscious and Mubeen was shattered.

“What happened? Who is crying? What happened to her?” Mamman Suhail asked breathlessly from the spontaneous steps she took to get upstairs.

He was doomed!

____♡♡♡____

“I remember I warned you to smartly play your games” Alhaji Adebola began.

“I told you your reckless life must not in the least way affect her. I advised you to tell her before the Nikah, this isn’t something to be kept hidden from your spouse-to-be. But you are Mubeen after all; my advice had never mattered to you. When you turned a new leaf and decided to seek knowledge, I thought you will seek wisdom with it.” he tapped his temple with his index finger.

“But only Allah grants wisdom to those whom he wishes. This charade could have been avoided if you had open up to her!” he paused to control his anger. “I want you out of my apartment immediately! Pick up your suspension letter from the office and sort out this mess!”

“And this must not get to the media!” he announced on his way out of the living room.

Mubeen looked haggard and drained as he sat with a thud on the Sofa. He should have listened to his father. During one of the halqah sessions he attended in the UK, he learnt that one does not go about spilling one’s misdeeds. Whatever it is that happened between him and Faariah was a misdeed, it wasn’t even valid from the beginning, it was zina.  Since he had done tawbah, he then decided he wasn’t going to tell anyone not even Salmah. After the solemnisation, he sought for Shaykh Sameer’s opinion and he advised he told her before she hears it from other people. But then he couldn’t bring himself to tell her, fearful of what her reaction would be. He sincerely didn’t want to hurt her. She got hurt anyways.

“What are you still doing here?!” Mamman Suhail shouted on entering the living room.

“Didn’t you hear what your father said? Get the hell out of this place now! Idiot! Stupid boy! Is this how I taught you? Is this how I brought you up? To hurt women? To betray people’s trust? No wonder you rejected Maryam’s proposal, you had someone you were sleeping with already there, abi?”

“Ammii... wallahi it’s not like that” he cried

“It’s like how? Tell me oo, shaykh Mubeen, it’s like how? And you’ll be doing waasi about, abi?! So you can cry? Men don’t cry remember? You got married and nobody knew! Nobody! We have barely recovered from the death of your sister, and then this! Ehn?!”

“I’m sorry Ammii. Ammii, please forgive me. Ammii please.” He held her legs and sobbed in tail of her gown.

“Get off me! Idiot! Look, I’m going to the hospital now to bring Salmah home. I must not meet you here because she won’t be staying with you again. She’ll be in Umaymah’s room till she feels better, and if she decides to go home afterwards, I won’t stop her” she affirmed and left him sobbing on the tiled floor.

“Ammii please... please...please...please. Yaa Allah...” he placed his head on the sofa and sobbed in it. His mom was his favourite person after Allah and His Rasul, he can’t withstand her anger and displeasure in him. Where should he even start from? Salmah had given orders to the hospital that she doesn’t want to entertain his visit. She doesn’t want to see him. How should he sort this? He needed to explain things to her, he needed to seek her forgiveness, and mend his relationship with his parents. If his mom met him there, she can practically hit him with anything she finds handy, he knew his mom too well. No child is above getting hit. He wiped his tears and left for Suhail’s house.

He nearly got into an accident driving to Suhail’s house. How could he be forgiven? He killed his unborn child. Knowingly or unknowingly, he was responsible. Which mother will forgive the killer of her child and grandchild? He was always the bad child; he was still the bad child even at adulthood. He parked outside the gate and walked in. Even the gateman had to look at him thrice to be sure it was him.

“Oga Mubeen, hope you dey okay?”

He ignored him and went into the three bedroom apartment where Suhail resides with his family. He sat at the reception just at the entrance of the sitting room. He decided to dial Salmah’s digit once again which he was almost sure she won’t pick. And as a ritual since the day of the incident, he texted after every three missed calls he left for her.

I know I deserve no mercy, I don’t deserve you Dunni, I know. Please forgive me, Please I beg you in the name of the One you serve. Give me just one chance to explain everything, please Dunni.

He knew she wasn’t going to respond to the messages, like she did for his earlier messages, ignore them. He hoped with sincere tawbah, du’a and mercy from his Lord, she’ll at leaspt give him a listening ear. He rang the bell and waited for a response.

“Who’s there?” came the voice of Rahmat

“Mubeen”

“Oh come in” she unlocked the door.

“Subhanallah! Why is your face all red? Wait why are looking like this. kiloshele?” She examined him more carefully. “come in, come in” she ushered him in and hurried to call her husband.

Mubeen served himself a cup of chilled water from the dispenser before he resigned to sitting down opposite the TV. His eyes were set on the news channel on the TV but his mind wasn’t near.

“Hey bro” Suhail extended his hand for a shake.

“Salam alaykum” was all he could say as he was trying to be man enough not to break down. He deeply hoped within that at least Suhail will hear him out and be willing to help him

“Should we go in?”

“No, here is fine”

“So, what happened? I’m all ears”

Suhail was the replica of their father with wisdom and calmness. As Mubeen narrated what happened two days ago, Suhail listened as calm as possible. Then, he demanded to know the whole story. At a point, Suhail got very furious at him and shouted at him. He then instructed that he gets a shower first, have something light and they can discuss the way forward later on.

Later in the evening, they decided to go to the mansion to iron things out. Suhail drove them to the mosque to say their Maghrib salah. On getting to the house after Maghrib, the gateman insisted that Mubeen wasn’t allowed into the house on the instruction of Alhaji Adebola. Suhail tried to coharse the gateman in allowing Mubeen, but he really wasn’t ready to lose his job, so he was persistent in his claim. Fortunately for them, Baba met them at the gate on his arrival from work.

“As-salamu alaykum baba” Suhail greeted

“Wa alaykumusalam yaa Abaa Abubakr. How is your wife and my grandchildren? Thank God you didn’t kill yours”

“Baba...please. Can we just come in and talk, please”

“Why not? Only you is allowed. Mi o fe omo alaigbonran nle mi”

“Baba please, he needs to talk to Salmah” Suhail pleaded on Mubeen's behalf.

“Ehen... let him call her. If she agrees he comes in, no problem” Baba said before walking away.

Suhail dialled Salmah’s number to request a permit of entry into the house which was granted. Suhail encouraged Mubeen to go see her first before anybody else saw him. Mubeen stood for close to 10minutes at the door, contemplating whether to knock or not. Suhail didn’t tell her they were together, he only mentioned his name to avoid being refused entry. He decided to knock.

“Come in” he heard her voice and realised how much he missed it as he turned the knob to gain access to the room.

Salmah was surprised to see him. Of course, she expected Suhail. Her anger was rising and she needed to thread carefully cause of her health. So, she decided to remain silent.

“I was naive and ignorant. I was infatuated with you so much I got depressed thinking I couldn’t have you. Then I met some Muslim brothers, who suggested marriage as a lasting remedy. Baba was against it, I didn’t listen. I found out it was a fraud marriage, not valid under the Islamic law. All these within my first three years in the UK. I divorced her and stayed away from her since then but she didn’t let me be. I wanted to tell, but I didn’t want to hurt you. I feel you’ll think less of me and think me undeserving of your love. So, I kept quiet-”

“You lied! You lied! You had over 18months to tell me, Mubeen. After I received the first parcel and informed you, you could have told me then. You weren’t chaste after all. You raised your voice at me because you didn’t want me to see the mails she sent you” she sniffed.

“I’m sorry Dunni”

Salmah raised her finger at him “Salmah. My name is Salmah” she wiped her tears.

“How many more?”

“She’s the only one, wallahi”

“Congratulations. Shut the door behind you. I need to rest.” She took off her overall hijab, picked up her phone and laid in bed.