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Adonis »

"I hope that didn't make you uncomfortable." Farrah chuckled.

"..not at all."

"Good." She said, laying back down on my shoulder.

The train ride wasn't very long, but it felt like hours. Even though being this close to Farrah made me nervous, I felt comfortable. Much more comfortable than I ever did with Ivy.

Ivy crossed my mind a few times during the train ride, considering this is the very place I met her. I never really talked in detail with Farrah about that date, so it almost still felt like a weight on my chest.

I know that not all girls are like Ivy, but I'm not stupid. I know that sex is apart of most relationships of people my age.

Sure I've thought about it, recently more often than ever. But I know, at least on that date with Ivy, I just didn't want to. I just hope that won't be a problem with Farrah as well.

I know there was a reason for the way I was feeling.  I remember the day I got my prescriptions,  I could tell by the tone of both my mother and the doctor's whispers, that these medications would cause more than a few hormonal side affects.

My mother argued that because I was just a kid, none of that would matter. But it would. I'm not a kid anymore.

The short times without my medication my mind with all types of thoughts, dreams, and internet searches that I'd rather not repeat.

That's a drastic difference from when I would take my medication regularly, then sex would hardly ever cross my mind at all.  And when it did...it wasn't for the reason it should.

I had four medications to take, my mother replaced one. Meaning, those thoughts were far from gone.

"What's on your mind?" Farrah asked me, chuckling.

"Hm?"

"You seem like you're in deep thought. What you thinking about?"

"Stuff..."

"What kind of stuff? You can tell me." She said lowering her voice, even though we were the only two left on this section of the train.

"Uh. Just..relationship stuff..like.."

"Sex?"

She knew?

"What made you go there?"

"You're seventeen, you're a guy..I figured it would cross your mind." She laughed. "Nothing wrong with that. Everyone thinks about it."

"Is everyone..having sex?" I asked her.

"A lot of people are, plenty aren't. Doesn't make you any more or less anything."

"Have you..?"

I instantly regretted saying that. Is that rude to ask?

"Um I-"

"Nevermind. Sorry."

"Don't be. It's cool..I've never had sex before. I almost did, but it didn't go as planned."

Though I did wonder, I didn't ask what happened.

"Oh..cool."

"Not really. What makes you ask?" She laughed.

"I don't know. I know you said plenty of people never had sex, but it doesn't feel like it. Even the people who haven't are ready to, right? Ivy said-"

"Before you start worrying, could I tell you a secret? And promise to tell absolutely no one." She interrupted.

"S-sure."

"Everyone is different and there's nothing wrong with not being ready. I wasn't ready, and I embarrassed myself by having a full on panic attack. Adonis I have- well people have different experiences which can sometimes cause them to weary of things like that.  So don't try to force yourself to do things you aren't ready to. You know what I mean?"

"I- I know exactly what you mean."

"Good. It's about being comfortable..so no rush."

Hearing her explain things to me made me feel as if I could tell her almost anything, even things I've kept to myself my entire life.

"Could I..tell you what my mom said?"

"Of course."

"When I was like fifteen, and Eden got caught with a girl in the house..my mom told me I should stay just stay celibate. And that..sex isn't something that should be apart of my future relationships. Do you think she's right?"

"I can't say I do. I feel like only you can come to that conclusion."

"She says I can't come to my own conclusions."

"Adonis. You and I both know that you can."

"But she said that people will take advantage of me, so I should just-"

"I mean this with all due respect to your mother, but fuck what she says. Okay?"

"..okay."

Farrah »

After the train ride, I'd learned a lot more about Adonis. As time goes by he slowly opens up to me, and I'm trying to do the same with him.

When we entered the restaurant there was almost no wait time, and we were seated right away.

"What you gonna eat?" I asked Adonis, as we scanned the menu.

"Probably spaghetti. You?"

"I'm not sure..I haven't been here in a while."

We talked about a variety of things while we ate, with me trying to let Adonis talk more. Often times I feel like I'm dominating the conversation, but he's naturally quiet.

"I'm just gonna let you know Farrah..."

"What is it?"

"I'm uh..I'm paying for your meal." he said, before looking down.

"That's okay Don, I'm good."

"No, really. This is a date....please don't find me rude but...I'm gonna pay."

"It's fine Adonis, you don't have to-"

"Farrah."

"Alright alright. Just this once, okay?"

"Just this once.....and next time." He mumbled.

"No not next t-"

I was interrupted by my phone ringing, vibrating loudly on the table.

Braheim.

"Don I really really hate to be rude but this could be important-"

"I don't mind. Don't worry."

I nodded and quickly answered.

"Hello?" I sort of whispered.

"Yeah..you're still at the meeting, right?" He asked.

"Yeah yeah. Why? What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want to know why I see you in Little Anthony's downtown."

Shit. I looked around the restaurant, but he wasn't in sight.

"Turn around genius." He laughed. I looked over out the window to see him with a group of friends, eating outside of the place across the street.

"Dude. What are you worried about what I'm doing for?"

"Who's the kid you're with? Is that one Eden or the smaller one?"

"The sm- it doesn't matter. Go on with your day. Goodbye." I said, frustratedly hanging up.

Adonis stared at me, sipping his drink.

"That was nothing." I assured him.

—

Adonis pretty much demanded that he pay for the both of us, so finally I let him.

He insisted we do a little walking around before heading back for the train, and I agreed. The weather was perfect for a stroll.

"Farrah. If you're gonna eventually be my..um..."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah...that.." he smiled. "I should probably tell you..about me." He said putting his hands in his pocket.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't tell people but..the reason for all the medications is uh-"

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready."

"No I am. I trust you not to feel different about me." He said, stopping me where we were. "Even though this isn't the ideal place to talk about it..it's on my mind heavy. Is that okay?"

The park we were walking by was almost empty, with only a woman walking her dog, and a homeless man sleeping on a bench.

"Of course."

"The reason for all the medicines and uh..sometimes the way I act is.. I have Aspergers. Which is probably no surprise to you..it just means I have a hard time socializing and communicating. Things like that."

He was partially right, I could tell Adonis was different.  Though I wouldn't have guessed his diagnosis. Truly, it never crossed my mind.

"I appreciate you feeling comfortable for telling me, but I promise..that doesn't change the way I feel about you."

"Th- that's not it. The reason a relationship me would be different than one with someone else is.. I also have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." He said shamefully.

This time I was silent.

Adonis»

"I- is that bad? Maybe that was too much to share. I'm sorry."

"No no that's not it..it's just.."

"What is it?"

"I..have the same thing." She said quietly.

a/n:
Before the edited version of this chapter drops. Early readers: did y'all see that coming? I don't want that to seem like it came out of nowhere

Edit; imma keep that thread up for those who ain't catch the foreshadowing. Lol I think I was a lil too cryptic about it ^^^^

Anyway, thanks for reading