Padding downstairs and heading into the living room, Darryl smiled as he saw Zak and - what was he called again...? Curled up together on the sofa. Joining them and slipping his arms around Zak's waist, he looked at the sleeping child curled up on his chest. "What are we going to do with you, muffin...?"

Stirring, Zak opened his eyes and sleepily met Darryl's eyes. "Were you talking to me?"

"No. Sorry I woke you, Skep. But what are we doing? We've got some random child in our house, in a foreign country, not even knowing where he comes from. His parents could be looking for him right now!"

"Shhh," Zak mumbled, gently sliding Mega off of his chest and climbing onto Darryl's lap. He started to lift his shirt, kissing every inch of his skin and looking up with pleading eyes. "Can we keep him? Please?"

"Well... the readers thought he would be a cock block," Darryl shrugged, playing absently with Zak's hair.

"What did you say?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter, anyways. It was something about CheriCherry, I think," he replied, tugging Zak's chin up to give him a proper kiss. "We'll sort something out, okay?"

"Deal. But can we get some food first?"

"Sure, you want muffins? Or pancakes?"

Groaning, Zak climbed off of him and headed towards the fridge. "Let's have something easy to make. You're obsessed with muffins, you idot." Pulling out some fruit and strawberry yoghurt, he started to cut it up and put it into two bowls, dumping the yoghurt on top and putting both haphazardly on the table. Darryl shook his head disparagingly, but still poured two drinks and got spoons, sitting at the table. Wandering over and sitting on his lap, Zak dug in.

"And how am I meant to eat if you're crushing me, you muffin?"

Through a full mouth, Zak gave him a grin and wiggled his hips. "You can manage."

Just then, the floorboards creaked, and Mega's head peeked around the doorframe. He hesitated, eyes curious as he looked at Zak sat on Darryl's lap. Hopping off and standing up, Zak opened the cupboards and pulled out a few cereal boxes. "What do you want to eat, Mega?"

He pointed to the box of the right, and Zak poured him a bowl of Invaded Crunchers. He set it down on the table and flopped back onto Darryl's lap.

Looking at the two of them and tilting his head curiously, Mega hesitated for a second, then climbed up onto his lap too. Darryl grumbled under his breath. "I really can't get to my food now."

"Calm down, idot," Zak giggled, picking up Darryl's bowl and holding up a spoonful. Looking at it and rolling his eyes, Darryl obliged, licking Zak's hand as he did so. "Stop, Bad!" He carried on, biting his fingers, and he squeaked slightly. "Stop or die tomorrow."

"Okay, fine..."

By the time they actually finished and washed their plates, the sun had started to climb in the sky. Glancing at Mega, who was playing with the cushions in the living room, Zak leaned closer to Darryl and whispered, "What are we going to do?"

"I think," he replied, hugging his waist, "we need to take him to the police."

"But won't he be taken away?" Zak's eyes were wide, and he looked genuinely upset.

"I don't know, he might be. But we have to. What if his parents didn't leave him? They could be looking for him now, and they'd be broken hearted if he went missing."

"I guess..." watching as Mega dive-bombed onto the couch, he grimaced. "Better get it over with, then."

On the ride to the police station, the car was silent. Darryl had called a taxi, and they were only about ten minutes away, but nobody talked. As the building came into view, however, Mega hid his face in Zak's arm. Frowning and putting his arm around him, Zak met his fearful gaze. "Do you not like it here? Why are you scared, Megs?"

He just shook his head, tears threatening to fall down his little cheeks as the car came to a stop. Darryl took his hand, picking him up and balancing him on his hip as they walked up to the front doors. "Don't be scared, Mega. We won't let anything bad happen to you."

As they reached the reception desk, the lady there glanced up absently - then dropped the papers in her hand, gasping and letting loose a storm of angry words in a foreign language. Shying away, Mega started to cry, and Darryl stroked his hair comfortingly. "Hi, do you speak English?"

"Hi, hello," the woman barked, "yes I speak English, but not good. Has Mega been escaped again?"

"Escaped? What do you mean?" Zak frowned, leaning his elbows on the desk with a confused expression.

"He is from orphan house, he run away all the time. He wants a parents, but he is to wait until someone adopts him, not run away. But this was Mega last warning, and he is not in orphan house for any more. He is not useful because he doesn't talk, and no people have want him. Give him to me, he will be take to hospital for... how do you say in English? He will be put away - no, down."

"What?!" Taking a few steps back and hugging the sobbing Mega close to his chest, Darryl clenched his fists. "You would kill a CHILD?!"

Zak inhaled sharply as he understood what the woman had said. Stepping protectively in front of Darryl, he practically growled at her. "You can't!"

"He is useless, and nobody wants because he does not have words," she shrugged, unfazed. "You kill dogs when they are broken in your country, no?"

"THAT'S NOT THE SAME!" He practically screamed, looking as if he was about to launch at her.

Taking Zak's hand, as both a comfort and a silent warning, Darryl cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I can understand if it's a normal thing in this country, but we won't let you have him. Maybe this can be resolved a little more calmly?"

"There is no resolve. This one," she gestured to Mega, "does not wanted by anyone, and we need to get rid. There are too many child and not enough people to have them."

"No! I won't let you! He's so sweet, and adorable, and LOVELY-"

Clamping a hand over Zak's mouth, Darryl gave him a death stare. "Outside. Now."

"But-"

"I don't care," he retorted, "go outside and stay put, I'll sort this." Looking at Zak's worried expression, he sighed slightly and kissed him for reassurance, before shoving him in the direction of the door. "I promise I won't let anything happen to him. Now go outside, so I can have a civil discussion about Mega."

Zak reluctantly dragged himself back outside, and Darryl quickly turned back to the receptionist. "Is there a way that we can avoid putting him down?"

"I told you, silly man," the lady frowned, becoming more hostile as she glared at the sniffling child, "he is to be killed because he is not wanted and he had no home."

"You said he isn't wanted," Darryl reasoned, "are you saying that if he was wanted, he would be allowed to live?"

He was met with a curt nod, and he broke out into a full on grin, a triumphant look on his face. "We want to keep him, then... or at least, if you want to stay with us, Megs."

Nodding furiously as yet more tears silently trailed down his cheeks, Mega buried his face in Darryl's chest. The woman watched on with an unimpressed look on her face, then grabbed a pile of files and rang a number in them. Speaking furiously into the phone in her native tongue, she rolled her eyes and sighed, hanging up. "Go to orphanage," she commanded in a bored voice, holding up a slip of paper with an address on it.

Darryl snatched it out of her hand, storming quickly out into the street with Mega still balanced on his hip. As soon as the doors swung shut behind him, he screwed his eyes shut. He absolutely hated arguing.

Feeling a pair of arms hug him fiercely from behind, he turned and smiled at Zak, handing him the slip of paper. "Looks like we need another taxi."

"Did you fix it then?" Zak asked anxiously.

"Yeah. We're keeping Mega, and we have to go to his orphanage to sort out the details," Darryl replied, shrugging casually.

Zak spluttered, eyes wide, then smiled happily. Attacking his cheek with kisses, he laughed as he noticed Mega's jealous expression. Giving him a light kiss on the cheek too, he murmured, "I told you we wouldn't let anything happen to you."

Taking Zak's hand and shifting Mega onto his other hip, Darryl winked. "Let's go adopt a child, only about... a week after our wedding!"

"No need to sound so happy about it..." Zak lashed back, tensing.

"I am happy about it, muffin. Now don't you dare sulk, I need you to help sign off these papers."

---------------------------------------------------------

Okay, so!

Aah I love writing in broken England, something about it is so fun. It probably has to do with the fact that all my usual mistakes don't matter, now I come to think of it...

CheriCherry stole another piece of the fourth wall, oh gOD WE'RE DOOMED-

Mega is bae <3